chapter one

josie

december 2110

seven years later.

After my last class of the day, jazz and modern dance, I stayed behind in the studio alone to stretch out my sore limbs after everyone's gone to their dorms. The light streaming through the big glass windows filtered in hues of orange, gold, and rose. Hesitating slightly, I let myself gently plop onto the cool marley wood flooring and propped my arms behind my head. Usually I was wide awake. But for the first time in a while, I was a little tired.

Not sleepy. I was never sleepy. As long as I could remember, I've never felt sleepy, because I didn't sleep.

I breathed in deeply and exhaled. I tried to close my eyes and imagine that I was dreaming. It felt nice for a second— almost like a warm hug…

Pfft. I felt stupid and got back up to walk over to the windows. I gazed outside at the cold quiet city of Yakutsk, Polaire, the giant icy mountains that surrounded the city like a protective wall, the streets made of metal and ice, the tall glass and steel buildings that seemed to pierce the sky. There were no clouds today, which was a rare thing. I smiled softly as the beautiful sun sank behind the mountains. Night fell and blanketed the city with a slow seeping darkness.

That was my cue. I pulled on some sweatpants, threw on a jacket, and walked out of the studio with my dance bag over my shoulder.

Night wasn't rest for me.

It was the time that I was the most awake.

I stopped by my dorm to change and put away my stuff. I showered really quick, then pulled on black tight clothes that kept my muscles warm and ready, swung over my cloak, and braided my hair back. I shared the dorm with another girl, but she was always out somewhere. I tucked my hair up into a black cap and saw a dark figure in the corner of my eye. I whipped around, only to stare directly at the reflection of myself in the mirror.

I took a second to look at myself. I had cold, wild eyes, and a scary shade of pale skin. I didn't look like a dancer. For just a second, I didn't recognize myself.

I looked like my dad, an underground Mafia boss.

Goosebumps trailed up my arms, and I shook out of it and headed out of my dorm to the elevator at the end of the hall.

Inside, as I pressed the button for the second floor, fluorescent bright lights shone from above me. I've gone through this route countless times by now, but I still planned out where I would go carefully in my head.

To avoid exiting through the lobby where staff might become suspicious, I'd go through the ballet studio on the second floor, which had windows closest to the ground in the building apart from the lobby windows. Plus, the windows in the second floor ballet studio faced away from the busy hovercar streets of downtown Yakutsk, so I'd be able to sneak out without others outside noticing me.

Ding! The elevator doors started to slide open, and my first thought was that the second floor was strangely dimly lit and dark. My eyes narrowed at the shadowy figure a couple feet in front of me. His head raising out of the shadows, I met blue electric eyes framed with delicate blonde lashes.

My breath got caught in my throat and my eyes widened. Kaiden Blancstone immediately started to walk fast towards me and easily reached me with three quick strides. His face stayed blank, his stare empty. The elevator doors seemed like they slid open even slower, the fluorescent lights blended together and seemed too bright, and all I felt was confusion in that split second. Kaiden, my dance partner in last year's show. Kaiden, who always tried to buy me drinks and tease me for my height. Little things he did that made me smile got crushed the instant he locked my head in his elbow fiercely and shoved a moist cloth into my mouth.

"Hrmmgh!" My shriek was muffled as he pressed the bundle of cloth deeper into my mouth. It tasted sickly sweet, and its intoxicating scent wafted up my nostrils. I squeezed my eyes shut and anger uncoiled in my chest. It burned and boiled in my blood. It drove my knee up, but his other arm caught it. He didn't catch my elbow, though. I sensed a quick opening and drove through with my elbow, hitting his collarbone and hearing a little snap. His grip loosened the slightest bit and I twisted away instantly, running out into the wide dark hallway.

He's not a skilled fighter, I thought subconsciously. It brought a little relief in my head—the kind-hearted Kaiden I knew was still clumsy and innocent.

A sudden realization made me stumble slightly. If I had aimed my elbow to the right a little more, and swung harder… I could have punctured his heart. But a subconscious instinct told me to hold back.

Kaiden stepped out of the elevator, and it closed, taking away almost all the light. I spat out the cloth bundled up in my mouth using my tongue, caught his gaze again, and this time his stare made me recoil. I sensed the subtle difference of his eyes unfocusing from me, and I ducked and rolled to the side just in time for another figure flying from behind me to crash into Kaiden. The other figure stood up quickly and lunged for my waist with a growl. In the darkness I saw the glint of silver metal in his hand. My heart lurched in my throat and I jumped up and kicked his head back just in time.

Another hand grabbed my wrist simultaneously. Dread filled the pit of my stomach. How many people are coming to attack me? This must've been fairly organized. I twisted my wrist out, using my whole body, before the grip was too tight, and swung towards the third person, kicking the jugular with the point of my boot. I landed on the ground, my fingertips and nerves tingling, and I ran for it.

