Chapter 5 Hospital Bed

Lucious, Zoey and CJ were in the middle of the field, the whole school had heard everything and CJ's secret had been revealed. CJ ran through the crowd without resistance as people made way for him to pass.

He ran through the hall again, Zander looked at him as he passed and called out his name.

"CJ!"

CJ turned around then continued running.

Zander followed him.

CJ got into his car and sped off the parking lot, thoughts were swirling through his head as he let the tears flow out, him and Lucious were over, Zoey had betrayed him,

he thought he had friends, he thought life was going on as usual without drama and without the stress of having to keep this secret, but now that the whole school knows it doesn't seem like much of a secret anymore.

CJ continued driving but tears blurred his vision, he didn't care, he didn't want to care, he had lost so much in one night, he couldn't bear it.

CJ was too deep in his thoughts to notice the red light as a car collided with his own, the last thing he remembered was the pain, not just from the crash but in his heart.

.....

Images of Lucious and Zoey were going through his head, intimate moments of love and passion, cheerful moments of laughter and friendship, then everything crashing down into a pit of darkness.

CJ struggled to open his eyes, it was hard, almost like they were swollen shut. instead he squinted, at the roof, it was familiar, he looked to the right, the window was open and sunlight was streaming through it, the light hit CJ's skin and he could feel the warmth, Lucious immediately crossed his mind, slowly images from the night before started coming back to him and the same wave of emotions rushed in, CJ tucked them in his subconscious, he had to figure out where he was, he turned left and saw someone sitting in a black leather chair, CJ wasn't sure, he couldn't see clearly, the person raised their head and noticed he was awake. They walked outside and came after a few minutes with a doctor and two nurses.

"I'm in a hospital bed" thought CJ as he turned his face upwards. He would've laughed if he could feel his mouth.

He got hurt and ended up in an actual hospital bed, he laughed in his head as he fell back into the darkness.

He woke up again, this time the person sitting beside him was asleep and was wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans.

CJ could see a bit clearer and knew who it was.

He sat up and tried opening his mouth, he found an oxygen mask on it which was why he couldn't talk.

He looked towards the window, the sun was setting and it was blasting combinations of orange and red on the horizon.

"Beautiful isn't it" said Zander.

CJ turned and looked at him, he had eye bags as if he'd stayed awake all night.

"I would paint it if I were home but instead I'm stuck here with you"

CJ didn't know how to take that comment so he just stared at Zander.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you the other day, I was just having a bad day and I shouldn't have taken it out on you"

Since CJ couldn't talk he gestured for the pad and pen on the table, Zander passed it to him and he wrote "It's okay" on it.

"I'm sure you need a doctor, I'll get him"

CJ nodded and Zander left the room, he came back with the same doctor which CJ recognized from the last time he was awake in the hospital.

The doctor did a few tests, left and came back shortly after with a folder in his hand.

"Okay Carlos, you've got a few cracked ribs, a swollen lip, a fractured femur and a few bruises on your skull, from my experience I'd say you're lucky, you could have suffered a lot worse if you're friend hadn't called immediately he found you, you'll stay here for the next week, your family's downstairs and they'll be with you shortly, oh and you can take off the mask now, your speech will return in a few minutes, until then..."

The doctor looked at the pad and pen.

"..You know what to do", the doctor left CJ and Zander in the room together.

"I know you're probably dying to see your family, I'll just take my leave"

CJ took his hand, Zander looked at him, this time CJ didn't need a pen and pad, his expression said only one thing, stay.

Zander stayed with CJ until his family arrived, his mom burst into tears on seeing her son lying in the hospital bed, his father was looking at him as if trying to convince himself that his son was okay and Hilda, she just stood there looking at CJ like he was a whole different person.

Zander stood up and left CJ with his parents, they all gathered around him, they all asked him different questions but not the one he was hoping to hear.

After hours of hearing his parents talk CJ started to get tired, his lids were getting hard to keep open.

"You must be tired and we're making all this noise, Hilda could stay here with your brother while go home and pack some clothes for him"

"Sure" said Hilda, she kept her gaze fixed on him.

