Chapter 19

Aside from the sound of a running air conditioner, only the shift of the bed sheet can be vaguely heard occasionally. Outside, the sky is clear of clouds, and the sun is scorching the earth so, so brightly, enough to blind someone who has sensitive eyes. The hot wind breezing barely gives comfort, if not add more to the heat. There is no need to say the combination of all is enough to keep someone indoors as long as possible.

In short, Summer has officially come to grill everyone alive.

Eiharu had just eaten up his third popsicle in the last couple of hours, huffing uncomfortably thanks to how hot his tongue had become after eating that much ice in such a short span. His attention is on his phone screen as he lies in the comfort of his bed, fingers replying to the texts he has been receiving faster than usual.

[At least you won’t catch heatstroke if you stay indoors,] Kanryou replies to his last message, [still, it’s better if you keep the air circulation flow. Open your window once in a while.]

[It’s too hot]

[How about at night?]

[Too cold]

[Well…]

The sticker Kanryou sent, showing his complicated expression, makes Eiharu involuntarily smile a bit. He replies with another sticker, acting nonchalant despite his expression being completely the opposite. Eiharu turns around as he feels his body is slightly sore on one side. His leg kicks away the rumpled blanket despite the coldness.

[It’s hot, but my hands and feet are cold.]

[Maybe because you set the air conditioner too low. Eiharu-san, please watch the room temperature properly.]

[Well… I’m trying.]

[Are you? Really?]

[No.]

Another sticker, and Eiharu smiles wider. It’s strange how happy he feels from short texts despite nothing substantial being talked about. So far, he only enjoys texting Hakaru, but it all started because Hakaru simply was a nosybody who never stopped bothering him even when he didn’t reply. This is his first time initiating a meaningless conversation on his own.

[Are you still on break?]

[Mm, I’m having lunch right now. What about you?]

[I’m not hungry.] Eiharu glances at the clock. It’s already past three in the afternoon, but Kanryou only has his lunch now. He seems busy yet still replying to Eiharu’s texts. [You have a really late lunch.]

[I just have time now. I’m grateful I can still have lunch today.]

[If you’re that busy, you don’t have to reply to me.]

[Let’s say I want to make it up.]

[At what?]

[At me fell asleep last night when we were in the middle of texting.]

Eiharu’s fingers stop moving around. He rereads the last line a few times, and finds his chest pound a bit too hard. When was the last time he felt that way?

[Are you feeling responsible?]

The three dots appear and disappear a few times, long enough for Eiharu to feel restless about what kind of long-ass message Kanryou is typing. But when the new message appears, it’s still the same single line as Kanryou sent before,

[Maybe I am. But there is something else as well.]

[What’s that?]

For a minute, Eiharu’s last message was left unread. Either Kanryou suddenly had something coming up, or he was focusing on his meal; Eiharu didn’t know. Whichever the reason, it doesn’t really matter. Eiharu takes that chance to get up from the bed and come to the kitchen while bringing his trash. In the fridge, ready-to-serve meals are filling the shelves. Eiharu’s good mood while texting Kanryou gives him energy to work more than usual. He grabs a box, reheates the meal in the microwave, and returns to his room. At the same time he closed the door, his phone screen lit up from a pop-up. Kanryou replies to his message,

[I feel bad because I love talking to you, yet my body still demands a rest.]

Eiharu choked on his food.

-Love, he said. Well, his entire sentence was 'love talking to me,' but still…-

Eiharu feels his cheeks heating up. He clears his throat a few times to control his own feelings.

[You said it yourself. Rest is essential.]

[It’s been a while since I was up late texting someone. I got excited.]

Eiharu is unsure of what to say, so he only sends a random sticker, whatever he thinks fits the situation, without being evident of his own bewilderment. Eiharu was still thinking of what to say when another message came,

[Sorry if I make you uncomfortable.]

Now, Eiharu ponders if he should answer honestly or not.

[It’s okay. I’m just… unsure of what to say.]

And he did in the end.

There was another silence, and Eiharu involuntarily focused on eating his late meal. A few minutes later, Kanryou’s new replies popped up.

[I saw your mother just now.]

[Naturally. It’s her working hour.]

[I don’t see her that often, actually.]

