Dinner Date (2)

She blushed at the contact but also looked like she deeply enjoyed it. So I immediately retracted my hand. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea, after all.

"Why are you so sure that telling the Sandaime would immediately result in the news being spread throughout the world? He could train you so that you would become strong enough to fend him off and at the same time not let anyone else know. I am sure he would keep the secret as well if it meant keeping you safe and protected from Itachi." She spat out his name with such venom that it surprised even me. Oh dear.

Of course I also thought of that alternative. Receiving training from the village's best shinobi would certainly be extremely useful in my goal of acquiring strength beyond measure. However, what she didn't and couldn't have known about was the existence of one man – Danzo, the man with a dozen Sharingan eyes surgically embedded into his arm that was also enhanced with Senju Hashirama's DNA.

The relationship between Hiruzen and Danzo at this current juncture was ambiguous. ROOT, Danzo's own personal subdivision of the ANBU, was created with Hiruzen's permission and for years he ignored ROOT's questionable foreign ops, abduction of children and various other dubious actions they took.

Although the Sandaime ordered Danzo to disband ROOT after learning of his ordering of Itachi to kill his entire clan, he still tolerated the man's existence, and even at times leaned on him and his advice.

If asked whether I was a hundred percent sure Hiruzen would not divulge my Uchiha lineage to Danzo, I could not unequivocally say I was certain that would be the case. And if he did tell Danzo, there was no telling what that man would do in order to gain access to a pair of fresh Sharingan eyes which also belonged to someone with an abnormal physique which is the Gamer's Body.

I was not like Sasuke, who had the backing of his monstrous brother that had threatened Danzo into leaving alone before he left the village. I did not have an S-ranked shinobi that would go to bat for me and disregard their lives in order to slaughter Danzo and his ROOT shinobi.

As such, I could only conclude that before I myself attained that strength, Hiruzen, and especially Danzo could not find out about my Uchiha blood. But this was also a conclusion that I could not share with Hinata since I had no logical way of knowing all this without my meta-knowledge. So I could only come up with another excuse.

"Espionage, Hinata." I answered, "Infiltration, spies, subterfuge… Not even the Sandaime himself could be sure that there existed no foreign operatives or malicious agents that have infiltrated Konoha who might spread this news to their masters. Which is why anyone other than yourself and Sasuke knowing would be one too many."

"What about Asuma-sensei? Shouldn't he be told as well? So that he could keep you safe."

Why is this girl so insistent on me telling everyone who I really was? Seriously, does she want me to get hunted down by Danzo, Orochimaru, Obito and Madara just to name a few of the monsters that would undoubtedly be interested in my existence?

"Asuma-sensei is the son of our Hokage. I may trust the man with my life, but again, I can't be a hundred percent certain he will keep my secret if he thinks that telling his father would be more beneficial to the village. He might even tell the Sandaime if he thought that was the best outcome for me, however misguided he may be." I answered.

She had on a look of understanding, albeit slightly reluctant. I would assume that 'obsessive devotion' meant she would just take my words as gospel, though the system did mention that she was in the 'early stages' of it.

Of course, when I was preparing dinner earlier in the day, a few stray thoughts did pop into my head regarding to what extent was she devoted to me. Could she be manipulated and moulded to my liking, turned into a servant that obeyed without question, I wondered. It would be so easy too, especially if she developed the later stages of her 'obsessive devotion' to me.

I struck myself in the head once or twice with a flour covered rolling pin whenever those insidious thoughts entered my mind. I had to remind myself that I was no longer the man I used to be – one who would look at the people around me and appraise them for their usefulness. That was a me that had been raised by opportunistic narcissists to become a person exactly like my parents.

It was only through a stroke of extreme fortune that I was granted another chance and another life. One that I would not squander by pretending I was still the same person before I had reincarnated. I may have impulsively chosen to reincarnate thinking it was all just a dream, but that didn't mean I was going to wake up from one at any moment.

