chapter 1

Now after 60 years I can see everything from a different way. Now I'm a law attorney, I choose this profession for a good reason.

It was not my favorite profession but I choos to help my self and other women like me. I know we need to follow our heart for what we decide to do in our life's or what we dream but same time is the circumstances to make us to make a difficult decision in our life and in our future. I choose to do the second because my life it was not that ease how is in much of the causes, is more profound and more painful, when you need to choose between your family and your life, she you need to choose between your life and what you have always dreamed.

My childhood it was the most beautiful part of my life and still now I want to close my eyes and see like a flash everything. I wan to dream and live again that flash, again back if I can. Or only for a second if is possible and to not came back again in my rest of my life. If I could I will make it for sure but no unfortunately....

Sight….

I grow up with a patriarchal family where for me it was forbidden to look my father in eyes or to look him in face.

It was for item to even talk and to say what I was thinking for an discussion in house or even when it was samething about me. Living now when after 1 week I will be 15 years and my father told my mom that for me now is not anymore place to play outside with my friend, with other kids. From what he told my mom I'm growing up and for good gile is forbidden to go outside and to play. And also he asked my mom to show me what mean family, taking care of home, show me about how to take care of kids and how to cook. Trying to learn how to make a home bread I burn my 2 finger, it was so painful, I keep it for almost 1 hour in cold water but still burn a lot. And he screamed me a lot, it was so upset with me and it was ready to punch me in my face. My mom take me with her and help me to go in kitchen and stay there till my father will be a little bit more relaxed.

I was staying in kitchen, crying for what it was happening with me and thinking to many things. I was remembering when I was only 8 years when for fort time my mom let me do a pie and I bean so happy to do it and eat with her and my father too. Before he was so nice, so lovely person. He loved me so much before but now everything change. I don't understand why my father is becoming so upset, rough person and even more difficult to understand. Before he was taking me which him when he goes in market buying me to many things, clothes, candys and everything I wanted. I never understand who that uncle came and he was taking whith my father for samething very important. I remember my father telling him she is only 14 years no way, she is a child and is out discussion to talk about her for this question. He told my father that the family of him is very important and they don't accept a NO like respons back. You need to think twice, and also they are really rich and she never will fill the necessities to be worried for you too and for herself. She never in her life need to work, they don't need for her to work.

My father responded back to him that she is a child and he is almost 40 years, how this can happen?! No way my daughter is not taking him like her destiny. I want to bring her in school, to be sameone who she want and she dream. She is my first sun, she give me the name father for the first time, I was there when she make it the first step, I saw the first tooth on her and I bean so happy. She is my best side of my self, she is smart, responsible, intelligent, she has an amazing heart, she never will make a bad thing to a mosquito. I'm so happy to have grow up a child like her ( and his face it was smiling under his beard, whith an amazing tone of voice and happy too.)

In that moment the uncle bring the voice up like to wake up my father from that dream ( he believed that my father was in delivering ) telling him that there is only one option, I need and is no other way to disobey to that proposal or the thing we're going so bad. Even they will destroy my hole family. I can't beloved what I was listening. Why the world is so cruel, why uncle told that bad word and left from my home fourius and upset. Omg ( praying in gad that nothing bad happens to my family, I don't care for me but not my family) please help my family.

My father came in front of me and telling me, I want you to be what you want. Don't listen what he said, I want you to be independent from nobody, you to be you. I will protect you with my life, but I will make sure he don't touch whith his dirty hands. Don't talk to him anymore ok? He ask me with a loud voice and ordering me to do it exactly what he told me.

I was the most happy person in the world that my father it was so social and emancipated not like the other family heads of other family's in the city. He protected me from my uncle when he was trying to convince my father to give me with that old men. I was so so happy but scared too, what if samething happen, what if really that old man will hurt my family??!!

I'm scared but is my father in my side, even if they will try to do samething my father will protect me from everyone, thanks good I'm not alone. And also I have 3 brother, 2 of them more older than me only the little one is only 4 years old. Is my little brother who all day try to help my mom taking care of him after school.

He is so sweet, with 2 amazing green eyes like mine and black hair. Everyone tell us, 2 little one are almost twins because we are almost identical. I'm a little bit jealous because I want to be unique and not to make no difference between him and me but also I'm happy. He is my best ever friend of my family. He know me when I'm not filling good and came to give me a hug and same time a kiss. He really understand me without talking.

He has a white skin and if you see him under the sun I make fun of him. Came on I don't have time to take care of your burn skin go under samething to protect your self from sun.

Both of us me and him with the oldest brother whe have a birthmark on our left shoulder. We have a new wich it look like a heart is almost like the nail of middle finger. Is not small but you can see under the transparent shirt in this hot summer.

The middle brother is more like my uncle, he is really selfish and not honest always. But still he has an amazing heart. Same time he scare me because he like to talk with my uncle. I see almost every day and I get a lot of scare from that, also I listen that they are trying to convince my father to give me for wife to that old man.

I want to tell my father but why if I'm wrong.

I need to tell him, otherwise my brother, he will believe that he is doing the best thing ever.

I make a couple of steps in font of my father and trying to bring down my thirsty throat those bad words I listen. My brother is looking me very rude and upset in the same time but I need to tell my father.

I need to tell him….

Dad I want to tell you samething…