19 Semi retirement

I've been working on my new manor for the last 4 days and I've only just gotten the basement dug and foundations set…..I've been working at a pretty chill pace though

I've had to use proper stone for the foundation and that's what took the most time…mainly due to my paranoia of my weight breaking the bricks

I spent most of the time carving stone out of surrounding boulders with my axes to fit properly and digging the basement out…cutting the stone support pillars in one piece was a bit of a challenge…..but I managed, and even with the rough greyish surface it still looks pretty fly….

I'm also making sure everything to to scale for me….being 8 foot tall makes normal buildings and door ways a little cramped and I don't want to feel that way in my home, so I'm going for a 16 foot ceiling in the basement, same for the upper floors….

The basement was made quite large mainly due to my plans on raiding the iron born and the fact I have no place to store my Glover loot…

The only reason I took materials instead of gold is because gold is pretty useless to me in the short run, it takes weeks if not months for merchants to travel to the north, so even if you have gold it doesn't mean you can buy whatever you want without having to wait for months.

Be it boat or wagon, things take an unreasonable amount of time, so that's the main reason I raided the materials that now sit in my inventory….

I tried to keep my mits off small businesses and stick to mostly the lords "castle" in my looting spree but a little spill over did happen and I may have destroyed a few small folks businesses….a couple blacksmiths and Tailors mainly…..

But now we have tools and materials for the foreseeable future without having to scrape by which makes things a hell of a lot easier going forward….

As I set in the last stone pillar and take a small break on a nearby log in the open basement that's yet to be roofed…..or floored?….whatever…..I can't help by ponder about myself…

It's true I'm still "me" but I've also changed….I can say without a doubt before I went to the 40k verse i had a pretty potent aversion to cannibalism and murder….I mean yeah I had a pretty dark sense of humour and could joke about that stuff easy enough….but now?

I've really only had these thoughts when I was working on my own house and not working at a backbreaking pace trying to get the bare bones of my territory up and running…

I was so busy trying to survive in the 40k verse that I never really bothered to sit and think about how I was changing mentally…

God did say he removed the "brainwashing" and "trauma" which makes sense as I don't have a fanatical love for the all father or nightmares of tyranid swarms blotting out the sun…..but I'm still different….i think I may be a little broken….

Not in a bad way though….more of a fun way….I don't have reservations anymore….no real hesitation in things I think would be funny, fun or just generally helpful no matter how it looks to others….

Like cannibalism should repulse me and make me sick…I don't love it by any stretch of the imagination and I'd rather people not know I do it, but it just feels normal to me now, just a means to an end…..and murder and killing should give me some form of hesitation, but now it just feels….fun isn't the word in looking for….enjoyable?, not unpleasant? No that's not right….I'll just stick to no big deal..

Now I think about it this is the first time I've had to sit and think since I died the first time, I went straight from death to a meeting with god, and then transitioned straight into that nightmare verse and after coming back I was so mentally drained I just fired off a couple random wishes to get away from it all….

Only to be thrown straight into a a fantasy medieval world with minor villains at every corner looking to fuck with someone for some reason…. And then straight into working like a maniac for weeks on end with no rest to get my life here on track…

And after everything happened this is the first time I've really sat down and thought it through and really only one feeling comes to mind...freedom…..

I have no real obligation outside of listening to the starks, which I'll be playing pretty fast and loose with the word "listening", and if they really try and push my buttons I'll probably just snap and murder them all, but such is life I suppose..

I don't actually care about the plot or "main characters" at all or how they are effected by anything I do, I'm just going to live my life the way I want to..

I wouldn't say I don't care about "my people" but after centuries of being in a constant meat grinder it feels hard to form attachments to anyone…the only person I'm friendly with is Will….I'll train him to do all the things I don't want to….which is most things….paperwork and dealing with civil matters mostly

I'll take in a few orphans and train em up as well for things like war and politics….I'll have to focus more on indoctrination as people with a little power tend to let it go to their heads…. Loyalty > clever > strong, in that order..

It's best to have a standing army of a few hundred because I can't run out and solve everything every time something minor happens, I don't want these people reliant on me….I just want the gold they produce.

The only reason I'm building everything personally at the moment is it would take to long to teach anyone how it's done, and by the time they were half sufficient at it winter would be rolling around again and everyone would be hungry and dying in the cold…

So set up some major farms, get food coming in excess and after that, basic infrastructure for a forming city followed by people competent enough to run and protect it will lead to my semi retirement hopefully until the Greyjoy rebellion takes place….

I say "semi retired" lightly because I do plan on raiding the shit out of the iron born over the next year or so and then crying wolf to the starks telling them it was self defence when it eventually comes up…who would believe the iron born? They literally raid people in the open…

If it ever even comes up….I don't plan on leaving survivors, I'll take the thralls and salt wives and their "not slave" kids...and everyone else will be put to the axe, every man, women and child, noble and small folk alike…

It's definitely going to look pretty sus when I start merchant convoys down south with re rigged iron born ships….but what can they do? I was raided by iron born and won the fight? To the Victor goes the spoils!

And the islands of massacred iron born?….no idea what you're talking about mate, never even heard of the iron islands…

I'm sure I'll be fine…

I will eventually head north of the wall by boat to see if I can set up a decent trading station for some extra coin and see if I can recruit some of the skin changers…..they would be useful…

I'm suddenly brought out of my inner monologue of future plans by the galloping clops of a horse approaching….so I make my out of the massive basement to be via the stone steps I installed…

I see will approaching with a retinue of men behind him on horseback who look rather upset I don't recognise, but the fist sigil on their coats is clear as day…

Did I fuck up my stealth mission somehow? These guys here to let me know Glover knew it was me?…..well looks like I'm going on a murder spree….I'll take all the Glovers out and then….heh…..is this going to cascade into me having to kill all nobility in the north when they find out what I did? And there is no way the south isn't going to get involved once northern lords and armies start dropping….I'm going to have to conquer all of westeros arnt I?…..fuck it let's do this…

"My lord!"

I grip my axes ready to launch at the men following Will at a moments notice..

Will pulls up with the men doing the same and all of them dismounting…

" my lord, these men are sent by Lord Glover to inform you of a terrible tragedy that has befallen his lands!"

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Sorry about being mia , I've just been crazy busy lately

Hit me with some stones for my chapters and a review if you are enjoying the story :)

And if there are grammatical errors point them out in the comments…I'm writing this one a phone and auto correct can fuck with me some times..