1 Chapter 1 - Reunion

To myself

In a step that is stopped because of the uncertainty of direction, in a body that is helpless because it becomes so frail, in a soul that is crushed because it is crushed by an angry soul, in a soul that is lost. I will take you on a path that will make you smile again, like always.

How bad are you that you make all of them die, how bad are you that you make the step stop, how shattered is your soul that you make those dreams shattered.

Did you forget when you wrote that we must be strong in facing all challenges in achieving our goals that come from uncertainty. Yes, it's not certain. But we will make it sure, surely we will achieve those dreams. We just need to slow down so that everything can be knitted slowly, and all we need is time. The time when we will struggle in it with endless series of dreams, the messages that will be conveyed by language, the time when we struggle with thoughts to express all the worries that have been lodged in the mind for a long time. And with time we will complete the task where all the sequence of events will become a picture that looks real in the imagination of each person.

every guest willing to read it.

Implementation. Yes, implement it

those trash plans. Anxiety that has been lodged in the mind for a long time. Don't leave it.

****

In the invisible space, I wrestled with my own thoughts. The thought that is not crazy about anything that is based on all misunderstandings, thoughts where all questions reside, thoughts where I cry profusely because of hopes that are not in line with fate. In the recesses of a very silent heart, I felt a very annoying pain, in which I screamed as loud as I could because of the expression of feeling that forced my tongue to refuse an answer.

In a refusal, I slipped all the questions about it. About whether a rejection will always be there for every body, about whether rejection will always make the soul feel uncomfortable, about whether a rejection will make the souls angry, because

his disapproval of such treatment.

At a reception, I also want to ask something. Whether an acceptance will make everything good, whether an acceptance will only make the soul happy, whether an acceptance will only make us smile because what we want is acceptable.

****

Under the evening sky, alone, only lonely friends in the crowd. I walked through the park which is located not far from where I live. I went with a goal that I didn't understand at all, I don't know, what I wanted, I didn't know at all.

I've been walking around the park for half an hour, I see a lot of happiness, a lot of togetherness, a lot of spirit that resides behind the bodies that I see. However, on the other hand I also see sadness, I also see loneliness, I also see unhappiness. A contradiction that will always exist and reside in human souls.

After quite satisfied I went around the garden, I deliberately looked for a comfortable place to sit for a moment and rest my feet that did not know this direction. There is a grandstand, not far from where I stood, I stepped my foot there. Arriving at the stands, after I sat there. I opened my backpack, I took the laptop that had been lodged in my backpack. I re-opened my notes and I started to check what I had written earlier. Yes, I've been writing a lot lately. I write everything I think I need to write. I am not a writer, nor have I ever published anything of mine. I just love to write.

****

It was getting late, I closed my laptop. It's time for me to enjoy the atmosphere of the sky that began to emit a reddish light at the end of the horizon. Time goes on, dusk begins to say goodbye because it will be replaced by the moon that will decorate the night. The day slowly grew dark, the dusk disappeared in the far west. Now the official time is night.

Several hours had passed, the sprinkling of stars in the young night sky began to scatter, what a phenomenon I really liked. I don't know if every body is the same as me. Love the seconds where the change of time seems to be something fun to watch as seeing a beautiful painting that makes the eyes sparkle when you're looking at it. Ahh, I don't know, maybe they'll just think I'm stupid because I'm overdramatizing a phenomenon of turning afternoon into night, which after all happens every day, hahaha.... Or maybe they just never realized the beauty that God has given from the start tasted the world. Maybe they are the only ones who don't realize that because they are too busy serving this temporary life, they forget that there is something that we can enjoy in simple ways. Some people prefer to devote themselves to life, to a material wealth. They forget that everything is temporary and only a deposit from the Divine.

The time is already 20.00 pm. It's time for me to hurry back home. I have an appointment tonight to work on a project with my best friend Haira. Some time ago when we were replying messages, when we were busy discussing about the world of writing. Suddenly Haira asked me to create a project, a project where we would work together to string a string of characters and turn them into books for publication. Suddenly I was surprised, what was the wind? Haira suddenly wanted to invite me to make that project. Maybe because he knows that I love to write. But honestly I really like his very challenging invitation. I also agreed to his invitation.

22.00 pm. After I showered, I prepared my best appearance to meet Haira. After everything was done, I took my backpack on the table in my room. I went out, I closed my room and walked straight down the hall that led to the living room. There's no one there, it's empty. I only live alone with my sister, and she hasn't come home yet, I don't know where to go. My sister Raffa usually comes home after the night is old. Not infrequently he came home at 03.00 even early in the morning.

