Chapter 29 Letter from Hollywood

The post arrived, and Ash picked it up as he was closest to the door. "Hey, there's a letter from Hollywood. Looks like the Premiere managed to sneak in before the League opens."

Misty and Brock crowded around, and Gary poked his head in the window. "You got some too? There's plane tickets in there, we better hurry to catch the flight."

"Ah, amazing to be somewhere so totally different to normal." Brock looked around the LAX airport. "Hang on, didn't the Rockets help us out? I didn't see them on the plane."

"Maybe they were on a different flight."

Brock's reply was drowned out by a surging roar of turbines, and a large jet fighter descended vertically to stop on a helipad to one side of the group.

Meowth bounced out, followed by a slightly cramped Jessie and James. "Bet ya forgot we had dis!"

"I actually did. You guys teleport too much."

"So you guys got tickets too…" Ash was frowning. "We didn't see the Laramie Ranch people either."

Misty spotted a waving young woman. "Over there!"

"Howdy, Ash, James, and all y'all!" Lara grinned as she bounded up to them. "We got here last night. Been staying with relatives."

"Wait a sec. A hundred or so ranchers, Pokémon like Ash's Charizard, and a great big cast in general… is there going to be room in the cinema?"

"That's the best part! We got the whole day booked in the Chinese Theatre!"

Jessie blinked in surprise. "Okay, wow. Isn't that place really famous?"

"Yeah, the buzz about these films is really big. I think it's actually ours that got them to take a better look at the others, Ash."

Brock stroked his chin. "I can see that. It's not as quirky as the idea of an all-Pokémon film, and seeing it as one of the four would encourage the critics to look more at the other three."

"That's what the film guy said." Lara began gesturing. "Come on, this way!"

Meowth glanced at the map, then flickered out of sight. He wanted to check on something…

"So, which one's first?" Ash whispered to Lara. She was acting as a barrier between Ash's party and the Rockets, with the horde of Pokémon spread out over several rows.

"Think it's our one, now shush. It's starting."

The screen lit, with the first image being a boundless sky with barely a cloud to be seen. After a few seconds, the camera panned down to show a spire of rock reaching up out of endless rolling hills of long grass.

The first person to appear was Ash, though his friends had to double take at the screen before they confirmed that, yes, it was him. Dressed in Steppe tribal clothing of the kind that had hardly changed in millennia, he was followed by similarly attired children of around his age from the Ranch area.

"Temujin, slow down!" One of them called to Ash, and Brock snapped his fingers.

Turning to Ash, he whispered, "You're doing-"

Ash nodded.

The next few minutes established the characters of Temujin and his brothers via their attempting to take a Pidgeot egg to raise as a hunting bird. Borte breathlessly mentioned the superstition that an egg laid by a fully evolved Pokémon would be stronger and evolve faster.

Temujin was shown to be the son of the clan leader of a small tribe in the high Steppes. Not the first son, nor the youngest, and destined for a minor alliance marriage in a nearby minor tribe.

Then came the film's conflict. The assassination of his father, his family living in the wilderness, killing his elder brother when the brother tried to steal food, growing up, until finally at a shockingly young age he returned to his old tribe in triumph and took over.

Temujin then took over another nearby tribe with a show of strength, and another, until at the climactic battle of the film (with over three thousand participants, although barely a hundred actors – courtesy of course of Dexter) he secured control over his entire people.

The next day, members of nearby peoples such as the Turkic arrived to treat with him.

As one of them left the Yurt, he glanced back. "So, what shall we call you? You are not simply a chief, or even a leader of one people."

Temujin thought for a moment. "Let me be called the Lord of the Sea of Grass."

The man, a Uriankhai, chuckled. "Then the world will fear Genghis Khan of the Mongols!"

With that, the credits rolled.

There was a nice song by Jigglypuff's band, who had done the music for the whole film. This particular one, it seemed, was called 'behold a pale horse'.

There was a double meaning in that – for this was Genghis Khan, who had been like death, riding to millions on a pale horse.

