Dear Mom and Dad

I love you more than anything, but I am sick and tired of everything. I know you have tried your best but the other kids but I feel like you gave up on me along the way, why don't you understand that everything I do is because of the way you raised me. Dad was an alcoholic and had an addiction to drugs. He did horrible things not just him but my cousins too. Not only to me but my sister. I know that he wasn't in the right state of mind but sometimes, I have a hard time being alone with him. I love my dad I don't know if I can fully forgive him. Mom sometimes I feel like you don't love me as much as the other kids. Why am I the only one who constantly gets into trouble? It's not just my fault. You yell at me saying that I'm ungrateful for you,and how lazy I am, how I'm a horrible daughter. Have you really looked hard at me and realized what you were saying?Everything you say about me the other kids are worse why can't you understand that. I have problems and f****** Trama. I have been waiting to tell someone because of how you both raised me I grew up afraid of everything including men, failing, growing up arguing about everything I do wrong. you ask me why I lie all the time I do it because I know if I tell you the truth you'll be mad and call me ungrateful and horrible. Because of how you raised me I have no dreams I wish that I could die without you honestly I don't think I'd make it to 18 I hate myself and I hate my life but I can never tell you the truth or what I can't stop loving you both you are my parents I can't bring myself to believe you and I also can't bring myself to fully forgive you.