Katawaredoki

~Markus~

There was once a time when you said that I was vivacious, Dad.

You claimed that I was charming and handsome, outgoing. That I wanted to see all of someone rather than just a part. That I was curious about the entire solar system and not simply one particular star.

But now, when I look up at the heavens above us, do you know what I think about? I think about what kind of person you used to be, Dad. Not myself. For one, if I was so charismatic and extroverted before, how do I not remember it? If it actually happened and was thus the truth, then should I recall that time? Or was it all just a self-serving lie, only for you?

I trust that the real truth will be the latter.

Who was I to you, my father? For what purpose do I exist? Do I have a point? If not, then did I have one when I was born? To me, I believe that my sole reason for existence was simply so that you would have something to drag you along in life. Which is what I did for a very, very long time.

But it's not like you even appreciated that. You probably didn't appreciate it because you thought that "useless children shouldn't try to help others if they're useless". But am I so useless now? Only a little while ago, I succeeded in something that you wouldn't have dreamed I'd be capable of doing--I found someone that belonged to me.

It was quite simple, really--who knew that it would be so easy to find her? I sure as hell didn't. I thought that she'd be hiding somewhere impossible to locate, or that she'd bolted to another country or something. But no. She wasn't anywhere I expected.

She had fled in plain sight, just across the street from me.

​​​​​​​~~~

~Ramona~

It was a rare day today. 

If you were to ask me why, especially after receiving a letter in the mail from my insane ex-boyfriend, I think that I would only respond with an exhausted sigh.

Today's rare because Liam is painting. 

And, based on trying not to collapse altogether from trauma and shock, I was watching him. Silently and steadily, eyes flickering from Liam's precise hands to his easel. I was his sole audience member--and I think that's all that he wanted. Not to have a huge crowd of judging eyes, but perhaps a single particular person who didn't know him quite well enough to lay down a verdict. 

As the observer, I had to note his mannerisms down mentally. The way that his eyes caught on every stroke he made with his brush. How his foot tapped in an unusual rhythm. How Liam's hands trembled ever so slightly when he swapped colors. I observed it all, absorbing it like it was the most useful information known to man.

A part of me wished to witness this phenomenon as the painter himself--I was curious about how he saw his creation unfolding like so. What was going through that guy's head on a regular afternoon? Liam was so happy-go-lucky around me that I wouldn't even notice if he acted any differently.

Liam's left foot suddenly slammed down into the wood floor for a beat, and I blinked. I didn't have to push my head around his shoulder to know that he'd messed up. The foot-smashing was proof of that. I supposed... that the letter was putting both of us on edge recently. No wonder things had been quite tense. 

But if I couldn't notice anything else about him, then that was something I had.

Some part of me vaguely wondered what Liam was painting, as the canvas was covered with the blackened outline of several circles, all at once. What was he trying to portray with something like that? An emotion? An event? Or nothing at all?

I noticed his eyes swivel over to me, catching on the edge of his eyelashes with a dash of jade. By now he wasn't even looking at his painting; he was just staring at me from the corner of his eye while wiping some paint off his hands.  

I swallowed, observing the creases in my palms with a newfound sort of fake wonder. Liam was making me suddenly insecure, and I didn't like that feeling at all. 

I silently considered the idea of just staring right back at him, quiet and intense into those eyes of his. How would Liam react then? Would he flinch and stop looking at me so hard, or would he just widen his eyes and stare even more?

I shuddered at the thought of the latter. But I knew that wouldn't work. Liam wasn't the type to be scared about anything, much less scared of some random person like me. Not to mention that my eyes were completely boring--a dull shade of brown compared to his brilliant emerald. 

Liam seemed quiet and delicate sometimes, while other moments were spent being rowdy and rambunctious. He was multi-faceted while I was boring and still. Liam was artistic and beautiful while I was burdened and half-baked. 

Those thoughts, which I recognized as true, sat hushed on my shoulders without a word. They dug their talons into my arms and delighted at the sight of blood trickling down my body. Of course, I also wouldn't attempt to take them off of me--as I knew just how true they were.

You can't change a fact.

My eyes adjusted to the dimmed light of the room, as Liam had just flipped off the lights. What, was he doing something with glow-in-the-dark paint now?

He was. Pulling a canister out of a bottom cabinet, he slipped the plastic cover off of it before settling back onto his stool. Dabbing his brush into the fresh paints, he slid the bristles over the canvas just as he spoke into the darkened room.

