Chapter 18 Officer jenny

"Right, right, flying invisible battleship, right... and what was the name of this hallucination - I mean criminal?"

"J."

Officer Jenny blinked, and crossed out a lot of her notes.

"J? J? The person who has only ever been driven off before? The J who we don't even send police against any more because it was like giving her Growlithe to sell? The J who we only ever try to battle when we have heavy Gym support? The J who was only prevented from capturing the Legendary Beasts at the Battle of Three Hills when her client pulled out? That J?"

Ash glanced from Maurice, to Misty, to Brock, to his Pokémon.

"Why, is there another?"

Jenny sat down weakly. "Okay, start from the beginning. You were returning from Sinnoh, you say? I assume that Pidgeot is how."

"Yeah, but you'd do better to ask the others about the first part."

Misty spoke. "She splatted our entire campsite in gunk before we even knew she was there. There's not much to tell."

"Okay, so how…"

"So if I understand it right, you're saying it was a combination of skill and luck. Luck in that you had exactly the right Pokémon to hack her systems, mess around with her weapons, break the cages and neutralize the ship and her Salamence both."

Brock nodded, carefully looking not quite at Jenny. "And skill in that Ash is really astonishingly good. If it helps you evaluate, most of the gym battles he's been in the Leader has brought their A game."

Jenny glanced at Ash. "Well, I'm impressed."

Ash looked at the two gym leaders. "'A' Game?"

"Gym leaders have a wide menu of choices on the kind of challenge we give to people. In my case," Brock explained, "I have relatively few since I'm young and Dad took all his Pokémon with him, but normally – as in the case of Misty and the other sensational sisters - they have more options. So Falkner in Johto would, say, fight a relatively new trainer with a Pidgey, Spearow, maybe a young Pidgeotto, whereas an old hand at the League-"

Ash's eyes widened in understanding. "Pidgeot, Skarmony, the works."

"Exactly. That's why Gym Leaders are so revered. But you're easily above us, now, at least in general power capacity. The Gym Challenge for you is more a matter of tactics and philosophy."

"So it's a test of intelligence? I'm really rubbish at those! That's not fair!" Ash cried, but a smirk belied his feelings.

Misty snapped her fingers. "We could have you doing the gym battles yourself!"

"No way!"

"What are you doing? That looks like… maths? Something vaguely like a circuit diagram?"

Ash nodded. "My main weakness in actual combat is that I have little stamina. It's because, you know, I'm eleven, physically. So I've decided to see if I can up the storage capacity of the gloves, or perhaps come up with another kind of Aura 'battery', as it were. That way, I'd be able to Aura boost properly and allow a fight to last longer than thirty seconds before I started to tire."

"Wow. Complicated?"

"Incredibly so. I'm amazed at the kind of things in the notes, but there's nothing of this type. What I'm actually doing is more along the lines of trying to learn the underlying basics, or something… Dexter's had a look as well, but I don't know how long it'll take to get anywhere. So, er, you got any projects?"

Riolu waved his paw, palm down. "Not sure if any of them will work. What I've actually done is basically raid anime and manga stores for anything that sounds interesting. It's helped Geodude – apparently he's taken with the idea of animating earth and stone that's more than just his body, making up for his small size. And I think Staryu and Misty are working on something neat as well."

At that point, Pikachu came flying into the little depression, trailing water and sparks.

"Whoa! What happened to you?"

"A whirlwind made of razor blades made of water. Oh, Staryu's new move is coming on nicely." Pikachu shook himself off. "There's so much of the water in such thin streamers that it actually messes with my electricity. It's all sucked away into static charge. Sure, I can blow the water away like that by getting it to repel itself, but that's very power intensive."

Ash blinked. Blinked again. "Power intensive? Coming from you?"

"I don't have an unlimited power reserve, far from it. I actually have only about a minute of power at full burn, maybe less – it's just that full burn is so high."

Ash pushed the engineer over the slight rise. "There. Diglett, Dugtrio, nature's landscaping crew, have your epiphany now, K?" He sighed, walking back to the others. "And it was hard the first time around…"

"Yeah, actually, I've been wondering about this. Why do we even use heavy lifting equipment?"

"Oh, you mean instead of Pokémon?" Brock asked.

"Yeah. It can't be that hard to catch a Rock type and ask it."

I think that would be because we are in Kanto, and Kanto has the most ludicrously high technology anywhere in the world.

