Love in Danger chapter 22: Confusion

Katara was lying in the same position she had been since Long Feng left. It was the following day or at least it probably was. So much time had passed Katara felt as if she had been up all night.

It's not as if she would have been able to sleep even if it had been hours since she had lost the energy to cry. She was still boiling with hatred, hate for Long Feng and for her own weakness. More than anything she hated how much his words were able to get to her. It was obvious he was trying to tear her down in order to frighten her into submission. It was a dirty tactic and the worst part of all was that it had worked.

As much as she tried to push it out of her mind Katara couldn't help but fixate on what Long Feng had said about her mother.

If it wasn't for her, she might still be alive. If it wasn't for her Kya might still be alive. Ever since Katara had found out Kya died to protect her from Yon Rha this thought had been in her head. No in reality it had been there ever since the event itself. She had always felt a certain responsibility for her mother's death. She had always wondered what she could have done differently. Maybe if she had found her dad before going back to the hut, or hadn't agitated Yon Rha by going in herself, maybe if she had refused to leave when Yon Rha told her to, maybe if she had just done anything different her mother wouldn't have died. And now she knew the only reason the raid had happened in the first place was so the Fire Nation could kill the last Southern Waterbender. She brought the danger to her home and was too young and helpless to protect her mother. Aang had told her she shouldn't blame herself; she shouldn't focus on it but she couldn't help it. The same way Aang blamed his absence for the genocide of his people Katara blamed herself for her mother's death.

Now she had brought more danger to her family. Sokka was almost killed, a trap was being set for Aang, her own children were being held hostage. Once again, she was at the center of the danger and powerless to do anything. She wanted more than anything to ignore the fear she felt, as she always had and take on the entire Dai Li herself so that Aang wouldn't even need to bother trying to save her. Sadly, she couldn't get the motivation up. The fear in her heart was different than any she had ever known. Before she was always able to easily risk her life because it was for the sake of the people, she loved but now there were other lives tied directly to hers. Risking her life was no longer brave and selfless, it was negligent; when she had found out she was pregnant she promised she would do whatever it takes to protect her babies.

She tried to convince herself otherwise, tell herself it was worth the risk, that if worst came to worst, she and Aang could always have more kids. Long Feng had known the right cards to play though; associating risking her babies' lives with her mother's death, mocking her maternal instincts and insecurities. As much as part of her believed the best thing to do was try to break out anyway every bone in her body resisted any action that would threaten her unborn children. She couldn't help it. All she could do was sit there and wait for Aang to come save her like she was still the same helpless child she w00as when Yon Rha came. She had to pray Aang wouldn't fall for Long

Feng's trap and would be able to save her without her help. And she hated herself for it.

There was a creaking sound. Katara jerked her head towards the door. It was opening. As it slid to the side, she expected to see Long Feng again but it wasn't him. She didn't recognize the man. He looked like a generic Dai Li agent and he was carrying a metal tray.

"Breakfast" the man said gruffly.

Breakfast? Katara thought. I guess it is morning. It was impossible to tell the time inside the cell, it was always the same degree of dark. Katara groaned at the realization. Staying up all night can't be good for the babies but how am I supposed to sleep here? She felt an unpleasant rumbling in her stomach as she thought about it.

The man set the tray down on the floor. Before Katara could examine its contents, he walked over to her holding some keys. With an absent-minded look on his face, he began unlocking her shackles. This was a big surprise to Katara, she had been bound all night and the guard didn't seem to think anything of releasing her. She remembered stories Hama had told her of how Waterbenders were carefully restrained and kept away from water at all times in Fire Nation jails. The comparative lack of care exercised by this guard was unusual.

"Really you're going to unlock me just like that?" Katara asked mockingly.

The guard didn't even bother to look up. He lazily replied, "Long Feng said it wouldn't matter because you won't try to escape anyway."

That felt like a punch right in the stomach. Long Feng was making fun of her, releasing her just to show how confident he was in his control. As the cuffs opened Katara immediately started rubbing her sore wrists. She hated being confined and mocked, but she couldn't deny it felt nice being able to move around more. As soon as she started moving, she immediately wrapped her arms around her stomach. The rumbling hadn't subsided, she still felt nauseated.

She looked over at the food tray and became even more annoyed. The dish that Long Feng had undoubtedly handpicked for her was a steaming bowl of soup. Something like that would be so easy for her to use as a weapon if she chose. He might as well have left the door wide open to taunt her with the fact that she wouldn't dare walk out of it.