Ash and Dexter had been so careful when adapting the film from the secret histories to not mention the word "Mongol" that the revelation took half of the audience by surprise. As the credits rolled, a hubbub of conversation filled the theatre.

Cleavon let it go on for a few minutes, then clapped his hands. "I've been informed there will be a twenty minute break before the second film is shown. If you need to get a drink, go and do it now."

Ash recalled his Pokémon with a series of swift motions. "We better let the Pokémon get some time outside, too, guys."

"I'm impressed wid dat, Ash." Meowth said, jumping over his partners. "Didn't get it till da end."

"Thanks." Ash said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

James blinked. "I didn't see you come in."

"Eh, I was lookin' for Meowzie. Didn't see her anywhere, so ya musta changed sometin', Ash."

In Fuchsia city, a Meowth sneezed. Koga glanced over at her. "Make sure that doesn't happen on the assault course."

"Of course, sensei."

"Anyways, I'm lookin' forward to da next one!"

I rather hope you enjoy it. Everyone winced slightly as a massive wash of psychic presence swept over them.

Oh, sorry, Mewtwo added, I'm still getting used to controlling the level of that. Anyway, this second one is the only one I was actually in. For the rest of the week, I ended up as special effects.

"You are the only Pokémon with the psychic power and focus to construct entire sets in a matter of moments." Misty said, remembering how many times the young Legendary had done just that.

I prefer to think of my work on the aerial scenes when such a topic comes up.

The conversation was interrupted by Gary suddenly cursing. "Does this mean that Ash is the only one of us who managed to get himself made a movie star? Damnit!"

The audience fell silent as the second film opened, this time with a female voice's narration.

"The Holy Grail War is fought every forty years, a struggle between seven of the Magus hiding away within the country to seize an artefact that can grant any wish. These mages are empowered to contract the spirits of heroes from the past.

Seven heroes are always called, one of each type.

Saber, the strongest, wielder of the sword.

Lancer, the agile master of the spear.

Caster, possessing magic greater than any found today.

Archer, dealer of death from afar.

Rider, with a swift and deadly steed.

Berserker, possessed of maddened strength.

Assassain, the secretive killer of the shadows.

Master and Servant fight until only one team is left, then those winners take the grail and achieve their fondest wish."

The screen lightened, to show Cubone walking along.

"Of course, it would have helped had I known any of that before the war found me."

Flashes of a Marowak and a Pikachu, the former with a pair of exquisite ivory and ebony falchion and the latter with a long spear, fighting in what appeared to be a school yard late at night. Cubone watched, astonished, then saw an Abra behind the Marowak. "What are you doing here, Ran?" she said with one of Dee's many artificial voices.

When Cubone tried to duck back out of sight, Pikachu broke off his battle, chased her up and promptly stabbed her. "Sorry about this, kid," he said, this voice vaguely Irish, "But it's one of the rules. Witnesses to the Grail War have to die, simple as that."

Then the Abra did something with a crystal pendant, and Cubone's wound was gone.

"Who are you?"

The electric-type frowned. "So, you survived that? That makes me feel better about this. It's crueller killing humans who haven't a hope fighting back!"

Cubone went flying from a kick, and strange runes began to glow on her hand. Then on the floor.

"One of yours?" Pidgeot chirped quietly to Mewtwo.

Yes.

A Riolu in armour appeared and attacked Pikachu with a shimmering, half-seen sword, quickly driving him off.

"Servant Saber. Upon your summoning, I have come forth. I ask of you, are you my Master?"

Cubone blinked. "What?"

The narration returned. "I am Sajou Emiya. And that is how I ended up in this mess."

The title card finally made an appearance: Unlimited Blade Works.

Kirei Kotomine, a Psyduck wearing a crucifix, explained to Sajou and Ran that they would have to kill or be killed in the Holy Grail War.

"I'll only fight to end this ridiculous war!"

Beside her, Ran shook his head at the naivete on display.

It was amazing to watch, for everyone who knew Cubone, seeing how sincerely she could play Sajou's hot blooded character.

Jessie, looking over at her, wondered if perhaps playing this role had helped her.