"Really?"

Misty nodded slowly. "That makes sense… remember the Johto region? Lovely place, but they'd only recently installed radio."

"Only recently? Wasn't Professor Oak one of their starting lineup? I think it must have begun since we were in the Orange Islands. Or in my case…" Brock began to twitch, and Riolu unceremoniously kicked him in the shin.

"Trust me, it's quicker and less painful this way."

"Ash! What the hell did you do to my Squirtle?"

Gary cruised past on his Fearow, circling round and sliding down one wing to reach the friends.

"Er, what's the problem?"

"Just look!" Gary released his starter Pokémon, a Squirtle, and Ash stared at what emerged.

Gary's Squirtle was wearing star shaped sunglasses.

Ash's own Squirtle appeared from his Poké ball. "So, rival, you've taken on the challenge?"

The boy sighed. "Great. Sorry about this, Gary, but it looks like my Squirtle got yours into a certain anime."

Gary scowled. "As if I didn't know that! What's it in aid of?"

The anime is focused on the idea that pure guts and determination can overcome anything. Terrifyingly, it seems to work.

"So what should I expect from this, then?" Gary asked, sounding intrigued almost despite himself.

Roughly speaking, a complete lack of comprehension of the verb "to surrender", or for that matter "retreat". Or just caution in general. Also, battles will almost invariably end in some improbable manifestation of power. More than that is hard to say.

"Hmph. Fine, then. Smell ya later, Ashy-boy. Fearow, down here!"

The huge bird screamed out its' call and began to descend.

"Hey, I remember that particular one being a bit… psycho last time. You don't have any problems, do you?"

Gary shook his head. "You just have to know how to train a Pokémon properly."

"What, love and affection?"

"Bribery. Later!" Gary reached up and grabbed the Fearow's leg as it shot past.

Brock shook his head. "That kid is not normal."

Ash looked at him oddly. "Time travel. None of us are. At least getting around by Pokémon is safer and less unusual than driving all over the place by car at age eleven… though, since he's technically older now, I suppose you could say… argh, working all this out gives me a headache. How old AM I?"

Misty laughed. "Eleven. It's just that you finally act your age, of course!"

"Hey!"

A red beam lashed out and caught Gary's Squirtle, pulling him out of the tidal waves beginning to form in the posturing match the two turtle Pokémon were having.

"Welcome to the Fuchsia Gym, challenger. This is not some simple arena of battle, but a test of your ability to think on your feet. And, more importantly, a test of your own physical strength and dexterity."

Koga snapped his fingers, and a girl dropped from the ceiling. "Aya! Get Janine and be ready to stop them."

Aya nodded. "Yes, brother." She stepped back and vanished.

"As you may have guessed, your first task is simply to make it – without teleportation, of course - to the gym main battle room. Invisible walls will bar your way. You will have to avoid traps. And my sister and daughter will harass you from the darkness."

"Many of the trainers of Kanto have forgotten what it is like to live in a world where things are uncertain. If you have a true enemy, they will not challenge you to some kind of gladiatorial combat – they will simply eliminate you before you can react. Now, show me that you can survive, when everything is against you!"

Koga, like his sister before him, melted away into the shadows.

Ash exchanged glances with Pikachu and Riolu. "Hiding in the darkness, eh?"

"Sounds terrifying." Pikachu said, straight faced.

"I know. Absolutely horrifying. The very concept."

"The very idea of not being able to trust your own two eyes." Riolu added.

"Well, if they're hiding there's no point trying to find them. And if this is a Ninja place, then you can't rely on your sight at all. So, we better just go through with our eyes closed."

Pikachu nodded sagely. "It is the safest thing to do."

"The very safest."

Misty struggled to avoid laughing, and glanced over at Brock to see his reaction.

Predictably, he was staring at where Aya had appeared. She grabbed his ear. "Pay attention, Brock."

"Pain… cannot… distract… meeyOOOW! Okay, okay, I'm listening!"

"So, Ash, what are you planning?"

Ash grinned. "Plan? The only thing I plan on is managing to blunder through the maze without getting too badly hurt. Come on, guys."

He set off with his Pokémon into the small mansion, eyes tightly shut. After a few metres he bent down, and a small dart shot over his head. "Ooh, a coin!"

Misty shook her head, smiling. "Showoff."

