Chapter 12 Tacenda

If you look at her closely you can see that, every now and then she turns away from her group of friends her smile disappears, and she becomes another person for a few seconds. A sad person. A person who is broken and damaged, and after a few depressing seconds, she goes back to the group, smiling and joking around. She almost looks as if she is actually happy but if you look at her closely you can see how fake her smile really is, and you can see all the wreckage behind her fake smile.

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Dirt

It's something that we are used to. There are many different feelings we obtain about it, like when you were younger. All you wanted to do was play with your friends out in the yard; play with the dirt and make mud castles from when it rained, or pick a flower from the ground to give it to someone. Although as you get older those feelings change. Whenever you get dirt on your shoes you moan in annoyance; when it gets on your clothes after sitting on the ground you wipe it away as quickly as possible. If you think about it, people are like dirt.

"Ida wait!" Merliah hollers as she chases after the girl.

Ida ran into the barn and quickly climbed up the ladder and went into hiding in her normal crying spot, one that she shared with William when he was a child. "Oh Ida.." Merliah sadly whined as she entered the barn, looking swiftly left and right in search for her missing friend. Than she heard it.

The young girl was crying above the brunette, not bothering to stifle her cries,m. She cried aloud.

Merliah turned to the ladder and pulled herself up with each step, the cries becoming more clear. Once she reached the deck, Merliah ushered to Ida's side.

"Ida I am so sorry, I did not mean for this to happen nor did I want it too-"

"Yes you did! If you did not want it to happen you would not have let it happen!" Ida cried out loudly as she lifted her tear stained cheeks to Merliah's gaze, to only put her head back in her arms seconds later. "Ida I truly did not.. I know how you two felt about each other and I am so sorry I did not want to come between you two but it just happened. Oh please Ida, please tell me what I can do to make everything better." Merliah replied, wanting to cry herself.

Ida slowly stopped crying, occasionally sniffling once and every few moment. Her head still in her arms she spoke, "I had a feeling you two were beginning to.. fall for each other. I told myself I would not be like Lavender, and not to loose a bosom friend over a boy. However it hurts the upmost to know that your bosom friend gets the boy you thought you could have your tragical romance with." Ida finished, her voice quivering. Lifting her head up once more to look at the brown eyed girl once more.

Merliah did not say anything, she just hugged her. She was so ever sorry for her and Gilbert's upcoming and did not want to hurt Ida in any way. Although she could not hide what was the truth any longer.

As the brunette was hugging her, Ida did not push her away or cry. She embraced herself into her friends arms and hugged Merliah back. Ida knew she would be alright in the end, this is only the beginning, yet in that moment, a part of their bond broke.

"So.." Ida said as she pulled away from the girls grasp.

"I better be the made of honor.." She finished with a smile that was half forced and half pure, as a tear strolled down her cheek.

Merliah smiled back, tears brimming at her eyes as she nodded her head as a yes, letting out a relieved laugh. Ida and Merliah hugged once more before Merliah sat down and began talking with the girl whose hair was a mix of orange and brown - sorting everything out.

Yes their friendship had grown weak in those dark moments, however in the end it brought them closer.

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"Merliah, it is your turn." Miss Herny said, gesturing to the girl. It was the next day after Ida found out about Gilbert and the girl. Things were tense and awkward when it was only the three of them. Gilbert had tried multiple times to start a conversation with Ida, any conversation. Yet he was met with rejection. Ida and Merliah were on good terms although everything was off whenever Gilbert was around. Ida was sitting to Merliah's right and Gilbert to her left, both of them looking at her as they awaited for her story to be unfolded. Merliah turned to face Gilbert, his eyes wondering over her own; as if looking so delicately for the key that could open the gates to her mind and thoughts.

"I am so sorry Miss Herny, can you repeat the question?" Spoke the brunette, ripping her gaze away from the brown haired boy to her smiling teacher. I swear she is always smiling.. Merliah thought to herself.

"Of course." Miss Herny said with a smile plastered on her face, like the cement underneath them.

