three days before

Think New York trendy. Think black. Think sensible. Comfortable, yet warm.

That was what Takumi had told Austin the Colonel had said. It was prank time, which meant...well, prank time.

Austin followed after Miles, Chip and Takumi to the Eagle's house.

"I'm taking Miles, Takumi and Austin home for the weekend to New Hope." The Colonel told him.

"Miles like his taste of New Hope that much?" The Eagle asked.

"Yee haw! There's a gonna be a hoedown at the trailer park!" Chip replied. He could really turn that southern accent on and off like a light switch.

"Hold on a moment while I call your mom." The Eagle replied.

Takumi and Miles both looked like they were going to be sick with panic. Austin knew this was coming, were they really doubting the Colonel?

"Sure thing." Chip replied.

"Chip, Miles, Takumi and Austin will be at your house this weekend?" The Eagle asked Chip's mom on the phone. "Yes, ma'am...Ha...Okay. Bye now." The Eagle looked at Chip. "Your mom is a wonderful woman."

"You're tellin' me." Chip replied. "See you on Sunday."

"I called her yesterday and asked her to cover for me. She didn't even ask why. She just said, 'I sure do trust you son' and hot damn she does." The Colonel told them as they made their way to the gym parking lot. Once out of sight of the Eagle's house, they made a sharp right into the woods.

They walked on the dirt road to the bridge and back to the school's barn, a dilapidated leak-prone structure that looked more like a long-abandoned log cabin than a barn. They still stored hay there, although nobody knew what for. The four of them had gotten their first, setting up their three sleeping bags on the softest bales of hay. It was 6:30.

Alaska was next, telling the Eagle she was staying with Jake. He didn't even bother to check that story anymore. Parents never cared. Lara showed up half an hour later, her story already being checked out.

Austin sat next to Takumi on their shared sleeping bag as Alaska smoked on hers.

"Uh, the place is flammable, Las." Austin reminded her. Alaska shrugged.

The Colonel pulled out piece of computer paper. "The point of this evening's festivities is to prove once and for all that we are to pranking what the Weekday Warriors are to sucking."

"Absolute Gods?" Austin asked.

The Colonel pointed at her. "Absolute Gods. We'll also have the opportunity to make life unpleasant for the Eagle, which is always a welcome pleasure. And so, we fight tonight a battle on three fronts: Front One: The Pre-Prank: We will, as it were, light a fire under the Eagle's ass. Front Two: Operation Baldy: Wherein Lara flies solo in a retaliatory mission so elegant and cruel that it could only have been the brainchild of, well, me."

"Hey!" Alaska interrupted. "It was my idea."

"Okay, fine. It was Alaska's idea. And finally, Front Three: The Progress Reports: We're going to hack into the faculty computer network and use their grading database to send out letters to Kevin et al's families saying that they are failing some of their classes." Chip continued.

"We're definitely going to get expelled." Pudge said.

"I hope you didn't bring the Asian kid along thinking he's a computer genius. Because I am not." Takumi said.

"We're not going to get expelled and I'm the computer genius. The rest of you are muscle and distraction. We won't get expelled even if we get caught." Chip replied.

"None of these are expellable offenses. Yet, anyway." Austin continued for him.

"Exactly. Well, except for the five bottles of Strawberry Hill in Alaska's backpack, and that will be well hidden. We're just, you know, wreaking a little havoc." The Colonel said.

They all had to have their parts down perfectly. One fuck up, they sunk like the Titanic. Each got their itineraries, planned down to the second. Their watches synchronized, clothes black, backpacks on, breath visible in the cold, minds filled with plan details, hearts racing, they all walked out of the barn together once it was completely dark.

Five minutes, give or take, they split up to go to their destinations. Miles stuck with Austin and Takumi. They were the distraction.

"We're the fucking marines." Takumi said. Austin smiled, shaking her head.

"First to fight. First to die." Miles agreed.

"Hell yes."

Takumi stopped, opening his bag.

"Not here, dude, we have to go to the Eagle's." Miles told him.

"I know. I know. Just- hold on."

"Babe, what are you doing?" Austin asked.