Ash thudded into a wall. This was something he'd actually planned, but if he hadn't it wouldn't have made much difference – the wall was transparent, so he couldn't have spotted it anyway.

"Ow! Who put this in the way?"

"Like it?" Aya's voice came from the ceiling. She dropped down to the floor of the room, her Venonat at the ready. "It's an invisible wall, we have a lot of…them… why are your eyes closed?"

"It increases the challenge. Pikachu, Thundershock."

Her Venonat dodged the blast of electricity and began to spew out a soporific Sleep Powder, planning on fighting at an advantage-

"Riolu, your turn!" The indicated Pokémon kicked off the invisible wall and shot past Pikachu straight into the cloud of powder.

Venonat blinked, shrugged and advanced into the cloud as well. Far be it from him to deny his enemy the chance to make a fool of himself.

Aya threw a blunted knife at Ash. Part of the point of their Gym was to test the trainer physically, after all.

And he negligently dodged away from the thrown kunai with a seemingly casual toss of the head. That was strange, almost as if he was in fact-

Her Venonat flew out of the cloud, looking pretty knocked about, and a blast of electricity from Pikachu knocked the bug-type out.

"How did he do that?"

Ash cocked his head. "Hmmm?"

"How did your Riolu manage to fight inside a cloud of Sleep Powder?" To the side, the cloud burst in a flare of Aura and Riolu emerged, looking not particularly bothered from the experience.

"Oh, he worked out a counter to it weeks ago. Sort of a flowing of Aura over the skin to block the powder. Neat trick. Now, Riolu, if you wouldn't mind, I think this wall is in the way."

Aya blanched. Did he mean what she thought he meant?

"Brick break!"

Riolu nodded and slammed out a powerful punch at the transparent wall, smashing it to pieces.

"That's mean!" came a voice from the ceiling.

Ash looked up. "Is that Janine, then?"

Behind him, a Voltorb Selfdestructed to allow Aya to break contact and retreat.

"A ninja never reveals their name to the enemy! Zubat, get him!"

Pikachu slashed upwards with a Thundershock as the Zubat dived, but it dodged and banked around for another pass. The girl, who presumably was Janine, threw a brace of shuriken at Ash.

Ash tripped over his own feet, falling to the floor with a thump and conveniently dodging the shuriken.

She threw a kunai. He rolled over and crouched to get up, and the weapon missed.

"Stop making fun of me!"

"Good news, I don't need to anymore. Bad news, well…" Ash pointed.

She looked, and saw her Zubat caught in a web of electricity.

"Like it? It's an Electroweb, as the look of it might suggest. Surrender."

She shook her head. "I won't give up! I have to accomplish the mission, at any cost-"

"Thunder wave."

She fell off the ceiling, paralyzed, and hit the floor with an impressive sounding thump. Ash winced.

"That's going to leave a mark. Well, we better be going. That wall next, Riolu."

Koga frowned as the Trainer and Riolu on the screen smashed their way through the walls of the mansion towards the arena proper, and the Pikachu kicked a Voltorb out of the way without detonating it. That earlier confrontation hadn't been very big on dignity for poor Janine, either.

"I swear, trainers these days… One of these days I'll find an airtight way of setting the challenge."

A shadow detached itself from the wall. "You going to want me to help, sir?"

Koga shook his head, familiar with the way his daughter's Pokémon spoke. "No, that won't be necessary. Besides, you're skilful but only that, Meowzie. Reports from other Gyms say he's a strong one."

"I understand. I suppose it'll take more time for me to gain the strength I need."

Koga nodded. "It's a good thing Janine and I happened to be in Hollywood that day, but your life before coming to the Gym wasn't exactly that of a battler."

She melted back into invisibility as Ash and his Pokémon came through the wall.

"Hey, look at that, I think we made it!"

"And with that, we can say we could do the course blindfold. Fun."

Ash opened his eyes once more, to see a rather annoyed Koga standing across the room from him.

"So, er, what now? Proper battle?"

"Yes. Now is simply a proper, nothing-unusual Pokémon battle."

The boy rubbed the back of his head. "Is the hole in the wall going to be a problem?"

"No, as there is no hole."

Ash started and glanced round. There was a set of planks crudely hammered over the breach in the wall. "When did that happen?"

"Ninja builders. Specifically, Ninjask builders."

"Neat. Now, any restrictions on the battle itself?"