"You know that everything's going to be fine, right?" His eyes drifted over to meet mine with a burden within them, and I stiffened as he did. His body was taut and rigid as he talked, though. Like just saying a few words was an extremely difficult and tedious of a task.

I shuddered with my response, my hair falling over my shoulders almost gracefully. "...Yeah. Sure, I do."

He blinked, staring at me from the corner of his eye again. But this time, it was different. The green glancing at me was more exhausted than I'd ever seen it before and seemed as if it was about to collapse.

At that, I flinched. Hard. Nearly trembling as I pulled myself from my seat, I gave him a nod as an excuse to leave. He didn't nod back.

He just turned his head back to the easel and continued, silent like he was the last person in the world.

~~~

~Ramona~

The first signs of Autumn came sooner than we expected, and when they did, they showed up so quickly that we felt ourselves more intimidated than anything else.

Streaks of gold and brilliant orange now colored the countryside, sparking the forest surrounding us with light and flame. The sky had turned an unfamiliar shade of baby blue. The breeze now nipped at our cheeks and bore our noses bright scarlet after being outside too long.

Overcast days had become more common, quiet and foreboding in the wind. When staring out into the vast expanse of wood just beyond the house, you couldn't help but notice the seemingly ridiculous amount of leaves that had already fallen. They came in burdened, fiery reds and silent, shouldered orange. But through all the newfound details of our world around us, we couldn't help but notice the fact that we suddenly felt very, very alone. 

The evenings were dense and chock-full of unexplained tension that nobody could quite identify. The silence that hung heavy on our strained conversations seemed to grow deeper with every word, with every awkward shrug that we managed. Our eyes no longer fluttered to the other, but to whatever we were doing that looked so much more important.

So our world had changed more than we were able to admit, yes.

But I don't think that we were going to be able to say exactly what it is--or rather, I don't think that we were ready. Things were happening much too quickly for us to even comprehend it, so there wasn't a doubt in the world that we wouldn't be able to talk about what was bothering us. 

Which of course, the thing that was bothering us was the letter. What else could it possibly be other than that?

Unspoken words dragged on our shoulders as burdens rather than bothers. Instead of the rigidity of our few conversations weighing down on me, it was weighing on both of us, and Liam could tell.

But at the same time, through all of that, there was a quiet sense that things couldn't go on like this, couldn't keep running as if nothing was wrong. We couldn't avoid the clear, couldn't avoid the thing that was directly in front of us and staring us square in the eyes. Otherwise... would it go away at all?

It wouldn't.

Days fell behind others without a word, countless sunsets and sunrises catching up on the calendar. Hours upon hours of stiff reconciliation and secret glances at the other were met with our muscles going taut. The wind picked up in strong gusts and blew at the windows like a tornado, dying leaves thrown about the forest. Twigs no longer snapped between our feet, but mine alone.

The silence grew unbearable.

Well, what exactly do you want to say to him, Ramona?

My eyes twitched at the voice, glancing around me to see if Liam was around. When I found that he wasn't, I stared down at my palms. 'I don't know. You tell me.'

A chuckle sounded out from the darkness, quiet and eager. How am I supposed to know? You're Ramona Syleman and I'm quite obviously not.

'Then... don't you know what you are?'

Of course, I do. But that doesn't mean that I agree with it, you see. Why am I not allowed to change, while every human I haunt is?

I blinked before I allowed myself to laugh nervously. 'Because you're Fear. You're different from the rest of the things in our minds, different from a human.'

An invisible eyebrow rose in intrigue at that, claws scratching at an imaginary surface. I'm not sure if I even want to believe you there.

I sighed heavily at that, my hands flopping to my sides in resignation. 'Okay. You can do whatever you want, it's not like I can control you.'

A giggle erupted from the shadows, strangely exultant and excited. Oh, of course, you can! You just don't know how Ramona. Or rather... Those same scarlet fangs shone in the onyx, You just don't want to.

My eyes widened at that, my muscles tightening and water collecting as tears before I could stop anything. 'No. You're wrong, Fear. You're wrong, I want you gone, I want you to go!'

This time, a wicked growl ripped into a snarl, burdened and forthright. It broke through the barrier between us and reached out into my very soul, yanking it forward and sinking bloody teeth into it before I could gasp out in surprise. 

