Chapter 4: Feelings

Kate

I fixed my things inside my locker and brought the only things that I needed to do. Like for example, homework in mathematics. I really don’t get math and I don’t know why we need to study such hard problems that would only cause our mind to bursts and to be blown out into tiny little pieces. Thinking about makes me frustrated, I think I’m going to have a headache.

“See that girl? She was shouting at Dylan a while ago. She’s just a transferee and yet she wants attention.” I heard a girl talking behind my back.

I turn to face whoever it was and people at my back were looking at me with their judgmental looks and backstabbing words. They look at me as if I’m a criminal, what do they care about Dylan? Why don’t they just mind their own business and go do something or better yet, why don’t they just fuck off? Don’t they have some more important to do rather than snooping out other people’s business?

“Hey Kate!” I heard Beth’s voice, she was just across the hall. She was waving her hands, gesturing me that she was there. People passing by around her makes her look small, it’s difficult to see her without waving her hands at me.

I waved my hands back, closes my locker and approached her. I don’t care about those people who were giving me their looks and hurtful words, I mean they don’t know me and what do I care about them? I don’t give a damn thing about them. There are like those people who has nothing to do but gossip and doesn’t know what to do in this crazy and messy world.

“So, are you going to my house?” she pulls the strands of her hair and tucked it at the back of her ear, she was hugging four books on her arms. If I will be bringing books, I can only bring one or two.

“Oh, I would love to. But, I have homework to do. How about on Monday? I kind of having a bad day today, again.” I pointed her those people who were looking at me with those mean and judgmental stares.

“Oh I see, don’t mind them. They don’t even know the whole story.” She rolled her eyes. “See you on Monday, okay?” She gave me a peck on the cheek and smiled. Glad that I have someone who is on my side.

She turned her back, give me one last smile and left.

I’m glad that I was able to meet a girl like her, to be friends with an innocent and kind girl.

-

I was walking at the parking lot, the exit was headed that way. That’s why you have to pass through the parking lot first. There are only few people in the parking lot. Some students were already itching their way out of the school and I’m no different than them. If only I can have a car. I sighed in the thought that it will take years before I can have my own car. My mother doesn’t want me to have one because she said that she doesn’t trust me when it comes to big responsibilities. I mean, what’s so big about having a car or owning one? It’s not like I’m doing something that’s against the law.

I plugged both my earphones in my ear, humming the song that I was listening to. It’s like I’m on my own little world whenever I listen to my playlist.

A car stopped in front of me, it was a Mercedes Benz model car, color black. The window rolled down and the annoying guy was there smiling at me like a complete idiot. What does he want now? Can’t he just leave me alone already?

“Want me to drive you home?” He offered nicely, his smile was still plastered on his face.

I don’t really want to get involved with him. What if people saw us? Or better yet, what if they’ll get a wrong idea? I don’t want that to happen and it’s not like we like each other and that won’t even happen. I won’t let that happen because that will just cause a big problem in my life and I don’t want to have big problems like him.

I’m not bitter, I’m just taking precautions. I had a boyfriend once, he was nice. But it turns out, it wasn’t just me. He was being too friendly, that jerk has another girl besides me. Let’s just say that the other girl that he was also dating was my close friend. Major bummer and I wasn’t really expecting that. I put aside love and make other things as the top of my priorities. Love? That is just nothing but a problem in any other people’s life.

And I think that Dylan, being entitled as the playboy was one of those people who can tore your heart in just one minute.

“Hey, Kate!” Someone called my name and I didn’t like the tone of its voice. I turned my back and it was Jeff.

He was my lab partner, a major pain in the ass. He wanted me to come at their house after class and do our project together which I didn’t agreed to. I mean, we can do our projects separately. And now, he keeps on following me. Forcing me to stay at their house.

My eyes were wide open and I don’t have anywhere else to hide, Dylan was looking at me. Curiosity was evident on his face. I have no other choice and this is the only option I have.

“Don’t think of anything else, get me out of the car as soon as we stopped by the convenience store not so far from here.” I said. I was troubled and itching to get out of this place.

“Deal.” He grins. He opened the other side of the car and let me in. The only thing that’s on my head right now is to get away from this school. To get away from my nerd lab partner, Jeff.

I buckled my seatbelt as Dylan started the engine.

As soon as we got out of the school, I take a deep breath and lean my head against the window. The rain starts pouring, I’m still glad that I took the offer even if I hated the guy who was just seated next to mine.

“You can drop me off here.” I said. I didn’t dare look at him.

He didn’t reply and just continue to drive. I repeated what I said a while ago and he keeps on ignoring me as if I’m just an air.

