"You don't poor gassiline on a fire to put it out." Gamma Jack

My head was still reeling from the revalation that I had to have sex with this enormous man. Was he expecting me to make love to him? I couldn't bring myself to do it. He may be handsome and any other girl would count herself lucky to get half a chance at sleeping with him, but I was still in love with Trebin. How could I betray him like that? 

"No matter on that." I said dismissively waving my hand in the air. "I don't think I will ever get used to other men trying to help me with things."

"Eventually you will. But you don't have to right away. We have the rest of our lives to get used to each other." He gave me a sad smile, as if he just realized that he couldn't betray his love either.

"Can we talk.... about this sex thing?"

"Interesting that you didn't say 'love making'. Could it be that you don't want to see it that way?"

"Do you? I mean, I'm not her." I felt a sharp stab of pain and knew that I was right when his face fell and his eyes went to the bed.

"No. You're not her and I'm not him. It's just sex. No love making involved. And if you want to close your eyes and pretend for the night that I am him, I won't hold it against you. I will probably do the same."

"I won't have anything to go by. Other than his looks." I walked to the window and stared out at the night landscape. I saw several wolves coming and going along the edge of the clearing. I knew that they were much bigger than they first appeared from up here. "Trebin and I never consumated our love."

"You're a virgin?" He sounded surprised to learn that fact. "That will make it harder for me to pretend that you're her."

"Let me guess, she was experienced in all forms of pleasure and could make you cum with just a look."

"No. I actually took her virginity. I don't think she enjoyed it half the time. But it was a time that I paid attention to her. Probably the only time I showed her any kind of warmth was when we made love." He sounded as if he might cry. "She must have been so fucking lonely here. Like Trebin she was human and her parents were very much against us being together. They disowned her when she left to be with me."

"What kind of mother could do that to her own child." I couldn't believe that Maranda's mom could cut off all contact with her because she chose to be witigh someone she loved. 

"Karen could. They are the kind of people that don't really like supernaturals. To quote her father 'demons and beasts and devil-worshipping hags.' I can believe they never liked that I dated her and tried to break us up more than a few times." He stared blankly at his hands. "All they had to do was let us be together. It was a mistake to listen to my father's advice. I should have realized it before it killed my mate. She was not the first one to fall victim to the Luna curse."

"I don't understand. There's a curse?"

"Not a curse from a witch. Alpha's are supposed to have no weaknesses. That is what a true mate is. She is a blessing and a curse. But we don't want our enemies to find out we have a weakness so we keep them at arms length. We act cold towards them. As a result they end up isolated from the pack so that we are their only form of comfort. But ice does little when you crave warmth. My own mother committed suicide and I don't know if Maranda's death was an accident or intentional." He had silent tears running down his face now. "She was my everything. And I killed her. She was all alone here and I could pull my head out of my ass to see that she had developed a drinking problem. Jack tried to warn me that I was loosing her but I did care."

I didn't know how to respond to his confession. What do you say when the man you are about to marry admits his failure as a husband and lover? What could I say? 'sorry you were so cold towards the woman you loved it killed her'?

"Did you really love her at all?" I asked without thinking.

"What did you just say?" He looked at me and there was murder in his ice blue eyes.

"If you really loved her, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I would be marrying someone else." I let my words be the slap in the face that he probably need. "You can say it's a curse all you want but it's your fault that Maranda is dead. If you had shown her any love when she came here she would still be alive. You can say it's not your fault all you want and you can blame her too. But it doesn't change the fact that you killed her."

"I never said it wasn't my fault. You're right I did kill Maranda. I suffocated her in the frigid air of my love. And I will probably do the same to you. I hope you are ready for that."

"It doesn't matter to me. If you are cold as ice I can find warmth in another man's bed. Don't think I didn't notice the way you looked me over or the lust in your eyes." I snapped back. "If you can get aroused by my looks so can any other guy here."