He pulled out a headband. It was brown with a plush fox head on the front.

"What the hell is that?" Miles asked.

"it's my fox hat." Takumi answered.

"Your fox hat?"

"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."

"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" Miles asked.

"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox." Takumi answered.

"I thought you only wore the fox hat when we were- never mind." Austin stopped herself, looking over at Pudge.

Two minutes later, they were crouched behind the trees fifty feet from the Eagle's back door.

"Thirty seconds." Takumi noted. They waited.

Miles started to breathe really hard next to Takumi.

"Hey, Pudge, you can do this, dude. It's just running." Takumi told him.

"Right." Miles replied.

"Five, Four. Three. Two. One. Light it. Light it. Light it." Takumi said.

It light, sizzling as they stood there.

"Go go go fucking go." Takumi yelled. He didn't have to tell Austin 'go' twice; she was gone.

Three seconds later, a huge burst of pops erupted behind them. It sounded like gunfire.

"Definitely heard that shit." Austin yelled, running.

They ran past the soccer field and into the woods, uphill with the vaguest sense of direction. Pudge fell a few times and struggled to keep up with Takumi, who ran behind Austin.

Takumi stopped, ripping the bag open again. Austin stopped too, a few steps ahead of them.

"Five four three two one." Miles ticked out fast. It sizzled and they didn't wait. They ran.

"Stop right now!" A voice yelled over the pops. They kept going.

"I'm the motherfucking fox." Takumi whispered. "No one can catch the fox."

"That's right, baby." Austin reassured. "Motherfucking fox."

Minute later, Miles was on the ground. Takumi counted. Fuse lit. They ran like hell.

They had prepared for one dud, and this was it. Takumi crouched, lighting another to do it again.

"Stop or I'll call the police." They heard after the pops.

"The pigs can't stop the fox; I'm too quick. I can rhyme when I run, I'm that slick." Takumi said.

This. This was what Austin lived for. The rush, the adrenaline and the bullshit Takumi said that just made her want to kiss him. But she kept running. They all did. They tripped, mumbled shit every time, got back up and ran. One minute. Miles knelt down, lit, ran, bang.

Keep going, keep fucking going.

"Drop one now." Takumi told Pudge when they realized their navigation mistake. They weren't past the lake; they were facing it.

"Shit." Austin mumbled.

Miles dropped one, lit it and they ran. The Eagle was close enough to see them now as they ran off.

"Fuck." Austin called as she noticed the swan. It swam ferociously at them. They all ran past it as best as they could.

String 23 was a dud, which costed them a minute. They were all slowing down considerably, their lungs burning. They hadn't heard or seen the Eagle since they'd gotten across the lake, but they weren't giving in now. Tonight, they were invincible.

Exhausted, they stopped with three strings left. They ran a few more minutes until they hit the bank of the creek. They lay in the wet clay, feeling like they were dying. Takumi was covered in scrapes and cuts on his face and arms and his fox head was directly over his left ear. Miles was bleeding from the deeper cuts and Austin was cut up with a whole bunch of twigs and leaves in her hair.

Takumi picked thorns out of his leg. "The fox is fucking tired."

"The swan bit my ass." Miles replied.

"Yeah, I saw. Is it bleeding?" Takumi asked, smiling.

Pudge reached his hand into his pants to check. Nope. He lit a cigarette to celebrate.

"Mission accomplished." He said.

"Pudge, my friend, we are indefuckingstructible. Baby, you already knew that."

Austin swatted a hand at him, her lungs burning too much now to talk. She was dying- how was Miles smoking after that?

"Left, you think?" Takumi asked.

"I'm pretty lost." Miles answered.

"The fox is point left. So left." Takumi said.

Sure enough, the fox led them right to the barn.

"You're okay!" Lara exclaimed excitedly. "I was worried. I saw the Eagle run out of hees house. He was wearing pajamas. He sure looked mad."

"Well, if he was mad then, I wouldn't want to see him now." Miles replied.

"What took you so long?" She asked.

