Chapter 8 Reviwing. Part 1, 2, and 3.

So in the last three chapters, I wrote an interesting dark story, titled a Stray cap appears.

Now, this first chapter has a warning for a more mature audience. The reason for this is that each story will be slightly different than the last. So previous warnings are invalid. This three-part story, however, it's dark and goes "lightly" over some bad situations. Just take the first paragraph for example.

Now for this three-part story, I had a goal. #1 I wanted to write something dark, #2 I wanted the reader to feel suspense, and lastly #3 I wanted the story to end in a very odd manner.

So lets review #1. Was this short story dark? We have abused and experimented on a child, that eventually got shot, and almost died from blood loss. She was then on the run stealing food to survive, using the philosopher's stone to fix her body but instead, it broke her body, and killed a monster in fury, then disappeared after reminiscing about the past.

I would say yes, it was short and dark. Was it as dark as I wanted, no, but if I go any darker, it would get flagged, as experimenting on children is frowned upon, even in fictional books/stories.

#2 I wanted the reader to feel suspense. The child was in a bad situation and made a plan to escape. She succeeded, however, got shot in the process.

Was the story suspenseful enough? No, if I had dragged each chapter out to about 2,000 words, maybe.

#3 I wanted the story to end in a very odd manner. She disappeared through a space tare.

Was it an odd ending? Yep, however, it was not a good ending. In this case, she just suddenly got powerful and left. Like why didn't she do that in chapter 1?

As the story is, for now, it's short and in my opinion bad.

Was the story itself bad?

No.

Then what made the story bad?

Simple things that could have easily been fixed if I had taken some time.

#1 spelling errors/capitalizations. As I'm not using a writing program that specifically looks for errors, things like, "ill" slip through the cracks sometimes.

#2 loopholes. In part 1, there's a major loophole, How did Anna know, that Layla would be able to kick the dead body hard enough to rupture the blood bags, or why Layla never called anyone to pick up another dead body?

#3 things being repeated. I used this way more than necessary. "If one were to look close enough they would see." It's ok to use once or twice, but if used enough times and close enough to one another, it breaks the emersion of the story.

#4 Each chapter was only 1000ish words long. As I said, for beginners 1000 words is a good starting point, however, if you want a good story, more words per chapter are recommended, as you can fix things.

Now, what are some simple ways to fix these four mistakes? #1 spelling errors/capitalization. In my case, as I'm going the free route, I just have to take my time and re-read through the chapters, slowly.

#2 Loopholes. In this case, it's going to be quite hard to fix. In this story, the loopholes are answered by her past memories, however explaining that within the chapter is quite hard, unless you start with it. I also answered this in a past chapter, and that is to write down things to note. So in this case instead of writing. This towards the end. "When Anna woke up she had a new perspective", where the scene is just after the surgery, it is instead opening with the surgery.

#3 things being repeated. This ones quite hard to tell, unless you have taken some sort of break between, just writing the chapter, and reading it right away. Not only are you mentally exhausted from writing the chapter, but also from fixing small spelling mistakes, changing the margins, and other small things. You're also rereading the chapter at the same time skewing your perspective, with exhaustion.

The easiest way to fix this is to send it to an editor. I don't have one of those and I can't afford one of those. So what I would do to fix this, is to write and fix everything on the first day, be it 1 chapter or 5 chapters, then wait one day, and use a tts to read me a chapter and listen to it for errors, or situations that break my emersion.

#4 Each chapter was only 1000ish words long. Easy combine chapter to make it longer no? Yes and no. This can be a hit-or-miss strategy, as combining chapters can change the feel of a situation. An example of this is at the end of chapter 5 A Stray cat appears. Part 1. This chapter ended in a dramatic cliffhanger that resulted in the main character getting shot. It's a great stopping point to build suspense for the next chapter. To fix something like this, I would need to go back and write more for chapter one, and combine parts 2, and 3. The story will shrink to 2 chapters, however, the quality of each chapter will improve immensely, as the word count per chapter is also a timeframe.

What I mean by this, is that if I set my limit to 1000 words, but have a 5000-word story, I'm going to try to fit all that I have planned within 1000 words, however, If I only have a 500-word story, and my goal is 2000 words, then I have to rewrite the story and make it fit my word count.

If you shrink your story to fit your word count when you re-read it. It will read as if everything is rushed.

If you try to lengthen your story, without giving much thought to it. It will read as if it's an information dump.

In all honesty, a word count is just a recommendation, if it's a 500-word, chapter or a 10000-word chapter, it does not matter. What does matter though is, that when you read it, you feel good about the length of the chapter. Not too long, not too short.

Personally, if I'm writing a section pertaining to feelings, long and drawn out is the way to go, so chapters are going to be longer. However depending on the fighting scene, if it's short, it's not going to attach the reader to the story, and if it's too long it's going to bore the reader.

Below are three of the same story, about a man getting punched in the face.

Leaning back I swung my left arm while tensing all the muscles I had. I grazed this man's face, leaving a small cut on his cheek. I saw at that moment the anger filled in his eyes. He took a step in, launching a left hook like nothing I have ever seen before, right into the side of my head. Stumbling a bit back the world was spinning, and before I knew it another punch was flying toward my head. Without realizing it I had been hit again, but now something was different. I could taste blood. Then the pain kicked in seconds later. No matter how I tried to dodge, this man would always land his punch. I didn't know if I could go on or not, but as soon as that thought came, I knew I had ****ed up. I had already lost might fighting spirit, I was going to lose.

I swung my left arm, and at that moment I tensed all the muscles in my arm and grazed the guy's head missing him by millimeters. This absolute Chad of a man took that opportunity to shoot one mean a**, left hook to my face. When he hit me my world spun for a second, stumbling back a little, then another punch came flying shattering the bones in my face. Tasting iron in my mouth, and feeling the extreme pain in my nose, I knew I had ****ed up. I knew I was gonna lose this fight.

I swung and missed, then he decked me in the face, but I got back up and he hit me again breaking my nose. I knew I was gonna lose this fight.

Each story is the same, the only difference is the word count. The first story paints a picture, of a man losing confidence and is about to lose, the second is about a man who realized that he was about to lose, and the third, well the third is about a man whos losing a fight.

With all that being said. The next thing for me to do is to go back and change chapters 5,6, and 7. However you won't be able to see the changes, so I will make chapters 9,10, and 11 the edited versions, so you can see/read the difference.