"Only that no Pokémon used in traversing the gym may be used in the battle itself. Now, choose your first Pokémon!" So saying, Koga released his own Venonat.

Ash grinned. "This is probably going to make the whole gym damage thing worse, but what the hell. Charizard!"

Koga flickered to safety as the huge dragon half-filled the room. "That's not really fair, boy."

"You outlined the restrictions, not me. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to hide. Dexter, set up some Light Screens."

Stand by, ready. Set up. Light screen.

"Charizard!" Ash's now-muffled voice called. "Set up a Flare Blitz but don't execute it, just maintain the fire layer. Then proceed as you see fit."

Charizard roared, a rippling curtain of flame forming all across his scales, and Koga winced. The floor was already charring, and that was entirely aside from the fact that the curtain would make it nearly impossible to use any poison attacks. With those removed, his Pokémon didn't have many options that could work to damage a fire/flying type, so…

"I concede. You have outmanoeuvred me."

Ash blinked. "What?"

"Finally! I was starting to wonder if you were impossible to surprise. Anyway, yes. Since you can perceive things while your eyes are closed, deception is no help. You have put me into an untenable tactical position, and since you also possess a Poison type and a Flying type of presumably similar skill, my Gym is highly vulnerable to you. Hence, I confer upon you the Soul Badge."

Charizard looked faintly disappointed as Ash recalled him.

"Six down, two to go!" Ash called as he returned to the entrance chamber.

"Yes, Ash, there are only two Gyms on your planned Kanto path you have not pretty much levelled." Misty said waspishly.

"Now, Misty, that's not true." Brock said soothingly. "Mine escaped without much damage."

"Well, bully for you then."

"Though according to one of dad's emails, some girl with an Abra demolished the place a few months ago."

Aya called from across the room, where none of the three had seen her. "A girl with an Abra? Might have been the challenger we had here some months back. They beat the challenge course by teleporting, then her Cubone beat my brother's entire team at once."

Ash, Brock and Misty shared looks. "You don't think…"

"Those sneaky beggars! They're doing the Gym Challenge too!"

"Well, at least they're not mucking around with mine." Ash muttered. "Though apparently we're worse apart than when they're dogging my every step."

"That is a scary thought."

"Agreed." Pikachu said fervently.

"Right, now that's out of the way, we have a far more important question. What do we do for the race?"

"Oh, that Laramie ranch thing? Er, the Fuchsia Free-For-All? Let's see… Team Rocket spooked that girl Lara's Tauros at the behest of some guy… Dario, then we all took part, I got stopped at the water, and you rode the Ponyta that inexplicably evolved into a Rapidash." Brock said, trying to remember everything.

Misty snapped her fingers. "Oh, that. Ash, do you emit some kind of evolution rays or something? Every single Pokémon you get involved with seems to evolve. It's almost annoying."

Riolu looked himself over. "I'm not seeing it."

"Give it time. I mean, look at me. First honorary evolved Pokémon in history."

Ash considered. "Well, I think we can enter me on Pidgeot, and then everything else becomes academic, doesn't it?"

"Is that even allowed?"

"We better find out. If not Pidgeot, then next is probably Charizard, then I don't know. Most of my Pokémon are pretty small."

Misty rubbed her hands in glee. "Gyarados Gyarados Gyarados…"

"Misty, it's the Pokémon that repeats the name over and over again."

Misty slapped him in the face with a surprised Goldeen. "No more lip from you, mister Ketchum."

"Sorry, the rules state that you can't use a Pokémon capable of flight."

Ash nodded and sighed, so much for that. "Okay, I'd like to enter… Pikachu, Squirtle, you okay with this?"

"Yeah, sure."

"This will be a great challenge! My burning spirit and icy will combine to give the purest-"

Pikachu cut Squirtle off. "He says yes."

"Okay. As I was saying, my Pikachu and Squirtle as a team."

The organizer raised his eyebrows, but noted it down on a clipboard.

"Hey, Ash! Fancy meeting you here!"

Ash spun. "James?"

"The very same." James snapped out a little fan. "I thought it sounded like a good idea to compete, so here I am. Oh, organizer, I'm entering with my Arcanine, Growlie."

Ash stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You know, I've never really understood how this kind of race works. I mean, some Pokémon are a heck of a lot faster than others – they ban those that can fly, but apart from that?"

James agreed. "Very strange. Stranger still when it seems to work."

