There is no Defense against Cuteness. Help Me.

I eventually wake up to see an Eevee still rubbing my cheek while purring adorably(?), and it hurts when said Eevee is rubbing the wrong place. More exactly, my burnt face!

Add to the fact I have... Several broken ribs, and a hell of a backache, I was immensely suffering in eternal agony from an overpowered fox dog cat hybrid of a pokemon that is dangerously cute and cuddly.

I gave my best stink eye on the Eevee. Pay for what you've done. You little gremlin.

...

*Mark used Mean Look on Eevee!

*It doesn't effect Eevee...

*Eevee used Baby-Doll Eyes at Mark!

*Mark's Attack Stat lowered! Mark is annoyed!

...

Okay, it didn't work in fact. That meant this particular Eevee... was mine. Because any pokemon, exception of mine and a certain asshole's, will cower and whimper against my fearful glare of icy death.

And this little fuzzball had the audacity yelp in affectionately and increase it's speed to rub my cheeks faster as it realised it was me. Stop. Stop. I command you to stop, it hurts. Love and affectionate actions will not make me feel better.

"Veee~" Eevee slowly rubbed my face, feeling the soft and warm fur of pokemon as it was deeply missing me as if it didn't have any cuddles for a long time... Urgh, fine. I give up.

I gave up trying to stop Eevee and tiredly rested my head on the rubble..? Oh we crashed through the wall. Right... Shit. Property damage again.

"Mark! Mark! Are you alright?! Do need help?! What was that thing?!" Ruby's concerned voice called out as I groaned in response. Everyone was watching my tired-ass body was defeated pathetically by one small petite creature that no one has seen before.

"Woah, dude. You alrigh- WHAT IS THAT?!" Yang shouted as she pointed the small creature of dishonorable death. Murderer of thousands (by bloodloss), conquored worlds, the most dangerous beast of the multiverse, ladies and gentlemen: My Freaking Eevee.

"Vee?" Eevee turned around to see the shocked and disbelief faces of Remnant.

"... What is that thing? It looks... like a fox." Blake commented on Eevee. Eevee tilted his (It's a boy, okay?) head slightly showing that he was either confused or curious. The female population almost lowered their guards at the sheer power of cuteness is emitted, but they were careful as it crashed through the concrete(?) walls.

"The way it looks may decieve you, but it almost killed me." I groaned out as Eevee sat down and studied the area. The hoomans(?) gulped, becoming more cautious of the creature's actions.

"Let's not engage the mysterious... dog creature for now, let's-" Weiss was interrupted when a pink blurr ran passed her towards Eevee and myself.

"IT'S SO ADORABLE! COME 'ERE, AWWWW~!" A speeding Nora missile went straight towards both of us, alarming the Eevee as it immediately glowered in blue light.

Nora grasped the Eevee... and to grab nothing but air as she was going to fall on top of me-!

CRUNCH

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!" The pain was unbearable to the point I screamed in agony as more fucking bones shattered as her heavy body slammed on upon me. I DON'T DESERVE THIS!

"Owowow, sorry Mark! *GASP* IT CHANGED TO YELLOW! IT'S ALSO SPIKEY AND BIGGER NOW! SO COOL!!!" Nora cried in awe at the sudden evolution of Eevee. It was Jolteon, the Lightning Pokemon. Electric Eevolution of Eevee.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that my Eevee can change any forms at will. And my body hurts like hell and I am possibly dying of unfairness. Yay.

Eevee, now Jolteon silently growled warningly as it stanced like it was going to jump on us. Jolteon also dodged Nora by using Wild Charge for the speed and he's right behind us.

Wait. I knew that stance. FUCK. VEE DON'T YOU DARE-

My protests were too late as Jolteon started to spark electricity from static and the prickly fur and overflowed itself with pure pokemon electricity and discharged a huge lightning bolt at us, and by us, and that meant by ME!

"Jolte- OOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!" Jolteon discharged a Thunderbolt at us including Nora, Team RWBY, Professor Port, and Team JNPR. We got fried at most.

All of us were either burnt or electrocuted from the attack as leftover sparks flowed in our bodies as a result. Ruby's body was blackened like ash. Weiss looked like christmas with coal smears. Both Yang and Blake's hairs looked like a lion's mane.

Team JNPR was totally electrocuted. Jaune let out a puff of smoke as he fell down unconscious. Pyrrha also got the same treatment but without any serious damage. Ren somehow dodged the attack, and Nora...

