2 0002 - Me IRL: Dies, Gets Reincarnated, Chooses Laziness Over Superpowers.
"Your first task is to find out the whereabouts of sinners, the souls like you who escaped their judgments." The Horse Head Guard spelled out each word at a time as his eyes sharply observed the expression of the fat human. If he found any hope of escaping in this human's eyes then he would drag him again and cast him in fire and no one would be able to stop him this time.
Seeing no such hope of defiance in the eyes the Horse Guard eased up.
"Now touch the feet of this statue and you will get your first targets."
The fat human, on his knees, slowly dragged his knees and came in between both Horse and Bull guard. He looked up at the statue, it was an egregious statue of a naked female, she was arrogantly beautiful. He touched her feet and a flood of information invaded his mind with a jolt of thunder.
Information forced filled his mind with a sharp pain, it was as torturous as the heat near the fiery cliff.
"Do you understand now?" The Horse Guard emotionlessly asked.
Breathing heavily, he struggled to make sense of the overwhelming flood of information forced into his mind. The Horse Head Guard's voice snapped him back as he nodded.
"Your task is only to find where these souls are hiding and then inform us, rest we will do." The Horse Guard reminded him of his task priority again.
"Human, if you do this task well then you will be rewarded too. Here take this and write down what you think you need to fulfill this task." The Bull Head guard finally spoke and gave him a paper and brush to write down his requirements.
He took the paper but was not sure what would help him.
"That is the Paper of Karma. Whatever you write on it will come true for you when you leave out of here. So choose wisely," the Bull Head Guard clarified.
Sensing the confusion on the fat human's face he continued, "If you desire strength, write strength. If wealth is what you seek, inscribe wealth. Long life, multiple wives, slaves, armies, even knowledge, skills, and talents—whatever you wish for can be obtained with this Paper of Karma. Write down whatever will ease your task." The Bull Head spoke with a calm and informative tone.
His eyes lit up at the prospect of having women, wealth, long life, slaves, armies, skills, talents, and more. He cannot believe this will be true if he only needs to write it down on this piece of paper.
However, he believed it because he wanted to believe it.
Also, the idea of finally experiencing the company of women stirred something within him. Being overweight and bald in his previous life, he had struggled with relationships, and the fact that he died a virgin weighed heavily on his conscience. The Paper of Karma seemed like an opportunity to erase that guilt and fulfill his desires.
"Do not get happy, if you do not show any progress then we will take away all in a blink of an eye so focus on what you need for the task." The Horse Guard did not like the happy expression of the fat human after hearing he could write anything on the Paper of Karma.
He scratched his bald head with his fat fingers and calmed his mind to think about what he needed most. His gaming mind raced with ideas, cheats filled his thoughts and an inspiration struck his mind.
In his life, people always made fun of him for not being able to do things well on his own. Even in games, he had to use cheat codes or hacks to feel like he achieved something. Whether using cheats is right or wrong is a debate, but for him now, the main concern was avoiding the fiery fate waiting for him.
"What are you waiting for? Are you so useless that you can't even perform the simple task of choosing what is good for you? You want others to do all the tasks for you?" The Horse Guard barked.
"Others to do tasks for me?" Another spark of inspiration hit him as looked at the Paper of Karma with hope. "Please let this work." He prayed. He quickly picked up the brush to write.
"Quickly write or else the paper will shrink ever more." The Bull Head quickly warned.
"What? Paper is shrinking?" He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't realize that the paper was shrinking and it was already more than half gone. He panicked and completely forgot what to write. "What? What was I about to write?" He screamed inside that why didn't you tell me about it at the start?
"Write quickly! We don't have another Paper of Karma for a Trash like you!" The Horse Guard also warned.
"YES! Yes!" He quickly wrote down his desires, true to his personality of seeking easy cheats, hacks, Power of a System, and wish fulfillment—dreaming of effortlessly achieving everything all at once. Be lazy to the core.
The Paper of Karma stopped vanishing as it stopped at the edges of his written words.
"What is this?" The Horse Guard snatched the words from the fat fingers of the human.
