Chapter 8

"Don't tell me you believe that there is a God?" Tesla frowns irritably at his twin brother. "There is no God, Hawk. Only gullible and illogical people will believe that!"

"Hey, who's gullible and illogical!" Copper snarls. He lifts his hand and points a finger at Tesla. "You better watch your mouth, Tesla."

Tesla rolls his eyes.

"Thousands of years ago most people may find it too hard to believe that it is possible for a massive object as heavy as rocks to fly in the air and float on water." Hawk throws a solemn look at his older twin brother. "You know what, Tesla? If you're going to go back in time and claim to those ancient people that it is possible to speak with someone from a distant land, say, half a globe away, they're more likely to laugh at you and judge you as barking mad."

"Unless I have the phone with me that I can gladly show to support my claim." Tesla's lips curve into a smug grin. He already foresees what is on Hawk's mind and he is right. "I can give those ignorant people testable and observable proofs. I can do it. You know I can, Hawk. Like I always say, I'm a boy of fact, reason, and logic! I'm always into evidences not silly false claims." He stares spitefully at Newton and Copper, smirking as he does.

"But what if you don't?" A pause. "What if you do not have the cellphone with you?"

"Huh?" Tesla stares back at Hawk, blinking. "Well, then I guess-I guess the joke will be on me."

"But let's just say that you are really telling the truth just because, Tesla. But they might keep pointing out how ridiculous and illogical your claim is. They may assume that talking to another person from a distant using a sophisticated device is humanly impossible. Are they correct?"

"No, of course not!"

"See? They see your claim as illogical because you can't provide convincing evidence to them. That is an appeal to self-incredulity in their part." Hawk glances at Copper and Newton. "On the other hand, just because Copper and Newton are yet to give you evidence to support their claim does not automatically mean that their claim is already false. Doesn't mean that they are wrong and you are right. That is an appeal to ignorance in your part."

"Appeal to ignorance?"

"Yes, Tesla. Appeal to ignorance. You must know that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Just because someone can't show any evidence to support his or her claim doesn't mean the claim itself is false. We need to be more open-minded, Tesla. We must entertain every possibilities. What if their claim is, in fact, true? And the evidences that could have supported it are just harder to find?"

"Yeah. Sure. Fair enough. But, Hawk, absence of evidence not being an evidence of absence is not an evidence of existence or presence either. Am I right?"

"Yes, that is correct." Hawk nods. "You see, the existence of God is unfalsifiable to begin with. Honestly, it's really just a waste of time arguing about it. Both sides of the fence are bound to commit cessful of fallacies. Neither can prove nor disprove their claims."

Tesla glowers at Hawk.

"I beg to disagree! I'm not claiming anything. The burden of proof is on the one claiming. It's them." Tesla points an accusing finger at Copper and Newton, who mutually glances at each other, seemingly embarassed.

"I know. But you are also making a claim, right?" Hawk asks.

"What? I- "

"You are claiming that there is no God or gods."

"Well...yeah. I guess I am. So what? I'm not obligue to prove it, am I?" Tesla sees the way his twin brother is looking at him. A flush creeps up his face. "You've got to be freaking kidding me. No way!"

"A negative claim is still a claim, Tesla. The burden of proof is also on you."

"Sure! Shifting the burden of proof now! Excellent! Now I have to prove that God is not real. Oh, great! Just what I need. Really!" Tesla laughs at his own statement, but there is no humour in his laugh. He shakes his head. "Oh well, I cannot simply do that, Hawk. In fact, I cannot prove that there is no God. And I cannot prove that there is no golden unicorn and a blue fairy living at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean either. Too bad!"

"You're right, Tesla. Too bad." Hawk face remains fixed. There is a dark tone in his voice that Tesla can't fathom. "You can't prove it. Unless you are all-present and can search every places, nooks and crannies in the whole universe to find them."

"But God is invisible, Hawk. I mean, we can't really see Him because He is a spirit. No flesh and bones," Newton explains in a soft and amiable tone of voice.

"Perhaps He is, Newton," Hawk considers, looking at Newton. "Perhaps He is."

"Yeah. Right. Just like the Invisible Pink Unicorn and the Cosmic Teapot that orbits around the gas planet Jupiter!" Tesla scoffs indignantly, glaring at Newton. "Sure. Invisible. How convenient to support your claim, right, Newton?"

"Maybe it really is." Hawk touches his chin, his face still grave as ever.

Tesla shifts his gaze at Hawk.

"So what do you want me to do, Hawk? You want me to just believe them? You want me to just believe anything they say? Anything? Without evidences? Really?"