[Yet she spoke as if she saw you every day.]

A laughing sticker before another line, [what did she say?]

[High-praising you, more or less.]

[I’m flattered but also embarrassed. But I also want to know what she told you.]

Eiharu ponders while munching a big chunk of chicken. He doesn’t lie about Haruna high-praising Kanryou whenever possible or how she seemingly has something new to tell him despite Eiharu never asking her about it. She acts like a stalker; Eiharu is unwilling to admit how the overflowing information about what Kanryou did in the hospital makes him uncomfortable. It’s nice to know more about Kanryou, but since he does it one-sidedly, he feels like a stalker himself.

[That you’re the best at work?]

[I’m not. Others are more experienced than I am.]

[That’s what she said, not me. I’m just relaying.]

[Okay, okay. What else?]

[You’re kind towards anyone, be it with your patients or people in a lower position than you.]

[We’re all humans, after all.]

[You’re easy to talk to.]

[People often say I’m friendly. I guess I am.]

[You’re good-looking.]

A surprised sticker.

[Why are you surprised?]

[I thought her comments only revolved around work stuff.]

[you don’t think you’re good-looking?]

[I’m taking good care of my appearance, that’s true.]

[It’s nice to feel confident about how you look.]

Eiharu feels like his last comment sounds inappropriate, so he immediately sends another text,

[Since she seems to follow you closely, I thought you two met daily.]

[If we happened to bypass each other somewhere, I naturally greet her. But we don’t always have the time to talk, actually.]

[Not even a brief chit-chat?]

[Brief chit-chat, like simple ‘how are you today?’ or ‘You look good/tired/upset/etc.’, I guess we did. But I don’t think it’s enough to say we talk daily.]

Somehow, Eiharu can imagine how Haruna would find excuses to greet Kanryou and make it naturally a coincidence. Since they rarely have anything to talk about at home, Kanryou’s daily appearance becomes her hot topic. There is always something about him that Haruna relayed, even if she had already told Eiharu a similar story. And Eiharu, being a good listener as well thinks cutting her words is troublesome, just listens to her repeating stories.

[For her, it’s more than enough.] Eiharu typed more but decided to erase the following sentence and send that alone.

[Did she tell you things about me at home? You two sound close.]

[No at all. We’re not on good terms.]

[Oh? How so?]

Eiharu finished his meal and leaned back on his chair. Since they started their casual chat, Eiharu has been more open than the first day. He willingly talks more about his personal life and replies with longer text, longer than three words, like he used to. He answers Kanryou’s question about his life and asks Kanryou the same thing despite being much more reserved. His relationship with Haruna isn’t a secret, so he has no reason to keep it to himself. Besides, with Kanryou as Haruna’s coworker, there is a big chance that Haruna’s exaggerated stories would influence Kanryou’s view of him.

[To put it simply… we don’t see eye to eye when it comes to… communication…] Eiharu sends the text, and Kanryou reads it immediately. But Kanryou says nothing as if waiting for Eiharu to elaborate properly, so Eiharu continues in a few separate texts,

[You know how mothers tend to think that… their children know nothing? She’s like that. She thinks I’m stupid since I never leave the house.

[When I tried to talk, she would do anything to retort.

[Whatever I say, she would always find my fault in it.

[Like saying ‘it’s because you’re blablabla’, or ‘you should blablabla’, something else along the lines.

[If I disagree with her words, she would think I’m rude. If I keep silent, I’m being ignorant. There’s no end of my faults in her eyes.

[And then I stop responding altogether. Either give her a disapproving look or silently agree to whatever she spouted.

[I don’t care much about how she interprets my expressions.]

Kanryou doesn’t respond immediately, probably giving a chance if Eiharu wants to speak more. Since Eiharu doesn’t type anything else, he replies,

[Since you’re aware of the problem, does it occur to you to visit a consultant? As a doctor, I think you two need a third party. I suggest a professional help.]

[Nah, she wouldn’t. She doesn’t think there is a problem with our communication.]

[Are you sure she doesn’t see the problem?]

Eiharu hesitates. Haruna probably knows there is a problem, but her view about such a thing is rather old-fashioned. Seeking professional help means they are somewhat crazy. That’s what Haruna doesn’t want to accept.

