Chapter One.

I was tired of everything, life as a whole to be a whole deal than expected. I was frustrated as nothing seemed stabled for once rather it only chose another route of pain which made me tired of living and wished death would do the biggest favor of cutting me off from the whole dark reality and never bring me back to the land of the living. Well it didn't, instead it made me wake up to it every morning, gave me more scars to find, broken till I felt absolutely nothing in my veins I think my body even became numb to everything as I could barely feel my own emotions that's if I did have any. Running a hand through my hair, I took a deep breath trying to calm down before the usual anxiety started spiking but I couldn’t for the said mind of mine kept drifting back and forth out of my thoughts. I kept zoning in and out of reality a bit but couldn't focus on anything. Looking around my room it suddenly became too toxic that I decided to take a walk as it always seems to ease my stress but it never did any relief instead, it kept drowning me in my dark world. Though, it kept my mind a bit far the dark pits created in my heart. My life wasn't one you'd see and wish for despite the priceless smiles I put up for they were mere facade even to me. I've never come to experience anything called true happiness, laughter itself was a mere figment of my imagination and life itself had chosen to set me on a pit of darkness, a darkness that I could barely comprehend and withstand so I slip and drown in it at some point that I can't live without it for it is like I have become the darkness itself. I barely see the light if there was one, I just never thought of it. To me, it never existed since I had become encrypted and clogged to darkness that the thought of light and reality always sounded funny.

Walking down the familiar streets in the neighborhood, I took a long glance at the once finely tarred roads that was constructed finely and smoothly now looking out of order with few potholes, tars uprooted caught in between molds of sand and the sharp sand surroundings the others paths found a way in between my toes which were totally uncomfortable it made me stop at intervals to clean them out, I was beginning to feel tired so I found my way to a nearby shade. I sat down on the long bench provided not minding the owner for there was not any sign of an owner close by.

Slowly taking in my surroundings and staring at the few houses in front, I noticed a woman looking in her late thirties screaming at a young boy about my age. I think there was something about her eyes, a withheld emotion which felt like pain. She looked like she would rip the boy’s head off I wondered what the reason could be. I used to think of ways to leave my dark state of mind but got nothing and even when I find something it felt wrong to my spirit for I could barely read and feel anything due to the darkness around me. I'm constantly plugged into the cruel reality of harsh pains that even my mind felt too weak to cope with, I wanted to be saved but at same time dreaded it.