And, I suppose, Fear truly lives up to its name--because I felt none other than Fear seize my heart. Tightening its hold, whispering faint words of regret in my ear. Quickened, hot breath that reeked of whiskey and vodka wafted in my direction. Digging daggers into my bare flesh and attempting to claw out every drop of blood in my body.

I can't breathe, can't think. I can't do anything at all, because I know that I'm going to just die like this. I'm going to pass with regrets and a huge burden and too much to say, all because I underestimated what horrors lay within my mind. I thought I couldn't control Fear, and I was right.

My eyes wrenched shut as Fear's grip on my body pierced my skin. Sticky, warm crimson dripped onto the shadowed floor beneath us, falling like rain in a thunderstorm.

You're going to die, you're going to die, you're going to die~

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE, RAMONA! GET WITH THE GODDAMN PROGRAM! I KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO! JUST LET ME IN~

COME ON, RAMONA, DON'T BE A PUSHOVER NOW! I CAN TELL WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. IT'S SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS. GIVE IN TO ME, AND ALL OF THE PAIN WILL GO AWAY. IT'LL JUST...DISAPPEAR!

No?

You don't want to?

wHy NoT...?

YoU'rE mAkInG mE aNgRy, RaMoNa. YoU dOn'T eVeN hAvE aNyThInG tO lIvE fOr, So WhY cAn'T yOu JuSt GiVe uP...?

Oh. I see. You do have something to live for, after all?

And what would that be, dear?

Hah! As if he would care about you! You're a silly, silly person, Ramona. Or should I say stupid?

'You have no business... interfering. My question is... why can't YOU leave me alone?? Do you not have anyone else to idly torture like this...?'

Sweetie, you shouldn't try talking when you're not receiving any oxygen flow. Honestly, if you weren't being taken care of like this I'd--

Fear stopped abruptly, cobalt eyes flickering just above my already-mangled body on the dark ground. The blue in its eyes suddenly widened anxiously, quiet and frowning with disappointment and confusion. Without another word, claws ripped out of my skin, spraying red across the floor like it was nobody's business.

It was gone before I could blink.

Relief flooded my system before I could stop it, silent and strangely foreboding. Some part of me was oddly chilled my the darkened ground beneath me, but I welcomed the frigid surface. Compared to my sweating, crumpled figure that was roughly a few seconds away from passing out, this was like a blessing.

But I knew. I knew that it was there. I had caught it as I fell, I knew that it was coming as I lay there. I just... didn't want to acknowledge it. Not yet.

Strawberries and vanilla, a pleasant combination, wafted through the air. The scent caught in my lungs and widened my eyes involuntarily. It was gentle in the beginning like it was barely there. But as I lay there with my eyes starting to flutter shut, I knew just how strong it was growing just beyond me. 

Thin, calloused fingers grasped around my arms and lifted me up. But things didn't turn out how I had expected them to--as I felt the odd sensation of something on my head. 

Headphones?

Music tinkled in my ears, faint and unwelcome at first. I flinched at the sound, my eyes just barely twitching at it. But as the sound grew louder and more distinct, I knew what was now growing through the hazy mist that was my mind:

A voice, clear and formidable. But in the background of the voice was the softest of piano, which completely differentiated from the person singing. It sunk into my bones almost, almost made me want to sleep.

The music plinked on piano keys until my muscles slowly relaxed, my eyes drifting shut and open over and over again. Some part of me, vague and mysterious, questioned why I was hearing this at all. And that same part also didn't care--as long as it had the effect that it was having now.

And then, hushed and yet nearly exploding through my mind, I heard… Liam.

"You can open your eyes now."

They were closed in the first place…?

Something freezing brushed gently across my forehead, pulling my hair back and making me want to wince. One hand--no, two--silent and chilled to the touch, swept across my face like they were examining me. But I don't know what they were searching for. I was awake and I also wasn't, and I didn't want to open my eyes, for they were too plastered shut for me to give an attempt to. 

The hands left my face. I heard them fold together somewhere, far off and distant from me. The sound was muffled through something I couldn't identify, and I felt my right eye twitch through the quiet.

Piano keys plinked. The song was starting up again.

I don't know why, but it made me want to shiver violently. Perhaps it was just because of the shock that had occurred recently. Or maybe it was simply from the fact that the entire world around me, the one that I now heard through my ears, was extremely quiet.

"Are you okay, Ramona?" Liam spoke again, this time more muted through some sort of invisible barrier. 

A sigh sounded when I did not reply. But instead of being exhausted and frustrated like I expected it to be, it was short and puffy. Like he was gasping for air. Like he… was drowning.