Well, her semblence is called "High Voltage". Stuff about electricity running through her veins and not dying. And she looks over okay...?

"WHOOO!!! YOU CAN SHOOT LIGHTNING?! THAT'S SO COOL!!! LET'S BE BESTIES! OOH! OOH! DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES?! DO YOU HAVE LASER EYES?! YOU'RE SO COOOL~!!!" Nora was hyper-active as she literally talked so fast even I couldn't understand it. The text above is what the first paragraphs I heard. I don't even know what's she saying...

Jolteon flinched and dropped a bead of sweat from the reaction of the crazy girl. He stepped back, almost afraid of her as his attacks did jack.

As for me? WELL I WANT TO DIE AND END THIS PAIN AND SUFFERING OF THIS CONSTANT BULLSHIT THAT I CALL UNFAIR SINCE I GOT ELECTROCUTED BY MY OWN FUCKING POKEMON!

Jolteon started to change form in blue light as it morphed into Leafeon. Smart move, since Grass types are super effective against Electric types!

But she isn't a pokemon. I really doubt it would work against-

A storm of leaves and strong winds brushed past as it enveloped Leafeon and willed the Leaf Storm to smack and spin around Nora a bunch of times and she crashed into the wall. I shoved my head around to see she was seeing stars.

'Okay, that worked...' I thought with a sweatdrop as type-advantage pokemon logic worked on Remnant... Who would've thought.

Leafeon changed form again and turned into Espeon, as it's eyes glowed the same light as it surrounded everyone with Psychic, trapping them using psychic powers.

"What the heck is this?! I can't move!" Yang called out in shock as she was suddenly floating as everyone did. Everyone struggled to escape the psychic grip, but unfortunately for them... I kinda trained Eevee to the point it FOUGHT GODS? Level 100 everyone?!

Espeon slammed the rest into nearby walls and carried my body around. Oh nonono, you ain't doing anything at my body. I know I haven't met you from a long time, but please don't hurt me! I am sick of getting treated as a ragdoll!

"Yang... your hair-" "What's wrong with my hair? It's..." Yang touched her hair and saw that it was absolutely ruined from the Thunderbolt. Rage filled like a wildfire and Yang was offically pissed.

"You... MONSTER!" Her eyes went red as fire danced around her. She immediately charged at Espeon, who was taken by surprise but nevertheless dodged Yang's attacks flawlessly.

Espeon charged a Psybeam (because of type advantage when he thought that Yang was a Fighting type and Psychic beats Fighting) and discharged the beam at Yang.

Which surprisingly, blocked the attack with her arms and endured the attack. Oh right. Her Semblance, "Burn", can absorb energy from the damage she taken, and since Psybeam is a Special Attack filled with Psychic pokemon energy, she could withstand the blow and redirect it twice as hard to the opponent.

"RAAAAAAAGGHH!" Yang brushed the beam of energy off to Espeon's shock and charged at the pokemon, punching the psychic type from enough power and force that sent it flying to the wall.

Espeon crashed to the wall with some damage taken and landed on the ground, beaten and overpowered. I fell down with an 'oof' after it's psychic hold weakened. It grunted in annoyance and changed form again, now becoming...

Vaporeon?... Riiiight. It thought Yang was also a FIRE type. Makes sense, using type advantage to end the battle...

"What are you- AAAH!" Suddenly Yang was blown back from a high pressured stream of water coming from Vaporeon, who was using Hydro Pump to 'cool her down'. Did I just a pun by accident?

And then again it changed form AGAIN to it's Ice type form, Glaceon. Sending out a burst of Ice Beam, it flash-frozen Yang solid in ice and did the same against the other people. Fortunately, they dodged the soon as they could get hit.

Ruby was not happy about her sister incased in ice. "YANG! NOO!!" She cried out in horror, seeing that her sister was literally incased in ice that would've killed her. And I said would've, because pokemon logic.

Yet somehow people manage to survive despite incased in ice from pokemon from the official anime. She'll be fine... ish.

"That's enough from you, you little demon! These are my students!" Professor Port pointed his blunderbuss at Glaceon who was surprised to see a gun. Port fired the gun as Glaceon ran and dodged the bullets.

Quickly turning into Espeon, it used Psychic to lift me up again and ran bursting through the corridors of Beacon, setting the alarms on the school depite my call for help were meaningless as I was getting kidnapped by my own pokemon.

