16 A Familiar Voice

Now that Kana left, I was left alone, sitting on the chair as I watched the busy staff move around. I was about to leave and go back to Ruby and Miyako, but, before I could launch myself out of the chair, I got interrupted by a voice.

"Hi" The voice said "I saw you try to cheer up your friend just now, and I think you did such a nice thing."

That voice, it's familiar to me, that melodic quality, which is gentle yet vibrant, like a soft summer breeze. Even though the voice was slightly different from how I remembered it—perhaps with a touch of maturity and wisdom—it still held the essence of the person I had held dear to my heart.

It was the voice of my little sister, Ellie.

I quickly glanced back to confirm my suspicions, and as I laid my eyes on the individual, I was proven correct. It was Ellie, unmistakable with her adorable twin tails, charming delicate visage, and petite stature.

A rush of emotions overwhelmed me, causing my mask to break and my face scrunched up involuntarily. The intensity of the moment was too much to handle now that I had come face to face with her.

I wasn't planning to interact with her at all in this film, I only asked for her to be cast alongside me to the director for two reasons. First, I want her to get successful in the acting industry. Because no matter how much fans and money she makes from being an idol, she will have to retire by the age of 30, and I want her to continue her livelihood through acting. So this could be her chance.

Second, I just want to see how she's doing. I wasn't even able to contact her in my dying moments, and I'm sure she must be worried sick about me not contacting her for a long time. I want to see if she is doing okay. Did she learn I died? And if she did, did she move on?

"Are you okay?" Ellie broke me out of my thoughts, and I realized I didn't respond to her at all yet.

"I'm fine!" I exclaimed with a beaming smile, my eyes twinkling with curiosity. "I was just thinking about who you are because you seem so familiar." I playfully scratched my chin, tilting my head to the side in adorable wonder.

"I see, that's great," she said, her voice filled with warmth, a gentle smile gracing her lips. "And... Did you manage to figure out who I am?" she inquired, her head slightly tilted to the side. Lost in thought, her finger delicately rested on her cheek, as if tracing the path of her pondering.

"Ya! You're Ellie from B-Komachi, right? Wow, I almost didn't recognize you because your stage and real life persona are seriously different!" I said, my eyes widening in surprise as a big smile spread across my face.

Knowing Ellie, I thought she would react with embarrassment or maybe even a smile when I asked my question. But what caught me off guard was the way her eyes lost their sparkle, leaving behind a lifeless gaze and a face devoid of any emotion.

But her eyes that were once dull and lifeless quickly regained that sparkle and her face became full of emotion again instantly, almost as if she was too used to regaining that sparkle back.

That dull look, it's something I was familiar with, it was the eyes I saw everyday as Noah Anderson when I was still in the orphanage, before I even started acting, it was the eyes of someone who lost their will to live.

But, how can Ellie have those eyes? The constant rejection, the death of my parents, the isolation from no one liking me, they were all factors that contributed to those eyes. I suffered a lot to achieve those, does that mean Ellie experienced something similar?

I don't know, I'm not even sure if I saw it correctly. Maybe it was just my imagination.

"I get that comment a lot." Ellie said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Are you disappointed?"

I was about to respond, but I wasn't able to as a shout interrupted me before I could speak.

"Oh my gosh! It's Ellie! I'm a big fan!" Ruby familiar voice shouted, which turned Ellie's and I gaze toward her.

Arriving in front of us, she grabbed something from her pocket and brought it out "Can you please sign this!" She shouted as she held out a small notebook in front of her "I'm a big fan of your idol activities. You're so cool!" She shouted as she energetically jumped up and down.

I took a quick glance at Ellie and saw those lifeless eyes again for a moment before they disappeared. If I continued to delude myself any further, that would just be pathetic. Ellie really has those eyes.

Ellie, just what did you go through?

"Of course I can." Ellie said with a warm smile "It's the least I can do for my fan." She said as she grabbed the notebook from Ruby's hand and started to sign it "What do you want me to write?" She asked with a curious gaze.