That's when I realized it: the sensation of something wet dripping onto my wrist. There were no words that came with it, nor were there any more sighs, but I already knew what it was. No need for an explanation, because I had already experienced this more times than I was willing to count.

My fingers, numb and sort of half-sparking to life, clenched in a tedious fist. In and out. In and out, and they'll move again.

��Okay.'

My hands slipped over something plush. Blankets beneath me. Okay. I was on a bed, or a couch or something… and Liam was next to me? So that should make this easier…

Hiccupping breaths sounded from beside me, hands slapping to skin in an attempt to shut that person up. Liam's breathing was hitched and broken, like a cry out in the night. To Liam there might be something out there that he found absolutely depressing and worth crying over. Something that, once he saw it, he would immediately feel empathetic or it. But to me, there was nothing out there more sorrowful than the crack in someone's voice just before they began to sob.

And I heard that, again and again. More hands hitting him to hush his crying. A body trembling with the pressure of tears. And something within him, shattering with every drop that fell. Something that had absolutely, completely broken. Something that he knew he couldn't fix, because there it was missing without another word.

No. It wasn't something within Liam that he knew was broken. It was him. He knows that he's broken, and that's why all of this is happening.

"Liam. Did you not learn anything the first time that you cried in front of me…?"

A sudden halt in his tears wrenched my eyes open and dragged a smile onto my face. And all around me were the heavens above, foreboding and strangely eager in my eyes. They sparkled like actual stars rather than dots on a ceiling, and made me want to reach my hand out to them. Not my unscarred one, but the one that had become damaged goods by Markus's choices. I wanted to cry out at those celestial bodies and scream and kick at them and just ask what the hell God wanted from me. I wanted to swear every word in the book and smash my hands through the very walls. And I desired, more than anything, the sensation of power, of sheer adrenaline to run through my weary bones. The stars that rested just on top of our heads took more effect than we thought. They made me want to do everything that I had never done before--and maybe, just maybe, with them around, I could.

A light sigh escaped through lips that I realized were cracked, involuntarily touching them before realizing what I needed to do. Not observe the room I was in or try to ask Liam what was going on, but rather, I needed to do something I wouldn't have imagined doing any other day.

Liam, sitting on a stool next to me and absolutely starstruck with his jaw agape at me, blinked rapidly as I silently stuttered to life. I ignored the pain flooding my head as I sat up in the bed, my eyes instantly flickering over to meet his gaze. His facial expression, one that he might be too prideful to want me to see, was something that I will never forget. And it was one that made me need to hold him tight.

Which, of course, was the plan from the start.

There is nothing in my book that a simple hug can't fix--although, that's most likely just what cleans up my problems. Some part of my mind still vaguely remembers my mother hugging me as a child when I screwed up. Maybe those memories still stuck with me as an adult here with Liam? Ah, but that doesnt quite matter, now does it…?

'You can go on and hush, Fear. I've already had enough of you today, so you can just go and leave me be.'

A solitary chuckle and nothing else. Fine, fine. I'll do as Her Majesty so pleases. But just make sure…

You don't fuck up again.

I didn't respond, for the only thing that I could actually comprehend was Liam's face. Silent and shocked, hot tears still slipping down his cheeks. The sight was so nostalgic of our strange first meeting that it made me shiver. His body was rigid and shaking with the pressure of simply sitting still, I could tell. But all of it, all of the crying and all of the burdened glances he was giving me seemed so silly. What were we doing, acting like nothing was wrong? Why would we try to avoid the subject at hand as nothing existed in the world except for ourselves?

So we were silly. And maybe a bit stupid too.

The realization made me grin harder than I meant to as I slid my hands around Liam's back. A pair of black headphones, with the music still streaming out of them, clattered to the floor. And without a word, without a single thought, I sat there and let Liam's tears soak the back of my shirt.

It was quiet and the atmosphere was heavy and it was the most emotional I'd ever seen him. I didn't need to ask what was bothering him, necessarily; because Liam could tell me in his own time. He would tell me because he's one of the best people I've ever known and not one to lie to me.

He's Liam, and that's all that I need.