White hot rage flashed in his eyes as the turned pitch black. For the first time since he entered the room, I was afraid of what he might do. "Then go." He growled softly. "But don't expect this door to be unlocked when you return." He stormed over to the door and held it open. This was my chance to escape the blaze that I had started so carelessly. I rushed from the room and didn't look back as I bolted down the stairs. I could hear the door slam behind me and a door to the left opened as I ran to the other end of the next floor down. 

"Luna! What the fuck are you doing out here?" Jack's harsh words were like a safety blanket and I stopped and spun around. I didn't even try to hide the fear on my face. "I'll fucking kill him." He snarled and the man that had taken my mother when we arrived grabbed his arm to stop him.

"I think that there's more to the story than you think. You said they were getting along just fine when you left. So what changed, Luna?" His tone was gently and lacked accusation.

"He...he told me what happened to Maranda. I just had to speak with out thinking and it set him off." 

"Come in here and tell us what you said." I nodded and entered his room only to see a pretty girl of about twenty four coming out of what I assumed was the bathroom. 

"Next heat cycle I'm duct taping your dick to your- oh!" She looked suprised to see me. "Tell me when we have a guest, Calvin."

"I'm sorry my love. You can certainly tape my dick wherever you want to." He smiled as he scooped her up and carried her to the bed and threw her down as she giggled. I wished that it could have been me and Drake. I couldn't understand my jealousy over such a thing. Suddenly two identical boys shot out from under the blankets and launched themselves at Calvin. 

"Portect the mommy!" One hollard as the landed on Calvin's head.

"Oh no! I'm out numbered! Retreat! Retreat!" He yelled and fell to the floor. 

"HA! We got you now villain! The boy yelled as the other stood on the edge of the bed and launched himself into the air. "Wait Mat don't!" It was too little too late for him to stop his brother. I watched as the boy on the floor with Calvin scrambled out of the way. Everything slowed down as the boy in the air fell gracefully towards Calvin's midsection. He land with a whoosh of air from the large man. And he rolled over on to his side in the fetal position.

"Damn Mat. You knocked the wind out of your dad." Jack laughed. "I see no reason not to call this one. Luna, would you do the honors?"

"What?" I stammered lamely.

"Any match is considered an official sparring match when you're talking about the alpha court. That is you, me, Clara, Calvin, and Drake. So you need to call the victory."

"Oh...um.....Victory goes to....um..."

"I'm Damen and that's Mat." Said the boy who had done all the yelling. "I'm the oldest so I am future beta Damen."

"Well Victory goes to Future beta Damen and Mat. Good job you two. Excellent team work." I smiled gently at the boys and saw the woman coming out of the closet with an aluminum baseball bat.

"So where is my idiot brother? I'm going to make sure he gets the message this time!" She growled as she tapped the bat on her shoulder and started for the door. 

"Honey! My sweet little honey bee! Think of the baby!" Calvin said as he rushed to stop her.

"Good point I should tell him I'm pregnant. That way he won't fight back when I beat some sense into him." She half snarled.

"Not what I meant. Listen there is more to it than you think. Let's just hear her out. Then you can knock some sense into him, okay?"

"Fine. But you better hold him down for me."

"Whatever you want my sweet goddess." All eyes in room went to me.

"So what did you say that set off Drake?" Jack asked and I knew that I couldn't avoid the subject any longer.

"I asked him if he even loved Maranda." Dead silence filled the room.

"Who's Maranda?" One of the twins asked.

"She was your uncle Drake's mate along time ago." The girl said and a sad look crossed her face. "But I don't see why that would set him off. We accuse him of not loving her all the time."

"Witchs can turn words into weapons and make you feel ever little bit of pain that you inflict on others." Calvin said. "In that moment, Drake felt exactly how Maranda felt during her time here."

"Two whole years of cold isolation will drive any one mad. Imagine feeling it all at once. He must have lashed out. Maybe his wolf stopped him."

"We fought after that and I may have told that if he was going to treat me the same that I would find the love he with held from someone else. That's when he kicked me out."

"Damnit Rosemary! You don't poor gassiline on a fire to put it out!" Jack growled angrily.

"I was scared Jack! I didn't know if he would hurt me! I did what I had to do to get out of that room! I can't fight him! Not physically!"