41 Chapter 41: War of Hearts

Why don't you understand?

Why can't you let me be?

Why must you push me so far?

I'd made my decision—the least you could do is honor it.

My determination to escape your grasp, your influence, it wavers ever so slightly with every word.

Did you know…?

Before I'd even realized, l was already a prisoner of your affection. 

Something unimaginable…

Like no one I'd ever known, you had me captive, drowning with no hope of escape.

But you…don't even seem to care.

"...This whole time, you were jealous, right?"

You bastard.

A fresh wound…

A fresh wound that had been forcefully ripped open.

Take a look at what you've done, you careless guy.

You're appalling.

You're incorrigible.

Haa…

Right, you were always like this.

Was it your intention to provoke me?

To make me miserable?

Do my feelings, my resolve, mean nothing to you?

I mean, honestly…

Am I merely an object of your amusement?

"It's interesting though, actually. Since… It seems you weren't even aware of it yourself." 

Don't…

Don't fuck with me, Azi.

If it was that obvious, if it was so clear to you, then why…

Why do you keep toying with me…?

What kind of reaction are you hoping for?

Goddamnit…

Just what do you want from me…!?

Even as you open your mouth, even as you prepare to cut through my facade…

You disregard my pleas, ignore my desires and—

"I think… You don't ever want to leave my side."

I snapped.

And before I knew it…

My arm was already outstretched, straight and unwavering.

My hand, small but powerful, released a disastrous aura that emanated pure wrath, a blind rage stemming from the depths of my heart. 

Unseen to the naked eye, a lethal blade formed, an incomparably dangerous attack. 

Compressed to its maximum extent, my forcefield, my 'Dimension Cleaver', escaped my palm.

Just a flick of my hand, a mere twitch of my fingers, was enough to unleash hell.

*FWOO!—CRSHH!—CRSHH!—CRSHHHHHH!!!*

The entire area shook violently, like a mini catastrophe had suddenly struck.

Rocks of varying sizes tumbled to the ground as the unstoppable blade gouged deep furrows into the wall, leaving behind a long, narrow gash.

Clouds of dust and debris rose from the area of devastation, obscuring my view of 'That Man'.

The hastened pounding of my heart thundered from within my chest.

The loud ringing of my ears pierced through the white haze clouding my mind.

I…did I just…

No…I didn't mean to…

The surroundings gradually became clear to me as darkness withdrew.

Confusion, disbelief, and one most prominent—horror.

I looked down at my trembling hands, blankly staring at the paleness of my palms.

Strands of white hair dangled over my eyes, obscuring the view ahead.

"Azi…"

Against my will, my mouth opened, voicing out his name in clear distress.

Although the cracking of my voice made me feel all the more pathetic, I wasn't concerned with that.

It took all the willpower I had to keep from rushing over immediately, but as the dust cloud finally receded, I stiffened at once.

Beyond the thick, floating debris was a faint outline, a figure that remained unforgettable to me.

The tension in my limbs.

It relaxed.

The tightening of my chest.

It subsided.

The aching hollowness eating away at me.

It was made whole once more.

Upon seeing him step out unscathed, walking in the same casual manner as usual, it was a strange feeling.

One I couldn't describe in words.

But if there was one thing I could say with certainty…

I was relieved.

However, it was also natural, since my attack…had missed him entirely.

But though I knew from the start that there was no way I'd injure him with such an attack, the notion of harming him still brought me immense discomfort.

"So you're trying to hit me now… Is this how my tender care gets rewarded? Ah…just where did I go wrong…"

A flickering ember.

As if gasoline had been poured all over my feelings and set aflame, being made useless.

Why did I even bother?

"You… You tactless—"

But it's fine, I'll make you care.

*CRSSShhhhhhhHHHHH!!!!*

"Insensitive…!"

Even if I have to collapse the sky.

*CrrrrrrrRRRSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!*

"PRICK!"

I'll wipe that annoying look off your face.

*CCCCccccRRRRrrrrrSSSSHHHHH!!!!*

Like the apocalypse had come.

Like the end of the world was nigh.

The ground quaked and shook incessantly with each and every swing.

A powerful force, one that promised an instant death, gushed out ceaselessly.

My fury was unabated.

However, my eyes suddenly widened, reflecting the shock I otherwise failed to convey.

'That Man', standing in the midst of the destruction I had wrought.

He—

Rather than retreating, he took another step forward.

"Why…"

For a moment, my arms faltered.

But he continued walking toward me, completely unperturbed.

His clothes, fluttering wildly as my attacks narrowly missed him by a few inches, remained untouched.

There was no surprise.

No fear.

No apprehension.

There was nothing.

Just an unshakable composure that couldn't ever be broken.

"Why…?"

Without my knowledge, my feet slowly began to inch backward.

Little by little.

One leg after the other. 

I unconsciously attempted to increase the distance between us, but regardless of my intentions, he seemed determined on getting closer.

"Stop…stop moving…!"

Gritting my teeth, I swiftly flicked my wrist once more, releasing yet another 'Dimension Cleaver'.

And yet, like last time, it flew straight past him, merely disheveling his hair a bit.

Even if I tried…I wasn't able to stop his approach.

"There's…"

"Huh…?"

He suddenly spoke, causing me to flinch in surprise.

"There's something I've been confused about this whole time, and…"

Tilting his head, his radiant pale golden eyes remained fixed on me.

