4 Get busy living or get busy dying, make do, don't expect sympathy you are the devil, does a lone chaotic whimper in a arkham ward make a sound?

Disclaimer: The novel projects posted on here will be updated IRREGULARLY, I repeat IRREGULARLY.-you have been warned.

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(get busy living or get busy dying, make do, don't expect sympathy you are the devil, does a lone chaotic whimper in a arkham ward make a sound?)

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Looking at the playback of events in session like a horror movie flick In my mind, 

I sincerely *sigh* in pity for the former Edward and with my eyes closed exhaling rhythmically to readjust my affected emotions as I had immersed too deeply in the memory that some parts became like pov virtual reality.

I thought:

'I guess it's moments like this that make you realise the various good deeds that these broken people who outfit them selves strangely and become heroes actually do for the direct victims of crimes' 

' My Cynical 4th wall experience of heroes made them seem like lame, nosy do gooders, and full of self righteousness. 

Some are, but the great heroes despite their faults, go Above and beyond to correct the world to a better version of its self. 

naively seeking the best of both people and the world through their actions is Admiral to be the change you want to be in the world.'

Anti hero culture has poisoned many people on the conceptual act of what good is, to the point it became corny to care too much, or show vulnerability and love at all.

'Thank God for the do gooders or I wouldn't exists, and original Edward would be tortured in basement, strapped to a bed somewhere in a fate worst than death if he was waiting for the officers to send help.'

This is probably Edwards motivation to join the later justice league and pay it forward.'

'As for the beautiful but murderous crazy woman, she avoided the death penalty because of 'extenuating circumstances' and lives in arkham asylum till this day.'

If you want to make a metaphor, you can compare her to an unfertilized egg. 

The outside is bleached pure white without blemishes and symmetrical balanced and flawlessly beautiful looking on the surface, 

but once cracked the shell with a pop, the inside is chaotic yolk that sticks to any and everything it touches.

And Edward who was more than touched, tried to go on with his life despite being covered in the evil yolk of that woman. 

He Inherited a bit of wealth, the gynophobia was managed, only physically fine with a long time female maid who was on vacation during the incident.

So the loyal family butler was away taking care of the family business.

He got a dreadful call one day and came back to a horror scene.

When both maid and butler heard from a consulting police psychologists in the case, that Edward stopped resisting for theirs sakes when she threatened to kill them both.

The maid and family butler had shed tears, as they did not know they were close to death at all, they owed their lives to Edward and swore to follow and support the grant family legacy.

(Ah- I remember, 

That police invited Psychologists was from Arkham, her name...was Dr. Q-...whatever, she most likely won't remember me after all these years, we both changed a lot thankfully and we won't have intersections in the future.)

Anyway, as talented people, my families staff were multifaceted and took over the responsibility of caring for Edward.

 But without the shield of his parents now gone, the cracks had began to show and the Fall of the family was expected. 

The business, influences, and connections with so called friends all disappeared one by one.

The masses treated Edward terribly, not like a victim at all, but a scourge to be avoided, afraid the bad luck was contagious while others gloated at the families misfortune.

Most of the time, men get no sympathy for any kind of violence against them past a certain age.

Especially this type of psychological and sexually brutality of that kind when it's the man as a "victim",  the 'majority' of both the sexes look down on the seriousness of the case, not realizing that a violation is a violation.

Edward withdrew from that affluent scene from than on and lived a humble life, secluded life, only now with a new mental affliction of gynophobia and nightmares.

When ever he was around women, Edward has panic attacks, breaks out into cold sweats, and becomes physically sick.

Seeking to make up for a part of life that was missing forever, Edward drowned himself in extracurricular activities, as to not think about things.

Then the Vigilante craze began, and Edward was inspired and vowed to help with his power that manifested later in his life.

As a Meta-human with exemplary telekinetic ability, with a peak human strong body crafted over the years by not being distracted by female relationships, family, friends, or social events and social media, Edward through himself in to body building and  completing fitness standard work outs of different types of professions like firemen, boxing, marines, navy seals, etc...

and with a telekinetic shield that gives durability enough to take a punch from some of the best heroes at full power, he was more than qualified at once to join the hero league.

However,

Because of his mental condition that he disclosed, he was restricted because of his response and his flexibility when women are involved.

In this way Edward became a Support hero.

when lives weren't directly depending on him, He was gladly there volunteering to help.

With his power and mindset, Edward eventually fit in the justice league reserve member team when not going solo on his own helping others...at a distance.

A Single solitary lifestyle filled with various random hobbies and responsibilities to avoid dealing with women and personal childhood trauma, that was Edwards life in a nutshell.

...

Well, Not the best conditions for a traveler to come into a DC universe under.