Help me in this shitstorm, please?

...

"Yang... Yang..." Ruby saw her sister incased in ice when the weird changing monster thing frozen her solid! She was still alive, right? Everyone doesn't... die from incased in ice... right?...

"Ruby..." Weiss felt sorrow and guilt when her team leader and partner lost her sister. Suddenly, the ice that was with Yang cracked into pieces as Yang was perfectly fine and alive.

Yang blinked in confusion and fell down to the ground. "YANG! YOU'RE ALIVE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD..." Ruby immediately hugged her and teared down into tears of relief and sadness when her sister wasn't dead.

Yang was confused and hugged her back tightly. Ruby noticed the tightness of her sister's hug and looked to her. "Yang? Um, why are you hugging me so tightly?" Ruby asked as she realised Yang was cold.

"Bbbrr.... So c-cold...." She shivered from the coldness and grasped Ruby tightly. Ruby immediately covered her sister with her cape to warm her up. Blake, Weiss, and the rest let out a relieved sigh that Yang wasn't dead.

"What was that thing? To do this much power..." Blake oversaw the damage and destruction done from the strange monster. It didn't look like Grimm...

"Students, are you alright? Is everyone fine?!" Professor Port called out to the class as they said they were fine. Professor Goodwitch and Doctor Oobleck ran and saw the damage and they were shocked.

"What in the world has happened here?!" Glynda called out in concern and confusion among the pandemonium that happened from a level 100 Eevee.

"A strange creature harnessing the power of the elements attacked and kidnapped the new freshmen student, Mr Underwell, and has attacked the students. Miss Xiao Long is currently alive but needs immediate medical attention, now. Other than that, I have no idea what it was..." Port explained the situation to the Professors who took the situation gravely. A student was kidnapped and attacked the students. That was a serious enough problem.

"And look at these walls. These walls were reinforced to withstand lower attacks from an average hunstman student and yet these were smashed like as if a creature of mass destruction came in. Port, if this creature can harness the elements as much it sounds somewhat ridiculous, I believe you." Doctor Oobleck stated and pointed the elemental remains of the attack of a pokemon.

There were scortch marks, wet floors, ice shards, and surprisingly leaves everywhere. Such power can only be done by a Maiden, and their powers were beyond a human's semblance, using magic.

"You said that this creature kidnapped Mr Underwell?!" Professor Goodwitch shouted in disbelief. Port nodded hesitantly as Glynda saw the damage of what a single creature could do.

"Not only it harnessed the elements, it had the same ability as your semblance, Glynda!" Port exclaimed as both Goodwitch and Oobleck were shocked again discovering this creature had psychic powers.

"That's impossible! I've heard this creature possess the ability to harness the elements, but have the ability to use something similar to "Telekinesis"? That's absurd!" Oobleck shouted in disbelief. Even the Maidens didn't have any power to use something similar to Glynda's Semblance.

"And I saw one of our students floating by an invisible force get kidnapped by that same creature. We need to save Mr Underwell as Professors, as these are our students!" Port stated as he prepared his weapon. Both Glynda and Oobleck nodded in agreement and prepared their weapons as well.

While reasons were uncertain why would this mysterious creature suddenly kidnap Mark Underwell, they had to save him as their roles of Professors...

...

Ozpin oversaw the footage of the mysterious creature that kidnapped Mark Underwell. Reason may be uncertain, this was beyond a Maiden's powers to do so, and in the wrong hands, the results would be devastating...

Nevertheless, he had to find him. This creature was also perceiving and smart enough to deactivate the cameras nearby, getting no contact of where it might be. This was a serious outbreak. If they were with the Queen, there would be many deaths and chaos in Beacon Academy...

Yet something told him this creature was no Grimm. It was something else entirely, and it could have no relationship with the Grimm Queen herself. The third party.

What was so special about Mark Underwell? Despite escaping from five huntresses with no aura, Mr Underwell had no special abilities or information that he knew of, other than the fact that he knew the existence of the third party were...

Whoever this third party were, this was no by means an ally to be trusted with. And he needed to find out which side they were on...

...

It felt like half of an hour of Espeon carrying me around. I knew how Vee got here. Delivery package from F himself, mysteriously placing the cage in Port's class when I was sleeping...

