88 Episode 13-Nefarious Sloth (12)

The world was passing us by. Most literally.

"Where are we?"

I heard Marcus. He seemed distant, but as time went on, he grew closer to me, like how a moon grows closer to a planet's gravity.

(I wonder how much Fraggy came into play.)

[I he lped a lot.]

(I know you did. Thanks, man.)

My attention returned to the "landscape" before us. It was like being inside a film reel, but it was composed of memories, fast-forwarding through Marcus's time before he woke up. It should be soon.

(It feels like forever since I did anything in the "real" world.)

I was on the lookout.

(The final step. How do we get out?)

We should be out already. Hasn't there been enough development? We confronted his ancient Constellation, we explored the world he wanted, we looked at his past, and now we're confronting the present.

[Woof!]

I looked down and saw the little wolf pup from before. Did the little guy grow bigger?

"Marcus! Do you see this?!"

I gestured to the wolf pup at my feet, and Marcus turned to look at me, only to crease his brow in confusion. 

"See what?"

(How can he not see this little guy?)

[Can a hu man see ev ery pa rt of them sel ves?]

(What?!... Oh.)

Fraggy's rhetorical question made me realize. This little wolf pup, from the very beginning, was a part of Marcus. 

It did feel like there was something missing. I made a deal with Marcus, but what is longing without a sample? A light of hope? Something it takes our younger, past selves to realize what we need to do for the sake of our future. 

(I need to see Marcus's last happy memory.)

Not simple joy or pleasure. To me, happy memories are something that you carry with you, no matter how dark the world may seem.

(So, let's look for it.)

I leaned close to the wolf pup and asked, "Can you lead me to Marcus's happiest memory?"

The little wolf pup titled its head, and then walked to Marcus. They stood side by side. I decided to ask a similar question to Marcus the teenager. 

"Hey, what was your last happy memory?"

"Hm?"

"The type of recollection that you'll always recall, no matter what. A little story of your own that no one can take away. Can you show me?"

His expression grew a little awkward, but he looked at the film reel of his mind, and parts of it started to glow.

(Eh.)

"We've seen that before," I stated.

It was his memories of Angela, the little angel he met in his childhood.

"Wait, let me look," he said firmly.

The memories started to flash forward; they were going faster. I saw memories I never saw before, Marcus's father hitting him, and sometimes he fought back, but almost all the time, it'd get worst for him.

I saw Jake's gradual degradation into a horrible person, and Marcus's helplessness, feeling at fault for their little brother's devolution from human decency.

God, it was depressing to see. I didn't have the right to judge these memories and treat them like a story, but as an onlooker, a reader, I felt bitter and sad when seeing these moments. Where's the light? Where's the good part?

By normal conventions, hasn't Marcus suffered enough? Shouldn't the character growth and happy story start now? When is it going to happen?

(I'm treating his life like a story.)

Why? Because it's easier that way? Because his circumstances are too real?

Life isn't a conventional story. I had to realize that to survive. I- The things I've done to real people; the anger I feel, the experiences I undertake. They're real to me. My past before the System Introduction didn't follow "structure" or "convention." I didn't receive flashbacks. Only trauma and rage. 

That's what Marcus deals with, just like me. A "real" person. 

(But what is real in the first place?) 

His memories l flew by. Childhood, preteens, early teens, and now his late teens. He's seventeen right now. In another year or so, Marcus will become an adult.

(What's going to be there except a world full of scenarios?)

Finally, we saw the fated System Introduction. The end of our old world. I saw moments I never knew before: when Marcus killed Miss Georgian's dog, and how he looked up to the sky, apologizing profusely, asking for forgiveness.

"Marcus, where are you taking her?"

Miss Georgian was too out of it to care, she listlessly watched Marcus run away with her dog. She looked at the sky, maybe knowing full well what was going to happen to her and her pet. 

"I know you can get out. If anyone, it'll be you."

Miss Georgian words sounded like a final resignation. 

"I don't remember that," Marcus whispered to me. "I was too far away to see or hear anything." 

The Marcus next to me turned away. He killed someone's pet in order to survive the first scenario. Better than killing a human, but still horrible. He wasn't a sick bastard; he still felt guilt, even now. I looked at the memory. Where did the rest of it come from if Marcus didn't stay long enough to witness what Miss Georgian said? 

"I think she was trying to tell you something," I added. "Telling you it'd be okay. That it's okay."

Marcus didn't have anything to say. He just took it in. 

I watched the final moment where Marcus took the dog to the edge of the park, and held it one more time before committing. 

[You have cleared the First Scenario!]

[100 coins have been earned as additional compensation.]

He wailed and retched as the First Scenario ended and as he heard the sounds of people's popping heads. When it was over, he didn't know what to feel, until he heard this: "Marcus?! Where are you!?! Marcus!!"

It was the barking voice of his dad. Dread filled him, and a dark thought entered his head: (Why did you have to survive?)

In response, his body grew sicker.

There are more scenes like that. Marcus fighting to run away, Marcus trying to be a hero only to be rejected, Marcus surviving in the green rooms, and Marcus fighting for his dad, who became a King, but who ran his group like a monster.