Everyone was sitting in a circle in the front of the class. Today was Family History Day. A day to talk about your ancestors and share something exciting or something your proud of that's in or is your family. "I had asked if you would like to go next, Ida had just finished about her family history." Miss Herny finished with a sad smile facing Anne. Everyone knew how Anne did not know much at all about her family, the Smith's did not get along with each other very well and Eliza made sure to see of it that Ida did not meet or get to know any of her other relatives. Although Ida was very much satisfied with her current family, as it was the only one she needed.

Merliah cleared her throat as she turned away from Miss Herny's gaze, to the wall behind her.

"My family is..."

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"Okay you know what I apologize for the things that I said and that's it I am not going to sit here and be lectured by a 15-year-old child you do not in any way shape or form have the right to tell me what to do or how I should feel or act or the way that I need to be treating anyone I am the parent you are the child and apparently you don't have that in your head yet and honestly I don't care if Noah doesn't want to come over anymore to be frankly honest if you want to start growing some balls like apparently you're doing right now and talking to me this way thinking that it's okay you seriously have another thing coming little girl I don't know who the hell you think you are but you do not speak to me that way ever again you or anyone else for that matter now I totally regret even apologizing to you. You're attitude has gotten completely out of hand and it causes nothing but problems for Grandma which then causes problems for me so you need to check yourself first before you ever dare even tell me how I should be you are 15 years old you are not the boss and you are not in charge how dare you fucking speak to me like that you need to be brought home now as you are grounded for the next month you have one hour to be home and next time you want to grow a set of balls and talk to me like that again we can see what happens." Merliah spoke, her voice cracking a little as she tried to not cry in front of Noah.

Her mother was once again having her monthly fight with Merliah. The brunettes mom would always become quite cold over something the girl was never involved in, and take it out on her.

"This is normal right?" Merliah said as she began to cry, looking at her boyfriend Noah, who was intently listening to what the girl had read from her mother. "No it's not.." Is all he replied with. Noah walked up to the girl and gave her a tight hug, not letting go as Merliah sobbed into his touch. His scent of cologne that she loved ever so much was grazing by her nose. She took in a deep breath and tried to calm down. Her body melting as her cries grow stronger in defeat.

"What did I do..?" She questioned.

"Nothing..you did nothing.."

Merliah did not have the perfect life, however she got through it. She had been taught to be grateful with what she has and had been given. She did not have many friends, and her family could be extremely toxic and mentally abusive sometimes. Although at the same time she loved them so much, even if they were not always good for her at times. Family is family.

Her mother and grandmother blamed the young brunette for almost anything that could have gone wrong. Every fight, every comment, every text, every movement. It was all the girls fault. She did not understand why it was always like this in her family, and she always thought it was normal to live in such a toxic household, until Noah told her that it was not normal at all.

Merliah was a good child, she tried her best to keep a four point gpa; she had good friends, and she was very energetic and bubbly, even when she had the worst days.

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I am not the only one with issues, people have it worse than me so why should I have the right to complain? Merliah said to herself as she was walking back and forth in front of the school councilors office, contemplating whether or not to tell them what's been happening behind the closed doors of her home.

The girl was not physically abused or harmed in any way, although mentally - well that was a complete different story.

"Pack up you're shit when you get home! You're going back to Grandma's I can't deal with this shit anymore!" Merliah can still hear those words ringing through her ears.

She grasped her anger and held it to her chest. It had changed her into something she never meant to be. It had transformed her into a person she did not recognize, and she didn't know how to let it go.

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"Merliah.." Gilbert spoke as he gently placed a hand on the brunettes shoulder, shaking her lightly to regain her lost attention.

The girl zoned back into reality, her eyes met Gilbert's. She than turned to Miss Herny, along the way noticing how the entire class with bored expressions - waiting for her turn to be over.

"My family, they are different.. like Ida I don't know much about them." Merliah lied as she took her eyes to face the ground as she fiddled with the fabric of her dress in between her fingers. "Well that is alright, thank you for trying." Miss Herny replied in her kind tone as she than asked Gilbert to speak.

Ida's eyes shot up when Miss Herny said Gilbert's name, along with Lavender. Although both of their eyes saddened when Gilbert began telling his family's story.