Sneaky motherfucker... Espeon came to a stop when it found where it looked for. The school clinic...? Why the school clinic? That's the dumbest place where anyone could hide. Why would he-

SMACK

"OW!" I cried out as Espeon deliberately smacked me on the door frame. I glared at him, and he didn't seem that he cared that much. Annoying little bastard.

"What the- WHAT IN THE NAME OF DUST IS THAT?!" The nurse noticed Espeon holding my body in a psychic hold and I gave a troublesome look.

In response, Espeon used it's Psychic powers to knock the nurse out, as she fell down unconscious and Espeon grabbed her before she could hit the ground, and then carefully placing her on a nearby bed.

As for me, despite showing care to the nurse, I was very injured and tired and Espeon proceeded to slam me towards the nearest bed. That also hurt very much.

"Urgh... Couldn't you have became more... careful next time, Vee?!" I groaned as I barely got up from the bed. Espeon hissed and threw a scalpel at my face.

Before it could kill me by stabbing through my brain, it stopped when it got near my forehead, telling as if I shouldn't move. I glanced at Vee with a glare as it retracted the scalpel away from me using Psychic.

'For what you've done in the past, you don't even deserve to call me that name.' A psychic voice hissed inside my head, as Espeon was the one talking to me through psychic powers alone.

"What did I do? I don't seem to remember anything because I HAD TO DEAL WITH BULLSHITTERY!" I furiously shouted at Espeon. I didn't even flinch when Espeon held multiple sharp objects next to my face.

'YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME ALONE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME FROM THIS PAST CENTURIES!' Espeon roared in hatred as the objects got closer.

I scoffed. "So what? You going to kill me after I left you? Do it. I'd like a good death from a 'partner'. I have nothing to lose besides my sanity." I spat out, seriously daring Espeon to kill me.

'UUUUURRRAAAAGGGH!!!' Espeon's face formed into a murderous scowl as he prepared to kill me. I closed my eyes and accepted my fate once again.

But the pain never came.

I cracked open my eye to see Espeon had dropped the objects, as he cried sorrow as he barely stood.

'WHY?! WHY DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! MY TRUE PARTNER DIDN'T LEFT ME, HE TOOK ALONG ADVENTURES WITH ME GOING NO ONE HAS SINCE I WAS A NEWBORN! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! MARK! WHY?!' Espeon trembled in sorrow and negativity that overflowed his tears. I was silent.

'You were my best friend that I ever had, Mark... What happened to my friend?! WHERE'S MY FRIEND?! WHO NEVER LEFT ME TO DIE AND NEVER FORGOTTEN ME?! WHERE'S THAT MARK?!" Espeon teared up into a breakdown as my face darkened. He stared at my eyes, urging to give an answer, but there was only the cold deathly truth.

"... He's gone." I replied.

The whole school clinic went in silence as Espeon took the facts like a sledgehammer was smacked through his face.

'Then I have nothing to live for. I am just alone, without a friend...' Espeon's sorrow words were spoken as he looked down. He cried tears as he softly spoke his words.

'Ever since he left me, I wanted him to come back. To explore and go to adventures no one has seen... I wanted to find him. I missed him. I missed him and waited for my entire to just come... back. I waited, and I waited and it felt like an eternity...' He spoke. I listened carefully.

'The eternity lasted when some opened my pokeball. I thought it was you. But, it was F... He found my pokeball from pure coincidence, and I finally got out. I wanted to meet you. I missed you for a long time that I thought you would've forgotten me...' Espeon spoke softly. I was silent.

'I demanded him to meet you. I demanded him, but he didn't. Now I knew why. My friend's gone. Having thoughts of suicide, pain, and suffering... I thought I was in the wrong place. But I knew it was you.' He glanced to me.

'Who hurt you...? My only friend was gone, and he was nothing but a person with suffering and agony... I-I missed you. Very. Now my friend's gone. I grew with him, accomplished things, battled together... I wanted to be friends again..' He started to shake uncontrollably.

'I miss you. My friend... M-mark... Mark...' He broke down into tears as I watched him suffer the truth.

As the silence was no more than weaping tears, Espeon's face showed shock as I was hugging him. I hugged him tightly.

"Please, just fucking hit me. As hard as you can." I ordered Vee, who did what I told him to- SMACK!

Blood splurted from my mouth as the full force knocked my ass off to the ground. I was coughing as I rubbed my mouth. "NOT THAT HARD, YOU FUCKING MORON!" I shouted and stopped when an Eevee was crying leaning my stomach.