"Well, hello to y'all! Name's Lara, Lara Laramie, of the Laramie Ranch, and if that sounds confusing imagine me learnin' it when I was young."

"Pleased to meet you." Ash replied. Lara was a nice person, after all she'd been willing to let him take her place in the race and had sent him the occasional letter over the years. Whatever had been the source, she took Ash's membership in her clan seriously.

"Well, as you can probably guess, I'm getting' ready for the race. This here's the Ponyta I'm planning on riding. You got to have a lot of trust to ride one, those flames work like most Fire types with expressed fire. They burn you unless the Pokémon tries specifically not to."

Ash gave a wry grin. "Now that's something I'm familiar with. My Charizard…"

"Yeah, I can see how that works." Lara flashed a smile, then something seemed to occur to her. "Are you takin' part?"

"What, in the race? No, I don't have a Pokémon to ride. Everything I have is either too small or a Flying type."

"Aw, too bad. Still, that kinda thing happens, and what can ya do."

As the two continued making small talk, a man ran over to them. "Lara, all your Tauros are getting' rowdy!"

Lara blinked, and swung her Ponyta round. "Well, I better get over there then. Thanks, Dario."

"My pleasure." Ash glanced at Dario as Lara left, and spotted an unpleasant glint in his eye.

Remembering what happened last time, he set off towards the cattle pens, intent on kicking the Rockets if they were behind this one. Again.

She may have been banned from the race, but Pidgeot was perfectly allowable outside it. On her back, Ash made it to the Tauros pen only a few seconds after Lara, and dropped to the ground as she sent out her Growlithe to try and maintain order.

It was at that point he realized he'd left Pikachu behind. So much for the quick solution to a stampede. "Ivysaur, everything you can to stop those Tauros if they start charging, but don't hurt them!"

"Thanks for the help, I- whoah!" Her Ponyta reared in sudden fright, and Ash shivered in a similar atavistic reaction to something he couldn't quite place.

Shrugging it off, he lunged forward and managed to take the firey Pokémon's bridle before it threw Lara off completely.

"Calm down, please, you don't want to hurt your trainer, do you, please just stay calm…" Ash knew he was babbling, but one of Lara's letters as had been had mentioned something about the tone of voice being important, especially with Ponyta like hers. Though, at the time it had been a Rapidash…

His train of thought derailed as a familiar glow erupted. Of course. Ash Ketchum, better than an elemental stone. That hadn't been a memory transfer, he knew, it was just luck.

Lara looked down at her much calmer – and larger – Pokémon. "Well, I got to say, that's not what normally happens when she meets someone new!"

Ash rolled his eyes, and grinned. "This is the story of my life. Feels like every single time I get within ten feet of someone's unevolved Pokémon, and it evolves. You know that happened to two Gym Leaders now? One of them I didn't even fight."

Lara looked thoughtful. "Tell ya what, then. How's about you ride Rapidash here in the race tomorrow?"

Ash blinked. "Pardon?"

"Well, ah was thinking, if I were to win the race then all I'd be getting would be honorary membership in my own clan. Whereas if you were to win, then it'd be a kind of payback for helpin' me out here."

"Well, I'm flattered, but it depends on Rapidash."

"'course. Tell ya what, come round later and I'll see how you two get along."

"James, I recently found that Lara's Tauros were spooked. Since I know that last time you were the one behind it, I'm of course a little suspicious."

James looked offended. "Don't look at me, I've been training with Growlie. Mainly in not falling off, he's really fast. I don't know, but Dario hired us based on us being Rockets rather than anything else, so he could have got some other set of Grunts to do it in place of us."

"Yeah, I suppose. But nothing came of it anyway – well, something did. I might be in the race after all, and I'll expect a good challenge!"

"Oh? That Lara girl going to sponsor you, as it were?"

"That's the plan. Here's hoping it works out."

"Well, you're doing pretty well, Ash! I guess it must be ridin' those Flying types, after that I imagine a little Rapidash must be a piece'a cake."

Ash grinned, and wobbled slightly before readjusting his weight. "Yeah, that could be part of it. Spending most of the night on it helps too."

"So, girl, you up for it?" Rapidash whinnied an affirmative. "Then ah think you should get a little sleep, Ash. It's only a few hours till the race, and all the trainin' in the world won't do you any if you fall off."

