Zek

"All sounds simply enough, I guess," I said to Gordez, looking over the grocery list he'd had me compile. Hammers, wrenches (a kit of different sizes), 1-inch screws, and any other sizes you see (the more, the merrier), screwdrivers, a crowbar, 2-inch thick metal plating) "The tools should be simple, but it may be a bit tougher getting the metal plates we need."

"We can focus on that later. For now, I just need some equipment to be able to start stripping the bad sheets from the engine before it warps anymore under the heat and gets in the way of the machinery."

"Fair enough."

"Am I getting reimbursed for what I spend in town?" Ka'lira asked.

"It's coming out of your pay," Gordez joked.

"Wait," I interjected. "We're getting paid?"

Gordez smiled, turning back to Zadok and…Kosah. Was going to take a while for me to learn their names. I turned to Ka'lira, "Well, this about covers what you're going to be looking for if you manage to find a trace of civilization out there, not that I'm counting on it."

"Who knows? I might come across a natural reserve of…" she looked at the list over my shoulder where I was holding the list, her chin brushing against my shoulder as she did so, almost resting her head on it, reading "adjustable spanner wrenches. Whatever the hell those are."

I smiled, enjoying the feeling of her momentarily resting her head on my shoulder, even if it was more in a joking manner that romantic one, but hey, it was a step in the right direction. At least, I wanted to think so.

She leaned back against the catwalk railing, tapping against the open spot next to her for me to join in. I leaned against it as well, not sure if the heat in the room was from the engines as Gordez's crew worked desperately to stop them from overheating, or something else.

"So how am I doing?" she asked.

"Pardon?"

"Getting assimilated. You know, fitting in?"

"Oh please. You were fitting in the practical moment you got here."

"That's a lie if I ever heard one. I saw the way they looked at me, eyeing me up and down as though they didn't trust me."

I had to stop myself from laughing. "They looked at you that way because you were the first girl they'd seen in years. A soldier doesn't see a real girl for years on end, the first one they see, no matter how pretty or ugly, they imagine fucking them."

"What a vivid image, except you didn't look at me that way. So what? You saying I'm not 'fuck-worthy' by your words?"

Gordez's head shot around the moment he heard that, not sure what in Raava's name he was hearing, the expression on his face enough to make me burst out laughing if I wasn't preoccupied trying to find the safest way out of this trap, at least until Ka'lira also saw Gordez's face and burst out laughing, saying, "I'm just screwing with you, but look Zek, I know the faces of guys who want to take me. You forget where you found me in the first place. And those weren't the faces I saw here. The people here, they're decent, good people. It's been too long since I could say something like that. But I was a newcomer, a risk, and the look I saw, that's what it was, distrust."

I sighed in relief, so glad she gave me a tactical retreat from that corner I found myself trapped in, saying, "You can't blame them, Ka'lira. We all were, still are, on edge."

"Oh I don't blame them at all. I get it. I just want to hope I've moved past that."

"You have. Without a doubt. Now the ones in question are those two."

"Kosah and Zadok? I trust 'em?"

"Really now?" I asked, amused at how she'd come to that conclusion. "And why's that?"

"I don't know. They just seem innocent and well-meaning. Eager even. Though I imagine going against their country's a bit tough on them."

"It's not really accurate to say we're going against one single country. I mean, you saw what happened at Jianghe. That incident at the blockade, nothing by comparison. This is just about trying to do the right thing."

"So if it were to come to a choice between the lives of civilians, and the lives of Fire Nation soldiers, which would you choose."

And I thought about that for a moment, knowing clearly what the correct answer was, but I wasn't trying to give her the correct answer. I wanted to give her the truth. The trouble was, I wasn't even so sure what that was, what it meant, until I remembered what Boss had told me once.

"When you turn your blade on somebody who can't defend themselves, you stop being a soldier. You become a killer. A true soldier doesn't fight because he hates what's in front of him, but because he loves what's behind him. A real wouldn't turn his blade on the weak, but a killer would, and I know whose side I'd take."

The answer seemed to not only satisfy her but impress her in a way. I cleared the bead of sweat that had grown on my forehead in anticipation of her response which luckily, had been unwarranted.

She looked off in the distance for a while, at the inner hull of the Patriot. I wondered what she was thinking as I looked off down the catwalk, but in reality, was looking at her with the corner of my eyes, comparing how much different she looked now than from when I first saw her almost a month and a half ago.

She'd been so skinny, clearly underfed. Her nose was broken, and she wore the bruises on her like a soldier wore armor, hiding behind them, terrified. Yet now, she looked alive, she looked happy even. Her hair had grown out. She wore it in a braid she jokingly promised to teach to me one day to one side of her head, going down around 5 inches past her shoulder. She eventually had managed to fit into our smallest size of clothing now that she was finally getting some weight on her. And she wore it well, wore it with such comfort and confidence despite everything that had happened in her past, as though this was her new chance.

It was a new chance for everybody. I tried to forget those early days in the army, and the things I'd done. I tried to forget the face of the first girl I forced myself on. A "rite of passage" my first squad, Killian Squad, had called it. She was terrified, and I didn't enjoy a minute of it. I tried to stop myself from finishing, as though that would be my silent protest to what the rest of the soldiers, no, monsters, had wanted me to do, and was ashamed when I did. I regretted that day ever since.

I got my second chance when Boss found me and made a request with my CO to have me put into Squad Iron Fire. The reassignment was approved, and I was able to leave that past behind. I learned 3 days later that Killian Squad had been wiped out in an Earth Kingdom ambush. I shed no tears for me, but I did for that girl, and how terrified she was, of me. And that was the worst part of it. There was no feeling worse in the world than having somebody look at you and having their first reaction be that of fear.

But when Ka'lira looked at me, like she did just then when her eyes met mine for a small moment and she smiled, I knew what I wanted somebody to think when I saw me. I knew what I wanted her to feel when she saw me. When I saw her, I saw somebody who was able to go through so much yet become stronger for it, and I admired her for that, for the amazing, strong, beautiful person I saw next to me.

I wanted to say just as much until Ka'lira turned her head to where I was looking and said, "Ah. There's the man of the hour."

I saw who she was referring to as Luke dismounted the ladder leading down, already seemingly overwhelmed by the heat below decks, pulling off his overcoat accordingly. Damn. Just a few more minutes would've been nice.

"What the hell is that heat?" Luke complained as droplets of sweat could already be seen forming on him.

"That is the heat of big business my friend," I said, laughing off my missed opportunity. Next time, I promised myself. "And you are to be our errand boy," I finished, handing him the shopping list.

He looked over it. "I don't know what half of this stuff even fucking means."

"That's why our job is to find civilization and find somebody who does," Ka'lira responded. "Guess we should get going." She turned to me. "Wish you were coming along, Zek. But I guess the Patriot will be your date for the day."

"You wish. Accompanying a woman while shopping. I almost feel bad for you, Luke."

Luke had no desire to enter the banter and was merely watching in amusement as he ascended the ladder.

"Oh don't get jealous. Next time I'm taking you along with me. I'll let you buy me something nice" she finished with a blink.

And by the time I had fully comprehended what she was saying, she was gone. "Wait," I heard myself say to nobody in particular. "Was she flirting with me?"