Lamp Post

Raina was sitting on a bench by a lamp post outside, in the park she visited frequently. It was raining. She closed her eyes, and it's as she was being enveloped by nothing but static. She loved it, she loved this small bit of peaceful nothingness, but she can't just enjoy it. She can't enjoy it because she knows the small things in life are covered by the great responsibility of everything else, relationships, work, and even just getting up in the morning. Why can't she just be here forever? This sad thought ruminates in her mind. Why can't she? She comes back to reality for a moment, realizing she has been thinking again. She hates thinking.

Something breaks the silence, and it wasn't her thoughts this time. Her phone buzzes, she ignores it. It buzzes again, "huh..." She takes her phone out, it's her friend Sara asking about a get together they have been planning. She decides she'll reply later, she doesn't want to start a conversation right now... Or really ever. She felt bad about ignoring Sara, but she concluded that she didn't have the mental energy to talk to someone, and she didn't want her friend seeing her vulnerable.

Can she just enjoy the rain in peace? She's always thinking about how much she enjoys the quiet time to herself, but she never actually has a peaceful experience. It's like she is obsessed with the idea of these peaceful experiences, but forgets about the hindrances she faces when trying to reach this peace.

She gets up to take a walk. She followed the path of pavement that went around the small lake in the park. Things around her looked different, she wasn't sure why. The static sensation she experienced earlier hadn't gone away either. Her surroundings were covered in a black and white filter, although she thought it was just the darkness of the night affecting her vision. She was soaked by the rain at this point, she sort of enjoyed the sensation, though. 

"Hello." Raina heard the voice of a man, it was deep and soothing at the moment, clearly audible over the rain.

She unglued her eyes from the ground in front of her and looked up at the man, who looked to be younger than she expected. He was soaked as well, and devoid of color. They stood around the same height, but looked to be about the same age, although it was hard to tell at the time. Despite his condition, he appeared to be unphased by the fact that he was outside in the rain this late at night. The smile on his face created an almost uncanny aura. 

She held his gaze, waiting for him to say something else. After a moment, she asked the obvious question, "Why are you out here?" 

He held his unwavering expression, answering kindly, "I enjoy the rain."

He held nothing on him, no backpack, or even a phone it seemed. What is with him.. She was curious.

"Why don't we walk together?" He asked abruptly. She oddly didn't feel threatened or uncomfortable. Maybe it was just a lack of care, she thought. She nodded, agreeing with him. He walked off, and she followed next to him.

"Can I ask for your name?" She said as an attempt to get to know him, she was intrigued by someone so odd.

"Ben. What's yours?" He answered quickly. Her eyes wondered back onto his face, his smile made her happy. It was odd, it felt 'warm' to be talking to someone on one of her late night walks, normally meant to be for alone time. It had been so long since she had introduced herself to someone, she hasn't tried in years.

"My name is Raina. Are you not uncomfortable in the cold rain?" He didn't even have an umbrella.

"I could ask you the same thing, I guess. I still enjoy my time here, the cold doesn't bother me." Raina was surprised he was still completely unphased by the fact that they both happened to be out here like this. 

She offered to share her umbrella, although it wasn't very big. "I can carry it if you'd like." He said, already reaching to grab the wooden handle.

...

They talked for a while, she was comfortable with him. The conversation hadn't stopped, Ben seemed to have endless things to talk about. It was almost like he hadn't talked to anyone for years, and finally got the chance to let all of his ideas and curiosities spill. 

It was sudden, but her rationality had begun to kick in. The curiosity of the man and her tired delusions had faded, all in the blink of an eye. Why should I try to enjoy myself with someone when I have nothing to offer them anyway? They will just get bored. I can't get attached already, it'll give me hope. Her thoughts took over. She could feel the static sensation get stronger. The rain grew louder, the drops got bigger, she tunnel visioned. She opened her eyes. The static was gone. She was soaked, completely drenched by the rain. She was laying on her side, on the same bench she had left hours ago. She sat up, her right side was in pain from the hard wooden bench. She sat there for a minute, staring at the water droplets splashing into the lake. Where had the man gone? She thought it was just a dream. No one would be out at night completely soaked like that anyway.

Raina stood up, ready to go home. Her eyes darted around, looking for the umbrella she had been holding before she fell asleep. It was gone. She checked everywhere, under the bench, in her bag, 20 feet in every direction, even. There was nothing. Fuck, it must've blown off when I was sleeping. She tried to reason with herself, disappointed that she could've fallen asleep at such a time. She made her way back home, walking through the door drenched.

...

The second she shut her eyelids, she passed out. "I think you forgot something.." That voice was familiar. Raina opened her eyes to see Ben, holding out her umbrella in his hands.