To Reconcile

Nathan had little left to discuss with Valentina. It seemed that she and her small group had only scratched the surface and are trying to dive right in to gather more information. While it may seem under control, it is a whole new world. After sending them off Nathan sighed, rubbing his hands against the sides of his head. He was beginning to think that maybe he should not have seen them.

Feigned ignorance, but then again, there were few like him.

Only a few people survived from that hell hole and even less were able to return to normality. Nathan knew of two others who returned besides him, the others are either somewhere out in another Plane wreaking havoc or dead. The one that returned with him was just like him. She missed her family, friends, and people. Normal people, a normal life.

Valentina most likely got her info from one of them, or has a connection to one of them. 'Probably Raeva.' Nathan muttered under his breath.

Since they were at least 'Awakened' they could no longer be considered a normal human being. Only those who have been Awakened knew how to teach others and guide them properly. There were many dangers involved, with dying being the best of the worst outcomes. Nathan was still in thought when he heard a knock on his door. As he looked up to see who it was the door opened and Kristen waltzed in unannounced.

She was wearing casual wear, some sweats and a purple hoodie. She unceremoniously sat on Nathan's bed and looked at him. He could see questions in her eyes.

"What's up Kristen? Doesn't look like you had work today." Nathan faced her while leaning back against his pillow.

"Who were those people before? In the suits?" She asked.

"What people?" Nathan tried to deflect the question with his own.

"Don't play dumb with me. I saw them walk out of your room. Who were they, loan sharks? Are you borrowing money from sketchy people to pay for your hospital bill?" There was a tinge of annoyance in Kristen's voice. Nathan almost laughed aloud when she said loan sharks. If only it was that simple. 

"Oh them, that's some personal business. You don't have to worry it isn't as shady as you think. What brought you in today though?" Nathan asked.

"Nathan, if they are blackmailing you or something please just tell me. I can help, you know that."

"Haha. It is fine. It really is. Trust me for this one, I'm in no trouble nor am I doing anything illegal." Nathan could feel Kristen's eyes as if she was trying to burn a hole into him with her gaze.

"Fine, don't tell me. Whatever it is you better stay out of trouble, and if you can't help it at least let me help take some of the burden off okay." Kristen softened up. She looked at Nathan with sympathetic eyes. It didn't take her long to realize that he had a tendency to make others worry about him once they got to know him. Ultimately that was why she even came here in the first place. It was her day off and yet she came because she was worried. And seeing two strangers in suits leaving his room only amplified her gut feeling. It was almost the same as that time in highschool.

"Hey, do you remember sophmore year Nathan?" She suddenly asked.

"Yeah, what about it? Reminiscing already? It has only been like four years since we graduated."

"Do you remember when you sent me that text." She said with a hint of sadness. "The one about what I would do if you died?"

Nathan had his fingers crisscrossed together. Hearing her mention that time he felt a little unsettled, and unlocked his hands and crossed his arms.

"Yeah. I remember." Nathan said softly. He looked towards the window. "You came right into my classroom and asked to speak with me privately."

Kristen watched Nathan closely while trying to find words to say.

"Yeah and then after I told your sister you seemed really upset and then two days later you were gone. Absent for three days and then came back like nothing happened. I had no idea what was going on and even your sister didn't tell me." Kristen cast her head down.

"Mmhmm, not my best year if I do say so. Highschool was a shit show for me to try to fit in." Nathan spoke. He then turned his head to face Kristen and reached his hand out to hers. "I dont blame you, you know that right? At least you noticed I was getting pretty bad. But what has this got to do with now?"

Kristen looked at his hand on hers. Doubt and anger in her heart. "You don't, but I do. I could have done so much. You had done so much for me before, yet I never gave you a second thought. I believed you could handle it. I let you go too far, you could have really been gone forever. I could have prevented you from getting to that point. I could have…" her hands tightened to fists as she clenched her jaw. She was angry at herself. Upset that she let someone she called her bestfriend nearly fall to pieces. Oblivious to how much he was suffering. As the years went by into senior year she continued to ignore it, and even went against him when he finally lashed out. Of course he would. Nathan had had enough that year. Kristen just refused to see it, to understand it. To Nathan it did not matter if he was in the wrong anymore, he just wanted it to stop hurting. If he was going to feel lonely, he might as well be. And it worked. She abandoned him, like all the others siding against him. 

Nathan took his hand off Kristen's before giving a good chop onto her head. He could see her trembling and decided to stop her before she went too deep. The chop wasn't heavy, but it did shake Kristen from her train of thought and caused her to look up at Nathan.

"If you are thinking about it like this now, then you have grown more mature. Of course you didn't do anything. I never gave you the chance nor showed you. There was so much stress in your life that having to help me with my own would have taken a toll on you. You have to remember Kristen. I knew you more than you knew me. I could see how you were feeling just based on how you walk or carry yourself no matter how you try to hide it." Nathan gave her a kind smile as he removed his hand from the top of her head. He cracked his knuckles and fidgeted around a bit to get comfortable again.

Kristne watched him with a gloomy look. There was so much she wished she could say but he was right. A lot was happening then and they both made mistakes. 

"I know I can't make it up to you, and you don't want me to…but I just can't leave you again. Not this time." She tried to say confidently. 

"Haaahhh, Then do what you want Kristen. I have yet to say no to you and you actually listen to me anyway. Besides as far as I'm concerned-"

"Enough Nathan. For once just don't make a point out of everything!" Kristen suddenly raised her voice. There was a moment of silence before she spoke again.

"Let me do this. I don't need an earful. Just please, let me do this." She pleaded. 

Nathan looked at her with a dumbfounded expression.

"Alright."