Westeros, the suckiest continent.

*7 B.L/ 283 A.C*

It seems that even though news announcing the end of the Rebellion were already out, Storm's End siege has yet to end, which means that most of the able-bodied northern men are still occupied in the war, including sailors. So there are no ships heading to White Harbor, neither to Oldtown nor Sunspear, as the former is the one doing the seige-ing, and the latter is holding their troops in reserve in case of an invasion.

Gulltown is a no-go also, since their fleet was confiscated by Jon Arryn, so they're just starting to rebuild and using their merchant fleets to defend against raiders.

The only option left is Kingslanding, which Kaiser really wants to avoid, apart from their Wildfire there is nothing of note to be found there. Although I guess seeing the Iron Throne could be interesting.

He finds plenty of ships heading to the Westerosi capital, as trade to the city just reopened. And apparently they will find themselves there just in time for Robert's coronation.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Volantis can be described as pile of sh*t covered in brilliant gold. it is a beautiful city hosting a disgusting society. Kings Landing meanwhile is brutally honest.

Kings Landing is a square-shaped city, built over three hills at the north shore of the Blackwater Rush, named after Aegon and his two sisters, Visenya and Rhaenys. Aegon's High Hill, surmounted by the Red Keep.

Generally, the areas on the higher elevations of the three hills tend to be the wealthier parts of the city, while the poorer areas are the low places in between them. The worst slum in the city is Flea Bottom, a poorly built area at the bottom of the east side of Rhaenys's Hill (the side facing Aegon's High Hill).

There the poorest smallfolk eke out a meager existence, subsisting largely on "bowls of brown", a mystery stew that can include the meat of rats and murder victims, among other things. In contrast, the top of Rhaenys's Hill is the location of the Street of Silk, filled with expensive high-end brothels catering to lords and rich merchants.

Apart from the Red Keep, the city was built haphazardly without any heed towards organization or hygiene, most of the streets are narrow, and the poorer parts of the city smell like sh*t, with the city's sewers ending at Flea bottom, and piles of sh*t flowing down its streets.

It hasn't been long since the Sack, and for the night before a Kings coronation the feel of the city was understandably gloomy.

Kaiser is heading towards Eel Alley, a street known for its countless Inns and Taverns, as he enters the street, he could see more and more men dressed in red livery drinking on the different establishments.

He walks for a while, looking for a tavern that isn't filled to the brim with soldiers. After a while, he finds a reasonably clean Inn -for this city at least - that is mysteriously deserted apart from a group of grim soldiers.

He goes inside to the sight of scared barmaid pouring beer to a bunch of groping sinister soldiers, with the Innkeeper, a steely looking middle-aged man, watching the crowd like a hawk.

His entrance attracts the attention of the small crowd, the soldiers either showing expressions of intrigue towards his strange features, or surprise at the fact that someone else would share the same establishment as themselves.

He sits at a secluded table, putting his spear against the wall to his right. The barmaid, seeing a way to escape from her predicament, rushes to his table.

"Hello, what can I get you ?"

"A pint of ale and a room for the night, please." He replies in completely fluent Common Tongue.

"Alright."

Kaiser just sits on his table for a while, sipping his ale and ruminating about his time here. Meanwhile, another group of similar looking soldiers enter, they look around for a second, before settling their gazes towards Kaiser's table.

They approach, while a short scarred man with a mocking smirk addresses Kaiser.

"Look what we have here ! A little s*ssy escaping from the brothels ? Alright lad, get out, this is our seat." He says, causing roaring laughter to sound out from their table.

Kaiser simply takes another sip from his drink.

"Scared silly, eh ? What could you expect ? A filthy foreigner not knowing where he is, I think you're in the wrong place lad, ya should probably leave before ya get hurt."

"..."

*SLAM!*

He slams his hand on the table, but Kaiser just takes another sip from his drink.

"You little shit !" He shouts, angrily flipping the table, or at least attempting to.

Kaiser suddenly slams his drink on the table, stopping the guy from flipping it. The goon looks up in surprise before Kaiser's free hand grabs the back of his head and slams it on the table.

His four remaining stooges take a few seconds to react, before one of them tries to knock him out with an overextended hook. Kaiser simply grabs his wrist and pulls his hand further in, while breaking his elbow with a deathly quick blow.

Before the other three could surround him he flips the table at them with his leg while rushing towards them. The next guy pushes away the thrown table just to get a fast jab into his jugular. He falls on his knees, choking, and Kaiser puts him into unconsciousness with a roundhouse kick.

While that was happening, the distant group of people are suddenly no longer interested in just watching their colleagues get beaten, so they unsheathe their swords and head for the fight.

