1 My Life

In my time of youth, getting a job was definitely not the first thing that came to my mind whenever I thought about what to do in the extremely large amount of free time I had. Instead, the first thing I always thought about was how to effectively waste my time.

I was too self-centred at the time and saw the world through a filter. Maybe it was because of my sh*tty Primary School life or perhaps it was due to my own bad luck. I was a kid who was born with asthma and eczema, causing other to look at me with disgust. My 'friendly' classmates bullied me openly while the teachers were outside the classroom doing their tasks. It was definitely due to the mental and physical torture they dished out which affected my outlook on life, leading me grow up as a person with low self-esteem and cowardice.

My parents and siblings tried to help me, my teachers tried their best to talk it out with their students, but that only made matters worse. The bullying became more intense, to the point that they'd start beating me whenever we arrived at the playground, but that didn't mean I didn't fight back. My low self-esteemed personality became one that could easily be enraged because of it. I didn't know at the time that my rage back then was fuelled by fear...

Time passed... Many events unfolded and many people who were once my bullies turned into something close to my acquaintances. They realised their faults and wrongdoings before apologising for their actions. It was either that or they had just decided to ignore an explosive person like myself.

The time for the final school exams arrived and everything I knew from that point changed dramatically. My classmates would still mess around like every other year. However, even as they did, all of them would take the time at home to catch up with schoolwork due to the pressure exerted by their strict parents. I had dyslexia at that time so I wasn't able to leave the school with high marks, but even so, my marks were enough to get average results.

After that I went to my new Secondary School with a blank slate. The Secondary School wasn't as good as my Primary School when it came to the quality of their facilities. However, it was still a good place to make a fresh start so I could forget my past.

It's too bad the younger me of that time was filled with paranoia, unable to put his trust in other and unable to hide the feelings that displayed on his face. The result of my paranoid actions made my Secondary School life nearly a copy of my first but with more secretive bullies.

The me of that time thought he was the most pitiful person in the world. It's laughable that I thought that but it's the truth. I didn't think of the good people I met in my life and I didn't try to improve the relationships I had with others. My grades were merely passable and I never made an effort to improve myself. Well, at least my personality improved and the illnesses I was born with suppressed over time.

Then came College and University, the two most important educations needed to get a high paying job. I decided to just whimsically pick anything I liked and barely passed an advanced science course at my College. However, I didn't even have high enough scores to get into University after getting my results.

That younger self of mine was such an idiot! I can't believe I tried to stay at home and live off my parents, refusing to find work in order to have more time to waste reading Manga. After my parents and siblings had forced me into the military, my job is that of a soldier who actually gets sent to dangerous places was enough to take my life.

As a soldier, work was extremely hard to the point of exhaustion... especially those missions in Afghanistan. My paranoia saved me more times than I could count, my perceptiveness and sensitivity to danger sharpened over time. Most would say that it was a hell on earth, but I'm not most, my opinion was that it's the best days I ever lived.

I found brotherhood with the comrades as I fought with side by side with them at the edge of death. They were all brothers who would take a bullet for me, brothers I could rely on, but it's just a shame that I wasn't the same. I was a coward that selfishly fought only for his own survival! I was a coward who could only leave those reliable comrades of mine and ran away from every dangerous encounter I faced...!

One of my brother-in-arms died right before me and all I could do was mourn at his sacrifice. Years passed, and I gained more experience with time, but the amount of brothers that were lost in battle increased in time. After years of endless battles between life and death, the army allowed me to rest.

Now, as an eighty year old man, the regrets I feel when looking back at my life are extremely high, but all I can do sit on this armchair and lament. The world around me seems grey and lifeless, or maybe it just my eyes playing tricks on my mind again.

Reality may sometimes look entirely different through a filter created by a person's own limited perspective of the world, but something seems strange.

Hah... Living for so long takes its tole on a person. My senses are no longer as sharp as they used to be and I no longer have the composure I used to keep up in front of my fellow brothers...

My doctor said I had dementia, but like hell I'd believe him! There's no way a healthy guy like me could have such an illness! It's probably his imagination...

"Oh please, Great Hero, hear and answer our calls." A soft and gentle voice resounded in my ear. I got up off my seat cautiously and looked around but I didn't answer the disembodied feminine voice reflexively. I felt that the world would cave in on me if I did.

"Oh please, Great Hero, hear and answer our calls." The female voice I heard in my ear moments ago seemed to be accompanied this time with the voices of several older males. Their aged voices along with the woman's soft voice resounded in my ear once more, yet this time I felt a physical attractive force that seemed to distort the grey-coloured world around me.