But now this life is already in progress, and has been inherited by me, so I'll Make do with it.

My Past life seems like a harsh morphine dream on a hospital bed and This life seems to be extremely problematic as well.

A job, a lower c level meta-human hero identity, and new ocular power and memories of two Lives blend into whatever I have become now.

Picking up the picture frames in the bed room, it was all Photos of 'Edwards' extracurricular activities.

This shows edward had a Social life and Shows he is personable despite the affliction.

if not for the phobia he might have been a real popular guy with ladies. 

I mean, his abnormal high face value was enough for women to commit crimes over.

...

all of the photos with girls in them, the females are positioned on the outside of the photos, away from Edward, I mean me.

No, too much time was spent on these activities. .

I'm quitting these cumbersome things directly. 

"I'll tell my extreme sports club that I'm starting a business or something." I thought as I placed the last photo down.

I need to focus all my attention on the justice league, and how to keep up appearances for now, as I don't need the martian man hunter, my former counselor in the league to have a reason to probe my head full of secrets anymore.

I'll wait for something big to happen and retire in the background with ptsd or something, it will seem naturally given my past medical condition in their files on me.

Until then I'm playing the background as much as I can, like Mario 3.

I have decent job and a paid for home with my parent slush fund money that my butler stashed away when the debt collectors came. 

 the butler who posed as a good guy in front of the world, was actually the grey life handler of my parents 'darker' affairs.

When debt collectors came knocking, we had assets in form of jewelry, paintings and some banknotes hidden abroad.

as well as properties under different family member names, who's will and testament gave it to my parents and it passed on to me.

Financially even if I don't work another day I'm set, not on the Bruce Wayne level, but comfortable enough.

but that cash is a nest egg used to pay the two loyal staff members and the rest for a rainy day.

I work for spending cash.

I don't need a 'secret career' that will further endanger my life more than the previous Edwards life.

who do heroes fight? 

Of course it's villains and...villainesses!

Villainesses of all kinds cross paths with the justice league.

When the worst of them are defeated, they need escorts to accompany policeman to imprison them.

It's one of my support team duties to help escort and prevent high profile criminal escapes.

My other jobs were Debris removal to clear the streets with my telekinetic power.

Also to help search for survivors in after battle created rubble and pull out the trapped people inside collapsed buildings with my telekinesis.

As for going forward with the gynophobia of the past, its gone or fading away. 

It was a physiological issue my 4th wall self didn't have.

I have the memories of the incident, all of it, from start to rescue.

but it's like watching a messy movie to me. 

as I identify it as myself from the images I'm seeing, but if I don't emerse myself in it, I can endure the uneasiness like any other onlooker.

it's a strange feeling, 

As that traumatic scenario was playing in my mind, it's exactly what I am afraid of happening to me in the future.

now adding the charm stigma of the pentagon eyes to a inherited unreasonable handsome face going by golden ratio beauty standard of measured metrics, 

I might have to face a far worst-case scenarios and from multiple crazy women that Edward faced.

But the silver linings is I have DC insights and awakened powers to defend myself, unlike my former bodies Edward did at that time.

As for Edwards parents, truly i'm sad, but to be a little cruel, they weren't my parents. 

It's like I'm keeping much of Edwards past life at an arms length away. 

Maybe it's for the best, or I might also suffer from his previous afflictions like nightmare terrors of that night, gynophobia, and social distancing.

***

I got Dressed and prepared for my Job at a pharmaceutical company subdivision here in Gotham.

I thought everything was fine.

but after some research on my smartphone about the company, I found I may be working for a troublesome person.

Nevertheless it is a good thing she's in the Washington DC main office, not Gotham.

I grab my contacts I asked for last night from my butler and put them on my eyes. 

Perfect fit.

Even though the normal people of the outside world seemingly can't see my tattoo insignia in my eyes, and I can live without having sparked questions about what's wrong with my eyes,

but I still need to conceal them as I might be clueless and incite people in passing them by on the street as bad girls can be everywhere.

Also I'm not sure if magic beings are able to see the pentagon insignia, even though normal people can't seem to see it, I don't want to risk It.

Thus my eyes can be sealed by obstructions like contacts and dark tinted shades.

under the protection of the contacts and my shades combo I go out confidently to greet the world, as the new Edward 'Ed, eddy,' Grant.

***

Arkham asylum 

An inmate stealthily approaches another inmate and bump shoulders in passing and suddenly screams: 

"GET YOUR HAND OUT MY POCKET, FUCKER!"

And then he lifts the nearby chair throwing it at the shocked inmate and the group of guys playing cards behind him.

Suddenly, all out mayhem breaks out.

A guard who is slow to move nods his head slightly towards the darkness and at the recording wall camera that seconds later had stopped in place, obviously turned off.

