Zeno Act 5 Chapter 20 My True Colors Part 1

The moment I entered the clubroom, the intense smell of effort almost overwhelmed me. The floor mats was sullied with spilt water and sweat. The taste of salt hung high in the air. Despite the running AC and fans, this place was on the lukewarm side.

Ohgi wasn't lying when he said this place was a mini-dojo. The room was a bit bigger compared to the others he showed me. The decoration of potted bonsai and other traditional katana props blessed this room with a touch of soft yet firm elegance and positivity. With the peaceful yet vibrant art in place, I can tell they must have some great theraputic mediations here.

It almost brought a 'smile' to my face.

There were four corners in this room each pronounced by different colored tatami mats. In the upper right and red corner there was about four or six people training on an offensive orientated version of martial arts in pairs. Adjacent to it in the left blue corner four people was learning a pure defensive Aikido technique that felt like a diluted version of what I use. In the other places other students vigoriously trained in traditional styled kendo, with the added foreign cultured french fencing as an elective.

I see. So the sensei of this place created a curriculum to help the young pupils defend themselves with or without weapons. They even mixed compatible aspects of fencing and kendo training. All of this creates a wide and creative range of techniques designed to disarm the opponent and go straight in for the vital points. I wonder who did all of the handiwork to make this happen. Gotta hand it to him or her, because they deserve some serious credit. But why did these techniques feel so...parallel with what I learned when I was younger?

Well after laying my eyes upon a girl my age, all my questions became clear. This lady wore a traditional female Ki getup with sakura flowers and tree branches lining the design. With her black belt in place and the geniuine looking sheathed sword at her hip, her aura was a cut above the rest. It was obvious this lady was the master overseeing the training.

Kotori Murasume Sakai.....

No fucking way.....

She had just finished giving a couple of pointers to some guy by the aikido area. She bowed sightly before walking off to grab a bottle of water. Her face was drenched in sweat with her ponytail shifting out of its tie.

I assumed she planned to resume training with her pupils, but that changed when she caught sight of the two of us. Her eyes widden with shock and surprise, her hands almost dropping the bottle she carried.

My hands however didn't grow lax. No... far from it. Instead they bawled so tightly, I could feel my fingernails dig into my palms. 

Oh hOw mUcH i WaNt tO wAlK uP tO hEr aNd bAsH hEr iN HeR.....No! No!! Calm yourSelF.....shit....

....can'T leT iT lEaK.....

When KoTorI made eye contact with us, I didn't notice Ohgi flinch harder. I just stood here looking at her in response. What expression was I making?

Was my facade still working? Or did everything I tried so hard to work on just fell apart by the seams?

Ohgi walked near the door we came in from and dropped the banners. "Fuck....I had a feeling she was going to be here...!" He mumbled aloud. Once he finished he came up to me trying to get a move on. "Whats the hold up dude?" He asked me in a rushed tone. Looks like he was trying to suppress some fear in his face and voice.

I dropped the load I carried and walked away from him without a word. Away from him....and towards KoToRi.

~~~

I averted my gaze from KOtorI and started walking around HeR, similar to how two wrestlers circled the ring before a fight. Each step I took subtly closed the distance between the two of uS.

After four long, and emotional years being away from hEr, I spoke aloud. "Nice dojo you got." To my surprise despite the craziness of my thoughts, my voice and manner was still calm. I look around the room addressing the peaceful astestic. Perhaps it was that what helped kept myself under control.

KOTorI sighed, as if to allievate stress and express relief. HeR tension was cut a bit when I decided to avert my gaze. "Thanks.....took me some time to make."----"You enjoyed that time?" I stopped walking and asked...my voice still sounding calm, but a bit 'dead' on the inside.

KoToRI rubbed the back of her neck. "I guess?"----"You guess huh....." sHe stiffened slightly before replying. "No....I did. It was a wonderful project to work on."-----"Yeah.... its a fitting place for my parents' teachings....."

ShE wasn't petrified like Ohgi, but sHe froze in place....tension began escalating again. Silence followed up shortly after. The sounds of grunts and "HAIYA!" filled the gap.

I walked towards one of the 'props' hanging on the wall. My hand glossed over the sheathed blades. It had a perfectly smooth hilt, and sturdy yet glossy wood. In response sHE wavered hEr hand over the sheath by heR hip. Perhaps it wasn't out fear but for the sake of preparation.

"Why...." HeR voice shook a bit out of hesistation.

WhY!? WaS tHaT rEaLlY a QuEstIoN yoU dArE aSk mE!?

"Why what?" My voice 'died' again, becoming colorless and void of emotion.

"Why are you here?...." I'm too 'afraid' to turn around and look hEr in the face. If I did, I might risk waking up inside some prison cell. I need to find some way to silence my thoughts and relax.

Just calm down Zeno...

CaLm doWn!? HoW cAn I!?

Don't let your emotions get ahead of you...

ANd wHy NoT!? YoU kNoW WhAt SHe DiD!

Suppress the desires

SuPpReSs!? FuCk THaT! LeT LoOsE!!

"All good questions.....all good questions....why are any of us here exactly?" My hand glossed over the sword prop with more intensity. KoToRi's eyebrows shifted.

StOP bEaTiNg ArOunD thE bUsH!

Stay calm....steady yourself Zeno. This isn't the time or the place.

FuCK ThAT. JuSt BeAt HeR AsS!!

My hand grabbed the sheath with an intense grip, as I closed my eyes and try to tune out reality. I was trying to hold on and survive this wave of rage.

Fuck....the only way I can win out on this is if I go in and face the problem from within. I have to silence....no I need to 'kill' that voice within me.

It wasn't hard to dive into the depth of my mind and search my thoughts.

