24 Maid in China

"Announcing His Majesty, the Great Lamp of Our Kingdom, Snee James Rhoy 'Al-Ti, and the Worthy Candles, their Royal Highnesses, Prince Spamlet and Princess Auricularis of Heareh, as well as Concubine Eustachia of House Ntoove!"

The hall full of nobility sank to their knees in graceful curtsies and bows as they greeted the members of the ruling family of the country, which happened to be under an absolutist form of government.

"Long live the Lamps and Candles of the kingdom!" The nobles chanted in unison as the royal family made their way to the thrones placed at the head of the ballroom.

Once he had seated himself, the king waved a hand and they all straightened like wrinkles under an iron.

"My dear friends and subjects," he boomed majestically. "Today we have gathered here on a joyous occasion, that is to say, a partnership between two families."

He waved a hand and Prince Spamlet rose from his seat to kneel in front of the throne. Bolita, recognizing the cue from the angry jerk of Duke Schmancy's head, quickly maneuvered her way through the crowd to curtsy beside Prince Spamlet.

"My friends, today joining hands are the Duchy of Schmancy and the House of Rhoy 'Al-Ti in the sacred office that is marriage. Thus I hereby declare that the bonds between these two families to be strengthened with the marriage of Lady Bolita of Schmancy to Prince Spamlet of Rhoy 'Al-Ti."

At this he motioned to Bolita and Spamlet and they un-crouched because they were not tigers and there were no hidden dragons.

"A toast! To the union of Lady Bolita and Prince Spamlet, may they partake in a future of bliss!' The king raised a gaudy golden chalice.

"To the union of Lady Bolita and Prince Spamlet, may they partake in a future of bliss," the rest of the nobles repeated, raising their own glasses of alcoholic beverage and knocking them back.

Bolita noted that one of the nobles near the back of the room appeared to down an entire champagne flute in one go, interestingly enough.

With that, the nobles dispersed into their own little social circles. Bolita joined Auricularis at an inconspicuous corner near the food tables and began playing the part of a noble speaking with her to-be sister-in-law. Auricularis noticed Calorie standing near a wall in typical maid fashion and beckoned her over so she could join them in snacking and talking.

As far as all things went, the three thought they were doing a pretty good job of acting like attendees of a royal engagement ball should. The rest of the ballroom, however, was not on the same wavelength.

"How unusual! I dare say Her Highness and Lady Bolita are getting along quite well."

"Indeed, how bizarre. Last I heard, they were at each other's necks, like usual."

"Perhaps Her Highness has finally started to see sense and cease with her childish temper tantrums."

"Well, that sounds to me as if you're thinking about leaving His Highness's faction!"

"Why, maybe I will. Can't you see how clearly unfavored His Highness is compared to Her Highness? They're marrying him off instead of the princess!"

"Oh, enough of that, look, the prince's aid is approaching."

"By the way, is it just me or does that maid seem to be awfully favored by both Her Highness and Lady Bolita."

"You're quite right…I wonder where she hails from?"

All of sudden, the gossip began to die down and the nobles cleared an ellipse in the center of the ballroom. It couldn't really be called a circle because the radius wasn't the same all the way through.

"Oh," Auricularis said, recognizing this from her oft read shoujo manga. "It's dancing hours."

Auricularis had never been one for dancing as a sport, but she could appreciate the stamina and flexibility it required. It also made for great coordination training.

"Ah," Bolita winced, after realizing who would be doing the dancing, and with whom the who would be doing the dancing with. Even though she had been put through rigorous dancing training at the Schmancey manor once her incompetence at the art was discovered, at her best she still stepped on her partner's feet every five steps.

Prince Spamlet materialized from somewhere within the crowd and strode over to Bolita, but not before sneaking a quick look at Calorie and turning a lovely ladybug red. Perhaps he saw one of those beetles fly by and decided he wanted to twin.

"My Lady." He bowed with an outstretched hand.

Bolita curtsied and they took to the floor.

Prince Spamlet and Bolita were joined by several other couples after their first few spins as the orchestra played what sounded suspiciously similar to Pachelbel's Canon in D.

Calorie herself was even pulled aside by Alfred, though not for the purpose of dancing. Perhaps he felt that after he had relayed his entire sad backstory to her they were now the equivalent of bosom buddies. It was an extremely one-sided relationship, in Calorie's humble opinion.

