1 Epilogue

So when I'm ready to be bolder,

And my cuts have healed with time

Comfort will rest on my shoulder

And I'll bury my future behind

I'll always keep with you with me

You'll be always on my mind

But there's a shining in the shadows

I'll never know unless I try\

Home by Gabrielle Aplin

I ran into people as I scurried past nurses and doctors to find my mother in the emergency room.Was my mother going to survive she had leukemia and it was in the final stage.I prayed as I stared at the doctor's who rushed in the emergency room none of them giving me any information on what was happening to her. Then all of a sudden I heard my name being called he asked if I was a relative of the patient. I nodded my head not trusting my voice to speak then followed him as he motioned me too. We walked into a set of doors and as soon as we were in he asked me to sit. As I scrutinized my surroundings I realised we were in his office.

"Doctor is it okay for me to see my mother?"I asked.He took off his glasses and nodded his head." I'm sorry but we did everything we could but she could not make it I'm really sorry Miss,"he said. I stood up from where I was sitting and ran back to the room she had been admitted to. I watched as they covered her with a white clock."May I pay my last regards before you take her to the morgue,"I said.

Her face was now pale and her body was cold.I moved closer to her as I touched her sprawled hair on the pillow which was chestnut brown but now it had lost it's glow.I touched her hand as I looked at her face that had the brightest of smiles now it had a sad expression attached to it.I could tell that she had cried the previous night before her sudden demise.I silently wept hoping my sorrows will be washed away by my tears.I hugged her body tight wishing that I could be like the almighty and breath life back to her.Oh mum!I cried.

I didn't know how long I stayed with her until they came and took her away leaving me alone. After leaving the hospital time went by without me noticing maybe it was because my life had lost its taste.Her burial came and still I felt detached from the outside world just trapped in my own bubble.As I watched the coffin being sank six feet beneath the ground the memories that we had together clouded my mind.My heart was breaking and my soul was bleeding I didn't know what to do where to go or who to turn to well I could not turn to anybody else because she was my only family. As soon as her burial was done my neighbours asked me where I would go.

I gave them a faint smile and told them I was to go where the road would lead me.It felt like i was living someone else's life since no emotion was present in me. I didn't care about the public school I attended since it was just not worth it anymore I had to leave the city .It was time for me to accept the scholarship Arabelle High had offered me before my mother's terminal illness I still didn't know if they would accept me.It seemed my new destination would be New Orleans that was if they accepted me.I got in contact with the school as soon as I left the cemetery and the feedback they gave me was positive that my scholarship was still in place.

It was a distance of nine hundred and seventy six miles from New Mexico to New Orleans and it would take me around sixteen hours and forty three minutes by bus.I couldn't afford to use an airplane since I was short of cash I could only afford a bus ticket from my savings.It would only cost a hundred and sixty nine dollars from Albuquerque to New Orleans and so I booked a ticket for the next day at eleven p.m and it would arrive at six forty a.m at Union Passenger Terminal.From there the school was to send someone to pick me up.I wasn't familiar with New Orleans so I had no problem with going directly to school.At the apartment I packed my clothes trying not to think about my sad past.

I stared at the unpaid bills at the table and sighed since I knew if not for the scholarship if I stayed there I would have been kicked out.I had finished packing when I noticed a golden box that held the only possession my mother left me.I took it as my fingers trembled when I opened the box trying to fight the grief.In it there was my birth certificate and a locket.I carefully opened the locket as it clicked and before me on the right was a picture of me and on the left a picture of a man who I assumed must have been my father the man who she loved until her very last breath.I felt sadness engulf me as I stared at the picture his hair was identical to mine and his eyes were just like mine I was a spitting image of him in a girl version.I now understood why sometimes my mother would look at me with tears in her eyes as she says,''You look just like him.''

I put the locket back in the box and closed it angrily hoping it would be just as easy bottling my pain.I looked around our little apartment for the last time where we had so little but we were happy and I could have never asked for more only if she got to stay.It was small but it had a bed,a couch,a kitchen and a bathroom that's all there was to it but it was enough for us.I slept on the couch and she would take the bed just the thought of her brought tears to my eyes but I was no crier I had to be strong.If she were there she would have told me to fight and fulfill my dreams and show the world what I was made of and that was exactly what I was going to do.I pulled myself together and looked at the place where I had called home for as long as I could remember saying my goodbye in my heart as I collected the memories one last time knowing I would never come back there.''Goodbye,''I whispered as a lone tear escaped my eye.