~~~

"So. Do you mind telling me what happened…?"

I tried speaking quietly into the air of the room, but the way that Liam was acting at that moment was throwing me off. His face was still contorted rather than normal, and every time I so much as glanced at it I'd flinch.

I fought the intense urge to either sigh, exhausted, or snort at his expressions. I chose the former instead of the latter, though. After a pretty heavy crying session, it's not the smartest idea to go giggling for no reason--otherwise, Liam might think that I was just laughing at him.

I sighed heavily into thin air, crisp oxygen shooting into my lungs like a bullet. I had no idea why Liam had insisted so much on going outside. But it didn't really matter, because I was still absolutely goddamn freezing no matter what.

The sudden change in weather had caught us both off guard without a doubt. We were both adjusting still to the frequent chill that rocked our bones every time we stepped outside to take a look.

Liam had chosen to go out on his balcony. I found that it was more inviting than I'd originally thought--as I'd imagined there would be no stars out to view that night. But I was sorely mistaken. Far beyond where we sat, with hot breath escaping our lips and flying out as puffs of quiet smoke, where the millions of stars that one could not possibly speculate. And, clear as daylight, we couldn't help but observe the other in the shadows.

Of course one had to notice how bright that night was. The stars above our heads stuck out like a flame on a stick. But something, somewhere, made me think that the only thing that shone the most brilliant out there was the light that sparked inside of Liam's eyes.

A slight grin quirked onto my face before I could stop it. I had to clamp my hand over my mouth not to let it show.

Seemingly unspoken words echoed into the midnight black that made nearly tremble with their weight. It was Liam, sturdy and strong beside me. And he didn't look like he was going to be as expressive as he had been before.

"I know that this is going to sound kind of odd, but…" Liam's eyes seemed to drag on every surface beyond us, "I was trying to see what you were doing whenever it all went down."

I just blinked at that.

"I don't know why I did it in the first place… I think that I was just bored or something?? Ugh. Anyways, you were just sitting at the kitchen table by yourself, staring off at the wall."

Liam scratched the back of his head in the night. "Some part of me was curious about why you were doing it though. So I sat there watching you until… it happened."

Although I was still mildly confused/slightly pissed at him essentially stalking me to see what I was doing, this was intriguing. What exactly had I done to make him so flustered?

"You were looking at the wall one second, and in the next instant you had collapsed, falling out of your chair and slumping onto the floor without a word. I immediately ran over to you, of course--" Liam sighed lightly before letting his arms slip to his sides with resignation. "But when I approached you, you were… so weird. I can't forget it."

What I expected for him to do was continue speaking about the situation. But before I could notice how it happened or really what, a familiar chilled hand had grasped around my own.

My heart and breath caught in my throat in a sort of ugly manner, and I knew that I had flushed out of humiliation rather than anything else. Liam was holding my hand…

"Your face was completely blank. Dull. You seemed as if you had just been completely wiped off the face of the earth or something. But at the same time, you were also muttering things under your breath. I couldn't identify what they actually were, though. They were too confusing to truly hear."

Even though a dude was holding hands with me, I managed to fight the urge to sigh of relief. Thank God Liam didn't know what was going on in my head then…

"Through all of that, you looked strangely terrified, like you were drowning and screaming. But your breath kept catching in your throat as if you were dying. It was… terrifying to witness."

Liam's index finger slid over the top of my thumb, and my body went rigid with shock. If he doesn't stop this right now I'm pretty sure I'm either going to have a panic attack or shit myself and honestly I can't handle any of those options. 

Brilliant green twinkled as leaves rustled nearby. Twigs snapped from still-awake squirrels. Owls swept from tree to tree to catch unsuspecting prey. But here we were, both Liam and I--two people who didn't know each other at all, but were still together. We shared the same space, ate the same food. Liam and I, we were like two halves of one whole, and that was somehow the weirdest thing that I could imagine. 

When my eyes closed in the night, out there on that balcony, my eyelashes stuck to my cheeks and my eyelids were oddly cold. A man's hand rested upon my own and words drifted through the air. And I was scared, sure--maybe even a bit terrified of whatever might meet us next. 

But that didn't mean I wasn't ready.

Liam told me all about it. How he had managed to pull me off the floor and settle me onto the bed. I didn't expect him to tell me the true reason why he was crying, and he didn't. But he still admitted he sobbed because he thought that something was horribly wrong with me.

Liam, there are so many more things wrong with me than there will ever be with you.

I knew that that was most likely only the partial reason. There was no way that Liam would cry like that over me, for heaven's sake. 