"I really can't seem to shake it…"

Not bothering to ponder the meaning behind his words, I continued attacking just as he also continued closing the distance.

However, it seemed he wasn't finished.

"You see, I wondered why you acted the way you did, but I think I finally got the picture."

*CRSSSSHHHHHH!!*

The ground trembled, pebbles and debris fell from the ceiling, but he still drew near even as everything was falling apart.

And despite my ferocity, the barrage of attacks aimed in his direction held no killing intent, not even the intent to harm.

I couldn't do it.

No, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

My mind, subconscious and unconscious…

My heart, body and soul…

Refused to harm this man in any way.

But the craziest part about it was… He somehow knew that as well.

"You thought you could leave it all behind."

Like a demon's whisper, a sweet corruption.

"You wanted to abandon the so-called shackles that tied you down."

"Stop…! That's enough, Azi!"

I wanted to stop him.

I wanted him to quit before he exposed any more than he already had.

"You were afraid of becoming addicted to what you had gotten so used to."

"No, don't… stop moving, stop….!"

But as if my voice held no amount of weight, he brushed my words aside without a care.

His sharp, half opened eyes curled mirthfully.

"You're really imaginative… That's wild…"

The reason he provoked me to this extent, I finally started to realize.

"But you seem to be mistaken about something, so let me clarify it for you…"

He forcefully drew out what I was unwilling to show, and…

"I don't know what gave you the idea, but… Leaving was never really an option."

He gave me no other choice but to comply.

My back collided against the hard labyrinth wall behind me as he stood but a couple feet away.

Slowly, he leaned in, so close that I could catch a brief whiff of his scent.

"...And you'll have to stay, since I won't let you go."

Just like that, I was trapped.

No, that's not it.

If I truly desired to escape him, I…I wouldn't have waited for him to come and get me.

It was already too late.

The strength I had been so proud of, it meant nothing.

Even now, his overbearing and possessive words sounded sweet, like a flavor I just couldn't get enough of.

Hopeless.

Yue and I were different, that was what I kept telling myself.

The words I repeated over and over again.

Lies.

But in truth, I only wished for him to want me as much as I wanted him.

To cherish me as much as he did Yue, if not more.

I already understood that keeping him for myself was impossible, and this dilemma in itself was frustrating enough to tear my hair out.

I didn't want to settle for less, honestly, yet it seemed that after all this time, the situation had gone out of my control.

From the moment we first met, we somehow both knew what was bound to happen.

So why…

"Why…"

He stood before me, tall and unwavering, but I still refused to look up and meet his gaze.

"Why are you tormenting me, Azi…?"

I stared down at his shoes, bangs covering my eyes as I questioned in a small voice.

It was an unbroken cycle.

I tormented myself with false hopes while he merely watched my foolishness.

Blaming him was my only escape, but—

"Tormenting you…? It's not nice to tell lies. Let's practice a little honesty."

An answer I should've expected.

He wouldn't let up even at this point.

But regardless of that, there was still one thing I needed to know.

And depending on his response, I would—

"So… what does this mean?"

A subtle change in the atmosphere, I could feel it.

"Hmm…I won't understand if you don't explain it to me..."

No, he understood.

"Moron…"

I mumbled under my breath, before letting out a faint snicker upon noticing the intensity of his gaze.

"...I'm saying, does this mean you feel the same about me…as you do Yue…?"

I half expected him to either skate around the question as per usual or leave it unanswered, but to my surprise…

"It's gotten complicated, hasn't it?"

Butterflies danced around in my stomach, accompanied by a pleasant warmth spreading throughout my chest.

I didn't need it written out in bold text.

I knew.

The brittle shield guarding my heart slowly began to crumble.

"I'm guessing you still wouldn't choose just me over her, right?"

"That's unlikely."

An immediate reply, one that caused my lips to curl into a bitter smile.

Yet, this fact didn't devastate me.

On the contrary, this was to be expected. 

"Haa… You're unfair."

I sighed, leaning forward until I was off balance.

With a soft tap, my head gently rested against his sturdy chest.

"...I'm plenty fair."

The vibrations from his deep voice sent shivers throughout my body.

And for some reason, I felt inexplicably safe in his presence.

"Yea? And how is that?"

Finally, I lifted my head, gazing up at him.

"I'm not good with words, so I'll have to show you."

I stood upon the tips of my toes as he too closed the distance.

"I hate you."

His warm breath brushed against my skin.

I stared into his captivating eyes, observing a handsome face I felt like I could never stop looking at.

As he parted his lips, his voice escaped, laced with pure confidence and certainty.

"…No you don't."

Yea, he was exactly right.

There was no use in denying it any longer.

I was…

No—

I'm…in love with you, Azi.

______________________

Alright, so first, I'd like to start off by saying that this is the first thing I'm going to say and I'm going to begin speaking about what I'm going to start by saying.

Secondly, what I'm going to say next is the second- okay, I'll stop.

So...

Just to inform the fellow humans, aliens, and FBI that might be reading this, I'm not going to drop this story if I can help it.

I was distracted before and had lost some motivation to write, but I'm good now. I'll try to post regularly(if i can), even if it means posting shorter chapters(please believe me).

And finally, this is the last thing I'm going to-(okay, okay, for real this time)

Those who have been power stoning my story thus far, I present to thee my humblest gratitude.

Yea, I'm looking at you.

I hadn't even been posting but you still waited for me *Sniff*.

We're childhood friends now.