My Broken Heart

*vibrate*

My phone vibrated while I was playing a clash of clans.

I stop from playing and went to my date in asia account. To see who message me at this hour.

It's already pass 3 in dawn. People at this hours should be in bed already.

["Hi dear,"]

My mind read.

["Hi dear,"]

I read it again,

My whole eyes widened after reading the message. It was a anonymous message from a random foreigner.

I quickly type a short answer, just so I could say something. This isn't really my thing to install a dating app.

My sister was the one who likes to use this app, that's why all the men who chatted her pops up in my notifications.

["Hello sir,"]

I replied.

I waited for a couple of minutes for the foreigner to reply. But I was shocked when he sent a video instead of words.

At first I thought that it was a porn or nudes of him. But my feelings changed so easily, as if I have a connection to the video he sent just now.

["Is this your nudes?"] I frankly ask so he will admit it is.

["Sorry, just watch the video dear."]

He replied, and by that my heart suddenly pump so fast. I'm not yet watching the video clip, but my hands were already shaking.

["Mr. just tell me if this is a nudes. Don't play games in here, I am a busy person at this hour."]

I lied as if I was really that angry. But the truth is I was shaking and curiosity is running through my mind already.

["I am not that kind of man Ms."] ["Just watch the clip, and you'll know what it is."]

The creepiness of his words makes me wander do I really need to give attention to this man?

What if it was just a nude and he was just playing games to me.

["Whatever,"]

I replied and without any other words, I click the clip of a video. And without any internet issues, it easily played.

My day was ruined, My tears starting to build up on my eyes already.

All the memories flashes on my mind, as I was watching a cinema.

The video explains everything that I don't know for almost 5 years. Five years that me and Rob were away from each others side.

It gives my heart a hopeless feelings. How can I let all of this pass? How did I even let myself trust a man like Rob?

What hurts me more, is I found it to a random and anonymous person. A person who cared to send me this evidence of him cheating on me.

Someone that I don't even know who it was. But what he sent me makes me realize a lot of things in life.

That I was not enough for him, for the man I thought it won't cheat. A man that I once believed, true love does exist to him.

I thank this foreigner, for being a honest and best in gossips. Without him, Rob's wrong doings won't be exposed.

I will not know that he was already ruining our relationship. That he committed a sin, and it's cheating on me while I'm far from him.

After watching the video, I wiped my tears and deleted all my social media accounts. I deactivated all my soc-med connections and forget life with internet.

And the person who sent me those videos?

I blocked him and deleted the dating app that my sister used to use back when she haven't phone yet.

And since she won't be using it anymore, I have rights to delete it already. I want to forget life for now, I want to just stay in my room forever.

How dare a man like him asks my hands in front of my family. And promised that will marry me in the right time at the exact moments of our lives.

Why,

Why did I let myself be fooled by him? 4 years, 4 years of being in a strong and healthy relationship.

I thought everything was enough, that there is no more reason for him to look for something that I couldn't give him.

Was it because of being so conservative? Was it my wrong because I have beliefs of marriage before honeymoon?

"Argh!"

I shouted from the very deepest part of my lungs. My breathe almost give up because of that long and hard shouts of mine.

"Fuck this life! bullshit!"

Of all girls that could experience this kind of situation. This kind of heartbreak! why does it should be me?! why do faith chose me to experience this type of bullshit heartbreak!

I pushed all the things in my table. As all of my belongings fell on the floor, including the vase of flower.

My eyes look at the vase that fell on the floor and was now broken already.

It's a gift for him, I suppose. But after watching the video I realise how broken I was right now.

How stupid I am from believing that he will come back in my arms just like before. Just like how he does from the very beginning.

I thought I was the only girl in his life. All these years I have no worries of our relationship.

Because I thought were on a healthy and getting so strong relationship. But blindly did I know he was already cheating, was it because he was far from me?

I pick up the vase and look at it furiously.

"You are unworthy to be a gift for him. You'll be set aside of him if I let him have you. Cheater!"

I shouted, top of my lungs and threw it on the wall creating a loud noise inside my room. I don't care if my parents hears it, see me miserable and messed up!

"Fuck you! Fuck you Rob! Fuck you!!!"

I cursed and slowly my visions got darker as I expect. If I cry, I want it to be everyday. So I won't be able to see how miserable and broken I was.

4 years.... and I never know my heart was already broken... I was blind... He blinded me with his false love and effortless words.

Rob---- why??