"No, of course not, Tesla. I just want you to be more open-minded and not to make a sweeping statement and conclusion so quickly."

"I'm sorry, Hawk. But I'm not too open-minded and as tolerable as you are." Tesla smiles bitterly. "I knew it. You want me to suspend my judgment just like you always does. But I'm different, Hawk. I'm not you. I don't tolerate ridiculous and stupid beliefs. I won't even entertain those craps in my head."

"So your mind is already closed, right? You won't even consider a simple idea that might deeply oppose yours?" Hawk asks in an accusing tone of voice which is so unlike him. "Therefore, you are as dogmatic and intolerant as those priests and clergymen you hated most. You also has faith and you don't even know it."

"Short-term memory, Hawk? Faith is believing something without evidence." Tesla scoffs. "Jeez, you know that."

"The same faith that can be applied to your militant atheism, Tesla."

"Atheism is not a belief, Hawk. It is a disbelief."

"To a gnostic atheist like you, it is. It will always be." Hawk looks at Tesla scrutinizingly. "Saying that there is no God but can't also provide evidence to prove that there is no God. Really? You really expect us to just believe your disbelief?"

"I will repeat, Hawk. There is no God. Never is. Never was." Tesla sees again the reproachful look Hawk is giving him. A vein in his neck pops out. "Then don't believe me! I'm not forcing you to believe me, but it's your loss because you chose to spend the rest of your life believing in sugar-coated lies."

"Oh, wait! My contradiction radar is tingling." Hawk boxes his ears up and down, and grins at Tesla in a mocking and yet playful manner that only twins as themselves can fathom and share with. "See it?"

Tesla grits his jaw, his left hand balling into fist. He glares at Hawk as if his twin brother is nothing but a tiny insect- a dangerous tiny insect that must be squashed quickly. He strongly resists the urge to punch Hawk straight in the face. Make Hawk eat his own teeth. Tesla knows he can get away with that. And why the hell not? He knows Hawk very well. His twin brother will never punch back. If they are about to step in a boxing ring right now and do a boxing match, Tesla will surely knocks Hawk out. How? Well, because Hawk would have been too nice to throw the first punch! That's why. Hawk won't even hurt a fly. Speaking of a pacifist on its extremity. Hawk is somehow pathetic!

But then again, it is just a wishful thinking in Tesla's part. Punching Hawk is never an impossiblity, yes, but that will be a very hard task to accomplish, especially if Hawk is already anticipating the blow. His younger twin brother has a better reflexes than him. Hawk can easily evade his attack. Tesla will just end up like a desperate loser. And he will die before that happens. To quote Mark Twain: Violence is the last resort of the one who can't win an argument. And he is not a loser.

"Yeah. Right. Very well. Just don't force me to believe them, Hawk. I'm not gullible and irrational like theists."

"You're over-generalizing things again, Tesla." Hawk crosses his arms. "And stereotyping too. Can you hear yourself?"

Tesla merely shrugs.

"But it's true. Theists are illogical and irrational, Hawk. They prefer sinking on their knees to pray to their imaginary gods. They rather believe in Bronze-aged myths and superstitions than the facts of science."

"Just because they believe something different from yours doesn't make you any smarter than them, Tesla. Some of them are also science geeks. I believe most famous scientists who ever walk the earth were theists."

"Yeah? Name one."

Hawk smiles.

"Albert Einstein. Nicholas Copernicus. Sir Isaac Newton. Galileo Galilei. Louis Pasteur. George Lemaitre, the Belgian priest who proposed the idea of an expanding universe. Sir Fred Hoyle who coined the term Big Bang. Albus Mendel, the Father of Modern Genetics. Thomas Edison. Nichola Tesla, the smartest person in the world according to Albert Einstein himself. You should know that, Tesla."

"I thought you said Einstein was a deist?"

"Yes, he was. Deism is just a subset of theism. All deists are theists. Just different versions and interpretations of god."

"Sure." Tesla rolls his eyes.

"Regardless, like what I have said, those scientists I mentioned were all theist. And I don't think they were illogical and irrational just because they happened to believed in their version of gods. Their contributions to the advancement of science and technologies are immense. See? I just disproved your generalization claim." Hawk thinly smiles. The clouds of melancholy on his twin brother's face were all too obvious. He pats him gently on the shoulder. "Theism is just a belief, Tesla. What really matters is the behaviour. For me, theists are good people."

"Sure."

"But, yes, there really are illogical and irrational theists too. The same way that there are also illogical and irrational atheists. There are bad believers as well as good non-believers. The trick here is to not generalized."