The couple walked out of the room leaving the two siblings in the room, there was an akward silence and the tension was suffocating

"When were you gonna tell me" Hilda began the tone of her voice unreadable.

"I didn't mean for you to find out like that"

"But I did, which brings me back to the question, When were you going to tell me" she emphasized every word.

"I don't know, when I felt ready"

"That's a lame answer"

"Like you would understand if I told you I was gay"

"Did you tell me first"

"I didn't need to, you're Hilda, you cringe at a gay kissing scene, you wrinkle your nose at a gay couple, hell hearing dad tell me he loves me makes you feel weird, you're homophobic"

"I'm not"

"You are and you know it, you're just like mom and dad"

Hilda kept quiet, the remark he made silenced her, she was nothing like their mom and dad, she'd promised herself that she would never be like them, ever.

"Do you love me less ?" said CJ, his hand was clutching the sheets as if they were his life support, the question made him scared, scared of what the reply may be.

Hilda sighed and walked to the bed, she took a seat and rested her hand in his tensed arm.

"No, I'll never love you less, we stick together, no matter what"

CJ's hand stop clutching the sheet and raised his eyes to his sister's, they both smiled.

"You know it all makes sense now" said Hilda.

"What makes sense"

"I mean the fact that you're gay it makes sense, you're a girl magnet, not because you're attractive because you have a feminine edge"

"A feminine edge, there's no such thing"

"Oh really, you wear jewelry, you apply lip gloss, you love Barbie"

"Hey everyone loves Barbie"

They both laughed and CJ began to feel good again, suddenly the pains of being betrayed and being in a car accident were waning.

"So how are you gonna tell them" said Hilda.

"I don't know, it's gonna be hard"

"It will always be hard when you're talking to your parents"

"You mean OUR parents"

Hilda nodded in understanding.

"And school ?"

CJ sighed.

"Honestly I'm not ready to go back just yet, both physically and emotionally, I have this feeling that my life will entirely different from what I know it to be"

"That's what change does, it messes up the things you've done and leaves a whole new list of chores, but like I said, we stick together and go through it"

CJ took her hand in his his and squeezed it.

"Thanks Hilda, I really appreciate it"

"I almost forgot, I've been with your phone ever since your little accident, it has been blowing up!"

CJ opened to see missed voice messages, texts and calls from Zoey and Lucious. CJ sighed as change placed another chore on his list.

How will he manage without either of them.

....

Zander was outside he could still hear the two siblings talking and decided to leave them be and take a walk.

He exited the hospital and smelt the fresh evening air, he walked down the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets and began to think.

He'd been at the hospital for days taking care of CJ, he could still remember the sight of CJ, his body was bloody, motionless and terrifyingly cold, almost like he was already dead, Zander remembered seeing tear stains on his cheeks, it was only yesterday that he found out why, his sister had told him, CJ was gay.

Zander had also been trying to let this sink in, it wasn't surprising though seeing how CJ had a little bit of feminine in him, you could tell, Zander noticed the way he walked, gracefully, with his hand in his pocket and his head held high, almost as if he were on a runway, his way of dressing, buttoning his shirt to the neck or leaving his chest exposed, his peculiar earring on his left ear, the chain he wore everyday, his rings, the way his lower lip glistened bright pink.

Zander found himself admiring CJ, remembering how good he smelt and how deep his voice was, his soft hand, his blue eyes. Zander abruptly stopped walking.

What was he doing ?

Did he like the fact that CJ was gay, because he himself knew that deep down he was gay too.

Zander took in a deep breath and headed back to the hospital, trying hard not to think, afraid that he might start thinking about CJ, his long curly hair, his light brown skin...

Shit he was doing it again!

He walked through the door and made his way to CJ's ward, he knocked but didn't hear anything, he opened the door softly and looked inside, he found CJ on the bed sleeping softly and his sister had taken his place on the chair beside him, she was also asleep.

Zander smiled and silently tiptoed to the pad and pen.

"ILL BE BACK TO CHECK ON YOU TOMORROW, HOPE YOU GET WELL SOON, ZANDER"

With that he grabbed his jacket and left the room.

Hilda opened her eyes and saw the message, she smiled and went back to sleep.