Meanwhile, of the remaining two, one of them tries to tackle Kaiser, but he takes advantage of the momentum from the first kick to knock him out with another spinning kick. The other takes out a dagger and tries to stab him with a thrust.

Kaiser kicks the man's wielding hand with his knee causing him to let go of the dagger. He then swiftly grabs it in midair and stabs the man in his neck, before taking it out. He subsequently throws it towards the other group, stabbing the one at the far back on the eye.

Seeing the other armed group of 5 (formerly 6) heading towards him, he grabs the upside down table next to him and throws it -again- towards them. The man on the front -who is considerably faster than his counterparts- bats it out of his way, only to get face to face with Kaiser and his spear.

Kaiser goes for a stab towards the man's eye, but he puts his sword in its path to parry it, only for Kaiser to spin with the spear, turning the stab into a slash, cutting the guy's head. His colleagues are meanwhile still a bit far, so he throws his spear like a javelin at incredible speed, which goes through a man's torsos before getting stuck.

The other two are already close to him by the time the spear hits, so Kaiser takes the headless body's sword and rushes towards them. They both try to go for a diagonal slash in different directions at the same time.

Instead of backing up and dodging their attacks, Kaiser cuts the sword wielding hand of the man on his left while sidestepping the other's slash. While the former screams out in pain, Kaiser slashes the throat of the remaining threat, after which he cuts the head of the other in a smooth stroke.

As their blood spurts on his boots and their bodies fall to the ground, Kaiser menacingly walks towards the last man. The soldier, clearly in a state of shock, drops his sword and falls on his ass.

He furiously scrambles away from Kaiser towards his previous table.

Kaiser pulls his spear out of a man's torso as he continues to walk, the man still crawling backwards as the air starts to reek with the smell of piss.

"N-no ! Please ! Please ! I-I didn't have anything to do with that I didn't !" He shouts.

His pleas are interrupted as the back of his head touches the side of a table, a glint of despair colors his eyes as he realizes that he has no more room to escape.

"AAAAAA- *Spurt*" His screams get interrupted by a spear on his throat.

Kaiser calmly sits on the table and grabs one of the beers.

The whole place goes silent, aside from the sound of dead bodies choking on flowing blood and the barmaid whimpering behind the counter.

After finishing his pint in one shot, Kaiser takes out two gold coins from his waist couch and throws it at the innkeeper.

"For your trouble."

"Huh ? Y-yeah..."

It took some dozen minutes for the Innkeepers and the barmaid to get over their daze, after which the Innkeeper told the maid to start cleaning up, while he approached Kaiser.

He pulls a chair, the sound of it scraping the ground echoing in the room, and sits in front of Kaiser.

"Yer quite something lad, not anyone can handle themselves in a fight like that. But, you do realize these are the Mountain's men at arms right ? After the tourney ends he is definitely coming for you."

"Is he now ?" Replies Kaiser.

"I'm sure yer quite a warrior, I've seen it myself. But the Mountain is a beast ! Ye better leave the city before him and his men come for you !"

"I guess we'll have to see."

"Wa- what ?! Are ye daft boy ?! I tell ye that the Mountain's coming and ye don't even react !"

"Well, you said he's at the melee right ?"

"Well yes but-"

"Then I'll meet him there."

"It's the Mountain ! You can't go against him, you have to escape."

"That is for me to decide." Finishes Kaiser as he leaves the establishment, the sound of creaking doors behind him.

It won't be ideal to be woken up by a cutthroat or two, won't it ?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It is a beautiful day in this filthy city, the sky is clear, and the smell is shitty as ever. The Lords are licking his arse while the women are licking something else, heh. Great weather for some head bashing, thought Robert.

He slams his mug on the table. "More wine !"

A squire quickly refills the kings jug.

Robert overlooks the melee grounds, observing the participants. He could see Yohn Royce's stocky build, with his bronze armor and his receding hair standing amongst them. There was also Thoros of Myr, a priest of R'hllor sent at the behest of the Red Temple, in hopes of gaining more followers in the seven kingdoms after his successful rebellion.

Next to each other stand two other noteworthy candidates, Jaime Lannister, dubbed as the Kingslayer by yours truly, knighted at 15 and named to the Kingsguard at 16, he was the youngest in history to have that honor, honor he besmirsched.

And last but not least, the Mountain, being close to eight feet in height (or 2,4 meters). He has massive shoulders and arms thick as the trunk of small trees, Gregor wears the heaviest, thickest steel plate armor in the Seven Kingdoms. Dull grey in color and battle-scarred, his armor is so heavy that no ordinary man would be able to move, let alone fight effectively while wearing it. Below the plate he wears chainmail and boiled leather.

