Looking for Love From the Wrong Person

If life was going so well for you and suddenly things start to go south when a new person comes into your life, the new person is the cause of the downturn. Love is mysterious, it happens to you when you are least expecting it and with people we least expect. Please seek Jesus before you marry. He will tell you, yes or no.

We want our life to be joyous, fun, and peaceful while in love, but love can be scary too. At times what we want is not the best person for us. There is a spirit of discernment in you that will warn you. It will say this person is no good. Your Pastor, your mom, your dad, brothers, sisters, friends. etc. will tell you no, he is not right for you. Look at how his daddy treats his mom. The fruit do not fall far from the tree. Please wake up out of your love illusions and delusions and live. Because an unhealthy relationship/marriage can try to drain the life out of you, amid all the changes you go through for another person, can cause you to lose yourself if you let it. Here are signs that will let you know if the person loves you or not:

1. They will never go out of their way for you. The relationship feels completely one sided.

2. They do not accept you the way you are. Such as the way you walk, wear your hair, style of clothes or the way you laugh etc. just nit-picking at trivial things. It is not anything to do with any bad characteristic they claim you have. It is just that they want to belittle you and make you feel small.

3. They are needy users. They only want your money or what you can do for them to make their life easier not caring about its making your life harder. There is no concern about you at all. They only want your money, vehicle, house etc., but not you. Unfortunately, they do not want your love. Do not settle for this type of marriage, there is happiness out there. Do not be stuck on the inside with a person that do not care for you.

4. They say they want to help you with your passions but when it is time to help, they produce an excuse of why they cannot be there to help you. They have absolutely no interest in you but if you come into money, they are all cuddly with you until it is gone. They do not know what you want from life or the relationship and do not even care.

5. They do not have time to listen to you. In fact, they will walk away and say I am not interested in your gossip. When in essence they know it is not gossip but you wanting to share your feelings about your day. They have no interest in knowing about what you want to do in life, how your day went or how you feel about them.

6. You should only release your love or let someone into your heart if they are worthy. If they go out of their way for you without complaining, if you need something they are willingly to get it for you, they give you gifts on general principle. If you are sick, you do not have to ask for help they help you immediately. Love is not what you feel for someone; it is about how someone else makes you feel about yourself. And if you just do not feel good about yourself when you are around them. If you are constantly unsure of who you are in their presence. If they make you feel that way, on a consistent basis they do not love you.

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7. If your standards do not matter to the person. When you talk to them, they never understand you or give you opposite advice than what you were thinking about. They not only miss out on what you are trying to say, they go on to a different tangent. There is no commonality between the two of you. There is no real deep connection. It is like there is a competition when you all are talking. You just cannot relate to the person. Some people just do not connect on a mental level and there is nothing you can do about it.

8. They are always secretive. They are not willing to see the marriage as a partnership. They hide their phones, have two or three emails that you cannot have access to. They try to cave you in.

They sabotage your vehicle making it the way you cannot go where you need to go without them taking you. (It is because they want gas money for their vehicle.) You have been with them for a really long time now, but you do not know anything about them. Their whole life is a mystery to you, a world they just do not let you in on. Loving your personal space is one thing, shutting people out is another.

9. They take you for granted, and use you to the fullest extent, so much that it has started to bruise your self-respect. And if that is the case, walking out is the best option, because some people will never change.

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10. You're becoming non-confrontational as a person because they start to act wild and out of control such as calling you curse words and starting a physical fight. You would rather avoid any conflict just because you are afraid, they will turn it into a nasty fight. Sadly, being non-confrontational rarely works!

11. Conversations with them are never intelligent or give you any wisdom or insight. They do not seem to understand you and always go off on a totally different tangent.

12. Every relationship has its lows, more downs than ups. But if two people connect with each other on the root level and have respect for each other, most fights get resolved with time and does not get physical. But if even the thought of making it work leaves you exhausted, you are probably stuck with the wrong person.

13. You do not look forward to seeing them anymore. You are not excited at all; in fact, all you think about is how to avoid their presence because of arguments and fights.

14. When you see them coming you are sad. Sometimes you hope they will work overtime or stay over their families house a little longer. You are not happy with them because they are extremely negative and toxic. You may love them with all your heart, but you do not love how you are treated in the relationship. The con artists of the relationship always seem to weigh the pros down.

15. They do not care if their words hurt you. They do not try to speak the truth in love as a matter of fact it seems as though they try to find the harshest way to say what they have to say to you.

They just do not seem to care about your feelings. They do not ask for forgiveness when they do anything wrong or when they hurt you. They even try to shift the blame on you when they hurt you. Neither do they respect you as a person. They even laugh when you are hurting. It is time for you to leave this Narc.

16. Just because of the discomfort and bitterness that has started to creep in, you would rather spend time together with your friends than be on a date with your partner. You enjoy the company of your friends much more.

17. They've been trying to mold you into the person they want you to be, and you have been losing yourself in the process and cooperative only with the hope of being loved but you do not like what you are becoming. It is clear they do not love you for who you are.

18. There is no love life or even communicating as a friend. It is as if you are living with a different person than you were dating and married. The person has turned into a person that you do not recognize. It is like the one that supposed to be protecting you is now the one you need to be protected from. You have been so caught up in resolving conflicts and arguments since forever; the romance and friendship has ceased to exist!

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19. They ask you for things but if you do not give it to them every time, they say you never do anything for them but puts them down. However, the truth is they never give you anything and if you ask for something they always say no. It is called gaslighting. In other words, you are always the problem. You can do a million things for them but when you cannot do just one thing, they will say you never do anything for them based on the one thing you could not help them with.

They seem to be a little too demanding. They try to make you feel guilty for not helping them that one time. If a relationship makes you feel terrible about yourself, it is not worth being in. 20. As much as you want it to work, at the back of your mind you already know a future with this person is not going to work and is going nowhere.

21. They lie a lot, with a straight face, looking you deep in your eyes and they know you know they are lying and could care less. They steal too and will insist that you misplaced the money or items.

22. Instead of giving you compliments; they call you curse words.

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22. They do not ever want to help but always need help. They are a little too needy and tend to totally depend on you for their survival.

24. If you try to get rid of them, they will somehow find a way to come back to you and pretend like you mean the world to them until their motive of coming back to you is fulfilled.

25. They will not ever give you whatever that you are seeking from them. They will never be satisfied with the efforts that you put in a relationship and always nag about what is not there.

26. It is never too late to leave. If you see more than four such signs in your marriage you are definitely in love with the wrong person and you should consider saying goodbye. You may want to talk it out unfortunately people rarely change. SMH The things people endure in the name of marriage.