"Um, can you write to my fan, Ruby with a heart in it?" Ruby asked bashfully as she fidgeted with her fingers as she looked down. Though she instantly switched her gaze to me, looking at me with a cautious expression.

The reason for her cautious gaze is because this behavior is unusual for Ruby, and my persona would have teased her for it. But, my mind is too pre-occupied by Ellie's gaze that I can't be bothered to say anything.

"Rubes is acting shy! Oh my gosh. Is it the end of the world?" I made a fake shocked expression as Ruby sighed at my teasing once again, too used to it now to bother arguing against me.

As the familiar words flow out of my lips, I can't help but think once again about my mask and how it warped me so much that I responded naturally to Ruby as my persona even though I didn't plan to say anything.

I guess it's a given, after all....

I'm a liar.

Before I even think, I already say what my persona would at the time. I don't even know what's true and what's a lie anymore.

I would have contemplated further but I wasn't able to Ellie started to speak "You guys seem close." She told the two of us "Do you know this person Ruby?" She asked Ruby who was still pouting at being teased.

"Yes!" She huffed as she crossed her arms "He's Aikara, my big brother."

"Really now?" Ellie said with a small smile as she adopted a curious expression "You guys seem the same age. Are you guys twins?" She asked.

Ruby shook her head "Nope. We're triplets. I have another big brother who's name is Aqua."

Ellie looked amazed "Triplets, that's very rare." she complimented "But, I always thought that triplets have similar looks, it turns out it's not true considering your purple hair Aikara."

"I was blonde like them before too you know? I decided to dye my hair purple because of my upcoming role in the movie." I said as I touched my hair.

As I felt the natural texture of my hair instead of the usual wig, my worries grew stronger. I hadn't planned on using this excuse, and I would have been perfectly fine wearing the wig. The problem is, by using this excuse, there's a higher chance of someone connecting the dots and realizing I'm Ai's child. We do look alike, and some clever people might figure it out. But maybe I'm just overthinking things.

I still remember the moment we came up with this excuse. It was just a few days ago when Ai suggested it. Satou objected, calling her foolish for even considering such a risky move. Apparently, Ai wants me to forgo the wig because this will be the first movie where we'll be playing mother and son. She thought it would be cool if her on-screen son wasn't hiding behind a facade.

But Satou kept insisting it was too dangerous.

Usually, when Ai made requests to spend time with us kids outside of our house, they would get rejected like this and she would give up. But this time, she was strangely determined, and eventually, Satou reluctantly agreed.

I snapped back to reality when Ellie spoke up. "I understand," she replied, returning Ruby's notebook with her message and signature.

Ruby happily took it back, beaming with gratitude. "Thank you so much!" she exclaimed. "I'll treasure this forever!"

Ellie smiled warmly at Ruby's enthusiasm. Glancing at her watch briefly, she looked back up and said, "I have to go now. It's almost time for my scene. It was nice meeting both of you."

She stood up, and I felt the urge to inquire about her vacant eyes. I wanted to ask if she was alright, what had caused her to become like this. But deep down, I knew I didn't have the right to probe into her personal matters. Our connection was too distant for her to reveal those secrets.

In that moment, I realized I was merely a spectator in her life.

Still, I yearned to bring her some cheer, to alleviate at least a fraction of her burdens. And so, with a smile on my face, I hurried towards her and grabbed her hand, surprising her. "Wha-" she wasn't able to finish as I placed her hand on my head and guided it to ruffle my hair.

"Hey there! You seem pretty down, so I thought I could cheer you up," I said, grinning widely. "You might be wondering why I put your hand on my head. Well, it's simple. I'm absolutely adorable, so I'm confident that I can bring you joy and chase away that sadness."

Suddenly, Ellie's breath grew shallow and erratic, and beads of sweat formed on her forehead. Overwhelmed by her emotions, she sank to her knees, her eyes wide with fear.

