25 By the Sea

This chapter is dedicated to (David Aderoju).

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The sea. The waves caressing the ear. A bright blue sky with snow-white clouds. The wind that should have caressed my hair, but didn't. A paradox. If you looked closely, you could see that the clouds were not floating across the sky. The waves repeated over and over again, reaching a certain line of the shore. There was no smell of the sea in the air. Everything I saw, everything around me, was a fantasy, an illusion of the mind that gives itself away when you look and think.

Quite an interesting effect. My being here was a surprise. My attempt to put the princess to sleep ended with me falling into the very depths of her mind.

It was a very unexpected picture that I never expected to see in the girl's mind. Peaceful, calm, warm. It was surprising that Azula had such vivid memories of this place in the back of her mind. Back then she was just a baby, knowing nothing about the world she was born into. Her entire family was holidaying on a coal island back then.

However, someone didn't seem to notice the falseness in the place around us.

Turning my head, I saw the dancing princess. The girl was dozens of metres away from me, and was actively dancing a strange dance. The only thing missing was the music. Yes, without it, the dance is not so colourful. And dressed in the armour of fire did not give her beauty either. Making sharp lunges, circular movements, and kicks in the air, the girl did not take her frown away from me. Good girl. Quickly guessed my identity.

- Great dance," I praised Azula, who began to look at her own hands in confusion.

Of course, it wasn't a dance, but an attempt at fire magic and lightning conquest. Except the place we were both in had different rules. I wonder how quickly she'll figure it all out? Watching her get angry trying to figure out a subject she was unfamiliar with was always amusing. Any failures, hurt the princess's ego a lot.

- Why isn't it working? What have you done to my magic? - Looking at her menacing gaze, I smiled cheekily. She's so predictable.

- Nothing.

- You're lying! - The princess doesn't believe me, boiling with anger.

- No," I continue to bring out the capricious girl with my calm demeanour. It was kind of funny.

- ...

We stared into each other's eyes. The tension was building. Azula slowly got into a close combat stance. What a fool she is after all...

- Don't you get it? - I stopped the girl who was ready to attack with a few words. The princess froze in place, scrutinising my appearance. She was ready to start a fight at any moment, but she restrained herself. She doesn't understand. I'll have to chew her up.

- Magic is closely related to the physical body and vital energy Qi. Didn't I already tell you that?

- What's that got to do with it?

- Look around, don't you find this place a little strange? Not natural? It's like an illusion or..." I paused, letting my companion listen to her feelings and look at the sandy beach with the sea and the sky. She's not so stupid, she should know. My expectations were not in vain.

- A dream? Am I dreaming?

- Bravo, quick guess. But no, I don't think it's an ordinary dream, more like a very old memory that hasn't been perfectly preserved. Take a closer look, you know this place," after listening to me speak, Azula cautiously looks around. Her golden eyes slowly began to gleam with recognition.

- Coal Island...

- Yes. Once upon a time, your entire family used to holiday in this place. Your fondest memories associated with this place. Remember when Zuko was almost swept away by the ocean? Dad had to dive in after him and then perform CPR. Mum grabbed you in her arms, holding you tight against her chest. And you... You were a child who didn't know what was going on. You were a child who didn't know what was going on," she said, sensing her concern, and you began to sob, not really knowing why, "I'm getting carried away, but Azula's memory is coming back. But it also allows you to understand the girl as best you can.

- It's..." the girl's face becomes more sombre. She remembered it as I remembered it. She was uncomfortable with such memories, they depressed her. I, on the other hand, took them calmly, like a recently watched film.

- They're my memories," she replied in a falsely menacing voice, still standing in a comfortable position, whether to attack, attack or dodge.

- Yes. Shall we sit down? We have a long conversation to have," I sit down on the sand without waiting for her response, looking out towards the endless sea.

Azula was a bit taken aback by my reckless behaviour, and didn't understand what the catch was. My reckless behaviour simply threw her off balance. Yes, after the last time we met, this behaviour is strange, the girl thought she had killed me. And here I am suggesting we sit on the sand and talk about something. She doesn't even realise the pointlessness of conflict in this place. It takes these geniuses a long time to figure things out.