I couldn't help it— my breaths were shallow and panic started to creep in. I stumbled to a stop outside the ballet studio and yanked the door open. This was totally unexpected, nobody's ever attacked me inside the academy. Dad would be pissed off if he found out. Well shit, I was already late— 8 minutes behind schedule. His disapproving frown filled my mind, his green eyes narrowing—

Oof. Something hard slammed my back and the wind was momentarily knocked out of me. I rolled on the cool wooden floor and instantly got up on my feet, only to be slammed back down. The side of my knee burned against the floor, and pain pricked up my leg. The pain didn't affect me much. I was much more scared of what I might accidentally do to them if I lost control. My brain took a couple seconds to shake out of its fuzzy state.

Several people ran inside the ballet studio— I sensed eight people— and surrounded me on all sides. I couldn't explain why I was feeling so scared. They were just students, I could knock them out easily, right?

But they weren't just students. They were my classmates. I didn't want to hurt them— we had a dance show coming up in a few weeks—

"Kaiden! Didn't you put her to sleep with the cloth? Why hasn't she passed out yet?" a feminine voice hissed.

My eyes adjusted just enough to see Kaiden. When he saw me staring at him, he stumbled back. "I, I don't know…"

"Didn't expect you to be able to fight," a voice in the dark studio snarled. He sounded so familiar. A light lit up in my head— it was Jaxon. He was in my ballet class. "You must've been raised by wolves, eh? That explains why your parents never came to any performances, because they're fucking rabid dogs."

A cold feeling swept through my body. A few students laughed. Anger started pooling at the bottom of my stomach, but I stopped myself before I could get riled up.

One wrong move and I could kill them by accident. I closed my eyes tightly as fear and dread filled me. The realization hit me like a train— I've only been taught to kill. Enzo didn't think it was necessary for me to learn how to defend myself anyway else.

I could try to knock them out, but I didn't want to hurt them. I've already hurt them enough outside of the elevator. I definitely had to maintain control.

I couldn't temporarily stun them, it would damage their spines too much and they wouldn't be able to make it fully healed in time for the dance show. I could probably just run away and climb down from the window in a few seconds.

I jumped up and sprinted toward the window to my right. One hand caught my ankle and I twisted out of the grip, but that just led to several other hands grabbing me everywhere else. My calf, my knee, my waist, my arm. I instinctively tensed up and shivered as their cold nails digged into my skin.

What was happening to me? Why didn't I want to fight?

Twist around and bite their necks off.

No. I cringed inward and shut my eyes tight.

Plunge your hands into their stomachs and scramble their insides softly.

I brought down walls around my thoughts and tried desperately to overcome the monster stirring inside me.

Do it— you're much stronger than them. Their blank lifeless eyes—

"NOO!!" I screamed, throwing their hands off and curling into a ball on the floor. One of the students cursed. I covered my head with my hands and rocked back and forth. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip and incoherent agonized mumbles escaped my bloody mouth.

Stop it stop it stop it stop it.

Hands yet once again, more desperate and rough, grabbed onto my arms and dragged my body across the studio. Before I realized it, my body started to grow limp. Maybe I deserve it. I felt like throwing up until I had nothing left inside me.

They unlocked the old storage closet and threw me down the small staircase. I tumbled down the hard splintering stairs, pain shooting up my joints. They grabbed me again and dragged me deeper into the closet space. An old stale smell lingered in the air. I raised my head slightly but someone slammed my head back onto the hard floor, and my skull screamed. I took a breath to scream, but they were already there, stuffing a cloth into my mouth. Somebody flicked my forehead and laughed. The smell of old water and dust filled my nostrils.

"You dirty-blooded bitch," a girl seethed. A hand grabbed my jaw and yanked my head to one side. Please leave me alone. "Teacher's pet, you don't deserve anything. How does your family even live in that dirt hole? Your mom sleeps around for a couple of coins?"

Anger erupted in my brain and a raw scream started in the base of my throat. I thrashed out, ignoring the needle-like pain, and somebody pinned my hips down, grabbed my leg and twisted it. I arched my back in pain and screamed into the cloth. One boy's low voice laughed. My lungs felt crushed of air, and my leg felt torn off, flooded with agony. After taking one more look at me, they began to walk away. "That's right, you slut," someone spat out.

The thread sna p p e d .

A dead calm filled me. My eyes flew open and stared at their retreating backs.

Pain is the clearest path to reality.

I sprang up onto my feet. I pushed the cloth out of my mouth with my warm sandy tongue. My nerves tingled and a laugh cackled at the bottom of my throat. One of the students turned around and stared at me in horror. I yanked my head to the side and six vertebrates out of seven popped in a row.

"Hmm," I murmured. My voice sounded like several different voices all loosely strung together. The monster inside me, my reality, overcame me completely and gently cradled my broken body. All of the students had turned around by now. Another laugh bubbled up and shook me as my head hung down low. I stared at my hands.

It was so dark. They wouldn't realize what had happened.

"Bro, she's standing…"

"And you're dead," I finished for him. I decided to start with him.

I plunged my fingers into his ear, let it crunch between my grin, and blew softly.