29

~Vaela

I stare at the bed, wondering how it's possibly going to get any sleep tonight.

My eyes stay locked on the door as I undress, slipping into some nightclothes I found in the top drawer of the dresser. I don't suspect Sinful will wander in expectantly, but he is Lust.

A knock on the door sends me rushing from the bed I had just clambered into.

Slowly, I open the door, peering out.

I nearly collapse with relief. It's Hale.

Swinging the door open, I examine him. He's dressed in a dark coat, making his silvers eyes more vivid. For a fleeting moment, I'm convinced he's come to my room to seduce me, although that vanishes in a moment as I come to my senses.

"Come on," he summons, nodding toward the hallway.

"Huh?"

"Let's go for a walk," he prompts.

Peering past him, I see nothing but an empty hallway, and silent house. No Sinful, ready to taunt and tease me about my feelings for Hale.

"Where?" I ask thickly.

Hale's eyes are dark and searching. "Outside. The view is stunning from up here."

"I'll be cold."

"You're always cold. Now layer up, and let's go," he encourages.

He waits patiently outside while I dress, finding thick fluffy coats inside the closet for me to shrug on.

For some reason, my limbs tremble in anticipation. We spend so much time together, and yet something feels different about him coming to my room, asking me to join him on a walk.

It feels...intimate. Even more so than last night.

We don't say much as we wander outside, careful not to draw attention to us. Despite it being night, the moon casting its silvery light across the snow makes everything visible.

"You're right, it's beautiful out here," I muse, looking out at the magnificent view of snow topped mountains and glittering village lights. Now that I'm mortal, I can admire these sights with an entirely fresh appreciation.

Hale is looking at me as we wander. "It's strange, you know, how much my perspective has been changing since being around you."

"How so?"

"Moments like these feel special now. I like being around you," he says quietly.

I look down to smother my smile, watching the way my shoes sink into the snow as we walk. It's these moments, where he says such gentle, sweet things that I forget he is a Sin.

"As long as it stays platonic," I murmur.

I can feel him looking at me, but I raise my gaze out toward the view, wishing I were living a carefree immortal life like those in the village. "Tell me more about the man who killed you."

"Is this your not-so-subtle way of finding out his name so you can go and kill him?" I ask. Now that both Hale and I have calmed down since it was initially brought to his attention, I can find it amusing.

Hale laughs breathily, sliding his hands into his pockets. "No. I value your decision not to want him dead. Even if I don't agree with it."

That's a relief...

"His name was Trace. We were together for three years before he killed me," I explain. Three happy years too, until he snapped.

Hale frowns. "Why did he do it?"

"I have no idea. He would get angry a lot, but I know he loved me." I sigh, realising how foolish I sound in hindsight. Back then, I was young and foolish, and didn't know what true love was meant to feel like.

"That's not an excuse." His voice sounds rougher, deeper, as he contemplates the nature of my past relationship.

I shrug. "I'm not saying it is. I'm not upset about it anymore."

So much of my first few years in Death's Realm were spent hating Trace. I still do, but not with such an intensity it overwhelms my life.

"If I ever cross paths with him, I'm going to kill him, you know that?" he murmurs lowly. From the corner of my eye, I notice him remove his hands from his pockets, fingers curling up into fists for a moment.

"Why?"

He doesn't look at me. "Because the thought of someone hurting you fills me with incredible amounts of anger."

My heart stutters. This is dangerous. This conversation, the words he utters and how much passion drives them, daring me to consider the true intention behind them.

I clear my throat. "Will you miss me when I find my mate?"

He tilts his head as he looks at me, as if he's surprised I would even ask such a thing. "Of course."

"Why can't you find yours?" I suddenly blurt out.

It truly is none of my business, and yet I'm anxious to know. Hale has guarded this the entire time I have known him. Not being able to find one's mate is not common, and from deep within me, I want to know what has caused this.

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's a long story."

"Tell me. Please." I don't mean to make it sound like I'm begging, but I have to know. He's tried so hard not to touch me so far...There has to be a reason.

He tips his head back, the glow of the moon tracing the sharp edge of his jawline.

"A long time ago I was a very selfish person. I desired nothing more than to be by myself, and so I swore that I wouldn't care whether I had a mate or not. It wouldn't matter, because I didn't want them in my life," he admits.

My throat goes dry, and I have to actively remind myself to continue walking. "Really?"

He nods. "At the time, I had a tense relationship with Fate, the Pureblood. We hated each other, and I hated being told by him that one day I would want my mate."