- Let me dispel your foolish intentions of attacking me and beating answers out of me. Neither you nor I can hurt each other now. You hear the wind, but you don't feel it. You see the sun, but you don't feel its heat. You see the sea, but you don't smell it. Now only our minds or souls are here, whatever you prefer to call our states. The bodies, with all the mundane things, are left in the real world. We won't be able to hurt each other," I explain to the girl, once again disrupting her plans with my words. The power of words is great, but it only worked because of the girl's confusion. No matter how hard she tried to remain calm, I could see right through her.

- You didn't have to bite me," I commented on the girl's actions, who decided to test my words by biting her own hand. Her doubt-filled gaze flickered back to me.

- Okay, let's talk," Azula sits down gently a few metres away from me, keeping her gaze on my figure, "Where did you get my memories from?!

- It's a consequence of your actions.

- What?

- I'm saying, you're the one who gave me all your memories, skills and blue flames. Thank you for such a generous gift.

- What? How is that possible?!

- That's a little funny, but I thought it would be easier.

- Stop talking in riddles! You remind me of my uncle, it's annoying, - I could see the displeasure in her eyes. What's wrong? I know her better than I know myself, why is she so dumb? Maybe it's the meeting and the setting? Or has she changed so much since my fake murder?

- Don't be silent! - The cranky princess keeps pushing.

This is going to be a long conversation.

- Maybe you should stop acting emotionally and use your brain. Come on, you're capable of it. We both know that. Just chill out, and think. What did you do to me that could have led to this? - I'm giving her the fattest hint possible. Azula continued to look at me, understanding lit up in her eyes. She turned back to the sea in silence.

For a while we looked at the sea in silence. The conversation somehow ended on its own. And our communication was very strange. Azula did not act as I had hoped. She said the wrong words, asked the wrong questions. Lately, she's almost always been acting out of character, out of style. It was as if she'd had an event in her life that made her reassess her values. And it did happen.

I was glad that my "death" did not pass for the princess without a trace. She didn't care about me. She was very sorry for her deed, but she could not understand herself. She didn't know what to say or how to continue the conversation. It's amazing how easy it is for me to read a girl's emotions from the smallest movements of her body. However, I know this from our shared memories, but all of Azula's actions told me that my thoughts were correct.

The silence was dragging on. With her legs tucked under her, she lowered her head to her knees as she continued to stare at the sea. The memories of her happy childhood were depressing her. She wanted to leave, but she resisted her urges with all her might. It was a good thing Azula calmed down so easily. Without the hormonal teenage boom that was left in her body, emotions are much easier to control. I know it well, corporeal creatures can't have tantrums.

I should probably start with me, she'd never do that. After all, she has absolutely no experience with social interaction.

- How do you know who you're looking at? - I decided to start from afar. The girl gave me a hostile look.

- A voice.

- A voice?

- Yes, a voice. Despite your unfamiliar appearance, I remembered your voice perfectly well, as soon as I heard you, I was finally convinced of your identity. And even before that I suspected your survival, - answered the girl's quiet voice, devoid of any emotion.

- By the way, about your appearance. Why do you look so much like me? I see in you the features of a young father, a brother, and my own. It's like we're brother and sister. Does it also have something to do with my actions? - Azula finishes by being active in the conversation.

- Good girl, you make a good point. When you decided to infuse me with your Qi, it had some interesting consequences... - after which I recount what happened to me.

At the same time, I finally decided to give her another chance, and told her a bit more than was necessary. Still, after looking at her memory, I felt sorry for the girl. I felt good in her company, even if I knew she was lying. Giving Azula a chance, I told her a lot of things. My transformation, my desires, the small changes, getting all her memories and skills. How I had watched her from the outside, how I had gained a body and become a full spirit. How I practised my powers on her team. In short, I recounted almost everything that had happened to me lately. I talked and talked while the princess listened in silence, continuing to stare at the sea.

