1 One call Away

I should have tried

I should have said something then maybe I wouldn't feel this crippling regret. Maybe if I had actually gotten to that point, I would… it doesn't matter now

She is gone

I lost

1 - One call Away

Sighhhhhhh

I can't believe my break is really here

No more school for a month but I think I can cheat my way out of summer lesson.

I get to sleep all month long but it's a little bit lonely at home

Nobody is at home currently

Being an only child kinda sucks

But I am used to it

Beats having to wake up early and go to school pretending like even in the midst of kids my age, I don't still get lonely. So the plan is to feed myself first then bath later.

Go downstairs to play a little then...

( That's when it happened, that's when just another summer break became the summer break I didn't want to end. That was when I saw …..HER )

I caught of glimpse of someone in the next compound

What the heck

It's a girl

I quickly ducked using the blocks as a shield

She was my age, I think, she looks taller than me tho but I heard girls tend to grow taller faster than boys

She was stunning

Slim

Tall

With a graceful quite walk

Who was she?

I had no idea

To my knowledge the only people living in that compound are an old couple and newly wed one

The old couples didn't have any children that I know of

I have been in this house for 3 years and we meet them her

The newly weds couldn't have a daughter my age

Was she delivering something, I will know now, if she climbs the stairs then she stays with the newly weds but if she doesn't then she lives with the old couple

And I watched her walk and entered the corridor and I listened to the echo of her footsteps. So she stays with the newly weds

Is she here for holiday or is she like an house help or something

She came out to their balcony and I ran back into the house

Her balcony was facing mine but I was far away from my balcony just enough to see her without her seeing me

AM I A STALKER??

No no no no no no, she is sitting outside and I just happened to look at her

I watched her write on a paper, what could she be writing, well it doesn't matter

I might get lucky and we actually talk

I went to the kitchen to get something to eat

The day went by really fast and I ate while staring at her

How could someone be so beautiful it felt painful

I just wanted her to notice me so bad but I am afraid I would freeze up

The next day, I planned on doing my normal routine but I needed to get onion from the balcony

I leaned over to check

She wasn't there

I ran outside and just as I stepped foot outside she opened her door

Our eyes met

I froze up

I didn't know what to do

Run away?? She would think I am a creep

Say Hi??? What if she is mean and snubs meee

Just pretend not to see her? That would give her a bad impression of me

I summoned up all the courage on my life subscription plan

All the courage I will have and I lifted up my arm and waved

"H..h..h…Hi" I stuttered

But she smiled and waved with this cute pure innocence that just made my heart feel like I just woke up

I felt like I wasn't alive before today

I felt like this was my one purpose

Right here and right now

I felt like she was the one

Then I ran inside

What did you expect me to do!!!!! I couldn't have said anything to keep her from going back inside

I am boring asf

My day plan is to literally eat and sleep

Who am I kidding

That day went by with me regretting not saying hi

So the next day

I went outside and waited for her

She came out to her balcony too and I waved again and apologized for storming off the day before

She was pretty cool actually, she said her smile creeped me out leading to me running away

Apparently she was anxious and shy too

I didn't believe her obviously cause why would I make her anxious

She is probably just being nice

She is so sweet

I had no doubt

We spoke for a while and she was here for the holidays and she is going to be staying her for a month

And I was going to be seeing more of her

We got quite close and turns out she was really lonely too since she didn't have anyone her age to talk to

So meeting me made her holiday feel special

Her words not mine

And that made my life

Like I have heard of a compliment making your day and you feeling like nobody could make you happier that day but her words felt like nobody else could make me feel this happy

This alive

She was perfect

At that point I felt like I was in love

With this girl just close enough for me to see but far away from my reach

We had the live of School of Rock the series in common so she sang some of the songs

She was a hugeee Freddy fan

I found that cute

I went back inside and spent the entire night on YouTube trying to learn the Love yourself song Freddy sang

I was a terrible singer but when you are in love you just do things you have no idea you could do. I learnt the song and the next day

I sang it for her

Word for word

Just like he sang it heck I felt like I surpassed him. She loved it and she was so happy. She said she wanted to squeeze me cause that was the happiest she had been in a while

I felt even happier

I made her happy

I went inside and dance and shouted and I was just overwhelmed with joy

I made her happy

I fucking made her happy

I did

I felt on top of the world so I did what you expect me to do

I learnt all the songs in one day

I don't know how I did it

But I did

Maybe I am low key a genius or maybe it's the power of loveeeeee

But who cares

I get to make her happy

I went downstairs to get something real quick when I saw her Aunt

I am friends with her, she loves me but i don't know how to ask her to invite me over and I don't want to put her in trouble

But today was my lucky day since she needed someone to help her carry the bag of water upstairs. So I volunteered, i was on the stairs when the reality hit me, I have only ever spoken to her from a distance

What would I say when I meet her, I started sweating, my body felt heavy, my knees were shaky

I walked in, dropped the water, turned around and she was there

Staring at me

I guess she was also in the same predicament

We nodde at each other and I ran out. I felt this bug regret but I knew there was nothing I could have down

We meet at our usual spot the next day and we spoke like usual but this time she said she wanted us to sing together

We sang her favorite school of rock song

One call away

And I had this heavy feeling in my heart and fear

I felt like I should tell her how I felt

I should tell her that this past month has being the best month in my life and I don't know if I want her to go

I wanted to tell her that I was in love with her

But I was too scared

I didn't want to make things weird

Plus she is literally one call away

I still have time

I woke up the next day and went outside

She didn't show up

It happened for a week straight

Nothing

Was she made at me

Did I do something

Is she ignoring me

Another week went by and I didn't see her

But I saw her aunt and I asked for her and she said she left

She was gone

I didn't know what to do

I didn't know what it meant

Like till next holiday??

" No, her parents and her travelled but they are coming back. I don't think she is coming her again tho " she answered

I broke down

I felt hurt

My heart beat got so fast it felt like my heart was trying to escape my chest

It hurts

It hurts so bad

And I didn't tell her how I felt

Maybe if I did she would have left a way for Me to contact her

Maybe she would have known how much she meant to me

The best holiday in my life quickly became the worst

The funny thing about love is it can quickly screw you over. She is gone and I might never see her her again but maybe just maybe because of me she would come back her

For the next two years I spent every day during every holiday at my balcony waiting for to come outside and wave at me

I gave up when they moved out

Now I absolutely have no way of ever meeting her

Five years passed now and I remember her everytime I sing, every holiday, everytime I go outside to my balcony but the painful part was that I have no idea what see looks like anymore, I have forgotten her name, maybe she never told me.

But her voice, the sound of her singing is still there

At the back of my head

She is still lives with me

My holiday love

My balcony partner

I guess it was the right person but the wrong time

Maybe it was meant to be

Because after her my life was feeling with more unfortunate love events

I wish I had told her how I felt tho

Maybe

Maybe in another universe

I would have been confident enough to at least hold her once.