The convenience store was already streets away, he didn’t even stopped the car. Where is this guy taking me? He is giving me a headache.

“Dylan!” I shouted. I wanted to get his attention because none of what I’m saying a while ago was helping.

I looked at him and saw him smiling. What’s with the smiling? Can’t he stop it? It’s already freaking me out.

“I’ll only reply to you if you looked at me. It’s rude to talk to someone without looking at them.” He scoffs. He readjust his rearview mirror and faced me, “Kate.” He added.

That bastard Jeff. If only he didn’t call my name, Dylan wouldn’t know. And why did he call my first name? We’re just lab partners, we’re not even close.

“You’re spacing out again.” He called my attention.

“What do you care? Why don’t you just stop the car and let me get out of the car.” I retorted. It’s still raining and I didn’t even bring an umbrella.

He exhaled and said, “I’m taking you home, it’s raining and I don’t want to see you get wet. You might catch a cold and no one wants that.”

My phone rang and it was a call from my oh so sweet mother. What is it this time? Don’t tell me she’ll be going home late. I don’t have a key for myself.

“Hello? Mom?” I answered the phone call. Please don’t tell me that what I was thinking is what she was going to tell me. I crossed my fingers, hoping for luck.

“Hi Mom!” Dylan shouted. My eyes widen, I covered his mouth with the use of my hand and I felt his lips curved. As if he was smiling. He is not helping at all.

“Who is that? Is that your friend? Anyway, I wasn’t expecting that I have more work to do so I’ll be home late today. Sorry honey. Can you just stay at your friend’s house again? You can sleep over at their house as long as you’re staying at your female friend’s house. Okay? I’ve got to go now! Love you.

“ she said calmly.

“WHAT? But mom? Hello? Mom?” I rolled my eyes. I was annoyed, as usual. She hung up on me, again! I’m getting sick of this. I should’ve taken the keys last morning. Why didn’t she gave me a spare key anyway? Doesn’t she trust her own daughter to guard the house? What is she even thinking?

“Stupid mother, I hate her!” I said angrily. I throw my phone inside of my bag and crossed my arms against my chest. I felt like I’m going to have a headache. I placed one of my hand in my face, calming myself. I don’t care if Dylan saw me, I’m angry and very irritated. I’m always pissed off because of my mother who hasn’t even done anything good. All she does was to distance me from my father and moved me into another school that I don’t even recall that we talked about it.

“You can stay in my apartment for a while.” He said. His words were calm and as if he doesn’t want to pressure me.

I looked at him with my left eyebrow raised. Does he know what he’s saying? He knows that I hate him right? I removed my hand from my face and waited for him to add his sentence.

“I mean, don’t get the wrong idea. You can strangle me if I was about to do anything bad to you which I don’t think I would. We can watch movie or you could just pretend that I don’t exist.” He was being serious. He’s not laughing and waited for my reply.

“Keep your word.” I said. This is going to be awkward.

-

He parked his car and led me to his apartment. It was nice, I wish I could have my own apartment. I want to get out of my mother’s house already.

The apartment was clean, I taught it would be messy because he’s a guy but I was wrong. He have a flat screen tv, king sized bed, a bath tub in the bathroom, you can see a beautiful view from the window and the interior design of the apartment was so classy and in the same time, modern.

They were right, he’s rich.

“Make yourself at home. The movies are under that drawer, just feel free to watch anything you want. I’ll be taking a shower and just ignore me.” He placed his keys on the counter and went to another room which I presume to be his bedroom.

“Thanks.” I said. I don’t know if he heard me but I just picked whatever movie I’d like to watch.

I placed the selected movie that I wanted to watch on the DVD. What I picked was Easy A, starring Emma Stone. I really loved her and I liked the movies she stars on.

I heard Dylan humming inside the bathroom. Is that guy really Dylan? Is he possessed or something? I taught girls only sing in the bathroom. I chuckled in the thought of Dylan singing in the shower.

He was singing loudly that I can barely hear him even if I’m distance away.

I kept laughing, his voice is getting louder.

The bathroom of the door opened and I kept my eyes focused on the flat screen tv.

I can’t stop laughing, I closed my mouth to keep him from hearing me.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

I didn’t answered him and kept my mouth shut.

He was in front of me, standing when he only has his towel on. His six packed abs were all like there.

I took the pillow beside me and aimed it at him.

“Please wear some clothes.” I divert my eyes on the tv. I stopped laughing and focused my eyes on the movie that I was watching.

He blocked the tv by standing in front and throw the pillow back at me.