"So who will decide which one is illogical or not? Or which one is right?" Tesla gives Hawk a cynical look. "You?"

"Us, of course, silly. And that's too philosophical. But like I said, regardless of what you believe in, it's your behaviour that matters. It's what really defines you as a person. Not your beliefs. Not the labels. You may see yourself as a genius but to someone you're an asshole and a jerk for being intolerant to their beliefs."

"Well, that's an eventuality and I'm fully aware of that," Tesla admits passively.

"Just don't go too far, Tesla. You know what I mean."

"Yeah. Whatever, Hawk. Just don't force me to believe them."

"No one is forcing you to believe, silly," Copper suddenly asserts. "And as to my hypothesis earlier, I'm not forcing you to believe it. But regardless, it is plausible just like what Hawk said. And I don't even care what you think."

"Sure, " Tesla retorts, boring his gaze at Copper. His lips curves into a grin when a potentially funny idea strikes his mind. He gently darts his point finger straight inside one of his nostril, and digs on it. When he pulls his finger out a green limey substance is sticking on its tip. Tesla then bellows, "Behold, my beloved brothers, friends and neighbors! There is an infinite universes in this booger. A meta-verse! Amazing, isn't it?"

"Gross!" Copper's mouth forms an O shape.

Tesla sucks his finger.

"Uck!" Copper and Newton exclaim in unison, horrified.

"And now I just ate those universes. I am the eater of the worlds," Tesla proclaims, patting his belly and licking his lower lip. "Yummy!"

"Disgusting!" Newton wrinkles his nose.

"Stop being reDUMBculous, Tesla!" Copper grimaces. "Grow up!"

"That was my middle finger, you fools," Tesla blurts, cackling.

"Sure." Copper arches an eyebrow. "You just picked your nose and ate your booger. Disgusting!"

"Did I eat it? Then what do you call this?" Tesla holds out his point finger. "The booger's still there. See?" A wide grin curves his lips. He stares at Copper, eyes glinting. "And now it's your turn to eat this."

Tesla rises from the sofa and tries to poke Copper's cheek with his dirty finger. But Copper sees it coming and rans away just in time. Tesla chases him while shouting "Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!" at the top of his lungs.

Hawk and Newton laughs.

Outside the Catacutan Mansion, the Mechanical Sphinx suddenly let out a loud roar shortly follow by the sound of sliding metals.

"Hey, knock it off! Get away from me, you rascal!"

They are now circling around the large mahogany table.

"Come here, Pizzaface. Take your medicine," Tesla shouts back, finger still raised and pointed at Copper like an absurd gun. "You need this!"

"No! Just quit it! Stop!"

Copper quickly takes off his lab coat, stretches it, and slaps Tesla using it.

"Ouch! Ouch! Ohh! It hurts! Hey!" Tesla gasps in a rather female-like voice. He abruptly stops running, quickly probes his left arm, and grimaces when he discovered a scratch the size of a nail on his elbow which is now gashing tiny beads of blood. A flush creeps up his face. He lifts his chin and glowers at Copper.

"Y-You hurted me! Y-You stupid bastard!"

"There, there. You want more?" Copper taunts, grinning half-heartedly.

"If I get my hands on you!"

"You had it coming, anyway." Copper shrugs. "That's your fault. Blame yourself."

"It's your fault, twerp! It will always be your fault! Ask Hawk, why don't you? Come on, ask him!"

Copper shifts his gaze at Hawk, eyes furrowed.

"Hawk, you know it's not my-"

Tesla lunges forward.

Copper tries to hit Tesla again with his coat but Tesla, already anticipating the blow, manages to evade it, ultimately smudging Copper's cheek with his dirty finger.

"You filthy retard!" Copper swings his fist to punch Tesla but the latter manages to duck away just in the nick of time. "Gross!" Copper savagely wipes his cheek using his coat. "Gross! Gross!"

Tesla, on the other hand, is already standing by the front door in a safe distance, cackling widely, hands clasping his belly.

"How'd you like your medicine, Copper?"

"Shut up!"

"Stop wiping my booger away, idiot. You're destroying those planets and galaxies inside it!"

"Why don't you throw yourself over the cliff and kill yourself, you retard! Jump over a fire!"

"No, you'll miss me!"

Copper bares his teeth, crumples his coat into ball, and throws it at Tesla.

Tesla quickly dives away from it, hooting with laughter as he goes sprawling on the carpeted floor.

The front door suddenly slides open, and before they all knew it, the magnificent flying coat drops upon the head of a tall figure dressed in black, covering her entire face.

The black lady screams.

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