Someone else entered the room. Katara was again apprehensive of another visit from Long Feng. She did recognize the man but it was someone else; jing. Katara's; anxiety faded a bit; of all the people in the Dai Li to deal with he would be the easiest to tolerate. He was carrying something under his arm. It looked like a padded mattress or futon of some kind.

"Long Feng wishes to apologize for last night's unpleasant accommodations," jing explained. What he said sounded more rehearsed than anything. Katara didn't feel like he was doing a good job of conveying the mocking tone Long Feng pictured him with. "From now on we will be gracious hosts"

He calmly began unrolling the mattress on the floor.

Katara replied sarcastically, "Oh what you're going to be nice now so I'll behave?"

jing repeated more clearly scripted words. "A miscarriage would be disadvantageous for all of us. We don't want our hostage to be lost through natural means. We'll ensure your comfort and the health of the baby. You'll find that soup to be filled with healthy plants."

Katara sighed. Like the loosening of her shackles this was a relief even if she knew Long Feng

had his own reasons for doing it. She had been worried how her confinement would affect the children's health. At the very least now there was less urgency to her escape.

"I don't know why we're wasting so much time taking care of one prisoner" said the other guard with annoyance as he took away the chains and slung them over his shoulder.

"She's a valuable prisoner" jing answered simply as he continued making the bed. "She's instrumental to our victory."

The other guard scoffed. "Still, I say leave her here to rot; that'd be a nice site for the Avatar to see." jing didn't reply.

Katara was becoming annoyed. She glared at the guard. He must have noticed this because he addressed her this time. "What you think you deserve all this special treatment?"

Katara retorted, "I don't think I deserve to be locked up like a criminal." Her stomach kept bubbling and feeling very uncomfortable.

The guard laughed, "Really? I'd say you've done plenty to deserve it."

Katara's anger grew. "You Dai Li guys think you're so great but you know what I think…" Suddenly the bubbling feeling in her stomach overwhelmed her and vomit exploded from her mouth, covering the guard's feet. Apparently, she hadn't just been stressed; she had morning sickness. As she wiped her mouth Katara added, "Actually that was a pretty good way to put it."

The guard looked furious. He pulled his foot back and prepared to kick her. "Now you've done it you little…"

Suddenly jing pushed himself between the guard and Katara. "Physical abuse could cause a miscarriage. We're not supposed to touch her unless she tries to escape" he reminded.

"Look at my shoes!" the guard demanded. "They're ruined."

"She has morning sickness it's normal for pregnant women" jing countered.

"Yeah right!" the guard shouted. He looked at Katara. "You did this on purpose didn't you? I swear I'm gonna…"

"You're not going to do anything Long Feng doesn't order you to" jing interrupted. "Now go."

The guard reluctantly turned around. "You should be careful woman. That spunk is gonna get you killed one day."

He left the room. jing walked over to the wall and pressed his hand on it. A section slid away and revealed a small door. "This is the bathroom" he calmly said. "You can relieve or wash yourself whenever you chose." He turned towards the bathroom door. "Oh right" He walked through the bathroom door then returned holding a cloth and bowl of water. Without complaint he went to work cleaning the vomit from the floor.

Katara watched him with utter confusion. Nothing in his voice, or for that matter his actions sounded like he was addressing an enemy. Everything about this man confused her. Before she realized she was even speaking Katara asked, "Why do you keep doing that?"

jing suddenly stopped his cleaning motions. He sounded confused. "Doing what?" he asked without looking up.

"Why do you keep helping me?" Katara clarified.

jing sounded caught off guard but he kept staring at the floor. "I'm just doing what Long Feng says." He went back to the floor but his attention wasn't fully on it.

Katara's had been confused throughout this encounter but this time her reply felt obvious and came to her quickly. "You didn't obey his orders at the Jasmine Dragon. You let me live. Why?

jing gripped the towel very strongly. Apparently, he felt the floor was adequately clean because he stood up, took the supplies and headed for the cell door. "Someone will be by in a few hours with your next meal. You'll get three squares a day. If you get thirsty there's a sink in the bathroom, we pump clean spring water into."

He walked through the door. His evasive answer made Katara even more curious. Before he managed to close the door she shouted, "Why did you let me live…jing? That's your name, right? jing why did you let me live?"

jing hesitated in closing the door for a second. He didn't look at Katara but quietly replied, "Just worry about yourself and your baby."