****

Since childhood, our father and mother separated. My father took me, and my mother brought my sister to live with her in the village, my birthplace in a village in West Java. My father took me to Jakarta to live with him. After a year my father separated, he decided to go abroad to work, and I lived with my grandmother and grandfather in Jakarta. 20 years dad didn't come home.

****

My phone rang, a name written on the screen. Turns out Haira called me.

"Hello Fajar, I'm on my way, I'm waiting at the usual cafe. Don't be long, I'm tired of being alone. It's like a test of my guts. Hehehe...." Haira said teasing me followed by a flirtatious laugh.

"Yes, yes, I'll be on my way for a while. If you arrive first, you just order a drink first. Oh yeah, you're testing your guts, soon

the ghost appears hahahaha...." I joked back.

I arrived at the cafe. After I parked my vehicle, I went straight to the cafe, where Haira was already waiting at one of the tables inside. From a distance I

when he saw him playing his slender fingers on the keyboard of a laptop in front of him, he was resigned to spilling lines of words.

"Hi Haira, how are you. Are you well?" I greeted after arriving in front of him. and I sat down on the bench I had been waiting for, which was located right in front of Haira.

"Thank God I'm fine, oh God, it's been a long time since we've seen each other." Haira greeted me back.

We started talking there. Apart from discussing and exchanging stories, we haven't seen each other for a long time. Sometimes I make him laugh with my silly jokes. Hahahaha, I really like to joke sometimes to amuse myself and lighten the mood. It's really fun every time I meet him, even if it's just to exchange stories and exchange laughs.

From a long time ago, apart from the fact that we had the same profession in music, I also really liked it. It's not that she's beautiful, but what attracted me to her was the first time I saw her

mature way of thinking. Makes me feel comfortable when I'm with him.

****

In the jungle of books

I found the dim words

I explore the metaphorical trees

Then, step by step I explore the valley of fiction in the hope of finding meaning in the storyline

As I walked, I found a river and a raft on his lips

I climb on the raft and I paddle with the current in a prolonged coma

Long story short, in the midst of my search for meaning in the storyline, I arrived at the climax estuary

At the end of what should be kept secret

Like "we" which is a secret

Which is just the beginning of "words"

****

The night was getting late, I invited Haira to go home. I took him to his house in Tangerang area. It's quite far from where I live, but that's okay. After all, Haira is a woman, it's not good to go home alone at night, far away.

"Dawn, thank you for dropping me off. Even though I already said no, you don't have to. Finally, you know that my house is far away, hehehe..." Said Haira, which was followed by a flirtatious laugh that I really liked.

"It's okay, anyways, I'll let you go home alone at this time of night. What kind of guy am I who lets his female friend go home alone, Jin Iprit will steal it later, ha hahahaha." I said laughing.

Haira frowned, then he laughed too. Her laugh is sweet, that flirty laugh, I really like it. Instantly made my chest rumble.

"Then I'll take my leave first." I say goodbye.

"Yes, thank you very much, Jar. Be careful, be careful not to meet a genie Iprit in the middle of the road." Reply Haira while scaring.

"Hehehe, don't scare yourself like that. Okay, I'll go, bye." I added.

"Okay, bye."

I started my car, which had been waiting faithfully in front of Haira's gate. I opened my car window. I smiled at Haira. He seemed to be waving his hand while smiling at me too. Again that smile, the smile that always makes my chest flutter every time I see it.

I went back home to seclusion. Back into the room with lonely friends. It feels like I've just had another encounter. However, very short. Now I'm back to a farewell. But it will always be like that. It's all symmetrical.

Thus time, everything will continue to run on its axis, where there will always be contradictions of events. Like what I just experienced.

***

Maybe we are just bodies apart from each other.

Maybe we are souls who are neglected by the crowds of taste

hate from the people we hate. Maybe we feel

refused to unite with the laughing souls

own stupidity. But listen with mind, we

are each of the same who shout at each other

taste through the lines of words—in the slips of pages

paper. In the line of sentences that are picked up by commas

prolonged, brings us to the paragraphs

umpteenth. Until we come to the end of the question that doesn't exist

come to answer. Because we are that answer

alone.

Time and distance won't make us forget each other,

won't keep us apart, won't keep us apart

give up on staying with each other. Ask each other, greet each other

greet each other, string together story lines, seek meaning from each other

of a bond that will somehow end.

Soon we will go back together. Exploring the ocean

longing; walk through the wilderness of letters; looking back

the meaning ever contained; walk together

live the meaning with the hope that it will not lead to

finished. Because we are meaning itself.