Socially Suicidal Human

"CHLOEEEEE!!! A-A-A-Are- Are you hurt!?" The hero asked in a panic. Hm... He could really make a scary face.

"N-no..." The little girl answered while sweat dropped.

"Thank God...." The hero slumps down while saying that. It looks like he's worn out.

"Oy, you better keep your promise." I calmly stated while still drenched in blood. Wiping them is quite a bother so I'll just jump to a lake later or use material creation for things...

"Hm? What promise?" To my surprise, the self-proclaimed hero stated this.

Of course, I don't even need to flaunt my magicules to show how angry I am. "Hoo? You don't value your life, do you?"

"I'M KIDDING! JUST KIDDING, OKAY!? JUST STOP WITH THOSE CLAWS! AND WIPE YOURSELF FROM THOSE BLOOD FIRST!!!" The hero burst out in response.

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"Sorry, Chloe-chan... I was going to let you eat the cake but..."

"It's fine, nii-san. Rather... Won't it taste better if we eat it with more people?" At that moment, the child radiates a glimmer of innocence.

"Kuh-! You're really a good kid, Chloe-chan!!!"

"Hurry up there, I'm hungry." I stated.

"You're really something, brat!!" (Masayuki)

The hero then looks at his other companion, "Yoshida-san... Please bring out our food."

"Sure thing, lad" The bulky chef in armor took something from his huge bag.

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It's almost impossible to believe... In this medieval world of magic... Such confection existed!?

Sugar is valuable...this must be a hell of a waste of money. I'm not complaining though.

A slice of golden cake, the burnt on the outside spread evenly so that it doesn't look like the cake was burnt at all... And chunks of cheese are scrambled equally— minding their location to not bump with each other whenever I took a bite.

But that is not all...

A chocolate sauce. No... It's a whipped Ganache.

You are using them as whipped cream on top, but they are chocolate.

Who knew such a dish existed in this God-forsaken world... For how long had I looked for an otherworlder stray that could reproduce such confections... I never expected that I would meet one now.

Chocolate whipped cream on top of Cheesecake... It is such a simple dish, yet it serves me with memories of the past modern world...

"Hiks... How is it, kid? It's good enough to kill for don't you think? Chloe-chan's chocolate cream is great too..." These are Masayuki's words, he's crying while saying so.

"Ha ha ha! Chloe-chan is getting better and better at baking. I'm quite proud" These are the words voiced by the chef in the group, Yoshida Kaoru-san.

That comment caught my attention, "Huh, you made this?" I asked the little girl.

"Y-yes!"

Huh... That brought a smile onto my face, "You did well, servant."

"That's right, that's right— Wait, WHOM ARE YOU CALLING SERVANT!?" (Masayuki)

The banter goes on while the little girl gave us a wry smile.

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[After eating...]

"Anyways, what's your name, kid?" (Masayuki)

"Hmph, You should tell me yours first." I immediately responded.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" He deadpanned in response.

But he then took the initiative to introduce himself, "I am Honjou Masayuki, I'm a Her— a fellow Adventurer" I was pretty sure he was going to say "hero" before.

Well, doesn't matter I guess...

The chef says, "The name's Yoshida Kaoru, lad. Nice to meet ya."

And finally the little girl, "I'm... I'm Chloe, Chloe O'bell...." Huh, four words escaped from my mouth.

"Did you got kidnapped?"

"THAT'S NOT IT!!!" (Masayuki)

"Her guardian is in ingracia right now but... Well, You can say I am her temporary mentor..." Huh, guess they have their circumstances too. I'm not really that interested though.

I stood up, "Dazai... Dazai Osamu. That's my name." Thus I stated.

My sentence gained a pair of wide eyes out of three. "So you're an otherworlder after all huh??? Did you not have this thing called Cheesecake or something???" The hero asked of this.

And my response was, "There was... I was just making sure the cheesecake you meant was actual cheesecake and not some weird other world's food."

"Ah, I see..."

Such was our exchange.

However... Something surprising happened afterward... The girl who was silent this whole time... Bowed at me.

"It's- It-it-it's...  IT'S AN HONOR TO MEET YOU, DAZAI OSAMU-SAN!!!"

EH?

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At first, I was confused, but then...

"You're Dazai Osamu-san? The real Dazai Osamu-san, right!??" The little girl somehow turned into a fangirl now...

But afterward, "Hey, lad... Do you know about the book called 'No Longer Human'...? You wrote it didn't you?" The Chef was the one who asked about this.

"You read the book too, Yoshida-san!?" Chloe asks the cook with eyes full of glimmering stars.

"No, but... It was a popular book back in my past world."

Book...huh, that makes way too much sense.

I think I've figured things out, I do hold the memories of the original Dazai Osamu after all. But even he does not create a book called "No Longer Human"...

This means, it is the world outside outside of the book who was probably the "God" of that original world.

You know what? F*ck it, That is the past world, now I don't want to meddle with them anymore.

"Yeah... I know about 'No Longer Human'... A story is full of empty bullshit. It feels so empty that it cannot be filled with anything else. Doesn't sound like an enjoyable story is it? Don't tell me it becomes a best seller somehow?" The moment I said that...

"Eh!? Er...." (Chloe)

Looking at her reaction, no way... So it got famous? Seriously? I may not be the author, but knowing the fact that someone with my name wrote a book about disqualifying himself as a human being is a bit...

"Let me just check... What does the book tell?" I asked.

This caught their attention.

"U-hmm... The main character was a suicidal—" but before Chloe can finish her sentence...

"Yup, that's enough. Sounds like something I would've write." I deadpanned.

I can see their bewildered face clearly from here.

"Hmmm... You don't look like the type of guy who is suicidal, Dazai-san..." The cook has quit at addressing me with 'lad'.

"That was a long time ago in the past. While I do still desire to die, something caught my attention and I feel like I couldn't be left hanging before killing myself."

Though...

"✨I don't mind dying now if you have a painless suicide method in mind~✨"

Since I'm a normal human now, I wonder what'll happen if I die once more.

And well, Pain Resistance is not enough to actually resist every single pain so...

"Yea— no. Sorry, we don't aide anyone with their suicide." Masayuki deadpanned flatly.

"That's a shame, you don't have to worry about that though... I hate forcing my deaths on someone else. And currently my dream is to commit a double suicide with a beautiful woman." (Dazai)

"Uwaah... You are a one piece of work." (Masayuki)

"I don't want to hear that from you, Lolicon." (Dazai)

"Who are you calling lolicon!??" (Masayuki)

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To be continued