All this I did to demonstrate my trust in the girl. Of course, she understood much more from what I said, having guessed many things on her own. Having finished my little speech that answered her question in detail, the conversation fell into silence again. Azula pondered every scrap of information I had given her. After which she asked abruptly:

- Are you satisfied? - I heard Azula's quiet voice after a few minutes of silence. The girl had clearly guessed about the not-so-accidental storm and the monster's attack. She took it calmly, too calmly. However, we both know she doesn't care about the fate of her ship's crew.

- Do you? - I smile a little wider, our eyes meeting. She takes the hint; she was ready to kill me herself. Azula averts her gaze back to the sea.

Silence was my answer. Despite our short time together, and our strained acquaintance, we now understood each other without words. Once the girl had calmed down, talking became a little easier. It was still the right decision to try to put her to sleep, avoiding hysteria and subsequent damage to her personality and body.

- Did it hurt? - she asked, and I knew what she was talking about.

- Yes... it was like being boiled in a boiling cauldron, completely paralysed and mute.

- Why?

- Why what?

- Why did you refuse to serve me? I-- No, just answer me, why? - and I know she wanted it badly, very badly. Too bad Azula was too impulsive.

- I don't want to serve you. I don't want to serve anyone. Could it be pride, or could it be something else? I don't know everything, but I hate the idea of being beneath you. I was happy with what I had. I knew that in time, I could realise everything I'd set my mind to. But you decided to take far more than I was willing to give you, overstepping everything between us. I was lucky that the effect of your prank was positive, it only made me stronger. Thanks again for that.

- Pfft..." she looked away and shut up. The girl wasn't feeling well right now. Most of my actions were shaking up her picture of the world. And my reinforcement of her attempted murder made her clench her teeth tightly together, out of indignation and experienced joy that was so disgusting to Azula, but the girl quickly calmed down.

After being silent for a bit and looking at the waves, she continues.

- What's next? What are you going to do to me? I won't have the strength to resist you now," her voice was filled with doom and yet calmness at the same time. Indeed, Coal Island is a magical place. Or was it the fact that she didn't have access to hormones, experiencing emotions in an underwhelming way?

- It is what it is. We can continue our confrontation until one of us is finally gone and the winner is left alone. Or we can start over. Forgive each other and move on with our common goals.

- A fresh start? Common goals? What common goals can we have?

- Yes, at the beginning. I'd like to slap you on the arse for misbehaviour, but in your current state, that would be too harsh. We'll find common ground. The same power. You've grown much stronger since we met, as have I. But, of course, there's more to it than that.

- A spanking on the arse? - "How vulgar, not even my parents have ever laid a hand on me. Who do you think you are, to say such words in the face of the princess of the strongest country in the world!

- I know, but you should have. Some of your behaviour as a child should have been punished more severely. Maybe then you could have been raised to be a decent person, not a travesty that gets hysterical when you don't get what you want," she said, pressing her lips tightly together at such impertinent words, and with one contemptuous glance, expressing all her emotions without any unnecessary verbiage. However, we both knew - my words were true.

- Enough of the past. It is in the present that the future is forged. What do you think of my suggestion that we leave the past behind and move forward? Together we can do better than alone.

- What do I think? Are you kidding me? Why are you acting like this? Like this! I have no words to describe your insolence. It's always pissed me off! - The princess started to get excited, but her fervour began to dissolve in front of her eyes.

- Azula, I don't have much experience with social interactions either. So let's be calm at least in this place. I know how weak and defenseless you feel. I know how much you don't like it. I also know how you've missed and regretted your choice, every night feeling lonely and cold. We both know you missed me. Someone to talk to about anything. You can't even be honest with your mates, let alone the rest of your staff.

- Don't talk as if you know me," the princess snapped at me, flinching at my arguments.

I do know you, and I know you better than anyone else in the world.

- Azula, it's time to face the truth. You don't want to hurt me at all, and you regret your actions. Look at me. Please look at me, it's not that hard," I got what I wanted and saw tears welling up in her eyes. What is it? Is it my looks?