The little wolf pup next to Marcus whimpered in sadness, sitting down and tucking his paws underneath his chin, turning to look away. Even if they were a little mammal, I felt the same. 

(Were... There no happy moments? In-between? Like, at all? After Angela?)

I was dumbfounded. My thoughts sounded dumb, but I needed to dumb it down. Was his life that bad, was there no reprieve? At least for me, I had TWSA. The Anna Croft Side Stories and their funny acronym. But the world gave no break to him. Even though I read his past, I hoped for the happier moments to exist between the lines I could never hope to read. 

A story doesn't carry every detail, which means you can never see the full picture. It sounds counter-intuitive to the idea of stories; you're supposed to learn and know, but they're microcosms of reality. Is that right? 

[I thi nk so. Oh, the re's ou r favo rite guy.]

The memories continued and I saw Marcus being approached by McFarland, trying to act as a makeshift father figure.

"Marcus, I know it's hard for you. Sometimes... Our parents don't treat us right. Sometimes they choose to use us. Sacrifice us for their own needs. You know, Abraham was told to sacrifice his son, Isaac, to God at Moriah. It's a Bible story about pious obedience, if I'm correct, but it never sat right with me. The only highlight was when the Angel came and stopped Abraham, who trusted God and His words. Knowing Isaac wasn't going to die was a relief to know as a kid."

My blood boiled at hearing his voice.

"Marcus, I can be that Angel for you. Although, unlike Abraham, your father doesn't listen to God, or to any of the Angels on his shoulder, no, he listens to the devil. He gives in, and that's where he's at right now, and that's where he's bringing everyone else - to his level."

I bristled. Goddamn manipulators. The smart ones, at least. The ones who know what to say, and how to say it.

(Is there anything?)

More numb or unhappy memories. Marcus getting approached by Alexa, her coercing him to drink that spiked beverage with the Specter stones.

(No happy memor-)

"Wait," Marcus said. "I- I think my mind sk-skipped one."

"Woof!"

Even the wolf pup seemed to acknowledge something. 

The dream paused and hit rewind, opening up new windows to look at different scenes. I saw one of them. Marcus eating alone at a cafeteria table. This was most definitely after the System Introduction.

(I can't believe it.)

"Mind if I sit here?"

Just like that, the darkness began to weaken. What I thought were the black borders of a film reel were actually more black tendrils suppressing his mind.

The umber seams of this unique, inner world were falling away by the droves, like rust on metal. It pooled, congregated, writhed, and connected to the small wolf pup at Marcus's feet. 

The little pup wagged its tail in eagerness, unperturbed from what was happening to him. After a moment, this odd transformation was done. The little wolf pup was no longer little. It grew stronger. It's haunches looked muscular. It gave off a tempered, vicious energy, and then turned to look at me.

I was ready to be shocked, preparing for the worse, but the fear never came. Marcus's inner wolf was no longer a pup, but when he turned to look at me, his mouth was wide open and his tongue was hanging out. 

(You okay?) I thought to it. 

"Woof!" The wolf barked happily. 

My apprehension dissipated. The darkness didn't warp Marcus, nor the representation of himself. Not anymore. He finally accepted it.

(Now he's stronger.)

Marcus didn't realize it, but he was emanating that dark energy, but it was no longer overpowering him; it had an aura of leashed control. 

(That's why Fenris sent him here. He wanted to fortify Marcus's will.)

I turned to see what he was looking it. It was that day that I sat next to Marcus, and when Alicia and Aliana joined us. Even if our initial impression was awkward, it cascaded into our other meet-ups with everyone else.

(Maybe we're not friends,) I thought in regards to Alicia and Aliana, (but it was fun hanging out with them.)

I felt like Donnie Darko in movie theater, when Frank the Bunny Rabbit shows him a portal on the big screen. It felt... enrapturing to me.

That wasn't the end. There was more. Us hanging out with Aliana, Alicia, and Max as well, that awkward little bugger. So he thought of them too. 

Relief. Joy. Happiness, and the fear and apprehension that came with it.

After all these years, Marcus finally felt something new. That's what he thought to himself.

(This is nice... it's new.)

Just like that, a curse was broken, and the overhanging shadow on his life was lifted. 

"Heh. Hahahaha!"

Marcus broke into a laugh. A chuckle at first, but it grew into something stronger, until he was crying from tears of joy, like he saw the funniest, greatest thing in the world. Like his spirits were lifted.

No. They were.

Marcus looked at me with tears at the corner of his eyes. His complexion was a little rosy, but there was a cute expression on his face. A pure smile.

"Thanks for being with me, Ethan. For coming for me."

My heart skipped a beat. It felt like someone cracked the heart of darkness inside my soul. I didn't know what to do, but I smiled too.

"I'm glad I'm here too, man."

I said that with all my heart. I could finally talk to Marcus, like I always dreamt about. What to say and what to do, I never did any of that because real social interactions aren't games you can play. Sometimes, they just happen, and you're in that moment, which feels like will last forever.