"Haa, haa," she gasped, struggling to catch her breath.

What was happening?

I desperately searched for answers, my heart pounding with helplessness. However, I understood that my limited knowledge prevented me from comprehending her condition fully. After all, I wasn't a medical professional.

Ruby, too, wore a worried expression as she called out to the nearby staff, "Help!" Her cry caught their attention, and they rushed towards us, ready to assist Ellie.

They reached Ellie, and they were about to rush her to the hospital when she abruptly stood up. "I'm fine," she asserted.

It's clear that you're not fine, so please stop pretending. Your acting skills are worse than mine; you can't hide your suffering from me.

"Are you sure?" one of the staff members asked, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

"I'm fine, I just need to go to the restroom," Ellie quickly replied, heading towards the restroom without acknowledging the worried glances of the crew.

I wanted to go after her, to offer comfort and support. But as I recalled her collapsing the moment I spoke to her, I couldn't help but hesitate, wondering if I had played a part in her distress. And because of that hesitation, all I could do was watch her walk away from me, her once steady steps now feeble and unfocused, as if she might stumble and crumble at any moment.

Ellie, please be alright.

__________

(Ellie POV)

As I quickly strolled to the restroom, memories of the past started to flow into my mind, a memory that I treasure and remember to this day. Since, it was my first meeting with him,

<----Flashback---->

I was sitting on the floor at the orphanage, crying as I hugged my knees and buried my face in them.

I was crying because of one reason only —the relentless teasing and bullying from the other kids at the orphanage. It seemed like I could never escape their cruel taunts and hurtful remarks. Whether it was about my appearance, my background, or simply because I was different, their words pierced deep into my heart, leaving me feeling isolated and alone.

As I sat there, tears streaming down my face, I couldn't help but wonder why they treated me this way. We were all in the same boat, longing for a loving family and a place to call home. But instead of finding solace and companionship among each other, we were divided by bitterness and animosity.

The orphanage staff did their best to maintain order, but their efforts often fell short. They were overwhelmed with the responsibilities of taking care of so many children, and it seemed that dealing with the dynamics between us was low on their priority list. So, day after day, I endured the torment, hoping for a change that never seemed to come.

In those moments of torment, the weight of loneliness pressed upon me, suffocating any flicker of hope that remained. I felt trapped in an endless cycle of despair, unable to break free from the chains of torment.

Time seemed to stretch indefinitely as I continued to weep, my sobs growing quieter but no less painful. It was in that moment, as the room remained shrouded in darkness, that a faint sound caught my attention. I lifted my tear-stained face, straining to listen amidst the silence.

Footsteps.

I blinked away the remaining tears, and through the blur, I caught sight of a figure approaching. As they drew nearer, I could make out their distinct features, a face I had seen before. It was Noah, the boy who had become somewhat of a legend within the orphanage. He was known for his perpetually gloomy disposition, which had resulted in repeated rejections from potential adoptive families.

Noah's arrival surprised me. He rarely interacted with anyone, choosing to keep to himself most of the time. His presence always carried an aura of sadness, mirroring the pain many of us felt but often kept hidden. Yet, there he was, slowly making his way towards me, as if drawn by an invisible force.

His eyes met mine, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.

Suddenly, he grabbed my hand and placed it on his head, forcing my hand to ruffle his hair,

I became surprised, why did he do that? It seems like my face was showing what I thoughts as he smiled brightly like the sun.

"Hey there! You look pretty sad, so I thought I should cheer you up." He said, and a grin formed in his face "You might be wondering why I placed your hand on my head, it's simple. I'm absolutely adorable, so I'm sure I will make you happy and make that sadness go away."

As Noah spoke, his words infused the air with an infectious optimism, and his radiant smile enveloped me like the warmth of the sun. I couldn't help but be captivated by his genuine enthusiasm. It was so warm, so bright and I felt drawn to it, just like a moth to a flame, even as I felt myself get burned by his dazzling smile, I have no choice but to get enveloped by it.

