Britain's Finest

Surprisingly, I was the first to wake up out of the five from mysterious reasons. It was... fucking 5:09 am?

It was still dark, showing that it was different to Earth's daily sunrise in the morning. And I didn't felt like sleeping again. Because, the perk only works if you're tired, and I'm not.

I cracked my neck and straighted my back, sending out a few audible cracks from my back. My back's stiff... And I have to obtain my aura, would I like it or not.

I carefully opened the door and left the dorms, and tried to remember where the student forges were. First of all, I needed a weapon.

GROWL

And some breakfast... Can't doing anything without an empty stomach. As I dressed myself in school atire (minus the school blazer replaced the brown blazer), I walked myself to get some food.

...

As I went to the cafeteria to get some food, I realised they weren't ready for any food for sale. The whole place was empty and silent, except that the chefs were preparing themselves for meals.

I wanted an early breakfast and knocked on the doors of the cooking room. Suddenly, the doors bursted out and accidentally whacked my head as I fell down. I was stared down from one ugly-looking old lady with one mean eye looking I was trash.

"Whatta you doin' 'ere?! Fuck off and be patience with your damn grub, brat!" She slammed the doors shut. I scowled as I held the stinging pain on my forehead. THAT FUCKING-

I kicked the doors open with a scowl. "The FUCK WAS THAT?!" The cafeteria lady turned around and sneered.

"I SAID FUCK OFF, YOU FUKIN' BRAT! I WILL COUNT TO TEN, AND IF YOU'RE NOT GONE OUT OF MY KITCHEN BY THEN, I'LL SHANK YA!" Said lady pointed a knife. I glanced at the so-called kitchen, which was a fucking pigsty. I noticed breakfast.

And I was shocked.

"THE FUCK IS THIS?!" I held sloppery remains what was called breakfast. "If this is breakfast, WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU, CUNT?! ARE YOU TRYIN'A KILL US?! THIS SMELLS LIKE A DONKEY'S ASS STAMPED WITH BATSHIT! FUKEN, DISGUSTANG!" I exclaimed in horror as I wiped the remains off from my fingers.

"THAT'S IT, FUCK OFF! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN YOU BASTARD!" The old lady jabbed a knife at my body as I stepped back. I scowled flipped her off.

"You don't call this shitstain of a kitchen, A KITCHEN. IT'S ALMOST FUCKIN AUSCHWITZ IN HERE!" Her whole face went red as she was properly livid. As a former chef-in-training, I was beyond disgusted at this kitchen.

"THAT'S IT! TAHT'S IT! COME HERE YOU FUCKING BRAT!" She went to stab me with a kitchen knife until I parried the blow and let her fall into elsewhere. All of the remaining chefs stared at the sight with horror and shock.

"URGH... I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE WANNA THOSE FUKIN STUDENTS, NOBODY INSULTS MA COOKIN'! ARRRRGHHHH!!" She slammed a burning frying pan at my face. IT FUCKING HURT. It caused me to land on the floor with a nasty burn.

"PPPHT!" I spat the blood from my mouth and lifted myself up.

"WELL, COME ON?! SCARED, PUSSYBOY?!" She taunted as she laughed darkly.

"Your cooking... IS SHIT! FUCK YOU!" I spat out and went in for a hook. Unfortunately, my awful attempts of punching was grabbed from the fat fingers of the lunch lady.

"SAY THAT AGAIN!" She crushed my hand with enormous amounts of strength and I howled in pain. I slammed my fist into her face. It only broke her nose, and she was pissed to say at least.

"YOU FUCKIN BRAT!!!" I choked from the fat arms of the greasy bitch and I was being choked to death on the ground from the fat weight of the bitch.

I gritted my teeth and stabbed her eyes with both of my fingers as she screamed in pain and let go of my neck. I gasped for air as I held my neck.

She glared and taunted and laughed at me with one good eye open. I was about to pummle this bitch until I felt she spat on my face. She spat on my face while grinning.

"Well, it's a good day for a copyright strike..." I muttered as I wiped the saliva off my face. I calmed down, and let my brain think of a stategy once.

...

'This mustn't register on an emotional level.' I thought.

'First, distract target.' I threw the nearest object I could find. A board.

'Then block her blind jab.' Using the momentum...

'Counter with cross to the left cheek.' For my advantage.

'Discombobulate.' Self-explantory.

'Dazed, she'll attempt a wild hay maker. Employ the elbow block.' No you don't.

'And body shot.' She won't be needing ribs. 'Block thorough left.'

'Weaken right jaw.' 'Now fracture.' Or her flithy mouth.

'Break cracked ribs.' Let's break some more.

'Traumatize, solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely.' Like I'd said, you won't be needing it.

'Heel kick to diaphragm.' The Finale. Off she goes...

'In summary: Jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemorrhaging. Physical recovery: 6 weeks. Full psychological recovery: 6 months. Capacity to spit at front of face... Neutralized.' I thought.

'Copyright strike: Regretfully Guilty.' I finished.

...

In an instant, I was destroying the lunch lady into pieces as I did the objectives step by step. Then finally in the finale, I kicked through the bitch to the pot of slimy gunk as it spilled on her.

All of the people who watched the destruction were in awestuck and dumbfoundedness and deep shock as the sight was unbelievable. Most of them were either fanaus or old people.

"H-he beat Big Momma! Ugly Dwarf Momma!" Ugly Dwarf Momma? Was that a title? "We're... WE'RE FREE! HAHAHA! YES! FREE!" The rest of the chefs suddenly cheered like the pandemic was over. I raised an eyebrow.

"The fuck?" I managed to let out. I had a second degree burn on my face and I was barely holding up from the pain. The chefs marched at me like I was their saviour.

"Thank you... THANK YOU for saving from the witch! We were suffering from the tyranical witch's orders and forced to agree to cook her awful recipes! It was heartbreaking to see our students suffer... Thank you... Thank you for giving us this chance..." Tears bursted out from their eyes as I was disgusted and immediately backed away from them.

"Why didn't you just report this to Professor Ozpin, or any of the Professors?..." I asked with a raised eyebrow. With a sniffle, they wiped their tears from their aprons.

"She would notice and kill us at the second we would think of it! Poor Timmy, our new fanaus cookmate almost died in the hospital! She insulted the fanaus, and worse of all, OUR COOKING! It was so agonising..." They cried out and burst into tears. It was getting difficult staying conscious with a second degree burn on your face...

"Oh... Great... Oh... Shiet..." My sight blackened as I slowly went into unconsciousness and let myself fall to the marble floor, to their shocked and eye-widening surprise...

[AN: And so, Mark gets in trouble whenever he goes. Please review. Add in some powerstones, comment, and stay safe. See you guys next time!]