20 years later

"Ash?!"

"What?""Get up. They're calling you," said a freckled young guy who Ash had befriended out of sheer boredom over the last decade. He kicked Ash's ankle.

"I'm not falling for this again. It stopped being funny after the fifteenth time," Ash turned over and covered his head with his hands. If he were lucky, he could sleep for another year or two. Maybe a long beauty sleep was all he needed.

"I'm serious this time!"

"But it hasn't even been 50 years."

"Just go. Didn't you want to get out of here?"

Ash was pushed through the gates. It was slightly cooler inside, and the smell of suffering souls was less intense, but overall, it wasn't pleasant.

A young boy in a white toga, with a very serious expression on his face, stood before him.

"It's time to weigh your sins," the boy said in an official tone.

"Fine, but just a heads-up, I might break your scales." Ash replied, as he lay down on his back.

The boy didn't say anything. Instead, he quickly extracted Ash's soul from his semi-corporeal form and placed it on small silver scales.

Unexpectedly, nothing spectacular happened, but the boy frowned.

"I need to talk to the manager," he said to Ash and then disappeared into thin air.

Ash became nervous. Given his circumstances, things might not go smoothly for him. However, every soul, no matter how wretched, had the right to be reborn if it wasn't damaged or burdened with resentment.

Suddenly, an older lady with golden hair appeared in front of him, looking annoyed.

She glanced directly at the scales, sighed, and asked, "How is this even possible?"

"I have permission from Lucifer himself to enter the cycle. Is there a problem?"

"Lucifer is your referral? Why am I not surprised? With this kind of dirty, stinky karma, you can only be reborn as a snail. And even that would be too good for you. This is unprecedented."

"Okay, a snail is fine. How about an amoeba? I'll take that too," Ash replied, not minding anything as long as he could finally escape his current life.

"You have to pay for your sins during your next rebirth. For the punishment to be effective, you need human brains and pain receptors. But you can't be human, since you've been so terrible in this life. Do you see my dilemma here?"

"How about being a chicken or a pig at a meat factory that never sees the light of day, lives in its own feces, and then gets brutally killed?" Ash suggested helpfully.

The woman shook her head.

"That lifespan is too short."

"Well, I'm sorry for troubling you."

"However… I might have an idea of what to do with you. It's unorthodox, but your case is special. By the way, why don't you just choose the demon path and work for Lucifer for the rest of eternity? You'll have to go through thousands of awful rebirths before your slate gets anywhere near clean."

"Believe it or not, I'm actually a good person, and I don't want to be an employee in Hell," Ash rolled his eyes. Everyone he knew had asked him this question. Why not become a demon of vengeance? What could he say? He just wanted a normal life.

The old lady disappeared briefly and then reappeared with an apple in her hand.

"Eat this, and you'll forget everything about your current life and be able to start fresh."

Ash's hands trembled as he reached for the apple. This was his salvation. Finally, he would forget that he was ever Ash from Emersville. He devoured the apple in less than five seconds, while the lady looked at him in disbelief.

"Usually, people are more reluctant to let go of their identities and former lives…"

Ash didn't hear her anymore, as his semi-corporeal body entirely disintegrated. The young boy placed his soul in a glass jar and carried it to the door marked "Experiments."

***

"Has he already been reborn?" The Immortal sat in his wheelchair right in front of the gates of Hell, questioning a very tired soul collector named Nathaniel.

"I suppose so. But it's not our department that deals with him now. He's not in Hell. That's for sure."

"Does Lucifer know where he is?"

"The Father of Darkness has other things on his mind right now. He wants to create his own cryptocurrency, so he doesn't have time to think about some random serial killer. Believe it or not, we have a lot of those coming in and out every single day."

"I can't find him anywhere."

"Then keep looking. I don't know what else to tell you."

"Bring Lucifer."

Nathaniel growled and went to call his boss.

"He's here again?" The Devil lifted his head from behind his three monitors.

"Yes."

"I'll see him. No need to be rude to a cripple. It took him a lot of effort to get here in his little chair."

The Devil came out to the gates, wearing baggy hip-hop pants and a Metallica t-shirt.

"You've changed your style again?" The Immortal raised his eyebrow.

"Change is constant, yet things remain the same. Do you like it?" Lucifer smiled.

"I don't care for Metallica."

"Because you're boring. No wonder Ash left you without a second thought."

"Where is he?"

"Why would you think I know that?"

"You've been obsessed with Ash since he appeared on your radar. I would think you'd check up on him."

"I'm not his friend, I'm not his lover, and I'm a busy person. Or a busy demon. Depending on the mood."

"I'll trade you anything you want for the information."

"What makes you think you have anything that I want?"

"If I don't, why are your ghouls constantly monitoring my every move and trying to break into my house?"

"Damn. I told them to be more careful."

"What do you want?"

"The Mirror of Divine Essence," The Devil finally admitted.

This mirror showed anyone who looked into it whether they had any divinity in them — basically if they had the potential to achieve Godhood.

"Why would you need that?"

"No particular reason." The Devil winked.

"Don't tell me you still want to ascend? You've been banished thirteen times. You were the first one to be banished. You're the reason why banishment was invented in the first place."

"A lot of those banishments were unfair. Like in the 16th century, they kicked me out because I drank the wrong kind of alcohol. That rule doesn't even exist anymore. And, to be completely honest, the God who banished me the first time was himself punished for some pretty heavy war crimes. I heard he is confined to his quarters and has to send his son out to deal with all the issues."

"Classic whataboutism. You're responsible for all the evil happening around the world right now. That God eradicated a couple of tribes a long time ago. Which God hasn't done that at some point?"

"Are you going to give me the mirror?"

"Knock yourself out. Tell me where Ash is."

"Well… actually, how did you know that he's not anywhere on this Earth? I'm curious. Do you two have some kind of spiritual connection?"

"None of your business."

"So that's the case. How romantic," The Devil smiled a crooked smile.

"Where is he?" The Immortal started getting angry.

"Calm down. He was reborn in one of the parallel dimensions."

The Immortal paled instantly.

"Why?"

"I already told you. They're getting creative there. Besides, the level of torturing a soul you can achieve in those other dimensions is much higher and more diverse than on our good ol' Earth. This provides some flexibility in certain complicated cases."

"How am I supposed to find him then?"

"Unless you're a God or a demon who can jump between dimensions, you can't find him."

"It can't be true."

"I'm not lying. You can always wait for his next rebirth and hope for the best."

"His soul might not survive the tortures… After everything... he might go crazy. I need to protect him."

"He knew the risks. Ash is a big boy. He'll take care of himself. Besides, technically, he's not even Ash anymore."

"It's still his soul."

"Does the soul determine who you are, or are these your memories and lived experiences?" The Devil asked slyly.

"It's a dishonest question."

"No, it's not. You just don't have an answer for it. Or you do, but you're too afraid to say it out loud."

"I'll be leaving now."

"Now I get why you and Ash were drawn to each other in the first place," Lucifer said as he watched the wheelchair roll away from the gates.

"Why?" The Immortal stopped dead in his tracks.

"Because you have something in common. You both are constantly running away."