"Sure." Ash carefully slid a leg over and dismounted. "Wake me in time to get ready, please. I don't know how long it'll take."

"You want to register? But there's only one of you."

Negative. I am able to materialize, and will be the mount for this race.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Two Pokémon-only teams, who'd have thought it. Just one thing, I assume I'm speaking to a Porygon? No levitation above a foot."

Understood.

"Good morning, and welcome to the Fuchsia Free For All. This is, as I'm sure you know, a Pokémon and trainer race around a long and diverse terrain course. Now, it looks like there's some faces from further afield than normal today, as well as a much more diverse selection of Pokémon. That looks like an Arcanine, you don't see many of them around, and there's… hang on, are we sure the cameras are working?"

Delia blinked, looked closer, and dashed from the house. "Samuel! Samuel, you've got to see this!"

Kingler looked up. "Sounds like Ash did something else impressive enough to be on TV."

Primeape turned to him. "Else? Sorry, last time around I was too busy training to pay much attention."

"You're in for a fun few years then."

Delia skidded into the Lab and snatched up a remote control, flicking through the channels to the one she'd been watching. "Look!"

Professor Oak frowned. "Is that Ash? And his friends, and… oh, only you, Ash."

The TV presenter was panning over the starting lineup again, much more slowly, to get the full impact of the… unusual… competitors. A boy of no more than eleven riding a Rapidash that their local contact assured them was one of the prestigious Laramie Ranch breed. Two Gym Leaders. Someone in an unusual outfit with blue hair, crouched over an Arcanine. And, just to top it off, a Pikachu on a Squirtle and a Riolu on a Porygon.

"What do they do if one of the Pokémon teams wins?"

"Honorary membership and a lot of careful translation from Ash, I assume, I doubt they thought this through."

The announcer was still talking. "Well, it seems that the lineup is indeed correct. We're as surprised as you are, folks, but it looks like this free-for-all is going to be a good one! And they're starting the countdown now… and they're off!"

Ash was no stranger to speed, not even only considering his second try – indeed, especially not, as Pidgeot was one of the fastest species of Pokémon on the planet. But there was something different about riding Rapidash. Somehow, despite the faint ache in muscles unused to the load, despite the up-and-down motion that could be avoided in mid air, despite the uncomfortable warmth of Rapidash' mane… it felt right. Sure, he'd be paying for it once he was back on his own two feet, but until then he felt he could lose himself in the sheer flowing joy of the gallop.

And then James pulled alongside, waving from Growlie's back, and he had to bring himself back to the here and now.

"Nice Pokémon you have there. Pretty good… for a little pony." Ash felt Rapidash balk at the insult, and ran his hand soothingly through her mane, the flames not bothering him.

"Oh, and your pup's any better, James? You may have a slight speed advantage, but this is a long race, and I'm sure she can outlast you."

This time Growlie lived up to his name by growling in irritation, and James patted him on the flank. "We'll see, Ash. We'll see."

A thunderous crash sounded behind them, and both risked a glance round. They saw a Rhyhorn and a Nidorina doing their level best to beat each other into the ground. "That looks familiar."

"Agreed. I think our idea about other Rockets in the area just got confirmed. And Dario's still ahead of us, something profoundly unnatural's been done to that Dodrio."

James squinted ahead. "I think I see the hill section, watch out for pit traps there – it's a good place for them."

"Sure. Looks like a good ambush spot as well, I suggest we take it at a run. Rapidash, ready?"

James turned to focus on Growlie. "Ready, boy?"

Their voices blended. "Flame charge!"

Cassidy surveyed her work with satisfaction. This was one of her favourite sections of the modified course, for the intricacy. A series of Grass Knots all over the area, intended to handle the Pokémon speeding up for the difficult hill section, and a fake bit of ground just past the apex, to catch Pokémon tired after the long slope and moving slower.

Dario shot past, the set of X Speed he'd used giving his Dodrio amazing velocity while they lasted, and she watched as he picked his way seemingly randomly up the slope, passing through the one clear lane. It had taken a while to get the Dodrio to remember the course, but it had worked, and now-

Two saffron blurs of flame blasted past her vantage point, stumbling slightly on the knots but passing them without much difficulty, and set the entire trapped area of grass on fire. It was going to burn out fast, it had rained recently, but the knotted grass of the traps was more exposed and simply crumbled to ashes.