I nurtured Vee, my oldest forgotten friend and hugged him warmly. "Welcome back... Vee." I told him, as he weapt a thousand tears on my T-shirt. You know, despite the beating I just took, makes me wonder when I was going to knock myself out. I was still pretty conscious.

Espeon raised up and stared at my face. 'Welcome back, you fucking moron... My friend's still here. He's not gone...' He gave a teary smile. I widened my eyes in shock.

"You swore. You never swore." I replied as Espeon let out a disbelief breath.

'That's what you're worried about? Me cursing my first 'swear word'? Please, bitch. I'm old enough call you names from the shit I needed to deal with. It's been a long time, asshole.' Espeon smiled gently. I shook my head and skeptically glared.

"I told you not to curse! My pokemon shouldn't be cursing around me!" I exclaimed as Espeon deadpanned.

'Really? I'm not a child anymore. I'm like, half your age. Asshole.' Espeon headbutted my stomach lightly with a pout.

"Doesn't matter, if you're cute and adorable, you're not supposed to curse. Bad influences can happen..." I warned seriously to Espeon. Espeon stuck his tongue out.

'You're just jealous that I don't get special treatment from F. I get the special treatment cuz I'm cute. And you're UGLY.' Espeon pointed my face mockingly. I gasped.

"Motherfucker, take that back. I ain't nowhere near hideous like your personality!" I pointed at him as I frowned. Espeon gave me the 'surprised pikachu face'.

'My personality? My personality is hideous?! Says the pot calling the kettle black, you're the one who left me in the first place! Besides, I got this from you, and you alone. I'm the victim here. Hmph!' Espeon shook his tail around and huffed. My eyebrows twitched.

"Oh, don't you sass me, Vee! You're the one who ran straight first at me without any self-control. I didn't teach you that shit and it sure wasn't shared from me! I don't lack self-control." I skeptically pointed. Espeon snapped his head at me incredulity.

'Bullshit! Self-control my ass! Where was the self-control of not trying to murder someone when they woke you up?!' He protested.

"I was forcibly awake and was half-tired when I woke up!" I exclaimed. He hissed in response.

'That's what you said last time! I can read your damn mind, and I can see through your lies, Mark! I'm a Psychic type, dumbass! Psychic = Mind Power! Your's is soooo empty for some reason. I wonder why? Isn't because you're kind of dumb now? That explains everything why you're so dumb enough to still be wearing that AWFUL DISGUSTING FILTH YOU GLUED YOURSELF WITH! WHAT THE FUCK!' Espeon covered his maw and let out a few tears of disgust.

I looked under and saw what he was gesturing towards to. My- BLAZER?! "WHAT THE FUCK, VEE?!" I shouted at him.

'ITS SOUUW DISHGUSTINEEG! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE WEARING THAT SINCE FOREVER, YOU SICK BASTARD!' Espeon ran away and hissed on top of the window for air.

"There's nothing wrong with my clothes, goddamnit!" I protested loudly as I smelled the blazer. See?! There was nothing wrong with it!

'I call bull! It stinks like a hundred thousand million senses at once! It's obnoxious, for Arceus' sake! Either burn it or wash it!' He barked out loud. I stepped back away from him in horror and warning.

"Ain't no fuckin' god or mortal burning my blazer away from me. You touch my stuuf, you dead as the soon as I get the fucking 'real shit' coffee on your ass..." I guarded my blazer protectively as Espeon flinched when he heard the extra-secret special coffee both he and I knew.

'YOU DARE?! You wouldn't dare to make that abomination ever again! Something that disgustingly evil and foul concept of a coffee shouldn't exist! You sickest fuck, don't you fucking dare...' Espeon warned me as he prepared to throw shit at me.

I suspiciously glanced at the exit while he wasn't looking.

He gave a skeptical glare in warning to never brew the abomination of a coffee ever again, but I had nothing to lose. Espeon was a strict taster and drinker of the culture of coffee, and he was damn horrified to even smell the coffee that I once accidentally brewed and he immediately destroyed it with a Hyper Beam.

We swore to never brew or to even speak of it again.

'Don't make me destroy you for real, Mark! I will actually kill you!' Espeon seriously warned. We were in a mexican standoff between us...

"Aah, fuck it. I forgot how to brew it in the first place anyways..." I let my body fall to the soft matress of the bed and sighed. Espeon let a relieved sigh as he transformed into...