The sound of thumping footsteps interrupted a conversation between Sajou and Ran. Both looked over into the night mist, and saw an Eevee picking her way forward.

She stared dispassionately for a moment at the two Masters and their Servants, then smiled slightly. "Kill them all, Berserker."

With a roar, a Charizard barrelled forward out of the mist swinging an enormous club.

Marowak pulled Ran out of the way, summoned a bow and began firing. Riolu/Saber likewise leapt into battle.

After Berserker had nearly wiped the floor with Saber, Ran suddenly got a message from his Servant.

Get away.

The camera zoomed out… and out… and showed the Marowak Archer. Five miles away, on top of a hill, a crackling arrow on her bow.

The shot devastated the entire battlefield.

"Okay, how did you do that one?" Gary asked Dee. She replied with text.

If you show an attack, then a vast explosion, people assume the attack caused the explosion. We just had Charizard let off a Blast-Burn and then started filming again in the smoking crater.

"Let's go home, Berserker." Gary's (at the time) Eevee said calmly. "Bye bye."

Ran crossed his arms. "What heroic spirit are you?"

"I don't remember." Archer said. "It seems my memories are incomplete." A slight grin crossed her face, barely seen under the bone mask. "This is because your summoning was done wrong."

Cubone looked around her. She was in a field of blades. Just a dry, packed desert with swords and spears and all manner of weapon stuck into the ground.

Looking towards the sun, she saw a figure on a small hill, impaled with many blades-

Then she woke up.

Strange red threads over the school, visible only to the eyes of a Magus.

One of Sajou's friends, the Ivysaur Shinji, asking her what was wrong.

Arbok, the servant Rider, appearing at Shinji's side that evening.

The Holy Grail War continued to unfold, Ran and Sajou trying desperately to keep a lid on the chaos caused by things like Arbok's "Blood Fort Andromeda".

But when they fought their way to the pair, they found Arbok already dead, and echoes of a Ninetales floating through the halls.

"You're in luck." The Psyduck, Kotomine, said to an infuriated Shinji. "There happens to be a Servant without a Master at this time…"

Saber, running up the steps to the temple which Sajou had begun sleepwalking towards.

Squirtle, introducing himself as Assassain.

The revelation that the Caster in this war was Ninetales.

Archer, pulling Sajou out of the firing line. "My own stupidity makes my head ache when I hear it from you!"

Much of the audience nodded to themselves at that. Those who weren't aware of the plot twist instead frowned in confusion.

Archer avoided killing her enemy, Caster broke Saber's contract with Sajou…

Everything became stranger.

Caster's master turned out to be one of the local school teachers, an Arcanine.

Sajou and Ran tried to confront Caster, and Archer betrayed her Master. For the first time, Sajou's true power was shown – the formation of blades, just like Archer.

The next few minutes of the film were subdued, until the two Masters without their Servants tried to ally with the Eevee and her monstrous Charizard. Running into the main hall of her mansion, they found a horizontal blizzard of swords raining down on Berserker from the "servant without a master" that Ivysaur had contracted – Mewtwo, as a version of the ancient Babylonian king Gilgamesh.

I think I did quite a good job with this scene.

Charizard tossed his head. "Well, it hurt. And you certainly play an arrogant monster well."

I have experience.

Gary winced. "Okay, ew."

Umbreon licked his face. "Wouldn't work on me anymore, even if he tried. Dark, remember?"

Sajou revealed her background, as someone who has wanted to "save", because of her being the only survivor of a great fire.

As the two discussed their next objective, Pikachu/Lancer hopped down from above and volunteered his help in the defeat of Caster.

Pikachu and Marowak battled in the church grounds.

"Gae Bolg!"

With that, the identity of the hero Lancer was based off was clear – the ancient warrior, Cu Cullain.

The attack was held off by the so-called Archer, but she then revealed that her plan was aimed at Caster in the first place.

Below, Sajou and Ran fought to try and free Riolu. Their attack was mainly defeated by the teamwork of the Ninetales and Arcanine, the latter of whom destroyed several of Sajou's copies of Archer's twin swords with a blistering sequence of physical attacks.

