Companion Secrets pt 1

 Harlan woke feeling sore, from the bumping carriage and the heat. His air current had shut off when he had fallen asleep, he guessed, and the air was stagnant and dusty. Harmony and Muse still sat across from him, asleep too, he guessed. He restarted the air current and then used his senses to explore around him. The caravan had left the forested area and passed through the plains, and was now entering a more hilly area, with shorter grasses and a lot of flowers, from the smell; they were slowing down, too, which he suspected meant they were choosing a camp for the night. He felt his way down the line and noted that Neil and his girlfriend were riding alongside; they were talking about something, but he couldn't hear what was said. Suddenly the carriage stopped, and he heard a knock on the door.

"Lord, we're stopping for the night, but I need to inform ye that there's a large fire ahead somewhere. A lot of smoke, almost direct ahead of us. Should we send someone to check it out?"

Harlan considered. A lot of smoke? Was someone burning off their fields, this early in the season? More likely it was a battlefield, although it was still far from Blackwall.

"Go ahead and send two scouts. Tell them to take care not to be seen, since it could be enemy troops. I look forward to the report."

Neil snapped his reins and galloped off towards the front of the line. Harlan had a suspicion that he meant to go look for himself; Neil was always careful when directing others, but he could have a stubborn streak when it came to taking care of himself. He wanted to call after him, but remembered Neil also had Teleth and others who knew him. Hopefully he would remember he was a valued member of this company and not risk himself.

Harlan went back to exploring, wondering about the fire. He still couldn't sense ahead, because of where Harmony and Muse were seated, unless he forced his mana through their aura… And as welcoming as they had been, he still didn't know enough about their link to understand what that could do. He had read that the mana of other mages was instinctively rejected by other mages, and that it felt intensely uncomfortable; but Harmony and Muse had linked minds with him and spoken to him mind to mind on several occasions now, without any discomfort at all… There was still so much he didn't know, apparently.

He reached the end of the caravan, where the prison-wagon drove with its 4 guards. He could feel that Jeede was still inside the wagon. He noticed with some sadness that she had a yellowy-brown mana aura, herself; what a waste. She could have developed her mana, instead of being so hateful towards others who had it…

He wondered how Benly and Kyir were getting along back at home. He wasn't nervous about them being in the castle; there were very few things in the castle that were a secret, and those that were, were already locked in his tower bedroom along with his notes. Grebefal was too poor to have a treasure room or a bank of any kind; he stored the finances notes and the supply for hard times, in a large chest there. It had been easier than he had thought, taking it over from his father; Uvin had taught him how to work the finances and pay off debts through Master Jer, many years ago. Harlan had always been good with numbers and strategies for saving, although his father had had to teach him how to avoid offending others with assumptions about their needs. "Never presume to know what someone needs, better than they themselves say." He had always said. "People may ask for too much for any number of reasons; make sure to support first, and ask why later."

Those policies had made Grebefal prosperous and the people secure; they knew Lord Grebe would help them when they needed it, and in their gratitude they asked less and less often, because they knew they could, if they needed to.

Harlan's thoughts drifted to Blackwall. He wondered what it was like; his father had told him stories, but you can't touch stories, can't feel the stones or smell the flowers… and as loving as Uvin was, he still described things as a seeing person did. Harlan was only just now experiencing what that meant; seeing a campfire, for instance, or the forest; seeing the great desert-cliffwall, and the horses, and being outdoors…all those things he had only ever experienced in brief flashes from Granny, never for long, never more than a moment. It wasn't just the seen, though, that made a place; he was sure that Blackwall would be special for many reasons. It had been his family's empire for generations; although he himself was a tiny offshoot of it, an unruly mouse in a family of powerful tigers. Every one of them had been trained as mages; many had been battle-mages, trained in both weapons and mana.

A shout from outside; the soldiers were bustling around the carriage now, unloading the tents and belongings from the top, hurrying to get the camp set up before nightfall. The sun was setting; Harlan felt the chill of the air from his current, and undid it. Harmony stirred and sat up; Muse did too. "Shall I be your 'eyes' again?"

Harlan smiled. "If you are willing…but perhaps you would prefer to get some food first? I recall someone saying they didn't like skipping dinner to be my eyes.."

"but dinner isn't ready yet. I'm not skipping."

"Muse!"

"Sorryyy… Our food hasn't been prepared yet, Lord Harlan."

"That's better. Remember his Lordship isn't Benly or Kyir, you can't speak to him as if you're his sister!"

"Oh, I don't mind it though, Lady Harmony–"

"Don't mind, or don't have a mind, Lord Harlan?"

"Muse!!"

