Dread

I think I blacked out for a moment.

By the time I came to my senses, Mina was exiting the rooftop, turned around, and waved to me with a very happy smile.

My hand moved on its own and waved back to her as a reflex, but I don't think my face returned the smile.

I felt like my heart got ripped out of my body and my head was full of loud thumping sounds. My lower arm muscles tensed up but I lost all my strength in my neck and my head dropped low.

Then I felt like my heart was put back in my chest, only to be ripped out again over and over.

This was more than a pang in the heart. It was fucking painful.

I had no strength to stand up. The thumping sound inside my head died out and my mind went blank and the heart came back to the right place again, but my whole body was now heavy and filled with dread from the tip of my toes to each strain of my hair.

The weight of this dread was so heavy. I did not feel my body anymore. All I could feel was just the heaviness of this infinite dread.

After that, I felt like all that mass was creating a black hole in my heart, and my whole body and soul were getting sucked into it.

A lot of time must have passed as I heard the bell signaling the end of lunchtime, but I knew there was no way I could stand up and walk down to the classroom.

I lay down on my side and curled up my body like a fetus. The smaller I became the heavier I felt.

What is happening…

How… Why…

I had no answer as thousands of questions flew around my head and I couldn't grab any of them to pin them down to give them logical consideration.

I was balling up myself so hard that my whole body was shivering like a big clenched fist.

After what felt like a big implosion inside me, all the strength in my body started to escape and I was laying on my back and went all limp.

As my mind started to clear up, the image of Mina's smiling face appeared in my mind.

You bitch.