Nothing lasts forever, though. Thanks to endings and beginnings, we can move on and experience new things with the people we meet along the way. That applies to life, pain, and even dreams.

"I'll see you when I wake up, Marcus."

He nods, smile still stuck on his face, and this world finally fades to white instead of black.

***

(Ethan!! I finally found you!)

I heard an eager voice filled with false friendliness. 

[Your Fragment of the 4th Wall is detecting another Fragment!]

(McFarland! You're like a little shit at the end of a bathroom break. Just there, unwanted and ignored.)

(I think I finally found you. You had weird blessings that blocked me, but they seem to protect mental space.)

McFarland grinned and said, (But it doesn't seem to do much when we have closer proximity.) 

(I know what you're implying, my guy. You're at Garfield High school.)

McFarland seemed to pause, but his sly nature rebounded. 

(And you're there too, Ethan. I know. I was going to go there anyway, but realizing that you were there was too perfect.)

(What? You gonna find me or something? Hit me with your best shot, my guy, fire away.)

I smiled at McFarland, my signature toothy grin. I remembered my deal with Marcus. I'll save the people, and he'll befriend them. 

Sometimes, in order to save people, you'll have to employ means that'll be justified in the end. 

***

I woke up. My eyes opened. I felt a sense of relief. There's something nice about sleeping, but it's scary too.

"Marcus?"

I turned to look at him, but he wasn't there, lucid-wise. Still asleep, but I could tell he was rousing. I did it. I completed my mission: Wake Up Hispanic Sleepy Beauty. Let's go, I'm the best prince ever who woke up a friend with bromanship.

I sighed in relief. My little funny thoughts weren't enough to snap me out of my seriousness. I was just glad I did it.

"Hey, Ethan's up!"

I heard Aliana say my name, and she lightly shoved Alicia to look in my direction.

"H-hey."

I heard a weak voice, and saw Max lying a few paces away.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She still looked sick.

"Eh... Trying to be?"

Lying on the ground and wrapped up like that, Max looked cute, like a little bean burrito that had food poisoning. Except it wasn't food poisoning. It was drugs.

[Constellations are glad to see you are awake.]

[Constellation "All-Devouring Wolf of Apocalypse" huffs in acknowledgement.]

[Constellation "Secretive Plotter" is trying to glean the secrets.]

[Constellation "Anti-Confederacy" says things are in motion.]

I heard a crackle, like a radio was being turned on.

[Dokkaebi Communication is initiating!]

[Pssht! Ethan! Hey!]

I finally laughed. It felt like so long.

[Herald. Wassup?]

[What do you mean wassup? Not a lot of time has passed since we talked! But the scenario is still moving! At zero hour, the final kings with the black flags will be chosen, and transferred to the Washington D.C. Dome! That's either Santiago or McFarland!]

[I know... I think.]

[You think? Where's your head at? Get in the game!]

[Sorry. It feels like it's been long.]

There was a silence between Herald and me. I'd have to talk to him again. It did feel like forever.

[I'll get going now. I'll make sure to do you proud.]

[What am I, your father?]

[I don't know, when is Father's Day?]

[I'm not familiar with human customs.]

[Me too.]

We cut the communication; Herald was right, I couldn't waste time. I stood up and stretched, my body was snapping and groaning from being in place for too long.

"What are you, an old man?" Aliana quipped.

"Better than being a judgy teenage girl."

Aliana just smirked at me. I turned to Alicia, who was just giving me a blank stare, like she didn't know what to do with me.

"What are you going to do now?" She asked.

(Uh...)

"Uh..."

I needed to think. I needed to get the plan ready. Everyone was right, things are in motion, but my stupid mind forgot. I was too busy socializing that I didn't consider the world was moving beyond me.

"I need to take a piss," I said as a white lie.

"Ew."

"TMI."

I got those responses from Double-AA (I'm going to call them that now.) I made sure to turn back and look at Marcus and Max. She still looked nauseous, and was shivering now. Marcus was now tossing and turning.

I knelt down to Max.

"Hey, it's going to be okay."

She gave me a weak smile that said, "Sure. I'll try to believe you."

I knew her problems ran deep. I think the first rules of law enforcement - or any official group - is to not make promises, especially ones you can't keep, but I feel like I needed to say it.

"I promise. Everything will get better for you."

(It all starts tonight. Then tomorrow, and the day after. Bit by bit-)

"Wow, that's a platinum bladder you got there," Alicia snipped. I think she caught onto me.

"Climbing down!!" I shouted.

It was time for me to get off the roof. It was time to finish this scenario and remove the two obstacles in my way.

***

I was in the classroom below. I reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Walkie. Since I became a wanderer, I didn't have access to pre-established means of communication with other Incarnations, so items like these were life-savers. 

-Bzzt-

I turned it on and spoke into it: "This is Burning Charcoal. I'm moving into position."

-Bzzt-

A voice crackled over the radio. A voice I knew. It was George. 

"Operation: Malicious Roar is commencing."

Relief, but a perverse excitement began flowing in my chest. 

"We'll reach you soon, Ethan." George said to me. 

It was time to end this scenario, and move onto the next. Our endings and beginnings. 

But one of my design.