Chapter 18 - Penance

I was really just curious.

Then, Yukishiro started showing signs of jealousy towards me. At first, it was just a casual act of pretending to be a fan of Rei, a popular streamer.

But as time went on, I became more and more immersed in the world of streaming and gaming, a world that I was not familiar with.

Honestly, at first, my intention was to seek Yukishiro's jealousy, but gradually, my priorities shifted. I became captivated by the streamer Rei, whom I initially used as a means to provoke Yukishiro's jealousy. I started playing the games that Rei played and made online friends through her community. Over time, Yukishiro's presence in my heart diminished, and my priorities completely reversed.

All I can say is that I was an idiot.

And then, stupid me didn't realize it and the fateful day arrived…

"…king up."

"Huh, what did you say? I couldn't hear you. Speak clearly."

"…We're breaking up."

"…Huh?"

"I'm breaking up with you! Don't mess with me."

"…Huh? Wait a minute. What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"

In hindsight, Yukishiro's anger was understandable.

It was not abrupt or sudden, it was self-inflicted.

"It's not sudden! It's your attitude! I'm fed up. You're selfish, uncute, and you don't think about your boyfriend even for a second! I can't do this anymore! I'm breaking up with you."

"Huh? Are you sure? You're breaking up with such a cute girlfriend?"

"The cuteness was only in the beginning. Ah, forget it. We're definitely breaking up."

"…Really?"

"Yes. Honestly, it was a mistake to date you. Don't ever talk to me again."

"!? Huh? Fine, it's not that big of a deal. Let's break up. That way, I can devote my time to Rei-kun."

"Well, go ahead and do as you please. Goodbye."

Thinking about it now, I wonder if my fate would have been different if I had pursued him at that time.

But I know it's pointless.

And it wasn't long after we broke up that I realized.

All of a sudden, I was checking the notification from my cell phone.

He stopped contacting me altogether. I was stubborn and thought it was okay at first, but once I started worrying about it, I couldn't calm down and before I knew it, I started going through past photos.

All of them looked fun and had me and Yukishiro laughing.

Suddenly, I cried.

And then I realized.

I was doing something terrible.

I immediately unsubscribed from Rei's channel. I cut off all ties with my net friends.

In retrospect, not only did I distance myself from Yukishiro, but I also cut myself off from my friends. Even Yukishiro, who was the last thread connecting me to others, I ended up cutting off by myself.

I didn't want to see reality.

I wrapped myself in the covers and chanted over and over again to go back in time.

I felt helpless, so I tried sending a LINE message to Yukishiro, but it never showed as read.