Death and Beyond..

Death is overrated. Like seriously, there's nothing which inspires fear among us as much as the concept of death ever can. As someone who has experienced death once, I can confidently say that death is not that scary. What's actually scary is the period immediately prior to your death, like those final moments or something like that, when your organs stop functioning one by one, when your body shuts down and you just lie there, trying to move, to breathe, to do anything to distract yourself from the plain torture of sense deprivation you are going through, absolutely anything to think of anything but the feeling of futility and the inevitability of death.

Wow-oka-That's weird, I died?! but I am sure that I am not supposed to be this calm about it.

Wait! Who am I? So attempting to find your true self, a self-enquiry after death, huh? What next, pondering on the true meaning of life?

Focus Max, focus! It's not the time for jokes! Ah Yes! I am Max, a historian.. or rather, I was one... But I don't seem to remember my past, my family, my hobbies, or pretty much any fact that actually matters from my life. My memory seems fragmented, with most of my early as well as later days both are lost, and even in the memories there are no faces, or identities and all that's left are facts and information which is useless now.

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Time passes meaninglessly. It is impossible to determine how much time has passed or if it even is passing anymore or if I am stuck in a void where time itself has been paused. Even now I have no sensations or a body for that matter and it feels like I am floating in a vacuum. There is nothing here, I can't feel a thing, I am surrounded by emptiness, and left alone here with nothing but my thoughts for company. I wonder if this is hell, being left alone to overthink and keep second guessing your entire life for eternity..

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Fucking Finally! There's a change in the situation, nothing extreme, but in my surroundings I can feel a new feeling, instead of the usual emptiness, I feel a novel feeling, one which feels like.. Adventure? No matter what, I am going to do something about it. This should be the first time I actually do something for me, what happens shall be seen later.

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Trying to move was a new experience, but soon the novelty wore off. I tried moving earlier, but I couldn't actually feel anything then, but now as I floated..(or glided maybe?) toward the source of that variation, I could actually feel something. I could see my body, or whatever remained of it now. I was now a small globule of light which streaked across a vast backdrop of ink black void towards a white hole which glowed and pulsed with bright violet lights. This amazing scene and unbelievable scenario would have been more than enough to blow my mind if not for the fact that that I was but one of the thousands of globules heading towards the same white hole, (or should it be called a purple hole?) I was not the first to reach the vicinity of the portal (neither white hole nor purple hole but portal, cuz why not), but nobody had actually managed to enter it as it released its own gravity and released a strong repulsive force on all the globules. It was a war of attrition, with all the globules crawling towards it at an ant's pace and pushing each other aside and barely making any progress.

Haahaha! I cannot stop myself from laughing at this absurd thing happening in front of me. This is the literal demonstration of the quote "Life is a Race", and since I have decided to stop caring about others, then I should be "Ready to Trample" others for that fucking portal is now mine!

I rushed into the glowing mass of light and started shoving my way forward towards the portal. Maybe the others were not as accustomed to their current forms as I was, or maybe they became a bit mentally weaker or due to some other reason, I was able to grab onto other globules and pull them back while using them as a board to launch myself forward and soon managed to reach very close to the portal. However it seems I was too late for there was already one globule which had almost reached the portal and was about to enter it.

Was this the end? Is this the story of my life? No matter what I do, am I not allowed happiness?

I was not angry, I was wrathful for anger cannot describe the intensity of emotions I felt at that moment. I blasted forward at a speed which should have been impossible considering the repulsion, and I(the globule) started glowing a vibrant crimson shade. The very moment that first globule was about to enter the portal, with the portal seeming to flicker and shake as if in anticipation, I reached the globule and FUCKING ATE IT and entered the portal, losing consciousness before I could understand anything that happened with just one thought in my mind- WHAT THE FUCK!!