Robert has no doubt that Gregor would be the winner of the melee, as long as he doesn't face the Lannister, of course. It wouldn't do for a knight to taint his lieges heir honor in public, especially not if your Lord is Tywing Lannister.

However, someone peculiar catches the blue eyes of the King, a very young looking man, slightly taller than 6 feet, with the most exotic golden eyes he's ever seen. He stood out amongst the participant with his black leather armor and long braided hair.

He points towards the man amongst the crowd, causing his entourage, composed of his small council, Tywin Lannister and his daughter and a bunch of other bennermen, to turn towards that direction. "Varys ! Who is that man ?" He says.

"Your Grace ? Ah ! That man is called Kaiser Jentys, a very famous warrior on Essos, practically of legendary renown."

"Oh ?" He replies.

"I heard rumours in Lannisport, Your Grace. They say he started marching with the golden company ever since he 10 namedays old, and that he rides horses better than any dothraki, shoots an arrow that can make a summer islander cry, and wields a spear as if it was part of his own body.

While these rumours are certainly exaggerated, his skill should be noteworthy, your Grace." Interjects Tywin Lannister, talking in his way that oozes arrogance even though his words are nothing but.

"The impressive thing, Your Grace, is that he is three and ten namedays old, and his height and peculiar eye color is due to the fact that he is half Lengii, who are rumored to grow up to be 7 feet tall, and half dothraki, which shows in his hair." Continues Varys.

"Impressive, having such skill at such a young age must be unprecedented. Maybe you could offer him a knighthood if he wins the melee, don't you think, Robert ?" Says his foster father Jon Arryn, being the only one who dares addressing him with such familliarity, him and Ned.

"Any knight in the seven kingdoms are worth tenfold of what essos can bring, no wonder they let a 13 year old walk over them !" Exclaims a particularly rumbuctuous lord.

Robert ignores his comment and stands up.

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE ! FIGHT FOR YOUR KING ! LET THE MELEE BEGIN !" He shouts to the proclamation of the spectators.

The king watches gleefully as people rush to the center of the field like starved beasts. You see, melees have rules, unwritten, simple rules, but rules nonetheless.

First, only use blunted weapons, of course. Secondly, do not fight the people you start next to, people want to see the initial charge. Third, no sneak attacks, this is a spectacle after all.

As people started bashing each other, people naturally began to focus on the favourites, Thoros' flaming sword was very noticable as it burned a mans hair off, while Yohn Royce was just calmy and steadily advancing, neither too agressive nor too defensive.

Jaime Lannister was just going through these poor knights, showcasing in a very cocksure way why he was an actual kingsguard, the Mountain meanwhile just gave out life threatening injuries like lemon cakes, using his sword more like a club than an actual blade.

Their performance was very eyecatching, and when Robert turned to his foster father's side to comment on it, he didn't see the stern, composed elderly face that he was used to, but a slackjawed, shocked one.

He looks back to the field following Jon Arryn's gaze, and he saw... wait what the fuck !!

"He... he's not using a weapon ?" Exlaims a random lord.

"He's manhandling those knights like children ! How does he do that ?!" Follows another one.

While the first half of the field was composed of orderly one on one fights, the second was just a bunch of people ganging up on one man, and he was winning, without even using his spear !

Kaiser let out a loud laugh as he dodges a sword swipe from behind, he grabs the attackers sword hand and pushes his feet in front of his, causing him to fall forwards.

The man steadies himself with his free hand, only to get a kick right to his face, causing his sword to fly upwards and himself losing conciousness. Kaiser grabs the helmet from the air and hits another mans head with it, staggering him.

He kicks the dizzy knight in the chest, causing him to fall straight into another dunce. Another swordsman tries to take opportunity and attempts to hit him on the back, but Kaiser steps sideways while incapacitating him with an elbow strike right on his nose.

He stands in a small mound of unconscious bodies, a couple participant just looking at him with apprehention.

"Well ? What are you waiting for ? Get on with it." Says Kaiser.

A particularly brave (or foolish) knight spurs the rest to charge towards him with a warcry.

Noticing that he is surrounded, Kaiser doesn't bother to wait for them as he charges towards the reckless one. He ducks under his telegraphed slash as he rocks his brain with an especially brutal palm strike on his chin.

the two last people in his area attempt to strike him in the back with impressively synchronized sword slashes from either side. He rapidly steps back as he hits the sends the left one reeling with an elbow strike, and disarms the second with a side punch.

He grabs both of their heads and bashes their heads with each other.