[Maybe she does, just…You know the stereotype? Seeking help means you’re crazy.]

[Honestly, she doesn’t strike me as that kind of person. But you know her better, so I believe you. If professional help is not an option for now, how about you two try to do it yourselves?]

[I just told you it didn’t help.]

[Eiharu-san, have you two ever gone on a meal together?]

[At home? Of course we still do even if I don’t want to.]

[No, I don’t mean at home. Do you ever go somewhere together? For a meal or window shopping? Probably just stroll around visiting the nearest park?]

[No? I don’t like going out too often, and I think she would be annoying if we did. I can imagine her comments about things.]

[You don’t even go; how do you know she would act annoying?]

[If she can’t hold back her tongue at home, surely she won’t outside.]

[What if she doesn’t?]

[What?]

[What if she doesn’t act annoying? What if she doesn’t comment on things? What if she enjoys the outing?]

Eiharu frowns. He rereads the texts a few times to make sure. He can guess what Kanryou is trying to say, but his brain is just screaming no.

[Judging from my experience conversing with her, it’s most likely happening.]

[Mothers are naggy, it’s true. Their ways of showing concern often clash with our views as their child.]

[And?]

[I mean to say… Seishichi-san is probably too naggy to your liking, but she loves you anyway. So, despite everything, she would love to do something with you. Either just strolling around, window shopping, or having a light meal. That’s what I think.]

[But… the chance of her acting out is…]

[Yes, I wouldn’t say it will never happen. However, you can’t blame your sour relationship on her alone. You also need to make an effort. When was the last time you did it?]

Eiharu takes too long to be silent, so Kanryou sends more texts,

[Your experience makes you paranoid, Eiharu-san. The thing is, our feelings changed. We matured. We grow up. We probably aren’t the same person as we were yesterday.

[Seishichi-san wants to fix her relationship with you, just not how you wanted it to be. How about giving her a chance? Spend some time with her outside; consider it a breather. You dislike going out but are still fed up staying in your bedroom for too long, right? It’s the same, you know?

[Besides, I’m sure there are moments when you two can talk normally. After all, you told me how she spoke about me to you.]

[But…]

Eiharu hesitates. He roughly understands the idea, but to be with Haruna without an escape route is tricky. He doesn’t want to fight with her when they are outside; he doesn’t have enough faith it won’t happen, so he needs something else to act as his safety net.

[I don’t know. I don’t believe it won’t turn sour.]

[Then… how about you take Hagino-san along?]

[Are you kidding?? There’s no way he would say yes.]

[Oh, on the contrary, he would be over-delighted. He likes you so much, you know?]

[Don’t say such a thing. What do you know anyway?]

[Nothing much. I only talked to him briefly, but he clearly thinks of you as his beloved child. Take this chance to get close to him as well.]

[It’s… too much for me.]

But Eiharu can’t lie; the idea parks his interest. When he recalls, he can’t remember the last time he and his mother ever left the house together. His vague memory of his childhood doesn’t hold anything related; either it was because it never happened or it wasn’t memorable. Eiharu guessed the latter.

[Let me think about it first.]

[Mm, it’s better to prepare yourself.]

[If anything…]

[You can tell me, of course. I can offer you my presence if you really need it.]

[I don’t want to disturb your busy time.]

[Do it on my day off, then.]

[I can’t say no, huh?]

[I don’t accept rejection this time, sorry.] Kanryou sends a laughing sticker following the text. [Don’t worry. I’m on your side.]

[Fine, I… maybe dinner will do. I need to save money first.]

[Alright, I’ll be waiting for the story, then.]

[Talking about dinner… my mom told me to invite you to dinner.]

[Oh? When?]

[I told her no. I mean, not without preparation.]

[I see. Tell me when you’re ready to invite me, then. I’m curious about your cooking since everyone from the nurse's office compliments your cooking so much.]

[I’ll think about it. I’ll tell you when I’ll have to deliver another lunch.]

[Thank you. Let’s continue our talk later. I have an appointment soon. See you.]

Eiharu replies with a goodbye sticker. He puts away his phone, thinking about the dinner.

-Where do I take her… Oh, Hakaru probably knows a place-