After living in this world for four, nearly five years, I could no longer see this world as just a game and its inhabitants NPCs. They were living, breathing people, who had their own thoughts, hopes and dreams. Just like that family whose farm I razed to the ground, Kenta and Miki whose love for each other was as genuine as the air I breathed, and the girl before me now, looking at me with such a hopeful and loving gaze.

To do something as despicable, and as heinous as twisting the mind of this child, was utterly reprehensible and disgusting. I would never claim to be a paragon of morality and righteousness, but neither was I a repugnant, repulsive monster like certain individuals in this world. There were lines I played jump rope with but there were also lines I would never cross.

Manipulating someone, especially one as kind hearted and pure as Hinata was something only a monster would attempt.

So what now, was the question on my mind. Hinata knew my secret, and my reasoning behind why I wanted it kept that way. And I believed her when she said she would not tell anyone.

Over the comfortable silence of a shared secret, I mulled over the next steps to take before Hinata broke the quiet. Her eyelids quivered and her cheeks reddened.

"Shinji-kun, I…" Hinata breathily spoke, lips trembling in trepidation but her voice hopeful. Could it be…?

"I…"

Oh fuck, is this what I think it is? No. God no.

Perhaps it the dread that I was feeling came over my face, or it could be that she decided this was not the best time to say what she initially wanted to say, but what I was worried she would say was not spoken.

"I'll protect you Shinji-kun. No matter what." She uttered with a certainty and decisiveness that washed away the previous impression I had of her. The fire in her eyes burned hotter than the heaven devouring flames of Amaterasu as she continued, "Be it Uchiha Itachi or any foreign agents with malicious intent. Regardless of who they are, I will slaughter them if anyone tries to harm you. This, I swear to you!"

Thank god. I suppressed the heavy sigh of relief. Instead, I smiled at her and replied, "Thank you Hinata. I promise to protect you too. No matter who or what comes our way." This was a genuine promise that I intended to uphold.

For a moment I had thought Hinata would confess her affections for me. That would have been troubling. I simply did not see her in that way. Perhaps in two or three years, but right now? All I could see when I looked at her was a thirteen year old child.

Even if I was in the body of a thirteen year old myself, it just too big of a cognitive dissonance for me to accept her confession. Emotionally, I could perhaps say that I loved her like a brother would; a distant brother that spent most of his time living abroad. But sexually, she did nothing for me. Absolutely nothing.

That was not to say all relationships, especially one between preteens like ourselves, had a sexual component to it. But one could not deny that there had to be an element of physical attraction as the foundation of a successful relationship. And physically, I was not attracted to her – like, at all.

The reason why I was so dreading a sudden confession from her was that I would have hated having to reject her advances right after our heartfelt conversation. I was afraid I might just accept her confession and blurt out, 'I like you too' or something similar out of sheer awkwardness.

Saying I reciprocated her affections when I truly didn't, at least not at this point in time, would just be a dick move. Giving her a half-assed excuse would also be tantamount to stringing her along and playing with her feelings. That would just be taking advantage of a young and naïve child who wasn't emotionally mature enough to understand what a healthy relationship entailed.

I wasn't afraid that she might go out spilling my secrets if I rejected her. Hinata wasn't a person like that… I hope. What I was afraid of was hurting her feelings, damaging her psyche, and cutting down the self-confidence that she had so painstakingly built up. Which was why I was relieved when she didn't confess.

Ideally, I would want to slowly ease her out of her 'obsessive devotion' to me. Something like that was assuredly unhealthy. Because who knows how she would react if I rejected her. Turning to self-harm or suicidal ideation was not a farfetched conclusion. No, I would never let it descend into something like that.

Yet at the same time, I wasn't a psychiatrist or therapist. I didn't know the first thing about preteen psychology and how to fix her unhealthy obsession with me that I have inadvertently caused. So right now I could only take things one step at a time while making sure I did not make things worse. Because if any harm befell the girl as a result of my actions or even inaction, I doubt I would ever be able to forgive myself.

The night ended soon after her declaration. Our dinner date concluding with us still as friends, comrades and teammates. Which was perhaps the best ending I could have hoped for. For now at least.