"Hah ! This is fun ! I think I like melees !" He exlaims, looking at his last opponents.

Jaime Lannister gets disqualified by the combined efforts of both Yohn Royce and Thoros, not without disarming Yohn in a particularly elegant riposte. Gregor is still decimating his last foe however.

Being the last two free participants Thoros naturally heads towards Kaiser, which Kaiser responds by slowly walking towards him.

"Kaiser the Dauntless ! If I'd knew you'd be here I wouldn't have participated in the first place ! Can't enjoy a show when you're in the receiving end of it after all !" He exclaims.

Kaiser winces at the nickname, but doesn't comment on it.

"I wanted to see new places, I heard Westeros looks quite beautiful after gruesome wars."

"Heh, yeah, the sights are enlightening."

Finishing their banter, they both charge towards each other, Kaiser still not brandishing his blunted spear.

Thoros goes for a testing vertical slash, but to his surprise Kaiser barely twists around the path of his flaming sword as he staggers him with a high kick on his shoulder.

This isn't enough to finish him, as Thoros attempts to go for a sideways slash. He is however interrupted by a rapid punch on his sword hand and a swift kick to the back of his leg.

The priest lets out a sad chuckle as his flaming sword falls and he falls kneeling to the ground.

"Heh, I guess I'm just like the others ?" He says.

"Well, look at this this way, at least you get to enjoy the show." Kaiser walks away from a laughing Thoros.

*whisle*"You really are a big one huh ?" Exclaims Kaiser.

Clegane stops pumelling an unfortunate soul as he hears the condescending comment, his greatsword stuck to the ground next to him.

The Mountain stands up to his 8 feet height, his sword scraping the ground as he pulled it as he menacingly walks towards Kaiser.

"You killed some of my men, and you will die today." He grunts.

"Too bad, and to think I brought you a present." Kaiser replies as he pulls his spear from his back, eliciting some gasps from the spectators.

They both suddenly charge towards each other, the Mountain, in a very surprising burst of speed goes for a devastating upwards slash.

Kaiser skillfully twists his body out of the way, not hindering his charge one bit. He plants the blade of his spear on the ground much to the dismay of the crowd and uses it as a handhold to jump up to the mountains height.

He takes advantage of his newfound height as he lands a spinning kick straight into the Gregor's helmet, drawing out a scream of pain and anger.

Not one to let go of the upper hand, Kaiser takes advantage of his spin while landing to follow up with a blurringly fast swipe with his spear straight to his opponents neck, sending him reeling, a knee to the ground.

But the Mountain is no pushover, as he muscles through the pain in attempt to cut Kaiser in half as he turns his back against him due to the spin.

But as if Kaiser had eyes on his back, he dodges the sword stike by ducking under it limbo style, he even winked towards Gregor, further angering him.

With an angry scream and a frothing mouth, Gregor falls in a rampant state of rage, attacking without skill or discipline, an endless barrage of strikes that Kaiser just dodges flamboyantly, further irritating him.

Just as the audiance starts getting bored of the repetitive fight, Kaiser ducks under a particularly overextended swipe and kicks the back of his attackers leg, causing him to fall on his knees.

The Mountain attempts to get back up using his greatsword as leverage, but that is for naught as he gets knocked down by a blunted spear right on his helmeted face.

As his helmet rolls next to him, Gregor lays on his back, disoriented and hurt but not knocked down, as he stares up to the sky.

The crowd is completly silent, is this the end ? They thought as Kaiser approached his fallen foe.

"I said I brought you a present, right? Care to think what it might be?" Taunts Kaiser as he stands next to his opponent.

After a couple of seconds of silence, the Mountain grabs one of Kaiser's legs in a rapid burst of speed.

"Your DEATH!" He screams.

But alas for Gregor, Kaiser is no Oberyn, as he breaks the Mountains elbow with his spearhead the moment he grabs his leg, causing him to lose his grip.

The Mountain screams.

"No, Humility."

The last thing Gregor sees are Kaisers glowing eyes as he kicks his head like a soccer ball.

Kaiser walks away from the Mountains unconscious body as chaos and roaring applause unsues.

He stands before the King's seat.

"Your Grace."

Robert waits for the applause to abate, before letting out a loud guffaw.

"Haha! What a wonderful spectacle! Kaiser the Dauntless indeed!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it your Grace." He replies, noting Tywin Lannisters piercing glare and Cercei's sour face.

"I did! I did indeed! But may I ask, what brings you here to Westeros ?"

Kaiser lets out a mischievous smirk.

He pronounces as if saying a joke that only he understands.

"Glorious purpose."