His explanation for placing my hand on his head brought forth a giggle, a sound that had been absent from my world for far too long. His playful confidence was infectious, and it felt like a ray of sunshine breaking through the storm clouds that had lingered over me. His words held a whimsical charm, reminding me not to take life's hardships too seriously.

I looked into Noah's eyes, my amazement mirrored in his bright gaze. There was a connection between us, something that transcended the walls of the orphanage and the pain we had both endured. In his smile, I found a glimmer of hope, a reminder that happiness could be found even in the most unlikely of places.

As I basked in the glow of his infectious joy, I couldn't deny the warmth that spread through my heart. A newfound sense of lightness filled me, pushing back the weight of sorrow that had consumed me for so long. Noah's smile had become a beacon of happiness, guiding me towards a brighter path.

<----End of Flashback---->

That day still lingered in my mind, how could it not? The memory of Noah's infectious joy and his sun-like smile continued to brighten my days in the orphanage. He became my source of hope and the reason I found solace amidst the gloom. I admired him deeply, yearning to embody his lightheartedness and zest for life.

Leaving the past behind, I found myself in the restroom, seeking a momentary refuge. But as I stepped inside, a wave of nausea swept over me, overpowering my senses. I hurriedly made my way to the toilet, unable to contain the contents of my unsettled stomach any longer.

"Blegh," I heaved, emptying my stomach into the bowl, my body convulsing with each retch. The physical release brought a temporary relief, but it was overshadowed by a lingering sense of discomfort and weakness.

As I wiped the vomit from my mouth, I couldn't help but reflect on the fact that this was the first time I had experienced a panic attack outside of a concert. It was during those events that these episodes were usually triggered, as they served as potent reminders of all the sacrifices I had made.

It was because I couldn't shake off the memory of the kid I had recently met, Aikara, if I remember his name correctly. There was something about him that reminded me so much of Noah, causing my PTSD to flare up.

Aikara's tender gestures of comfort, his soothing presence, resurrected the ghost of Noah's embrace from the depths of my soul. Tears surged uncontrollably, cascading down my face, as I found myself instinctively crouching down, seeking solace in the embrace of my own arms, desperately clutching at the fragments of my shattered being.

It was a painful déjà vu, reminiscent of the lonely position I once assumed in the desolate confines of the orphanage, the day Noah entered my life and became my guiding light. But this time, as I huddled there, trembling and broken, no comforting figure emerged from the shadows to offer solace and understanding.

"Noah," I whispered through choked sobs, the sound barely audible amidst the anguish that consumed me. "Why did you leave me all alone? Why did you have to slip away from my grasp, why did you die?"

The weight of his absence pressed upon me, squeezing my chest with an indescribable ache. Each breath I took served as a painful reminder that he was no longer here, leaving behind an emptiness that seemed impossible to fill.

Noah, you were my guiding light, my source of optimism in this desolate world. So why did you leave me behind?

With trembling hands, I reached for the necklace adorning my neck and carefully opened the pendant. Inside, I discovered a faded photograph that had clearly weathered the test of time. It was evident that the picture had been cherished and safeguarded with utmost care, considering its age.

(image here)

Etched at the bottom of the pendant, there was a heartfelt message engraved in delicate letters.

"To my dear little sister Ellie, wishing you a happy birthday. I love you."

I... I love you too, Noah nii-chan.

I've sacrificed so much in my quest to find you. I embarked on a path of becoming an idol, pouring my heart and soul into my endeavors, all with the hope of gaining popularity and eventually reuniting with you. And now... why? Why did you have to leave this world? Why did you have to die?

I continued to weep in the restroom, my mind overwhelmed with sorrow as memories from the past flooded my thoughts.

__

A.N

Here to break your immersion, Author-san appears.

Looks like there's more to Ellie than I thought.

And, can you give me possible theories on Ellie's backstory, I want to hear your own thoughts. Clue, look at chapter 12, 'Can you act'.

That's all