"You wasted such a precious Paper of Karma on some trashy words? What is this? What does it even mean!!? What is this Automated System? Where are the thousands of slaves, armies, domineering power, or knowledge!? Where is inexhaustible wealth? YOU!... " The Horse Head Guard was now genuinely mad as if everything before was all an act.
"Calm Down! Brother Horse! This is the fate, the Paper of Karma has been used, whatever bargain he has chosen his self knows best, the fruits of the Karma will be delivered." The Bull Head Guard turned and looked at the fat human with pity.
"I hope you have chosen your words wisely or else, I would not be able to help any further. Now Sleep, when you wake up, fulfill the task as per the information we have given you. I hope you will not disappoint us."
The words of the Bull Head Guard suddenly felt like a lullaby, inducing sleep as all the pain, heat, and discomfort left him. He struggled to keep his eyes open but eventually succumbed, falling to the ground.
"Brother Bull, you have chosen very unwisely. This is the worst one we are sending this time." The Horse Head Guard now spoke with a calm voice, as if his earlier anger and rage were all an act.
"We've sent the best prospects, but they all failed or betrayed us the moment they found an opportunity. This human is particularly fearful, simple-minded, and exceptionally lazy. He will never try to defy us, and even if he does, his lazy personality will lead to mistakes. We'll take advantage of those mistakes to keep him employed as long as possible. Our act of carrot and stick will always work on him. Let's hope before the Yama Sovereign comes out of his seclusion, we will be able to catch all the escapees and traitors."
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"What? Where? Who?" He suddenly woke up panting as if he was in a nightmare. Sweat dripped from his fat cheeks as he wiped his face with his sleeve.
"I am still, me?" He found he was still as fat as he was. He quickly touched his head and found relief because he was not bald. "But, I am younger now."
[Welcome Host.]
"Whoa!" a screen popped up in front of his eyes like he was in some VR game.
"So that was not a nightmare? That was all true?" He wanted that all to be lies but the screen in front of him is not lying to him. "I really died and escaped the punishment of hell." He wanted to cry about his predicament, but he also felt relieved to have escaped from hell.
He thanked the unknown god he never prayed to for his escape and this newfound opportunity.
"System? Er…what kind of System are you?" He quickly asked before he could examine his new memories.
[Host, you used only 10% of the Paper of Karma, you had deep desires for women, wealth, servants, talents, skills, and knowledge but you chose laziness over all of it. The word you wrote on the Paper of Karma has manifested me as your true wish, an Automated System.]
"Automated System? What can you do? Please tell me everything about yourself." He ignored the backhanded ridicule by his own System on his love for laziness.
[As my name suggests, I am an Automated System. I can automate anything for you as long as you have the proper comprehension of the task you want it to be automated.]
"WHOA! Whaaat? A CHEAT! I Got a CHEAT! A HACK! I won the Cheat Lottery! Wait a minute! What do you mean by proper comprehension?"
[Proper comprehension means you must have a clear understanding and knowledge of the task you want me to automate. For example, if you want me to automate cooking a dish, you should have a basic understanding of the ingredients, processes, and techniques involved in cooking that dish. I can then take over your body and execute the task based on your knowledge. However, you cannot blame me for mistakes in the recipe.]
"Cheat Lottery indeed! This is better than any cheat code in any game I ever played! So, what else can you do?"
[Host, I have access to your mind so I can also provide information, and answer questions based on your knowledge & memories. It will help you enhance your learning speed, and assist you in learning various tasks. However, my capabilities are limited to what you already know or can comprehend. Please do not be lazy in learning or else we both will be useless.]
"So, the more I know, the more cheats I get. Interesting! Can you tell me about my current situation, the world, and other things?"
[Yes, Host, you are in the body of Lu Sheng, your new body. He is the fat punching bag of everyone, people love bullying you. Yesterday, you stood up to the bullying and a challenge match is due today against Lu Zhan, your local bully.]
"What? I would have to fight? You can help me fight, right? You can, right?" He asked eagerly, hope mixed with anxiety in his eyes as the memories of him getting bullied by Lu Zhan flashed in front of his eyes.
[Host. We both are in the same boat now. Please use me wisely.]
System's words assured him as his cheating gamer mind started to work.