Cursing, she clicked a signal to Butch to prepare the next trap set, and began moving to the home straight barely a hundred metres away.

Misty's Gyarados blasted out a Water Pulse to contain what fires there still were, and she and Brock charged up the slope behind the two fire types. Dexter, a Nidorino, Rhyhorn, Sandslash, Electrode and about a dozen other Pokémon followed.

Then there was a gap. Quite a long one, actually.

Finally, huffing extravagantly, Squirtle staggered to a halt at the bottom of the hill. "It's no good, the magma of my soul is cooling off."

"Oh, give it a rest." Pikachu groaned.

"Sounds like a good idea."

"Right, big hill. Hmm…" Pikachu snapped his claws, and a corona of electricity blossomed around him. Squirtle yelped.

"Stay away from me with that stuff!"

"Your shell's non conductive, right?" Squirtle nodded warily. "Then give us some jet propulsion!" Pikachu grabbed the protesting turtle by the top of the shell, and gradually rose into the air as the Magnet Rise took effect. "Squirtle, use Water Gun! Wow, it really is pretty thrilling to give orders like that…"

Squirtle's blast of water sent them shooting off up the hill, prompting several of the race officials to start frantically checking the rulebooks.

Ash urged Rapidash into a jump clear over the pit trap, having spotted it with a quick Aura scan, and James shot past to one side of it, recognizing it as a good spot to put a trap and wanting no part of it.

As the two sped down the hill, jockeying for second place, a crash sounded behind them and once again they risked looking.

Brock's Steelix had just fallen in the hole. However, since Steelix are enormous, this hadn't slowed the Pewter man down much and led to the pit being elongated into a central trench down the slope.

Dario vanished over the river ahead as they turned back, and Ash gathered himself for that obstacle. "Bounce, Rapidash!"

James raised an eyebrow. "Tricky… Growlie, use Extremespeed!"

The Arcanine blurred briefly into invisibility, jumping from stone to stone so fast that the water plumed up from the wind of his passing.

Rapidash daintily landed next to the other Fire type as he slowed back to normal, and the two continued charging forwards.

Dario cursed – the trick stepping stones apparently hadn't done anything, at least not to the two front runners. His whole plan was to get such a lead in the early stages of the race to make it an easy victory when the X Speed wore off, but if those two were…

He snarled, and urged Dodrio on. Those Rockets he hired had better be of some damned use!

Ash felt Rapidash's fatigue as they galloped up to the food section of the course, the mare not used to going so fast for so long. As she slowed to a halt at her plate, Ash swung off to let her rest. It wouldn't be much, but it was something, and that was the best he could give her.

Dario had already departed, apparently not having had the co-ordination problems of last time, and Growlie gobbled his entire plate in a single bite, letting James speed off with a cocky grin. Ash winced, but refused to despair. The final part of the course was a long straight, and the rest should let Rapidash get her second wind. Then he could really let her run.

Sonic form.

Dexter abruptly shot forward at massive speed, having calculated that his energy reserves would allow him to maintain the boost for the entire remainder of the course.

"Er, Dexter?" Riolu asked, holding a map open against the wind. "You know how the next part of the course is a food-eating thing?"

Affirmative.

"Aren't you, er, non-biological?"

…Correct. Now I'm annoyed, it would appear we have no chance of winning. The rules are vague on everything from what happens to Laramie clan members taking part, to method of propulsion- Riolu looked back at the wildly fishtailing forms of Pikachu and Squirtle – but on that matter they are rigid. The mount, not the rider, must eat the plate of food.

"Well, we can at least make a good show, right?"

Professor Oak stared at the screen. "That's not something I would have expected."

The announcer's voice was shocked. "That just can't be legal! Folks, there's a Raticate on the course, and it looks like it's barring that Arcanine in second from moving forward with a Scary Face!"

Delia fretted. "Oh, I hope Ash is okay…"

"Come on, girl, not much further now." Ash swung back onto Rapidash' back as she finished eating, and got moving again shortly before Riolu and Brock arrived at the halt station.

The two cantered round the corner… straight into the area of effect of the Raticate's attack. Ash felt his muscles turn to water and seize up at the same time, and from Rapidash' trembling she wasn't doing any better.

Butch smirked from behind his rock. This was pretty blatant cheating, but only to those who knew Dario was behind it. At this stage, it could still – barely – be considered the actions of a wild Pokémon, and-

Thwack!