- It's disgusting. Why do I feel so calm? - The princess ogles in surprise. - As soon as I get angry with you, I almost immediately lose the urge to say everything I think to your face, finding it a pointless waste of time and energy! Such indifference, it's so disgusting," she removes a couple of tears and calms down again.

- The body has a strong influence on the mind, you're thinking clearly now. Crystal clear. Emotions are fading fast. And what you feel is like going through a filter. You can't experience the full range of all emotions in this place, just crumbs of them. I felt something like that all the time, being a spirit, you can get used to it," I explained to the girl, smiling a somewhat sad smile.

- Is that why you wanted a body so badly? No wonder, such a disgusting condition.... - Azula examines her hands again.

- I know, what about my proposal? Let's put it behind us and start over? - I turn to her, feeling that this is the best moment.

- I..." Azula hesitantly stammered, not knowing what to say, "I'm willing to listen to you....

- Good, we have a lot to talk about. First of all, take my hand," I say, holding out my open palm to her.

- Do I have to? - The princess answers warily, not even thinking of taking my hand.

- Yes. Don't be afraid, nothing bad will happen. But it would be better if you hug me from the back," I continue to insist, realising that if this prickle doesn't make a move to meet me, my attempts will be stopped by her prickliness.

- A hug? Why? What are you trying to achieve with such strange requests? - Azula doesn't understand, unable to trust me even in such a small thing. Yes, it's difficult, but I chose this path, and I want to walk it with her. No matter how hard it is to walk it.

- Trust, I want your trust. I can tell you everything about me. Absolutely everything. There's no hurry in this place. Time runs differently. But please, hold me," I won't stop trying to build trust between us.

- You're starting to annoy me again," Azula says coldly, turning around to face the sea. No one said it would be easy. On the contrary, with a princess, everything will always be difficult. And the sea is so beautiful...

We're silent, sitting there, each thinking about something else.

- It's such a small thing. It's like a painful grip, like twisting the neck or strangling. You just have to-" I stop, feeling the girl's hands timidly wrap around my neck.

Wow... what a nice surprise.

- Are you happy? - her voice sounds very close to me. It oozes with such unusual notes, shyness, shyness, uncertainty, all of it made Azula's voice so enchanting and soft. I didn't realise her voice could be so pleasing to the ear.

- ... It's more pleasant than I thought. Ahem. Not so much," I relax completely and trust her hands, resting my head on the girl's shoulder. She may have overdone it a bit with the strength of her grip, but even so it was a beautiful result! Azula was even more confused by my actions and simply didn't know what to do. I was enjoying our mental closeness, feeling the trust building between us. Fragile, delicate, easily broken, but trust nonetheless.

- See? It wasn't that hard, but it felt good. A common interaction that people use to show their support, joy or other emotions. It's moments like that when you realise you're not alone in the world. Together is always easier than alone. Does that feel good to you? - I ask the girl, trying to find her eyes to look into them, but all I see is her hair in a hairstyle. Azula turns away to the other side, just to avoid meeting my gaze. How sweet.

- Did you forget, our emotions are muted? Or is that not the case with you? - I heard the girl's uncertain reply.

- That's right, I'd like to replicate our embrace in the real world, with my own body and full access to emotions. Would you? Would you like to hug me? - I was enjoying the pleasure of making such a significant progress in our relationship.

- Well..." she said uncertainly, playing with a lock of her own hair, "I guess? I don't know. I think we wanted to talk about something else. You were talking about common goals? - not knowing what to do in such intimate matters, she just picks up the subject. I'm not going to push my luck and insist on my own just yet.

- Right, first you need to calm down completely, - I decide not to dump this information on her so sharply. It's better to prepare the girl for such revelations.

- Calm down?

- Yes, it will concern the future of your people, you, your father. Allow me. - I easily break out of her embrace, gently taking her hand, looking into the girl's eyes. Concerned.

- Okay, I'm calm, talk to me.

- The avatar will be back this year...