"My Lady!" Alfred wailed in Calorie's general direction. "My dear Lady, confined to a marriage with that boor of a prince! Everyone knows something's definitely going on between him and his aid! My poor Lady will never be happy with someone like him!"

"There, there," Calorie said, because she was good at handling people.

While consoling the butler who had practically soaked the front of his suit uniform with tears, Calorie realized she was hungry. Before she had joined Auricularis and Bolita, before she had blended herself into the wall, but after the party had started, she had been running around the dance floor refilling drinks. Tiring work it was, especially since those aristocrats could hold their liquor.

The hungry helper cast a pleading glance at Auricularis, but to no avail as the unlucky royal had been approached by a blond, glasses wearing noble and seemed unable to shake him.

Calorie weighed the odds and concluded that worst came to worst, she'd just invoke Auricularis' powers of protection, so off she went, slinking her way away from Alfred and toward the dessert table.

The dessert table was laden with all sorts of delights, from egg pudding to cream puffs, panna cotta to apple crisps, and pies made from just about every fruit known to man. It was so extremely pleasant to look at that Calorie was almost afraid to ruin the perfection by eating, because as a maid, she was well aware of how long the other maids must have toiled to arrange the pastries nicely.

A minute of intense staring and thinking later, she decided that it would be far more tragic if all the food went to waste, since the rest of the nobility just seemed to be drinking, so she loaded up her plate with definitely more than three slices of each flavor of pie.

But just as she was about to begin stuffing her piehole, a haughty voice interrupted her.

"What do you think you're doing? A lowly maid, snooping around and taking from the plates of the nobility--how insolent!"

There stood Prince Spamlet, pointing an accusatory finger with all the vigor of a noble lady villainess, his face growing redder and redder by the moment. He seemed to be seriously allergic to something, and Calorie considered calling the palace physician.

Calorie thought for a moment before coming up with a plausible excuse, her days as a maid suddenly kicking in like cold medicine during a nap. "Her Highness has so graciously allowed me to peruse the refreshments in honor of this engagement ball."

Then, quickly checking so no one would notice her clear disregard for a member of the noble family, Calorie began hurrying away in a remarkably tactless faux pas.

But before she could speed off to an area of safety, Prince Spamlet grabbed her wrist, emulating every Kdrama male lead ever.

Time seemed to slow and the atmosphere turned a rosy pink. If there was a camera it would have just zoomed in on the wrist grab. Slow instrumental music, separate from whatever the orchestra hired for the ball was putting out, began playing.

"Wait," he said. "I know that we've met before. It was in the garden, and I told the maids to clean up, but you didn't listen. Now, here we are again, where you continue to defy authority."

He took a step closer, invading Calorie's personal space bubble in a motion that was definitely not okay, because consent is very important.

"You're the first woman who has ever continued to brush me off like this. I've never met anyone like you before," Prince Spamlet continued as the lighting dimmed dramatically.

It didn't do much to help his complexion, which at this point was the same color as his hair.

"And you interest me. How are you so close to some of the most powerful people in high society, but your own position has yet to rise? Is it to protect your identity as you control everything from the shadows?"

Prince Spamlet inched a tad closer.

"Excuse me, Your Highness, but I think Her Highness is summoning me." Calorie inched away uncomfortably.

Prince Spamlet inched closer again. They moved a total of one inch to the right.

"Wait," he said again. "I can offer you far more than Auricularis can."

Calorie noted the disrespectful omission of Auricularis's formal title.

"Why don't you join my faction and aid me as my personal maid? I saw you talking with that butler, I know he belongs to House Schmancy. If you want him too, I can get him for you. All you need to do is say yes," Prince Spamlet said as he inched forward and Calorie inched back. They were getting closer to the custard station of the dessert table.

"Pardon me, Your Highness, but I think I will take my leave," Calorie frowned, cutting him off very sharply before flouncing off to Auricularis, knowing she could borrow some power from Bolita or Auricularis to protect herself. Though she had all the skills to reject him so devastatingly his bloodline would feel the sting for generations, as a lowly maid she could not use them. Besides, people who did not respect other people's personal boundaries did not deserve her respect.

Prince Spamlet watched her leave, his face slowly returning to a color that was not a shade of red.

"How interesting," he said before he picked up the plate of pie she had left behind and he inched away to a dark corner to brood or something.