Sylveon. A freaking Sylveon.

"Well, you just became a trap." I humorously commented as he (not she) deadpanned in response and glowed in pink healing light. It was warm, and it was healing my wounds on burns, broken ribs, electrofied senses, and my cuts and wounds I had with Team CRDL.

After it was finished, I was clenching my fists repeadily. I was in top-clean condition as Sylveon's bastardised version of Heal Pulse was more effective than the real move.

"Thanks." I replied. The ribbon parts of Sylveon tangled on my arm unexpectedly, as it gripped tightly. I saw Sylveon's face was crying as he smiled. He missed this. As much this feels NOT gay, and you hate my partner relationship of my Eevee, then you can go fuck yourself.

Eevee is my friend and first pokemon. He's my true friend, and I feel bad forgetting him. He missed this, and I missed it as well. A friend, and the feeling of being not alone.

"EEEEVEEE!" Sylveon transformed into Eevee and happily leapt towards my side as he hugged and nuzzled me. He was still the same starter pokemon I had in my first pokemon journey...

".... Aah, you little bastard." I grinned for the first time of my life and tickled Eevee as he laughed 'Veeveevee' or something.

"Vee!" Vee cried out in genuine joy in the last time of his life, as did mine. Aah, you cute little bastard. I missed you too.

Suddenly, one of Vee's ears perked up and immediately transformed into Espeon and growled at the door. I was confused for a second there, but then I realised what was up.

"DON'T WORRY MARK! I'LL SAVE YOU! YAAAAAHHH-" Ruby's voice called out from the window of the clinic as she shot straight pass towards us. Oh shit!

CRASH!

Both Vee and I ducked as I red blur crashed through the window. "Come and face me, you evil monster! I drink milk and I eat you monsters like breakfast! Where are you?!" She was facing the wrong way when she said that. I looked at Vee. He looked just as surprised as well.

"We're right here." I caught her attention and told her, as she immediately turned around to see both of us staring at her. She immediately blushed and pointed her scythe at Vee, acting like nothing embarrassing happened...

"You're going to pay for what you've done to my sister! So be ready, I won't be holding back next time!" Ruby stated as she prepared her scythe.

'Is she serious?' Espeon asked, with some disbelief as he didn't even face me.

'Yeeaap. Also, act like we never saw each other. I don't want to explain I travel multiverses for fun.' I telepathically replied as Espeon took a moment and shrugged. Oh well.

'Fair enough. I'll just act like the 'pet who thinks that I'm his owner but he's not' cliche, I guess it works in this situation...' He replied. That... was a good idea. I guess I don't have to explain everything today again...

"Hisss!" Espeon suddenly took a stance behind me as guarded while he hissed. I acted like I was confused as shit, asking why the psychic cat is protecting me now.

Ruby was shocked to see Espeon protecting me. Time for Phase 2... "Wwait wait wait! Don't hurt it! It's cool! It's not going to hurt you, it just wants to protect me... Stop. She's Ruby. She's a good friend... Good boy..." Espeon slowly lowered his guard while mentally cursing like a sailor.

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!' I mentally lost my shit as I treated Espeon as a dog. Espeon on the inside swore like a sailor in many different languages at once but he did not lose his acting.

'I fucking regret doing this. I did I choose to do this?! FUCK YOU MARK! STOP LAUGHING!' Espeon mentally shouted as the outside me was stone-faced, but in the inside I was starting to lose my shit again.

"It... listens to you?" Ruby asked as she in turn, lowered her weapon. I nodded.

"Yeah, it didn't want to harm me or anything. It just want to help me. Look! My injuries are gone!" I pointed myself to show the healed injuries. Ruby looked surprised when all of my injuries magically disappeared.

"What. It can do that?!" Ruby exclaimed in awe as in response, Espeon gave a smug look of ego as he was proud of himself for being 'superior' from my weak mortal body.

"I... guess it could. It changed form or something. Some kind of... pink ribbon thing. Looked kind of girlish and... gay." I kept a straight face trying not to laugh. Espeon glared at me so deep that it would make a tunnel out of me.

"G-gay? What does that mean?" Ruby asked honestly, as I froze.

"It means very happy or something. Don't use it very often. It's used in many bad situations..." I warned as I was talking to a 15 year old. She was not fit learning the dark side of things this early... If Yang heard of this, I would be dead.

'Nice job, idiot.' Espeon snickered. I glared at him.