As the two Fire types gloated, however, Archer shot them from a nearby landing.

Trying to save Sajou from her seemingly-berserk former servant, Ran executed the summons contract on Saber directly.

The Riolu's hands once more clutched a sword, but this one was fully visible – a beautiful gold, blue and steel blade bearing letters in an unknown script. Only one part was legible- escalibur.

The newly revealed King Arthur fought well, but Archer's trump card – the reality marble Unlimited Blade Works, a weapon version of the actress' own Bones of the Hills, nearly killed both Sajou and Saber and forced them to retreat. Sajou demanded that Archer explain his actions at the manor the Eevee had lived in.

"We both have the same pendant, even though only one was supposed to exist. We have the same powers. How is this possible?"

Marowak nodded. "My real name is heroic spirit Emiya. I am the tired, bitter end of your ideals. I saved many people, but all I had in the end was regret."

Riolu nudged Pikachu. "I had to help her with the lines for this bit. She wanted it to be different."

"My purpose is to prevent you from becoming a heroic spirit. But it looks like you understand that we will fight by crossing blades."

The two formed a pair of copies each of Durandal, and charged.

At one of the clashes of blades, the screen cut to show a vision Sajou had just received.

My body...

Is made of swords.

Iron is my blood

And glass is my heart.

I have overcome countless battlefields undefeated.

Not once have i retreated

Nor once have i been understood.

Always alone

On the hill of swords…

intoxicated with victory...

thus, this life has no meaning.

This body...

was definitely...

made out of blades.

"So, you saw it then?" Archer asked, as her past self collapsed. "The truth that awaits you in the future, a fake bound by worthless ideals her entire life?"

Sajou charged back into battle with a cry, and the two fenced to the music of Imitation.

"How touching." Mewtwo/Gilgamesh mocked, interrupting the tableau of Sajou's defeat of her future self.

Everyone turned, ready for a fight.

"You all get to live, to die another day, scum." Mewtwo levitated off. "I have to complete the grail."

"The only thing that can match his power is…"

"Me." Sajou said. "My power is the same as Archer's. If I have enough mana, I can match him."

"How do we manage that?"

Everyone in the theatre blinked. "What the hell was that?"

Dee hummed. I don't know. In my version they just forced twenty Ethers down her neck.

Assassain agreed to fight Saber, explaining that it was because he was not a "real" hero and had never actually existed that he wanted to test himself.

Their battle ended with Assassain using the Tsubame Gaeshi attack he had developed through experience, a refraction of dimensions through pure skill that allowed three sword strokes simultaneously, but his attack was just insufficient to defeat the Excalibur.

Squirtle grinned. "Took hardly any effort at all!"

"You broke space." Ivysaur reminded him. "Some people would consider that harder than the acting stoic you had to do. We needed fifteen takes."

Meanwhile, Ran went off to save Shinji, trapped as he was in a vast, suspiciously Muk-like mass of corruption leaking from the 'holy' grail, and Sajou matched Mewtwo sword for sword in a spectacular cacophony of crashing weapons.

"Did not Archer tell you your ideals are borrowed?"

"Yeah." Sajou pulled herself up again. "But did he not follow them all the way to the end? What's wrong with that?"

When Arthur arrived, Sajou sent him along to help Ran and continued the fight on her own.

"You fool!" Mewtwo chuckled, then rained more swords on Sajou.

With a flare of fire, the Cubone used her reality marble.

"Everything here is an imitation! Completely worthless objects to you!" Sajou shouted, taking up one of the swords stuck in the ground. "But there's no rule that says a fake can't defeat the original!"

Hundreds of swords from an apparently-still-alive Archer in the sky blew a path for Ran to get Shinji to safety. With them out of the way, Saber invoked his legendary weapon and annihilated the corrupt Grail.

Sajou and Gilgamesh, wielding legendary weapons like disposable toys, fought back and forth across the created landscape.

Finally, when he lost one of his best weapons, Gilgamesh reached for his "true" weapon, Ea, and the extra second allowed Sajou to finally end the Grail War.

"It's over." Sajou said, staring at the devastated terrain.