I didn't know what to do in such circumstances but a habit that was ingrained into me by many years as a soldier acted up, allowing me to quickly arm myself for any incident that was to occur. I readied myself for battle by putting on a bulletproof vest and loaded the rifle I hid under my bedroom's cushion, a murderous intent radiated in my eyes as I was prepared to eliminate any suspicious individuals!

"Who the hell are you?" I asked the soft voices resounding in my head. The world around me distorted as my body was suddenly transported inside a European-like Castle. In front of me was a middle-aged man dressed in luxurious gold ornaments who was sitting on a throne, looking down on me from above like a king among men.

I was completely dumbfounded by the sudden changes of events. I never thought that I'd be kidnapped from my own home. I look at the people around me more clearly and see that everyone seemed to have dressed up in strange outfits. There's no way I'd call what they have on costumes because the metal swords that these 'Knights' had sheathed near their waists were more than just realistic... Even 'I' could smell the faint smell of blood in the air.

When my eyes glanced at the bright radiance below my feet, my old heart trembled violently. An emotion of incomprehensible shock was written all over my face as I tried to myself calm down. Under my feet were glowing and patterned circular marking that many old priest-looking men held their palms towards with a look of worship.

"Who are you? And what do you want with me?" I quickly analysed my surroundings and pointed my rifle at the most important person sitting on the throne above me. The knight-like warriors in luxuriously crafted steel armour pulled out their swords and tightly surrounded me in response.

"Oh please, Great Hero, slay the Fiend King and bring peace to the Heavenly Divine Sword Kingdom." The rich man decreed with an aura of superiority which was similar to that of a King's.

A King? Wait, why does this sound so familiar? After my body was suddenly 'summoned' into this strange castle, I suddenly felt my mind grow clearer, it was as if my mind was somehow rejuvenated by the sword that was stabbed into the ground in front of me.

Time seemed to slow down as I quickly looked around for information before responding to the luxurious man that I felt was somehow looking down on me.

The man claimed that he is from a foreign Kingdom which I have never heard of and is 'requesting' me to fight against enemies he claims are 'Fiends'?

I feel like shooting him already...!

Why would I fight another man's war?!

I'm not some foolish youth who'd fall for such a vague explanation. Judging from the fact that the man in front of me is wearing an excessive amount of gold accessories, the fact that not only him but even the 'nobles' around him are as fat as pigs, and the fact that he seems to be completely relaxed on his throne. I can safely say that I was 'summoned' to another world to be some kind of advanced super-soldier.

And yes, I've completely accepted the fact that I was 'summoned' after secretly pinching myself. I really couldn't help but let out a deep and emotional sigh after understanding that I somehow I got myself caught up in a truly troublesome mess...

He wants me to be a Hero...? Like hell I will! However, just as I was about to voice my thoughts, my body felt numb as my flesh started to turn to dust. I could only watch on in horror as my body started to disintegrate in this foreign world as soon as it arrived.

I'm... dying...? This... doesn't make... sense...! What happened to the cliché development of forming a hero party and slaying the demon king? Am I really going to die so ridiculously? I can't accept this! To be shown the hope of surviving old age and then having that hope taken away from me filled me with a great amount of despair. Even if I wasn't going to have a pleasant life in this world like the main characters from those 'another world' stories, I would've still benefited from survival.

A light flashed in my eyes as everything from my youth to my current old age replayed as my fading consciousness re-experienced the wars of my past.

However, just before I died, I suddenly 'remembered' an unfamiliar memory.

No, was it really 'my' memory?

It was like a repeat of what just recently transpired, but instead of being summoned to a castle, my body was transported to a high mountain.

Compared to the scheming 'King' that I met before, this 'Emperor' that summoned me was a lot more straightforward by calling me their warrior and offering compensation for my services as their Clan's 'Totem'.

By 'Totem', it seemed like the strangely dressed people with animalistic features wanted to give me the same position of a Hero. Unlike the King I previously met, their Emperor offered compensation for my troubles instead of trying to take advantage of me.

Be it in temperament or sincerity, the so-called Fiends had a lot more of it compared to that king. It's too bad the throne made of humanoid skeletal bones ruined their image entirely.

Well, the difference between their way of welcoming me changed nothing because I still died soon after being summoning. But why can I remember this? Why does my memory split into two sections after my summoning?

I guess I'll never know the answer... I looked at the King in front of me with unwilling eyes as I fell to my knees. My body finally disinterested into dust that was blown away by the wind... I can't believe my grave is on a foreign land...!