~~~

Right now my mind was becoming a deep and endless abyss. Any speckles of light that I didn't know still existed was being swallowed by the mouth of a black hole. It was even dragging me in with its powerful vaccum.

I reach out trying to grab onto to anything in particular, but of course to no avail.

The black hole had dragged me in. Once I crashlanded into its dephts I struggled to get up.

Unfortunately like how scientists researched the place was so dense it became hard to breathe. To make matters worse planetary level gravity crushed me above keeping me pinned down with intense pressure. The more I struggled the more I could feel each of my spinal bones and tissues ache, expand in inflammation before violently imploding.

Damn it! Get up!

I look to anaylze my surroundings. Pain and chaos diluting my thoughts...

"YoUr nOt gOinG nOwhEre!" A familar voice replied to me with a meancingly deadpan tone. Why was it familar? It was obvious. That voice was mine.

I couldn't look up due to the gravity but a dreadful presence was closing in. My sixth sense was shouting out to me. Something dangerous.....something ungodly was approaching me. For once in my life I actually felt like I NEED to flee and cower in fear. Despite my wishes I was stuck here.

A low hanging multicolored fog settled in, suffocating me in pure hostility and hatred.

As it carressed me into its thick yet tight embrass the pressure would increase dramatically. If this was real life, the first five minutes would have left me nothing more but human kool aid.

....I wish I was d----- no I gotta stay strong.....these thoughts would just cloud my judgement. This is just a dream.....this pain....this world I trapped myself in....its nothing more but a FaCaDe I have built for myself.... so in reality... I should be fine right?...right??

"FaCaDe ThIs, fAcAde tHaT. ItS alL fAkE iN tHe eNd isN't iT? IS tHaT TrUlY wHaT yOu bElIeVe!? IS tHaT tRUlY wHaT yOu FeEL!?" The voice spoke again, his calmness switching to that of anger.

No...that wasn't the same voice....or was it?

In the midst of the cacoon I'm trapped in, a red piece of the fog contorted into a face eerily similar to mine. Except that face had a geniuine angry expression.

Followed by him as his, mine(?), accomplise, another piece of the fog did the same. This time it was blue and.... miserable. "sToP pLayInG tHe FoOl.... wHy aRe yOu suPprEssiNg yOur trU....."

SHUT UP. DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE.

"YeS. FiNALlY. YOU'rE ExPReSSinG yOUrseLf! EvEn iF ItS fOr A MiNuTE....SHoW HeR YoUR TrUE CoLoRS!" A yellow piece of the fog came to me, with its expression that of a smirk and a smile.

My.....TrUe cOlORs?

~~~

My heAd and ears starTed to tighten and ache as if I was on a fliGht. PressUre steadily built up. FuCk...

"Can we just cut to the chase already?" KotoRi asKed, helping me back snap back to reality.

CuT.....YeS, CuT, SlAsH, DiCe, SlIT!

Extremely dangerous thoughts ran through my mind. Bloody scenarios started to replay. Even still I fought hard to supress myself.

WhY aRe YoU sO dAmN pErIsTanT!?

....I caN't be left alone right now. nO maybe I need to be aLone...? I need to be alone with someone I can trUst...OhGi!?

BeComing fEd uP with this situation, I opEn my eyes and lOok behind mE. Ohgi was still standing by the door where he oriGinally was. His exprESsion was that of pure hoRror and shock. Unfortunately before I even noticed him, my eyes defAUlted its GaZe ToWaRdS KoToRI.

Her expression wasn't as shocked as Ohgi nor was she frightful. If anything she was just wary before asking another question.

"Do you.....do you hate me?" She asked, already expecting me to answer the word 'yes'.

HaTe?....

...ha.....hehe...HahaaAHaa....heeeHe.....Hhhahaa....Ahhaha.

"No." I tell her, unaware of what tone I used. But hOnEsTly I don't caRe. Her eyebrow lifted, but her guard lowered slightly.

"I DeSpIsE yOu." I finished before unsheathing the blade from its prop and aimed it for her exposed neck.