"Yes. It is. And on a better note than my own." Archer nodded to her, then walked over to Ran.

Over the last few minutes, to the gentle theme of Eternity, Marowak said her goodbyes.

"Was it me, or was that a combination of group therapy for Cubone and an excuse for special effects?" Ash asked as the lights went back up.

"Hey, we got to stage a fight between King Arthur and Hercules. What more do you want?"

"True. But this could be a lot more deep than it is."

"I'll try and get something worked out, there's about two weeks' worth of time we planned out. Hopefully show off who Rider really was as well as what Gilgamesh was doing here."

"…special effects were spectacular, though."

The third film (Sword of the Stranger) was, thankfully, more conventional. Riolu once more played a major role, though this time as a Ronin around the time of the Shogunate.

Other characters included a shrine priest (Mewtwo), evil Ming general in pursuit of immortality (Ivysaur), and a boy and his dog (Nobody commented on how the dog, Growlie, was about ten times bigger than the boy, being played by Abra.)

Gary's Kadabra played as a westerner with a passion for interesting fights, naturally on the side of the villains. Geodude, meanwhile, was a tough subordinate of Ivysaur's character Luo-lang.

Ash frowned. "Why's Riolu's sword tied to the sheath?"

"It's called peace bonding. Indicates he doesn't intend to kill anyone, as he can't draw his sword."

"Right, can't kill anyone, got it."

After a fairly protracted negotiation and not a little emotional blackmail, Riolu finally agreed to escort Abra and Arcanine to a remote Buddhist temple, so as to avoid the Big Bad attacking him.

Not that that worked all that well. In fact, generally speaking there was an awful lot of attacking.

"How many substitutes did you kill off in this film?" Ash asked incredulously, as thirty copies of Meowth went down in as many seconds.

"We all lost count."

"What, even Dee?"

"All of us." Pikachu repeated.

"And another thing - I thought you said the point of the peace-bond was to show he didn't want to kill anyone."

"He's good enough to do it anyway."

"That was one of the most amazing pieces of film I have ever seen." Gary commented in an absent tone as the film wound to a close. "I mean, wow. I saw it when it was being filmed, but…"

I'll take that as a compliment. Dee remarked lightly.

After the other three, Pokémon in love was relatively pedestrian. But it was well-constructed, nevertheless, and the way Cleavon had not relied on Dee's dubbing skills and used solely the expressions of the actors gave it a unique quality.

Ash and his friends practically pried themselves out of the seats in which they had been sitting for the better part of nine hours on and off, ready to head back to LAX for their flight home.

Excuse me, but I'm going back to Johto myself via long distance teleport. I would not mind taking passengers for the Home Islands.

Several of the humans and Pokémon stopped, turning to Mewtwo. "How many can you take?"

Remember the enormous hurricane? Mewtwo replied. There's very little limit on how many I can teleport.

"Eh, we're goin' back our own way." Meowth said, speaking for his team. "We can't leave the Su over here."

I see. Everyone else, I'll go back in three hours from here, so pick up anything you left somewhere and meet me then.

Okay, wow.

Mewtwo gazed across the huge number of people, mainly Ranchers, then cracked his knuckles.

I do enjoy a challenge.

For a moment, everyone's vision wavered like they'd just plunged into water, then they found themselves sitting on their respective beds, at their respective homes or where they were otherwise staying.

Ash checked his. "Showoff! He properly made my bed, too!"

"Actually," Mimey commented from the door, "That was me."

"Oh, sorry."

AN: Yeah, pretty self indulgent. But I think that UBW provided some character development for Cubone, at least, and also served the purpose of "humanizing" Mewtwo for Giovanni.

Sword of the Stranger is a great classic of the Anime medium, and the main reason the description of it is so short is that I didn't feel I could possibly do it justice. I recommend watching it.

There's no actual film called Sea of Grass, at least as far as I know. There are several film reproductions of the story of Temujin, which is known fairly well from the Secret History of the Mongols, but for this version I drew primarily on the Wolf of the Plains, by Conn Iggulden, which compresses the time frame of the unification.

Next chapter is back to the main storyline.