13 ELIXIR PACK: A FULL BLOWN COSMIC PRANK

"Note:Package arrived." A notification broke the silence of the space as a red packet fell before Ye Chen's body in the pond.

"Ye Chen quick, wake up your body hehehe, seems like Lady Jaya did not forget us."

"Mm-mhm, let me see what kind of pill it is..."

Ye Chen felt the pain of the injuries he had sustained after his consciousness returned.

The pain was unbearable to the core.

His cracked bones pierced through his tendons and flesh making him grit his teeth in indignation.

This was the pain he had imagined in his nightmares but things were for real this time.

Lucky the pill had arrived the moment before waking up, otherwise...

Looking at the red packet besides him, he did not hesitate to open the wraps.

Before him lay an exquisite note with a few words.

"This is a debt you shall pay later, brace yourself mortal..."

"Mm-mhm, this Lady Jaya is too strange, couldn't he just send a direct message, is she that much into note writing, aah never mind, let me heal first..." His thoughts ran loudly as he unwrapped the package.

Before him was a silver crystalline tiny pill.

'Only one and that tiny, how could this lady be that stingy...'

"Xiao what pill is this?"

An interface flickered before him with the pill's characteristics.

Name: Healing pill

Level: LV 1

Origin: Binary Dimension

Alchemist: Lady Jaya's bot ver 2.2765

Characteristics: Can heal all types of injuries for a mortal

Working: Repair destroyed organs within an hour

Disclaimer: Don't forget to give a positive review, your patronage is appreciated. Should you face the side effects, it's upon you to deal with it solely, no refund for sold products.

"Xiao, this boss of yours is really shrewd, just a small level 1 pill after all those efforts, couldn't she give a better one, despite, it's even made by a bot, not herself right, I wonder how she came up with such a lousy idea, mm I'll give a negative review hehehe..."

He did not hesitate to pop the pill as his injuries were already too hurting.

---

Ye Chen, the unsuspecting protagonist, laid there, his hopes dashed like a poorly executed magic trick. The healing pill he'd high hopes for was about as effective as a soggy cracker in a rainstorm.

"No warm sensation? No cool tingle?" Ye Chen muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, isn't this just delightful? I guess I'll just sit here and wait for my injuries to magically heal themselves, like a medieval peasant praying for a miracle."

He plopped down by the pond, the water lapping at his ankles. The cold seeped into his bones, and he wondered if he'd accidentally stumbled into the world's worst spa treatment. Forget hot stones; this was more like "icy rocks of misery."

His mind raced. Was this some cosmic joke? Had the universe decided to play a cruel prank on him? He imagined the heavens laughing uproariously, celestial beings pointing fingers and saying, "Look at Ye Chen, poor fool! Let's mess with him some more!"

Ye Chen clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white. "Lady," he shouted to the skies, "if you're listening, I've got a bone to pick with you. This is worse than a Yelp review for a one-star restaurant. I demand a refund—no, scratch that—I demand vengeance!"

His teeth chattered, and he wondered if frostbite was setting in. "You think I won't flip tables? Well, watch me!" He glanced around, but there were no tables to flip. Just a serene pond, mocking him with its tranquility.

His brain sputtered like a dying engine. "Maybe I should write a strongly worded letter," he mumbled. "Dear Healing Pill Provider, your product is garbage. Sincerely, Ye Chen, the guy freezing his butt off in a pond."

Tears welled up, and he blinked them back. "Precious tears," he whispered, "stay put. You're not escaping this face. I refuse to cry over a useless pill and a chilly pond."

And so, Ye Chen sat there, a monument to disappointment, a testament to the absurdity of life. If anyone passed by, they'd find him muttering, "Wayaya, this is too hateful," while shivering uncontrollably.

He felt happy for a while when he felt the sleepy sensation creeping to him but the hateful Lady Jaya seemed to have wanted to slap his face again and again.

A pain too painful to describe invaded his belly as he felt his intestines twist and churn as if mocking him.

Ye Chen's misery escalated from "icy rocks of misery" to "full-blown cosmic prank." The healing pill's side effects hit him like a freight train, and he wondered if Lady Jaya had secretly swapped it with a cursed jellybean.

First came the hiccups. Not cute, dainty hiccups, mind you. These were earth-shaking, furniture-rattling hiccups. Ye Chen hiccupped so violently that nearby frogs leaped into the pond, seeking refuge from the chaos.

"Is this a healing pill or a demonic hiccup generator?" he wheezed. "I swear, if I hiccup one more time, I'll—hic—"

And then it happened. His voice morphed into a high-pitched squeak, like a deflating balloon. Ye Chen stared at his trembling hands, which now resembled overcooked noodles. "What fresh hell is this?" he croaked. "Did I accidentally swallow a helium balloon?"

He tried to curse at Lady Jaya, but the words came out as a series of melodious bird calls. "Caw-caw, Lady Jaya! Caw-caw! May your shoelaces perpetually untie themselves!"

The pain intensified. Ye Chen's limbs contorted like a pretzel in a yoga class gone wrong. "I'll beat her," he muttered, or at least attempted to. His tongue felt like a soggy sock. "Next time we meet, I'll—"

But then his vision blurred, and he collapsed. The last thing he heard was Lady Jaya's voice (or maybe it was a hallucination): "Congratulations! You've just won a one-way ticket to the Nether Realm Express! Enjoy your stay!"

And with that, Ye Chen passed out, convinced that Lady Jaya had poisoned him. As darkness enveloped him, he had one final thought: "At least I won't have to pay for that useless healing pill."

And so, dear reader, remember this cautionary tale: Never trust a lady named Jaya, especially if she offers you a pill. And if you find yourself hiccuping like a deranged kangaroo, just blame it on cosmic pranks and hope for a better reincarnation next time.