Dawn shattered through the trees at about 6 in the morning, earlier than I thought it would. And through the silence, through the quiet that made our souls wander, my fingers held tightly onto Liam's frigid hand.

~~~

~Ramona~

The afternoon was a lot lazier than I imagined it'd be, warm and hazy. Sleep came so easily to me that I found it was so much harder to stay awake than just pass out. And there had been a bit of a change around the house too, I supposed…

We'd gotten back inside when the light of morning was beginning to blind us, and I noticed that Liam looked as if he was a dead man walking. I giggled at him a little just as he nearly fell over… so I knew that he was probably not going to be able to make it back to his office.

And even so, when I had managed to drag him up there, I saw that there was no place for him to even rest. The floor was covered in books and documents and instrument cases and God knows what else. Except…

In the corner of the room next to the largest bookshelf was a large oval made of stacks of books. Old newspapers littered the floor within the circle to the point that it looked almost comfortable. Papers stuck out of the books in a sort of manner which seemed to resemble a pillow.

I couldn't believe this guy. He'd made a bed out of books and paper?

While one had to admire his sheer tenacity, I now knew where he actually went to sleep at night. And it was somewhere that I probably never would've checked. 

But as I was observing the makeshift bed, hauling Liam's half-asleep body behind me, I noticed how much farther the temperature in the office was from the rest of the house. It was almost like a freezer. Or was that just how cold Liam liked the room?

On the farthest wall was an open window that drifted freezing air inside, and I quickly shut it before doing anything else. With a heavy sigh I had dragged Liam back to his actual bedroom and flopped him onto the bed… which, of course, meant that he'd passed out within a second.

I seriously couldn't comprehend why Liam hadn't just made me sleep somewhere else. His bed was obviously much more comfortable than the papered floor, given how fast he'd fallen asleep like that. Even so, this was Liam I was talking about here, and not just someone off the street. Liam wasn't one to be crude like that, but he was someone who would self-sacrifice.

As I had fallen asleep next to his slightly-snoring self, I felt my lips curl in a small grin.

The rest of the day had been spent shutting all the windows and curtains before flouncing back onto his giant bed. Somewhere along the way I found myself half-asleep and covered in about five different blankets at once, only to find out that Liam had made us a fort out of blankets and pillows. To that I just had to laugh out loud. Honestly, what else was I going to expect out of such an opportunity and such a delicate person?

But now…

Sleep had somehow evaded me for the past hour, and my head wasn't liking it. The clock on the wall read 4 pm but I felt as if I could sleep the rest of the day and the entire night. Next to me, his figure darkened by the wall of blankets he'd made, was Liam, curled up into a fetal position.

Facing me and hugging his knees, his tufts of baby pink hair scrunched up into the pillows messily. His rimless glasses lay folded next to him on the sheets, spotless. Liam's eyes twitched with every other breath he took, eyelashes catching on the edge of his eyes almost gracefully. Flashes of green met me when his eyes just barely opened before slipping shut again.

One fact remained in my mind as I observed, however: I should not wake him up.

Because, while I was busy staring at him and lying down on my side, he was busy sleeping off taking care of me after I'd passed out. There were so many questions for him that were overflowing in my mind, too. Why were you trying to see what I was doing? What happened that night when I made dinner? Why aren't you telling me this in the first place? But I still didn't dare ask. Not yet. Not until Liam was ready to admit it. Otherwise, that's just not being a good person if I were to attempt to force the answers out of him.

Liam grunted slightly in his dreams, and I envied that he was still able to doze like that. 

Liam was someone who made your head involuntarily turn to stare when he walked down the street. Liam was the person who everyone gathered around to hang out with. Liam was the only one who knew how to cheer you up in tough times.

Too bad… I'm just Ramona Syleman, and not someone like him at all…

My eyes fell shut slowly just as something clasped around the side of my face. My face, contorting between shock and confusion, instantly relaxed with relief when I saw that it was just Liam. Liam, awake and alive, eyes burning a hole in my vision.

His voice was muffled with the sense of sleepiness, but he still managed to talk a bit. "Hey… you're you. Don'tcha… worry 'bout it." 'Kay?" Liam gave me a sort of dopey smile in the dim light before flopping completely over on his side to face me directly.

"Ramona Syleman can do anything that Liam Milsken can, you know."

I blinked for only a moment before stuttering out in sheer shock, "How did you--"

Liam held up a lazy hand to halt my speech before muttering, "It's so obvious what you're thinking, kiddo. It's all…" Liam gave an exultant yawn, "in your face."

Liam released his gentle hold from my face and yanked a blanket over himself, shivering. And once, just once, he waved me off and told me a quiet goodnight.

The whole experience was over before I could breathe. But that night, as the silence drew near again, I realized that silence itself wasn't unbearable--it just existed.

It's all about closing your eyes and learning how to listen to the sound.