He hated it? The thought of having a mate was that despicable to him?

"So Fate cursed me. He told me he would ensure that I would never find my mate, that I would be alone forever." He looks down at his wet boots, a frown etched deeply into his features, my heart aching for him.

"And he meant it?" I myself have said things I have regretted, and never ultimately went through with. Perhaps that is the case for this Fate man...

Because how could someone be that cruel?

"I believe so. He was angry."

"Can he even do that?" I whisper. Where I came from in the Mortal Realm, we didn't learn much about Fate. What I know of him is that he is mischievous, and each mate bond can be traced back to his existence.

Whether he has direct control over them is another story.

"I'm not sure. But it haunted me, after that. I tried not to care, but many years have passed and I would like nothing more than to find my mate," he says gently.

What if Hale found his mate before I did? I couldn't imagine a more painful experience, so quietly, I admonish myself. I shouldn't be so selfish.

"You'll find them, Hale. You won't be alone forever," I assure him.

Hale is far too good of a man to not find his mate. I refuse to believe that Fate cursed him so terribly.

"I hope not."

"And we will always be friends, right?" I add. I actually value our friendship. Our ability to be in each other's presence and be totally content, while at other times being able to laugh and joke like we have known each other for years isn't something I have with many people.

"What about all the sexual tension?" he asks, smiling slyly.

I kick a clump of snow in his direction and he laughs, wandering away before falling back into step beside me.

"Even if there were any, it will be gone once I find my mate," I say, straightening my shoulders surely.

"Are you sure, or are you hoping?"

"Since nothing more is going to happen between us, I'm certain the feeling will go away." I'm trying to sound confident, although I'm not sure it will go away.

I just have to remind myself that Hale is a Pureblood, and I'm not in a minority of people who could easily fall into the same position I am currently in.

"If it isn't, you can spend the night in my room..."

"And have Sinful take one look at us in the morning and figure it out? No thanks," I drawl. I've had enough mortification handed out by him to last me a lifetime.

He stops in place, causing me to turn back to him. "Take my hand right now and I'll take you home and make love to you on and against every possible surface there is."

My throat tightens, gaze lowering to his offered hand, pale moonlight tracing the lines of his palm. Were I to take his hand, he would make good on his promise. I know that.

"Wow, make love? How gracious of you," I say, trying to sound confident, although my voice wavers.

He smiles knowingly. "I can be romantic."

I roll my eyes as we continue walking, trudging through the snow while looking out over the mountain. It's easier to look out there, even as intrusive thoughts start to assault me, and I'm forced to look back at the Pureblood.

"You don't want me to touch you though, do you?" I whisper.

He blinks, snowflakes dusting his lashes. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you know what is happening between us. It would be smart to confirm we aren't mates," I say.

It feels selfish to say, and somewhat embarrassing. Do I really believe him and I could be mates? I didn't initially, but as time goes on, it's clear him and I are both attracted to each other, and it's not just sexual.

Hale looks down at his hands, rubbing them together. "Vaela...I am not a lucky enough man to be your mate."

"You don't know that for sure-"

He stops again, but this time he grabs my arm, tugging me to face him. "And what if I am not your mate?"

"Then that solves that issue," I say.

"Does it? Because I know I don't want to spend the next who knows how long trying to find your mate, knowing that there will never be a chance for us, were we to touch now and find out we aren't..." he breaks off.

I rub my arm. "So you're holding back because you don't want to know?"

He sighs, turning away, digging his hands into his hair.

I rarely see Hale have an explosive emotional reaction to anything, but right now, he's looks so tense, so overwhelmed by what he is feeling, that he doesn't know how to quell it.

When he turns back to look at me, everything he is thinking is laid bare in his earnest expression.

"Because I'm so scared you're not. And right now, I like this...whatever this is," he motions between the two of us. "It's easy, and it's the nicest thing I've had in my life for centuries. I can't ruin it now."

I stare at him quietly, stunned.

I knew Hale liked me, but how could I anticipate this?

He doesn't want to touch me and find out we aren't mates...He wants us continue this strange relationship until it can't go on anymore.

Still, I know it has to happen. At some point we need to touch, and whether he wants it to or not, it's going to happen.

"Hale..." I breathe, unsure of how to respond.

He seems to come to his senses, shaking his head. "Come on, you're freezing. Let's get inside."

"Hale," I say softly. "You have no idea how much I care about you."

He smiles. "Don't make me fall in love with you."

I grin, as we start off toward the manor, like nothing happened.

Although I don't think I'll be forgetting his words any time soon.