"We took the long way home." Takumi answered. "Plus, Pudge is walking like an old lady with hemorrhoids because the swan bit him on the ass. Where's Alaska and the Colonel?"

"I don't know." Lara answered.

Then they hear footsteps, mutters and branches. Takumi moved quickly to throw their sleeping bags and backpacks behind bales of hay. The four of them ran to the back of the barn, hiding in the waist-high grass.

"Because it narrows the list of possible suspects by twenty-three! Why couldn't you just follow the plan? Christ, where is everybody." The Colonel's voice was heard.

Austin was up and in the barn first. "What the fuck did you do." She barked at her sister.

"Well, we haven't been caught yet, anyway. Okay, first, tell me everything else went all right. Lara?" Chip asked.

"Yes. Good." She answered.

"Can I have more detail, please?"

"I deed like your paper said. I stayed behind the Eagle's house until I saw heem run after Miles and Takumi, and then I ran behind the dorms. And then I went through the weendow into Keveen's room. Then I put the stuff een the gel and the conditioner and then I deed the same thing in Jeff and Longwell's room." She said.

"The stuff?" Miles asked.

"Undiluted industrial-strength blue number five hair dye, which I bought with your cigarette money. Apply it to wet hair and it won't wash out for months." Alaska answered. Austin was still glaring at her.

"We dyed their hair blue?" Miles asked.

"Well, technically, they're going to dye their own hair blue. But we have certainly made it easier for them. I know you three did all right, because we're here and you're here, so you did your job. And the good news is that the three assholes who had the gall to prank us have progress reports coming saying that they are failing three classes." The Colonel said.

"Bad news?" Austin asked, her glare still set on Alaska.

"Oh, come on, Austin." Alaska said to her sister. "The other good news is that while the Colonel was worried he'd heard something and ran into the woods, I saw to it that twenty other Weekday Warriors also have progress reports coming. I printed out reports for all of them, stuffed them into metered school envelopes, and then put them in the mailbox. You sure were gone for a long time. The wittle Colonel, scared of getting expelled."

"Are you fucking kidding, Alaska?" Austin asked. "Be fucking kidding."

"That is not good news! That was not in the plan! That means there are twenty-three people the Eagle can eliminate as suspects. Twenty-three people who might figure out it was us and rat!" Chip yelled.

"Might?" Austin asked. "After Alaska's room was flooded? They'll know."

"If that happens, I'll take the fall." Alaska said.

"Oh, please." Austin huffed.

"Right." Chip said. "Like you took the fall for Paul and Marya. You'll say that while you were traipsing through the woods lighting firecrackers you were simultaneously hacking into the faculty network and printing out false progress reports on school stationary? Because I'm sure that will fly with the Eagle."

"Relax, dude. First off, we're not gonna get caught. Second off, if we do, I'll take the fall with Alaska." Takumi said.

"Hold on." Austin interrupted.

Takumi ignored her. "You've got more to lose than any of us."

The Colonel just nodded.

Austin was still beyond pissed at Alaska. Why didn't she just print one for everybody?

"So how'd you hack into the network?" Pudge asked.

"I climbed in the window of Dr. Hyde's office, booted up his computer, and I typed in his password: J3ckylnhyd3." Chip answered. "I watched him type it on Tuesday."

"Well, shit. I could've done that." Takumi said.

"Sure, but you wouldn't have gotten to wear that sexy hat." The Colonel said, laughing. Takumi took it off, shoving it into his bag before wrapping an arm around Austin.

Kevin is going to be pissed about his hair." Miles said.

"Yeah, well, I'm pissed about my waterlogged library. Kevin is a blowup doll. Prick us, we bleed. Prick him, he pops."

"It's true." Takumi agreed. "The guy is a dick. He kind of tried to kill you, after all."

"Yeah, I guess. Pudge said.

"There are a lot of people here like that. You know? Fucking blowup-doll rich kids."

Alaska disappeared behind the piles of hay. She was done talking, which meant nothing was changing that. Not until the Colonel opened up their first bottle of shitty wine. Takumi took a swig, handing it to Austin, who did the same. She passed the bottle to Miles, turning to meet Takumi in a soft kiss.