1 Chapter 1

The whiteboard marker falling from my head had been thrown as a result of my lack of attention span. My eyes shot open as I sent death glares at the teacher who seethed anger.

"Jenn, eyes up here, please!" I rolled my eyes, not bothering to worry about the rude manner and stared up at the ceiling with boredom.

"I guess you’d enjoy detention then."

As much as I wanted to continue my ignorant and impolite facade, detention was certainly not on my priority list. I reluctantly apologised and opened the ratty textbook that sat in front of me. History was not one of my favourite subjects yet seeing as if this would be last year I had to sit through this torture, induced some comfort.

Anxious for the sound of the lunch bell, the time it came around had caused a stampede of students wanting to get out of class. I too was inclusive of that group. Picking up food from the cafeteria, I walked towards a certain group of individuals who matched my ambivert energy. Three girls were seated at the far end of the cafeteria stuffing their mouths with nuggets.

Lyra waved at me as I went to join them on the table. She stood as the tallest among our group with features of stellar beauty that prompted stares. Her face hinted the need to speak urgently but hesitance accompanied her expressions.

"Lyra?"

When she didn't reply, I looked at Ophelia. She returned my stare but continued on chewing her food. Usually, the person with a bubbly ambience, her quietness irked me.

"Well, we were wondering if you were free on Saturday?" Ophelia broke the silence.

"What for?" I replied.

"To go out somewhere. Maybe the movies?" she uttered with a slight pause of tension.

Whilst the notion of escaping the confinement of home was genuinely tempting, such wishes weren’t quite easy. Perhaps a day without irritation from my mum was necessary but my age meant complying with her weird restrictions.

"You know I can't. Mum won't let me," I replied. "Maybe next time." I knew that statement was distant from expectations and they were aware of it too.

Jessica’s attention rose towards me. Shyer than the others, her academic life was consistent with exceptional grades, caffeine and stress. Our lifestyles were similar on the outside, but family aspects were diverged with utmost differences. Traumatic changes were a factor that stripped me of freedom and from a certain point in my lifetime, social gatherings were somewhat prohibited.

"Don’t worry about me though, you guys do your thing,” I reassured to avoid them feeling guilty for my problems.

I could faintly hear Lyra mumbling, but my mind was elsewhere.

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The extreme torture of school had finally finished for the day, and I was walking home. I wrapped my arms around my body as the cold wind made me shiver. Dark clouds were starting to form in the sky, and I realised that I needed to hurry in case I got drenched with rain.

I quickened my pace and basically ran up the driveway to my door. I fumbled around in my bag for my keys so I could open the door and escape the cold. As soon as I opened the door, I turned around in hearing mum’s voice. It made me shudder.

"Jenn?"

It was my mum. I despised saying the word. I thought she would be at work today, so I had been in a good mood. Ideas ran through my head as I wondered what the heck she wanted.

"Yeah?" I replied cautiously.

"Um, I'm going out tonight, you'll have to make dinner yourself," she whispered quietly.

"Yeah, okay."

It wasn't new to me. Mum was either working or out in the pub, drinking away her guilt, her worries. Whereas I stayed home drowning myself in the stress that came with the absence of my dad. I always made dinner every night. In the beginning, I would make dinner for both of us waiting until she came home, hoping that we could have a regular peaceful meal. But soon I began to realise that there was no point waiting and I gave up. Nowadays, my routine included making dinner for myself, doing homework or watching a show and then just before I went to bed, I would make sure that I left Advil and a glass of water on her bedside table so that when she came back in the morning from her intense hangover, at least she could do something about it. She was my mum, after all. I hated how nice I was.

After the moment with my mum, I trudged upstairs to start my shower. Cleanliness and comfort were welcoming after unwanted obstacles. Plus, there wasn’t much else to do.

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Sometime later, and I had finally decided to excuse myself from entertainment to make dinner. I checked the fridge and opened a container which contained some leftover lasagne from last night. I took a piece and heated it up then went over to the cabinet, took a glass and filled it with water.

I placed the plate in one hand and the glass in the other as I tried to mimic a waitress at a fancy restaurant. But of course, me being the clumsy one, I dropped the plate onto the tiles. The plate smashed into tiny pieces and pieces of lasagne splattered everywhere. The glass which was in my other hand shattered into smithereens with water all over the place. Utter annoyance.

I needed to get this cleaned up before mum came home. That is if she came back tonight. I picked up a broom and swept the broken crockery into a pile. I gently placed all of it into a plastic bag making sure that I didn't cut myself in the process. After I had cleaned up the lasagne and water, and the tiles were sparkling, I sat myself down on the couch, shutting my eyes. I had lost my appetite and just wanted to go to bed.

I collected my phone from the kitchen counter and walked upstairs. It was only 7:45, but I was frustrated with myself for being stupid and just wanted to sleep.

When I reached my room, I closed the door and went to place my phone on my table. But just before I could put it down, a new message from Jess popped up.

Jess: So short notice – ik, but Clara’s having her bday party with invites for everyone. Girls are coming, can u come too?

My instincts told me that Jess had sneaked out as her parents probably wouldn't even let her out to their street by herself. Or her parents had given her permission to actually go to the party. I was leaning towards the first option.

Me: I'm not coming! I'm not allowed to go without permission, and even if I did ask, I probably wouldn't be allowed anyways.

Jess: Sneak out like me?

I had been correct. But there was no way in hell, I was going to sneak out. I didn't need to either since mum wouldn't be home until tomorrow morning

Jess: For me? Just this one time? Please…

The thought process that came with this was hard. A one-time opportunity. What was there to lose? With mum arriving home in the morning and staying in bed from the hangover she was to encounter, she would forget about me and what my location was. The most I could do was have some fun.

Me: K, but just this once. Mum's out, so can just go easily. I'll be ready. What should I wear? Give me an hour.

Jess: Great! Look presentable but have fun with your outfit, I’ll be there in an hour. :))

The decision to enter my first party had been made official.