Prologue

Probably, I am the most non-standard popadanets.

Well, I have not heard or read about such people, but I have read a lot. Well, a lot.

A familiar scenario: I got hit by a car — "bang" - already in another world.

There are many variations of death: electrocuted, stabbed, shot, or a plane crash, and for some, without any adventures at all — I went to bed at home, and woke up already a hitman.

Okay. Now briefly about me: born-lived-died.

The "born" phase can be omitted: I generally do not remember myself well as a child.

The "Lived" phase was successful. I lived well, well, just wonderful. No, really. I studied well, found a well-paid, dust-free job. I had a two-room apartment and a car. On the personal front, everything is fine. There is a hobby (if you can call it that): watching anime, reading manga, fan fiction and all sorts of fiction, mysticism and a little bit of playing all sorts of RPGs.

On the last point, "died", not everything is so rosy anymore. Well, yes, what can be good in death, especially in your own, and not your beloved neighbor from the top floor?

One not very beautiful Sunday afternoon, I went out on the balcony to smoke. Yes, the Ministry of Health correctly warns that smoking is harmful to health, but so be it... In general, the picture: I stand, smoke, lean on the fence, admire the view of the city. Suddenly, the fastening of this grating on the right side breaks out — and I fall off the balcony.

You will say: "Nothing like that: I fell from the balcony." So this is how it all just started. Not only did I survive (it was only three floors to fly), and besides, I slowed down my flight against a tree and plopped down on the bushes. Yes, it was scratched, but nothing fatal. So I'm lying on a prickly bush, contemplating the sky (it turned out to be especially beautiful) and out of the corner of my eye I notice how the same lattice breaks off from my balcony and flies down. It is because of her that I have an unscheduled rest. She's clearly aiming at me.

Noticing this fact, I managed to bend the obscene structure (at least a three-story mat) and roll slightly to the side. As it turned out, to no avail: the grid hit me on the head.

Well, it seems to be everything! "Hello, New World!", but no... My luck is still with me, and I'm still alive. I saved my life and got a healthy bump. The doctors diagnosed me with a "concussion of what replaces the brain" and loaded me into an ambulance.

On the highway, a Kamaz truck crashes into our car. Ha! And even this is not the end of the story of my death: I got off with a slight fright and a couple of abrasions. Alas, this can not be said about the ambulance crew... Well, I was well fixed on the gurney, and the gurney was also firmly attached in the car.

Just a few days ago, the fleet of cars was replenished with modern models. It was the governor who broke up before the election, so I was lucky not to die in a banal car accident. And again, I missed the ticket to a new life.

They took me to the hospital after all. There I was handed over to the emergency room. They also safely forgot about me there. What did you want? We have FREE MEDICINE. I was discovered by the evening shift. More precisely, they did not remember, but stumbled upon an unaccounted body on an unaccounted gurney. My mortal carcass gave rise to a debate: the previous shift hurried home and denied me, and the current shift refused to take the body that came from nowhere. After half an hour of heated discussions, the gurney was sent... No, not to the morgue. There were such proposals, but I was still showing signs of life, so the disputants agreed on resuscitation.

The emergency room was on the first floor of the hospital, as was the morgue, and the intensive care unit was already on the third floor. Naturally, everyone moved to the elevator. On the way, I saw a room with the designations "M/W", which I have been really wanting to visit for a long time. What I told my guides about. "And maybe you will be patient?" — I answered with a categorical refusal and rested on the fact that I have been suffering since the morning and no longer in any way, if they do not want to wash the gurney and the elevator, then they need to make a stop.

While we were arguing, a grandfather in a wheelchair got into the elevator and began to climb. However, as soon as the elevator reached the last floor, we heard the sound of a cable breaking and the elevator falling. In general, the trip to the room with the designations "M/W" was no longer relevant.

I was finally taken to the intensive care unit by the stairs. On the way up, I was almost dropped six times and still dropped twice. I still can't understand how I didn't break my neck. For the first time, the wheel of the wheelchair fell off. In the second, the straps with which I was attached to the gurney broke.

In the ward, I was sure that my torment was over. Oh, how naive I was! It was only by a miracle that I survived three more times that night. First, by mistake, I was taken to the operation, where I almost died from anesthesia. Now I know that I am allergic to it.

The next day, my girlfriend visited me. I was so glad to see her! She also brought some delicious treats. I chew with a feeling that life is getting better. It was she who told about the two night episodes. I didn't listen to how it happened: the very fact that these two times were enough for me, but they passed me by.

And now we come to the culmination of this epic story of my death.

It took about ten minutes after my girlfriend left.

Doctors pronounced him dead from suffocation.

I choked on a cherry stone