9

Chapter 9

Ava's P.O.V

After hearing his confession, she couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes and soon enough her whole body was trembling as she leaned against Crowley. She buried her head against his chest and took a few deep breaths before she lifted it again to find him staring down at her, his expression softening greatly.

"Hey…don't cry…please…it'll make it harder to apologize," Crowley muttered softly as he gently brushed her teary cheeks with his thumb. His touch felt so soothing…so loving. It reminded her of that night when she found out that there was nothing between them…and of every time they had spent their precious time together. Just talking and playing video games, and laughing…and holding hands. Those memories were so vivid in her mind that it almost felt as though they were living, breathing moments, rather than memories. Yet she also realized that these were probably fake memories. After all, he still hated her, didn't he? He wouldn't just suddenly decide to act caring and nice if she were really pregnant with his child. He wouldn't even bother if it meant having someone else as part of his family…or worse, just getting rid of her altogether. He might just love that damn kid, or whatever…but that's it. Nothing else.

She shook her head slowly and looked up at him.

"No…you can't leave…you can't leave me. You're my best friend…no one else…nobody…could EVER take your place…if you left me, I'd die…" She let out another sob as she tried to hold it back, but this time, there was not much point in hiding her feelings anymore. There was absolutely nobody else around, and this is what she needed at that moment. To feel loved and cared for. And she knew very well that, even if he loved her now, eventually he would get fed up and start to treat her badly again. So this was something she needed to accept. She was not going to let that happen. Not to her.

She wiped at her tears, trying to clear away the evidence of the tears that were flowing freely from her eyes.

"Ava please….you don't understand! I can't just stay here. I mean, we've been over that! I can't pretend that everything was okay when I can clearly see that it wasn't! Even if everyone tells you to stay here and let people take care of you…I just can't do it! I can't keep lying to everyone. Especially not you. I want to be with you Ava, I need to. I've always wanted to be with you and now I finally get to," he pleaded.

"It's not fair…why don't I deserve you? Why does my existence make you unhappy? Why won't you trust me? Do you hate me so much that you can't be kind? Do you hate me, or are you really just being selfish?" She ranted angrily, her eyes narrowed dangerously. Her tone wasn't harsh, but laced with hurt; hurt and sadness mixed with anger.

There was silence between the two of them after her last sentence. They just stared at each other intensely for several seconds without saying a single word. Finally, after Ava's breathing calmed down again, he spoke.

"I can assure you that I am not being selfish or selfless. If anything, I'm being honest with myself. I don't care about anyone, especially not you, Ava. I honestly don't. But I don't think that anyone deserves to suffer alone anymore, especially not you. You should have somebody there to support you;