Harlan felt a laugh building in his chest. He loved everything about the way they reacted to each other; the way Muse was rude and informal, like a child; the way Harmony was graceful and polite, and nurturing; the way the two of them had helped him out of the worst situation he'd ever experienced, and into a new way of living… his gratitude overflowed. He felt he'd never get enough of listening to the two of them banter like this. He wanted every day to be full of it.

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Muse transformed into the chameleon again; she climbed into his hand, and he set her on his head, connecting his eyes to hers as he did. His head spun a little in dizziness at the movement, but Muse settled in and clamped down onto his hair, and the spinning sensation stopped.

Harmony was watching from across the carriage, her mouth in a half-smile; her face was flushed and sweaty, and her hair and clothes were tostled, but she still looked beautiful. How can someone be so perfect? He wondered. Then shock washed over him, as he realized Muse was listening. She isn't perfect, Muse responded. But it's nice of you to think so. Her tone was amused. Harlan climbed out of the carriage and wandered away from it, feeling embarrassed. I…forgot you were listening. I didn't mean to, ah, say that... he thought carefully. 

It's all right, Muse said, in an uncharacteristically gentle way. She thinks you are nice, too, you know. She likes you a lot. Harlan felt his face grow hot. Really? Harmony likes me? He felt Muse's tiny form shift. Yes, she does. But she isn't ready for a relationship yet. She was hurt badly. So please… wait for her to be ready, if you really like her, came the reply.

Harlan felt shock chilling his hands and foot; he stopped, the evening air which blew on his skin, lifting the hairs on his arms. Of course I'll wait, he thought, his stomach churning. I would never, ever want to hurt her. I'm grateful she even wants to be around a broken man like me.

Muse sounded angry this time, and a little sad. You aren't broken. You're you. And Harmony thinks so too. Don't put yourself down like that–you are one of the strongest and most intelligent people we've met in this world. Calling yourself broken isn't healthy.

Harlan studied the area through Muse's eyes, feeling confused, but happy. But, I am broken. I can't see or walk without using my mana for help; I can't talk to others comfortably; and I don't understand the world. Isn't that…broken? 

No more broken than I am, as a still-living piece of someone else's soul, Muse responded. I don't even know how I came to be born, I just…existed, one day. I grow older, I never learn new magic, and I never had parents, unless you count Harmony as my parent, although she's more like the sisters I've seen. I have to hide who I am, too–but for Harmony's sake, not for mine. Humans don't approve of things that are different, until they get used to them. But they can. It just takes time.  

Harlan pondered this. He sat down on a large boulder and fiddled with a cat's cradle string he took from his pack, looping the string around, over, under, up, down, sliding them easily. He watched the soldiers unpack and set up the tents, wondering if he should go help them; it would be difficult, but he could probably at least help hold a tent-peg or something… But Neil definitely wouldn't let him. Harlan smiled ruefully. Neil always made a fuss about serving Harlan; all of his servants always had, really. They didn't like Harlan acting 'below his station'. 

He glanced over towards the carriage; Harmony had climbed out and had walked behind a few trees; from this angle, he could see she was brushing herself off. She pulled something out of her pocket and tapped her clothes with it, and they shuddered, something falling off them. He wanted to see more, but Muse's eyes turned away. She's cleaning herself, Muse said. Don't watch, she would be embarrassed. It was Harlan's turn to feel embarrassed. Sorry, he thought back. I didn't realize.

Muse's eyes turned back; Harmony was coming out from behind the trees, looking refreshed and clean. Harlan felt very curious how she had done that, but decided not to ask. Instead, he stood up and turned away from the camp. The high desert-wall was further away, now; it was just a high, golden line on the horizon, and the sea was not visible either. The rolling green hills and scattered trees sloped downward to the south, and up to the north, the way they'd come; he could see the darkness of the forest, which was tall enough to still be visible beyond the wide grassy plain they had traveled over, today. A few large animals dotted the hills; some tan, some dark brown or black. They appeared to be some kind of docile plant eater; they moved slowly, grazing as they went, in widely spaced groups of two or three.

Muse's eyes swept upwards, then; a massive column of black smoke stood ahead of them, far ahead, and far below. It billowed skyward, slowly dissipating as it rose. It appeared to be coming from a valley somewhere; Harlan couldn't see the source. What is that? That must be what Neil asked me about. Muse was oddly silent. Harlan felt a touch of fear. He wondered why Muse, who usually had an answer for everything, didn't respond. But he decided to wait and see what Neil reported. He walked carefully over to the tent set up for him and laid down on his bedroll to rest for a bit; removing Muse and setting her on the ground. He was tired from the long drive; in a few minutes he was asleep.