31. Give Me A Chance

Unable to catch the last train or find another taxi to the city, Ari opted to get some rest in a nearby hotel, though it had been Rey's suggestion after concluding him unfit for the long drive in his hysterical state.

Upon informing Mun of their extended stay, Rey promised to make up for lost time at work. Just months ago, he was a fresh recruit fearful of being fired, and now, he and Mun had become friends off duty and more excellent colleagues after his promotion. Nevertheless, he was apprehensive about discovering Ari's private life in-depth. He feared he knew more than he should, and Ari sitting beside him in a silent whimper only made everything more uncomfortable.

"It doesn't matter leaving it all behind me. There is nothing left for me here," Ari had whispered in his despair.

On multiple occasions, Rey reached out his hand to comfort Ari but couldn't bring himself to touch his skin. So, in the end, he decided to let Ari silently grieve his hurt away.

Out of spite, he chose a motel that was a short distance from Ari's home.

"If you are not going to open up, I'll ring the reception for an extra key. You've been stuck in the washroom far too long."

"What do you want?" Ari swung the door open, his expression pale and eyes swollen. "I told you to get your own room."

"Your current haggard state is problematic. You might give up on life and have me deal with your corpse by morning."

Ari sighed and then walked past Rey. He lay on the bed and covered himself away from Rey's view.

"Were you still crying?"

"If you know, keep it to yourself."

"Why would you weep for those undeserving of your tears? It is unlike your confident character and for any man." Rey pressed on but got no reply. He stared at an unmoving Ari for a while and sat on the couch beside the bed. Of the two, it was better for him to remain calm, especially after provoking the situation to the point of Ari's mother threatening to call the authorities. He might have deemed it necessary then, but upon seeing Ari weeping for almost an hour, a tinge of guilt kept bugging him. The problem was that it wasn't enough to make him regret his actions. In his conclusion, Ari didn't need such a kind of family.

Speaking of which, Rey too wasn't sure his family would take in well his newfound lust for sexing a man who not long ago had been his employer. Keeping his sister's enormous debt, let alone gambling addiction, had been too hefty a secret to hide, and one secret was more than enough.

"Don't ever come close to me nor touch me. I was delusional to think this trip a lesson to you, or perhaps I hoped for closure. Either way, thank you for standing up for me despite your <span>unorthodox methods." </span>

<span>'Has Sir Ned seen this side of you?' Rey wanted to ask that but held his tongue back. 'I've already pushed him too far.'</span>

"Have you always been like this? Outrageously outspoken and opinionated?" Ari asked.

"Compared to your childhood days, you are entirely different now. You know, for this gap more of yours."

"I'm not a child any longer. Remember I also bedded a grown man who dashed off after wetting my mattress? That was quite an unforgettable sight." When Ari remained silent, Rey pressed on. "About the kiss earlier, I'll always be attracted to the opposite sex. Your so-called family simply makes it excruciatingly difficult for me to treat them respectfully."

"And I'm the pawn for your proving a point."

"Well, you're soft, smell lovely, and you care for more people than necessary."

"What exactly is your point here? Are you trying to equate me to a woman?" Ari sat up to face Rey, his covers falling to the side. "Or perhaps this is some sort of forced suspension bridge effect to make yourself feel better."

Rey smiled, something rare for him, and Ari wished he'd smile more, but just as soon as it appeared, the smile disappeared. "You're right. You're definitely not a woman despite your unappreciated diplomacy. Still, you remain divergent from other men. My point is you are different. Mun knows, and I do too."

Ari remained expressionless, and Rey hated that he couldn't read him. "Why did you have to come here physically? Didn't you know you were being tricked when they called for you?"

"I'm jobless with time to kill, remember?"

"Aren't you worried you'll spark unnecessary rumours? "

"Mun was supposed to accompany me; besides, this must be done, rumour or not. Whatever you saw was inevitable after staying years away from those people."

Rey hesitated briefly. Considering Ari's current state, he decided against further pressing the matter. "It must have been hell coming out. I'm also no different from your so-called family."

"Is that your way of comforting someone? Concerned while at the same time disrespecting them."

"I'm addressing your resilience. That's why I wish you to become my mentor. Even if many are against you, myself included, you still push for what you want, and I saw it today when confronted by your siblings. Despite your family's prejudices, you succeeded at excelling in a career, having conviction over your choices and regretted nothing, as timid as you were."

"What the..."

"I'm used to being called gullible and flat-faced; perhaps that's why I don't know when people take advantage of my lack of perception, which often leads me to second-guess my self-confidence. The me you met in college was taciturn and morose. I'm still like that sometimes. Therefore, having the courage to move forward despite no support from your seemingly well-off family, I admire that part of you. But unfortunately, not everyone can do that, including myself. So please let me know the next time you want me to accompany you on such an errand or anything of that sort."

"You just sounded as if you're desperate to be my friend. I won't fall for it, though. I'm not sleeping with you again."

Rey chuckled as he stood up and walked towards the bed. He sat beside Ari and was glad not to have been chased away. "It would be better to retire after taking a shower. You stink of sweat Manager Ari."

"I'm exhausted," Ari complained, laying down and covering himself again. "I'll shower tomorrow morning."

"If you don't get up, I will wash you by force."

"I'm not stupid, Rey. I know why you are doing this. Wasn't I clear enough?"

"You caught me again." Rey laughed. He knew Ari wasn't in his right mental state, but he couldn't help pushing on. There was no doubt Ned had never seen this side of Ari, and that only meant he still had the upper hand.

"You don't love him. Sir Ned, that is."

Ari remained silent, unmoving, unprovoked.

"You don't like him enough to allow him to see you this depressed. Otherwise, you'd have told him to accompany you."

"You're delusional."

"Why then didn't you postpone your trip so the two of you would come together? Why bring me over when I'm no different from your obnoxious siblings?"

Ari felt Rey moving closer, hugging him from behind, but he didn't seem to care. He just wanted this day to end. Rey may have exposed his truth, but the anguish of losing the only people he considered family tore him to pieces. His childhood home, the memories... All that was gone now. Despite them being filled with so much hurt and pain, there were still good ones, weren't they?

<i>'After years of healing, I thought I was ready to cut ties, but I wasn't prepared at all. I feel empty... I don't know what to do now. Am I supposed to accept this? Give up the comfort that somewhere, someone considered me theirs even if they despised me? Is this really the end?</i>

<i>No. There must have been good people in this town who didn't find me repulsive. Even if it were a single person that believed in me, it would be more than enough.</i>

<i>Still, the reality is there has always been those that hated me everywhere I went. I'm yet to find one person who likes me back.'</i>