Then he was in the air, landing right behind Raticate. Staggering back to his feet, he saw Jessie, an Abra over her shoulder and a Cubone brandishing a Thick Club in front of her.

She gave a wicked grin. "Well, well, wouldn't have expected to meet you here, bit-"

"It's BUTCH! Why can nobody EVER get that right? Raticate, get her!" Jessie's Cubone jumped to intercept Butch' Raticate, and the two got into a swirling melee.

Butch caught a glint in Jessie's eye. "What are you so pleased about?"

"You missed the racers. They've all got past your blocking position."

He winced. "Damnit!"

"Come on, not far now. I know you're tired, but I think I can help." Ash spoke a litany of encouragement for Rapidash, putting action to words by calling up much of his own Aura and channelling it into the fire Pokémon.

"Okay, ready? Agility!"

Rapidash took the offered energy, and began to sprint. She quickly caught up to James and Growlie, who increased their own speed to match, and up ahead Ash caught sight of Dario and his Dodrio.

Ash and James shared a wicked grin.

"Let's blow right past him! Flare Blitz!"

Dario felt his Dodrio slowing as the artificial boosts wore off, and frowned. He wasn't certain of his victory, but as long as that Rocket did his job, then-

Fwooom!

Twin blurs of flame shot past on either side.

Then a vector model of a bird in pink and blue.

Then a Steelix, a Gyarados, then a whole swarm of Pokémon and riders.

Finally, just as things seemed to be calming down again, his Dodrio was tripped as it evaded a blue shell that rocketed past in a spiking corona of electricity.

The announcer blinked. "Isn't that something that normally happens in Marillkart?"

Cassidy tracked the two racers through her binoculars. "Drowzee, make that Rapidash rider fall off! Primeape, get the Arcanine!"

Her two Pokémon, one borrowed from Butch for this last-ditch ambush, complied. Primeape went first, leaping with a scream from cover.

By now Ash was tired, aching and just a little annoyed at how complicated the race had gotten. So when what appeared to be a wild Pokémon leapt towards him from the trees, he reacted in the only sensible way.

Butch' Primeape was caught by a materializing Pidgeot and thrown into the distance as Drowzee went to work. Focusing his potent hypnotic powers, he reached out to the mind of the younger rider… and found nothing at all.

By the time he was over his shock, they were past and out of range. Cassidy briefly entertained the notion of just giving up.

Then she realized that the Pidgeot was still in the area and beat a hasty retreat.

"And it's a photo finish, ladies and gentlemen! The winner and the runner up, whichever of the two each turns out to be, have managed to take an early position near the front of the field and defend that against whatever came their way, from other racers to actual sabotage!"

Professor Oak leant back. "Well, that was impressive."

Lara walked up to Ash, where he was standing on wobbly legs beside a tired Rapidash and clumsily attempting to rub her down.

"Nice work, Ash! Oh, thought I'd let'ya know. I don't really care which of the two of you and that James fellow turn out to have won. I'm the one who decides who else gets into the clan, and I say I'd be honoured to have you both."

She then gave an appraising look at Rapidash. "And I gotta say, you certainly gave her a good run! In fact," she grinned teasingly, "that was positively rapid, Ash!"

Ash stared at her in shock, then slumped to the floor. "Always with the bad puns… why?"

"With all due respect, oh Arceus, prime mover, deity of deities, initiator of all that is… you've gone mad."

I don't see how. I mean, we're running out of games to keep ourselves amused in here.

"A three legged race is not a good idea! Especially not when two of those involved are quadrupedal, two are bipedal, and both pairs are on grossly different scales!"

Fine, fine. What about a game of Tale of the Five Swords?

Sir Aaron frowned. "How do you play that?"

Like this.

Arceus glowed with ethereal light, and reality blossomed around them.

There. You are now a member of the Crane clan in a version of the Home Islands lacking in Pokémon. Your objective is to advance your status and uphold your honour. Dialga and Palkia are members of two of the other clans. Have fun.

"Does this even fit in our reality bubble?"

Yes. Because I say so, and because we have Palkia with us.

AN: That chapter got a bit out of control. Still, that's the last of my already written material up, and the fic into that bit of the anime plotline where they realized it was becoming a hit. So the story got strange and gyms became few and far between.

And yes, I just got Dario with a blue shell. That actually came about by chance, the idea only came after I had them in the air and blasting along.