“What? Am I not hot enough?” He jokes. “I’m going to get some clothes on.” He added.

“Yeah! You better.” I exclaimed. I can feel myself blushing, embarrassed and in the same time flustered.

I shake my head and tried to remove everything that’s going on my head.

I lied comfortably in the couch and focused my eyes on what I was watching.

What am I really doing here? Why did I ever let myself stay in here? I shouldn’t be here. What if his friends come go here and saw us? Maybe they’ll get a wrong idea and I don’t know what to think anymore.

“Hey, hey Kate?” I turned my head and his face was just inches to mine. I felt my heart fluster. As if I can’t breathe and my heart kept on beating fast.

I put my hand on his face and pushed his face away from me.

“What do you want?” I retorted. “Don’t do that again.” I added.

“I said, if you want to order some pizza for dinner?” He asked. He lift my legs and sat down the couch. He placed my legs above his lap.

“Yes and please get away from me.” I crossed my arms against my chest and focused my eyes on him.

He picked up his phone and ordered pizza. He completely ignored everything that I’ve said. He just glance for a second and focused his eyes at front.

I don’t want to repeat everything I said and just ignored him. He doesn’t know how to keep his word but it’s a good thing because we weren’t talking that much.

In just one single moment, everything turned dark.

“What just happened?!” I sat down immediately and look for my phone from my bag which I can’t find.

“Calm down, it’s not like you haven’t experienced anything like this before.” He focused the light of his phone to me.

“C’mon, help me get some candles in the kitchen.” He stands up and I followed him.

The truth is, I’m afraid of the dark.

“Here. Light this up.” He gave me the candles and lighted them with the match that is on top of the sink.

We went back at the living room and placed the candle on the glass table. We were just sitting there, together in the same couch. Silence filled the air and I can feel that I’m losing my mind.

“Why is the pizza taking so long?” We both said together.

We faced at each other, “Jinx!” We both said.

“Quit it.” I said, smiling.

“I’m getting hungry, you know that right?” His stomach grumbles and it made me laugh.

“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty obvious.” I said sarcastically.

I lean on the couch and he did the same.

“Why do you keep on avoiding me and talked to me as if I’m a bad guy.” He opened the topic.

“Uh-well. Why are you asking me those questions?” I take one deep breathe. “Why do you keep on asking my name from the first place?” I followed with a question.

“I’ll answer you if you answer mine first. Please be honest, it’s not like I’m a criminal or something. I mean, I haven’t done anything to you and yet you keep on distancing yourself away from me.” I felt his eyes focused on me.

“You know that you’re known as a playboy right?” I said.

“Yeah, so what about it?” He asked calmly and waited for me to respond. “Kate.” He added.

“Well, I think that you know. You just want to flirt with me with every other girls.” I faced him. I was being serious and tried to think of the words to say.

“I flirt girls for fun but I don’t dare and hurt their feelings. To answer your question, I kept on asking your name because I—uhh” He didn’t finished his sentence because the door bell rang.

“Pizza delivery!” The pizza guy shouted.

“Just a sec.” Dylan opened the door and paid for the pizza. “Thanks.” He said.

“Let’s go eat.” He placed the pizza on top of the glass table and as soon as we started to open the box, the lights filled the room. The electricity was back on.

I blow the light of the candle, “Let’s eat!” I said. I didn’t asked for him to continue his sentence because whatever his reason was, I know that he was just going to tell me that he wants to be friends with me.

Being friends is not bad, but I still need to be cautious. We don’t know each other well and I know what kind of girl that he will go over heels for.

-

Dylan

After eating some pizza, we watched a movie. She agreed to watch an action movie because like me, she likes it too.

We talked in some scenes of the movie and she was fun to hang out with. She’s like someone who you could be comfortable with and be yourself whenever you’re with her.

The movie ended, I was getting sleepy and she didn’t even spoke one word when I asked her how the movie was.

“Hey Kate, it’s late already. Aren’t you going to go home?” I looked at her. She was already asleep.

Some strands of her hair was on her face and I removed them and tucked it behind her ear. It made me smile seeing her fall asleep like this. I haven’t felt this way before. She’s the only girl that made me felt like this. I maybe a play boy but I didn’t dare or tried to hurt any other girls’ feelings.

I put my arms around her waist and carried her. I lie her down at my king sized bed and covered her with the blanket.

I took some of the pillow in my bed and went to couch and let myself sleep there. I wasn’t comfortable sleeping here but none of those matters because I have something in my mind right now.

And that something is, why do I felt so different whenever I’m with Kate?