As chaos ensues a clear voice comes out of the shadows addressing the person inside a special prison cell saying:

"We have organized a prison breakout riot for you in the past on a grander scale, but you stayed in your cell at that time, why?" asked the figure in the shadows.

After a moment of silence...a reply was heard.

"I've told you all, and any one else who ever came for me, no more, I'm not leaving here." a mature woman with green eyes, and jet black hair said without looking at the direction of the suddenly arrival of the female voice visitor as if she expected it.

She still continued her writing into a hand written manuscript unperturbed. 

The manuscript is one of many that decorate the ward.

A brown skin bald female steps more completely out of the shadows and address the jailed female.

"Kit, your a rare commodity, as not many people can claim to be dragon's student, taught league tactic by tutors and be a pupil of lady shi- 

*SLAM!* a fist hit the cell wall, cracking it.

-DON'T!

"-Don't, say her name infront of me!" said kit with fierce expression.

"Kit, do still blame her for the incident, she just wanted to save you, and didn't know how the water would effect- 

"STOP, stop onyx." Taking a deep breath kit calmed down.

"You came for me knowing what my answer would be, your mission is finished, you should go before the camera turns back on." said kit while picking up her pen.

Onyx stops mid step when she was about to leave and asks the question in her in heart:

"What's falling in love like, I mean at beginning, before it went bad for you."

The woman called 'kit' pen stops, and after some time, the woman called kit says:

" Love, for me...it makes you feel like your the strongest being on the highest mountain top you climbed your self, filled with endless satisfaction, but that feeling can't be compare to being with the one you love to share it with."

Onyx only frowns not understanding the analogy.

Looking at onyx's confused face, she continued with a soft voice:

"It can't be explained by reason, but the other feeling is simultaneously feeling ecstatic, but extremely vulnerable beyond belief, a singular critical word can send you to hell or natural smile from the heart can send you to Heaven, you smiles and crys are held hostage in their hands, but you love it." she said while hugging her self.

Onyx still didn't find the answer to her issue and just said:

"As former colleagues I will tell you about "your love."

The woman seemingly nick named 'kit' by onyx movements froze completely in place and looked up at onyx in anticipation.

"He has graduated, he has a job, no friends, only random club associates, as well as the maid and butler combo you didn't kill."

Onyx frowned for some reason feeling uncomfortable with the slight smile emerging on kit's face, but continues.

" He's suffering from night terrors, and can't get close to woman, even slightly after all these years and your da -

Onyx stops her explanation in shock at "Kit's" reactions to her words describing a miserable life of her "lover".

Two tears fall down her face, sliding over her maniacal blooming smile, that she can't seem to hold back from her heart, showcasing the very reason she was incarcerated here in Arkham, she's emotionally unstable to the extreme.

Not knowing why, onyx words only became harsher:

"He won't come here, ever!"

"Especially, after what you did to him, 'kitty', you took everything dear from him, you performed a genocide on his family tree!"

"Wake up, kit, he sees you as a monster who devoured his peace of mind forever, don't expect sympathy, you are his devil in his soul! 

Feeling her words were to harsh onyx said more softly:

"You know this in your heart, this penance is useless to people like us."

"kit, you are killer from your bones, blood, skin and everything that makes you a truly great pugilist I respect."

"Come with me and join us, the boss lady has gone independent and plans big things in the near future in Gotham."

"Your obsessing with this broken pretty boy will not bring any blessings to him, only more heavy 'Burdens' -

" "They" are Not a "burden", don't say that again or I will kill you, and the ones who sent you, regardless of who her father is." an ice cold voice came from out of her, the now neutral face 'kit'.

Her remarks made onyx feel the real threat of death if she continued to sow discord to complete her mission.

the inmate 'kit' suddenly stops her intimidating aura with a dazed expression.

While gripping her head in pain, she then takes out a bundle of pills, and swallows them under onyx's shocked eyes.

"You should go." she said like it was a life and death decree, at least it was in onyx's ears, as she felt her body and instincts were telling her to take flight immediately in the opposite direction of this mentally unsteady woman.

Onyx nods slowly and mechanically, as if receiving amnesty, and wordlessly blends back into the shadows and leaves quickly.

The woman addressed as "kit" or "kitty", pulls out a old hand drawn picture of a extremely handsome youth and then pulls out a black plastic film with two white impression compositions on it.

She places a deep and long kiss on the faded hand drawing picture, and then another more reserved kiss on the thin black plastic film with white images on it and then whimpered:

"Someday~"

End-

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*a Mixed plot bag, alternate DC universe setting*)

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The novel projects on here will be updated IRREGULARLY, I repeat IRREGULARLY. 

-you have been warned.

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