She still looked confused, waiting for an answer. I sighed. "Just don't use that word very often. Actually, don't use it at all. You're too young to learn this..." Ruby puffed out her cheeks in outrage.

"I'm not a child! I'm 15 and I drink milk!" She pouted.

"MISS ROSE!!" A loud voice called out through the clinic as she 'eep!'-ed in fear. She started to sweat bullets when Professor Goodwitch came marching with gleaming glasses with-

ゴ

ゴ

ゴ

ゴ

'Wait, was that a Jojo reference? Goddamnit... Those references need to stop.' Espeon facepalmed himself when he noticed the Jojo reference. Aye, Jojo references are everywhere, matey...

"You are in serious trouble, Miss Rose... Recklessly acting again? Perhaps I haven't taught you some discipline very much..." Professor Goodwitch darkly stated behind Ruby as quivered in fear. Espeon looked at the sight with awe.

'Great, we have another strict teacher again. How do they do it? Like, disciplining students that don't listen?' Espeon asked. I shrugged.

'Aah, either anime logic or charismatic intimidation. I think she's using both...' I answered as Espeon 'ahh'-ed in realisation. 'Makes sense...' He said.

Glynda turned to stare at the oddly dormant looking Espeon who swung his tail around. "Explain to me this throughly." She demanded. I cleared my throat.

"Well, this thing... Psychic cat thing thinks that I'm his owner, but I'm actually not." I began my bullshittery. I telling half truths because I wasn't his owner. I was his pokemon partner, and there's a difference.

Glynda raised an eyebrow in confusion when she saw Espeon rubbing my leg affectionately. While it lowered her guard a bit from how it was an adorable sight, but however, we were thinking other things.

'This is so gay...' Espeon muttered as he kept rubbing my leg.

'Ssh, ssh, shhhh!! We don't want the viewers assume that we're homosexual even though we're perfectly straight! As for why, I hate people who are sexist to gay people. I hate people that hate stuff for a stupid reason.' I said.

'Viewers? What are you- Aaah... We're in a fanfic. Right. Almost forgot about that.' Espeon nodded in realisation as he remembered.

"And how would you know that?" Glynda asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, for starters, it listens to my commands. It also trusts me, and well... I don't remember owning a pet." I explained as I glanced at Espeon.

"No, Mr Underwell, how would you know it's gender? You just called it a 'he', did you not?" Fuck. I slipped.

'You fucking idiot. Calm down and think and talk excuses before our cover is blown!' Espeon shouted.

"Well, I think it's a boy for some reason...? It reminds me of a male cat of my... let's say 'friend', and it acted this way. Do male cats act like this?" I calmly lied through my teeth. I didn't know jack about male cats acting like this.

"Well, it's certainly not a cat, Mr Underwell." Professor Goodwitch glanced at Espeon with cautious eyes, like a hawk. Phew. Dodged a bullet there.

'Ah shit. I'm running out of juice, man. Let me... *YAWN* take my original self over for a bit... I'm going to take a nap...' Espeon yawned as he was forced to change form and transform back into Eevee.

"Veeeeee~" Eevee yawned adorably as it was getting tired.

Ruby and Professor Goodwitch was caught off-guard from the sudden cuteness and how amazing adorable was the yawn was. It was like the cuteness of a puppy and a cat mixed in with a fox at the same time it was a baby!

"Awww, that's so adorable!" Ruby cooed as she watched the baby-like Eevee yawn and started to walk towards me. Professor Goodwitch was still cautious of Eevee.

"Mr Underwell, take note to be cautious around the-" "Veee...." Eevee curled around like a buddle of fluffy fur and cuteness that melted the hearts of women in an instant.

"Veee... Evee..." Eevee started to sleep against my feet as the two women watched the cute sight of a baby sleeping. They all grasped their chest and blushed.

I carefully slipped my fingers on the soft fur of Eevee and slowly lifted the pokemon of cuteness in my arms. Fear me, I have a bundle of cuteness at my side and I'm not afraid to use it!

"Vee..." He purred in the most adorable manner of sleeping.

"Let's just leave him alone. Poor guy must've so exhausted." I advised them both to not wake up the bundle of fluffy joy. They immediately agreed and we all left the clinic.

[AN: Please review. Add in some powerstones, and some comments, and stay safe! Have a good time. Eevees are fluff. Eevee is life. Eevee = Cuteness.]